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2010 Thoughts

Sunday, January 03, 2010

1. This is the second time I have been attempting and focusing on losing weight for this long. The first time was a few years ago for Nov 24 - Mar 1st.

But the first time I was just pushing gym and letting everything else far to the way side and it hurt that attempt.

This is the first real attempt that each day is the first day of my life but each day is a continuation of the next. I have logged for 51 days. I never was like I am going to stop logging and start on Monday. I just kept going, kept looking at my trends and kept working on me.

I think for the first time, I understand - "I don't diet." Using sparkpeople has instilled within me good life habits of watching food and portions, healthy substitutes and eating with purpose. I still allow myself an occassional tv eating moment or snacks or things like that but it is more about learning to eat better in life and not just a crash diet. I started out doing fab and slid the last 30 days but I kept it up and just pushed.

I love the quote, "If you're going through hell, KEEP GOING."

I rode my dip back into depression it took me a few weeks to really try and manage it all. I finally see and feel some great moments ahead.

I am going to keep listening to all the great audio books / lectures and keep mentoring my life against those who are living it!

I feell like seeing some wonderful people who are like me reach awesome weightloss goals, and having such a great support system that I really can do this. One pound at a time. One choice, One decision at a time.

GO 2010!!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATELOSS2009 1/3/2010 5:03PM

    there you go!!! as long as you control THIS MOMENT, there's nothing you can't do!!!

Keep at it, sweet girlie - we're right beside you on the path and won't let you fall away...

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DEBBIE1414 1/3/2010 4:49PM

    Your outlook is good, good to do things now instead of later! I have to work on that myself!

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XENAMY 1/3/2010 3:08PM

  I remember November through March. We shall remember these days too and speak of them fondly. The change is here and now. This is the reinvention, and I can't wait! emoticon

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Todays Thoughts

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Tori Amos once said. I am like anchovies. You either love me or hate me.

I often feel like I am anchovies. Today, I feel like anchovies.

Also, I seem to lose weight and stay accountable when I have people checking up on me, yelling or firmly demanding a reason for the occasional madness. I like the competitive side and the side where you band together and all decide to stay on task and keep each other on task and keep calling out that you disappeared. To stay in your face. lol...

Does anyone know any groups out there that work for them like that?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATELOSS2009 12/30/2009 9:50PM

    you'll have PLENTY of that with the Pudge-Off team! I'm so glad you joined us.

and now that you let me know you need a kick in the rear now and again? I'll be happy to oblige. mwah-ha-ha...

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just PROMISE me you'll stay on SP at least every other day. and know that if you disappear, we'll notice. you WILL be missed.


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XENAMY 12/30/2009 5:02PM

  Ok... when are you going back to gym? Because let me tell you... my goal is to get to your weight, and then taunt you mercilessly.

P.S... I got your secret love messages. I'm around. Wrapping up 2009. No gym, but eating fabulously.

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Starting the journey back to source...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I feel like my whole life I have been running from a wisdom, an experience.
I would consciously take the easy way out kicking myself all the way back to the beginning on these vicious cycles of wishful thinking change.
I always felt this silence inside of me that would tell me what to do but I always chose the easy way.

After a few days of trying to stay centered and on track, I realized a few things.

1. Deepak Chopra said on his one cd. There is a human being, a human feeling, a human thinking, or a human doing.

I spent my whole life running from the being in me. Or maybe I spent a whole life running into ... becoming me. But as I listen to him say these words. I realized all my hard work during the days are human doing. They are not human being.

To go along with this, I realized that I do a lot during the day. I handle a lot and take care of a lot. But not me. Also...

A definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I have to strip my day down to individual tasks. And are these tasks leading to, building a foundation for, in tune with my dreams, my ideals, my goals, inner Erica?

I run around like a mouse in a wheel exerting so much effort. Trying so hard in this futile race of pain, stress and unrealistic or focused expectations.

I realized that my goals need to be centered around those daily tasks that without a doubt will lead me to a path I want to live.

I need to stop patting and rewarding myself for hard days and a lot of tasks completed.

I need to start patting myself and observing myself and holding myself to those few tasks that lead to my goals.

And if you look back at all my attempts to change and lose weight before -- I have never really or for long focused on those tasks.

Some of my accountability tasks:
Writing
Exercising
Drinking Water
Taking Vitamins
Yoga
Meditation/Visualization
Inspirational Text/Media/Study

2nd and Last Thought for today --
I was transferring spoken word and meditation music to my new mp3 player. And I found motivational talks by Earl Nightingale. Now this guy seems old and sounds old but I decided to listen anyway - It is better than eating cheetos or watching jerry springer or something.

