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DETERMINEDDOLLY's Recent Blog Entries

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Monday, September 17, 2012

...and that is my best assessment of my first spin class. At the urging of a friend and the offer of a free trial spinning class, I blissfully took on the challenge. Oh the naiveness. It started out well -- the instructor adjusted my bike and seat, added a padded seat cover and told me how to work the controls. So far so good. We had a few moments to warm up and that went okay as well. So about 8 minutes into the class, the instructor said stand up and peddle. Could not do it. Could absolutely not do it. Big Fail 8 minutes into a 50 minute spin class. So as I sat there still pedalling, but not doing what about 30 others were doing, I thought 'how can I get out of here the most gracefully.' Then I caught the instuctor's eyes, and he gestured with his hand for me to just keep pedalling. So I did. And through all his instructions of standing and increasing the tension and encouraging commands, I just kept pedalling. And though I felt somewhat like an idiot, I didn't stop. After 30 minutes, I really did want to leave because -- well, just because. But again the instructor gave me that wave of the hand that says keep on going. So I did and after 50 minutes we went through 5 minutes or so of stretching and cooling down. I left with a good feeling that I didn't give up when I wanted to (best of times), but also with the feeling that spinning is just not the exercise for me (worst of times). And that's okay. There are plenty of other types of exercises I can enjoy and at least I got a good sense of accomplishment and a desire to pursue other exercise options.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    WOW!!! You persevered and made it through! It's not your thing but, at least you tried!

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HEYITSJUDED 9/19/2012 1:26PM

    You tried something new and different!! emoticon . You didn't give up that is emoticon! I have not tried a spin class yet. I am a little scared,too. One day maybe. You tried spinning didn't like it, but there are lots of other classes to try out there! I am sure you will find the right class or classes for you!!

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Olympians vs Couch Potato

Sunday, August 12, 2012

So I have been watching the Olympics and though I have enjoyed them thoroughly, I can't help but feel a little envious of the athletes and the great shape they are in. Of course they are younger and they devote days, months and years on end to be competitive in their sport. But there was a time when I was like that. I was very athletic and played tons on sports. And now in retrospect, I am miles away from that fit girl. Sometimes now I am winded just walking up a flight of stairs. So you wonder where is that person that played softball, basketball, tennis, ran track and bowled. It all boils down to mindset. We get older, start a job, a family. There's no time for organized sports or activities. Or so we tell ourselves. So one year doing nothing turns into two years, then ten and so on. And then one day you are watching the Olympics and bam it hits you -- Girl, you have let yourself go. It is my fault, and my problem to fix. So no, I won't make the Olympics (unless they start a senior bowl), but I can still start doing all the activities I used to. It's as simple as making a commitment to yourself and keeping it. JUST DO IT.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 8/24/2012 12:43AM

    I want to feel like I did when I was younger. I have to push myself because I am not consistent. I was so active when I was in high school, I never had to give exercise a thought. Now I have to think of things I might be able to do for 10 minutes without feeling like I won't be able to move tomorrow.

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HEYITSJUDED 8/14/2012 10:33AM

    It doesn't matter how old you are you can get healthy and still do the things you used to do! You have a good outlook on what you want to do, don't loose that! emoticon

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MENNOLY 8/12/2012 6:45PM

    All it takes is a bit of determination. You can do it! emoticon

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Sunday, June 24, 2012

It's not everyday I have an epiphany, but today I think I had one. I'm almost sure I did anyway. I have struggled with my weight for some time now and today I wondered if it was due to a lack of self-esteem. Did I not feel I was worthy of looking good and being fit? Maybe the answer is yes. Do we view looking good as a sign of vanity? Maybe this is why people in general do not accept compliments well. If we get a compliment we're quick to say, Aw, this old thing or I just threw on anything or some such drivel instead of just saying, 'Thank you.' Does this come from our parents and society teaching us humility. After all, we empathize more with humble people, not vain ones.

But today, I threw out the notion that wanting to be fit again is vain.

Getting healthy is not vain. Getting in shape is not vain. Looking great is not vain. It's smart. It's just the right thing to do to be at your best mentally and physically. We are not on our journeys to outdo others or look better than others, but to be the best we can be. It just makes sense and in the end, if I happen to look better than all my friends, well who am I to question fate (lol - oh, the vanity!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 7/10/2012 8:07AM

    You are worthy, girlfriend!

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HEYITSJUDED 6/30/2012 5:47PM

    Great blog! I am a little vain but I think that is what is partly pushing me to work and get healthy (skinny!) Who wants to be the fat girl or chubby one in the picture, NOT ME(anymore!) I do not however think that I am better, prettier or healthier than anyone else. I just want to be better than what I was or am right now. Always strive to be better, that is all you can do!!

