Monday, September 17, 2012
...and that is my best assessment of my first spin class. At the urging of a friend and the offer of a free trial spinning class, I blissfully took on the challenge. Oh the naiveness. It started out well -- the instructor adjusted my bike and seat, added a padded seat cover and told me how to work the controls. So far so good. We had a few moments to warm up and that went okay as well. So about 8 minutes into the class, the instructor said stand up and peddle. Could not do it. Could absolutely not do it. Big Fail 8 minutes into a 50 minute spin class. So as I sat there still pedalling, but not doing what about 30 others were doing, I thought 'how can I get out of here the most gracefully.' Then I caught the instuctor's eyes, and he gestured with his hand for me to just keep pedalling. So I did. And through all his instructions of standing and increasing the tension and encouraging commands, I just kept pedalling. And though I felt somewhat like an idiot, I didn't stop. After 30 minutes, I really did want to leave because -- well, just because. But again the instructor gave me that wave of the hand that says keep on going. So I did and after 50 minutes we went through 5 minutes or so of stretching and cooling down. I left with a good feeling that I didn't give up when I wanted to (best of times), but also with the feeling that spinning is just not the exercise for me (worst of times). And that's okay. There are plenty of other types of exercises I can enjoy and at least I got a good sense of accomplishment and a desire to pursue other exercise options.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
So I have been watching the Olympics and though I have enjoyed them thoroughly, I can't help but feel a little envious of the athletes and the great shape they are in. Of course they are younger and they devote days, months and years on end to be competitive in their sport. But there was a time when I was like that. I was very athletic and played tons on sports. And now in retrospect, I am miles away from that fit girl. Sometimes now I am winded just walking up a flight of stairs. So you wonder where is that person that played softball, basketball, tennis, ran track and bowled. It all boils down to mindset. We get older, start a job, a family. There's no time for organized sports or activities. Or so we tell ourselves. So one year doing nothing turns into two years, then ten and so on. And then one day you are watching the Olympics and bam it hits you -- Girl, you have let yourself go. It is my fault, and my problem to fix. So no, I won't make the Olympics (unless they start a senior bowl), but I can still start doing all the activities I used to. It's as simple as making a commitment to yourself and keeping it. JUST DO IT.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
It's not everyday I have an epiphany, but today I think I had one. I'm almost sure I did anyway. I have struggled with my weight for some time now and today I wondered if it was due to a lack of self-esteem. Did I not feel I was worthy of looking good and being fit? Maybe the answer is yes. Do we view looking good as a sign of vanity? Maybe this is why people in general do not accept compliments well. If we get a compliment we're quick to say, Aw, this old thing or I just threw on anything or some such drivel instead of just saying, 'Thank you.' Does this come from our parents and society teaching us humility. After all, we empathize more with humble people, not vain ones.
But today, I threw out the notion that wanting to be fit again is vain.
Getting healthy is not vain. Getting in shape is not vain. Looking great is not vain. It's smart. It's just the right thing to do to be at your best mentally and physically. We are not on our journeys to outdo others or look better than others, but to be the best we can be. It just makes sense and in the end, if I happen to look better than all my friends, well who am I to question fate (lol - oh, the vanity!)
Friday, June 22, 2012
I went for a walk in the park this afternoon (and it was hot as you-know-what by the way). Walking is not only a great exercise, but also a good time to think and reflect. And so I did today. I walked about one and a half miles very slowly but determined. As I lumbered along, I thought about how 20 years ago I would have covered the same distance in half the time. I had no knee issues then and barely broke a sweat. I couldn't help but think 'where did I lose myself.' How had I become over 100 pounds heavier. I don't know how it happened, just a steady gaining of pounds year after year it seems. When I returned home, I couldn't help pulling out some old photo albums (big mistake probably). But there I was, this wide-eyed and thin high school girl full of life and energy and innocence. Where did I lose myself was all I could think about. I bemused that maybe a picture of my former self should be on a milk carton with the caption: "Have you seen this woman?" So I managed a little chuckle through the sadness.
Okay, so I allowed myself those few moments of sadness, but I am a practical gal who is not disconnected from reality (most days). All living things age. Even the trees and flowers I walked by in the park grow from day to day and year to year. It's the process of life. So though I don't expect to look like a 20-year old again, I would like to have some of that stamina and energy. I used to play sports like softball, tennis, basketball and bowling. But I have given up all those things due to my obesity. And I am obese because I have given up all those things. Catch-22, yes, but nonetheless, the answer to where did I lose myself is: 'Nowhere'. I've just grown, literally and figuratively and now I'm striving to be the best me I can be. Even if she is not the perky girl of 20, she is still pretty darn special.
Friday, June 15, 2012
It's been said that Love makes the world go 'round, but Hope is the fuel that makes it happen. Without Hope, people give up. Nothing matters. 'What's the use' becomes the motto. Hence: hopelessness. Hopelessness is a buzz kill. It is a death knell -- especially for anyone trying to lose weight. So today, when a feeling of hopelessness came over me, I decided to confront it head on instead of letting it have its way with me. So I asked myself why was I feeling this way. Answer: too much weight to lose (100+) and it will take forever. Next, I dissected each of these points. Point 1-Too much weight to lose. Really? Well, has it been done before? Yes. Will it be done again? Yes. Then it is doable. Point 2-It will take forever. Really? That is the thing about hopelessness, it often deals in exaggerations. It will take some time, yes, but not forever. I immediately felt better -- even invigorated. I was the dragon slayer and hopelessness was the dragon I just slayed. (insert pump fist) Haha, the games we play to get through the day. But I say, whatever works to keep you on track to reach your goals and slay those dragons.
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