And I just had this odd feeling sit down over me. I felt like I could see Earl Nightingale and then all these other speakers I ever listened to and I felt deep inside of me like this little seed blossoming ---

And that seed said - If all these people from the past until now are all saying the same thing - Imagination, Visualization, What you think about, attention, positivity --- don't you think you could employ these techniques?

And I really feel it. Almost like if I close my eyes and it was a sandwich I could bite into it and taste it. Like an after taste. I want to hold on to this feeling and manifest all of my potential.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERENA_DOVE 12/30/2009 3:47PM

    Such a great post. I have been feeling that same sort of feeling myself lately...like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz...she had the power all the time but didn't know it. I can relate. *smiles* best of luck to you as you move through this sparktastic adventure. :)

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MUNDOFLOR 12/29/2009 9:00PM

  Hey, I like your accountability tasks = )

Best of luck!

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2009 Thoughts for 2010

Sunday, December 27, 2009

So here I am just a few days before the new year. Usually I spend the new year at home. I write a letter to myself and read the one I wrote the year before. I take a luxourious bath and maybe have a good meal earlier that night.

I must have had losing weight on my resolution list for at least 14 years.
Most of my tactics are ones I tried before. Part of me is scared of this 2010, It can not be a repeat performance. I will not allow this.

This week will be hard as everything is in turmoil. Work, my time schedule, etc. I just have to take it one day at a time, one moment in time and not allow people to push me too hard. I have to allow myself lunches, meals and time to take care of myself.

I have to remember -- what really is me and what will help me get to the goals I want to tackle!!!

I am quite optimistic. Since I started sparkpeople around 11/12, my mentality, focus, energy and postivity is stronger.

I will keep reading and listening to motivation tapes.
I will write, exercise and eat right.
I will start building a foundation and creating a strong atmosphere and person.

I love sparkpeople and all my new friends and supporters!
Everyone is so wonderful.

emoticon Here's to achieving goals and never ever failing a goal or myself.

There is no try only do.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATELOSS2009 12/29/2009 8:35PM

    2010 CAN be totally different!! we're all in this together!

all you have to master is THIS MOMENT. if you can control THIS MOMENT, you can do ANYTHING.

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SNORFSNORKEL 12/28/2009 12:54AM

    Great attitude - keep the Spark!


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KRICKETTWO 12/27/2009 11:11PM

    HEAR, HEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!


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GRNISHADE 12/27/2009 10:05PM

    Well said! Here's to goals and acheiving them...

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Comment edited on: 12/27/2009 10:06:14 PM

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ANELAKANOA 12/27/2009 8:40PM

  Yay!!! Sounds great to me! emoticon

Anja

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HHI0901 12/27/2009 8:25PM

    Wow, what inspiration!! Thanks for this blog. I might try writing a letter to myself too :)

I'm sure you can make this upcoming year exactly what you want it to be.

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Healthy Side Effects of Sparkpeople - Sensitive Woman Info Inside

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I think since probably about age 11, except for when I was on birth control pills, I never got my period two months in a row. And here I am attempting to eat better and I just got my period for the second month in a row. And I only just started sparkpeople. I have to tell you -- even though it sucks -- having my period two times in a row and not being on birth control makes me feel like I am doing something right. I couldn't believe it! I am 31! And I had it in Nov and Dec. I am not holding my breathe for January. But I must say that it gives me hope for the possible changes it has in my body, just eating and watching and taking care of my body.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAROTGARDEN 12/24/2009 10:30PM

    I was NEVER regular, in 30+ years, until I started living the SparkPeople way. In the past, I might not have a period for six months, then suddenly have three periods in one month. (I've never been on birth control or any chemical products to control or treat any aspect of my reproductive system, BTW). Furthermore, I would have HORRIBLE cramps every time, for at least a day or two, and sometimes up to a week before I started my period. Now, not so much. A little, but noting compared to the way it used to be.

The last time I went for a physical, my doctor asked me if I had been missing any periods, having lighter periods, etc. I told her no, and that I'd never been more "textbook" in my life when it came to my cycle. She looked at me oddly and said, "you know, usually women your age are having signs of perimenopause. You haven't had any evidence of that at all?" I told her nope, nothing. She seemed pretty stunned by that.

I don't know why they don't do more studies on the connection between nutritional habits and our cycles. We all know they're a b*tch to deal with, but my experience suggests that it could be a lot less problematic if we were putting the right types of foods into our bodies on a regular basis. And I'd certainly prefer "natural" solutions to artificial, pharaceudical ones!

Thanks for sharing, HG78!

-- Jeannette

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XENAMY 12/23/2009 4:59PM

  Wow? Really? That's fabulous! They say stress has a lot to do with skipping periods. Maybe you're not so stressed out anymore? LOL!

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