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MMBALMONTE 6/27/2012 1:08PM

    LOL. Showing results and being happy with what you look like on the outside isn't vain. It's motivation. Sometimes if I don't see it I'm not as motivated. So let's not depend on it. In time if we put the effort it'll definitely show. I once lost 60lbs and dammit I looked good.

I battle with vain vs. health all the time. My culture thrives on looks. At first I was like I don't care if I'm a Filipino Chubby girl.. .Now I'm doing it for health only. And yes.. if I happen to look good.. oh well :)

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PHOTOFAN440 6/26/2012 9:45AM

    We are on the same page! Do I deserve to be the person I know I can be.....I have thought about that alot. Sabotage myself because of low self esteem. We do deserve it, and we are worthy! Great thoughts today! emoticon

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MDBUTTERFLY 6/26/2012 8:54AM

    Great blog! I think we struggle for so many reasons sometimes and why for some (like me) it is a long journey working through those reasons. Congrats on your epiphany!

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MENNOLY 6/24/2012 7:11PM

    emoticonStay motivated! emoticon

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VICTORY2XS 6/24/2012 6:15PM

    Love this! Yes, we have to love ourselves before we can change ourselves. This is so true. And it does seem like it is instilled in some of us that not being self-deprecation is vanity. It's hard to overcome, but the support I find here is certainly helpful. There is so much encouragement here.

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Have You Seen Me?

Friday, June 22, 2012

I went for a walk in the park this afternoon (and it was hot as you-know-what by the way). Walking is not only a great exercise, but also a good time to think and reflect. And so I did today. I walked about one and a half miles very slowly but determined. As I lumbered along, I thought about how 20 years ago I would have covered the same distance in half the time. I had no knee issues then and barely broke a sweat. I couldn't help but think 'where did I lose myself.' How had I become over 100 pounds heavier. I don't know how it happened, just a steady gaining of pounds year after year it seems. When I returned home, I couldn't help pulling out some old photo albums (big mistake probably). But there I was, this wide-eyed and thin high school girl full of life and energy and innocence. Where did I lose myself was all I could think about. I bemused that maybe a picture of my former self should be on a milk carton with the caption: "Have you seen this woman?" So I managed a little chuckle through the sadness.

Okay, so I allowed myself those few moments of sadness, but I am a practical gal who is not disconnected from reality (most days). All living things age. Even the trees and flowers I walked by in the park grow from day to day and year to year. It's the process of life. So though I don't expect to look like a 20-year old again, I would like to have some of that stamina and energy. I used to play sports like softball, tennis, basketball and bowling. But I have given up all those things due to my obesity. And I am obese because I have given up all those things. Catch-22, yes, but nonetheless, the answer to where did I lose myself is: 'Nowhere'. I've just grown, literally and figuratively and now I'm striving to be the best me I can be. Even if she is not the perky girl of 20, she is still pretty darn special.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KURS10B 6/22/2012 7:35PM

  You may find that girl yet. I do more at 40 than I did at 20. Loosing the weight helps. Heck, just getting up and doing something helps. Keep moving!

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    We'll find the new and improved version! Slow and steady wins the race.

Congratulations on getting your walk done.

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MENNOLY 6/22/2012 5:53PM

    You may not find that girl but you can discover a new and healthier one! Keep walking and watch your food intake as you lose weight you will get more energy and you may find a you that you never thought could exist. I know I did.
Last August I wrote this blog

I weighed 220 pounds then. I was exercising but not enjoying it. Walking a 16 minute mile was the most I would hope for. Today I can walk/run a 5k in under 43 minutes. I feel a lot better and I weigh 54 pounds less. It is work and requires dedication but I did it and you can too. emoticon

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Hopelessness: The Sequel

Friday, June 15, 2012

It's been said that Love makes the world go 'round, but Hope is the fuel that makes it happen. Without Hope, people give up. Nothing matters. 'What's the use' becomes the motto. Hence: hopelessness. Hopelessness is a buzz kill. It is a death knell -- especially for anyone trying to lose weight. So today, when a feeling of hopelessness came over me, I decided to confront it head on instead of letting it have its way with me. So I asked myself why was I feeling this way. Answer: too much weight to lose (100+) and it will take forever. Next, I dissected each of these points. Point 1-Too much weight to lose. Really? Well, has it been done before? Yes. Will it be done again? Yes. Then it is doable. Point 2-It will take forever. Really? That is the thing about hopelessness, it often deals in exaggerations. It will take some time, yes, but not forever. I immediately felt better -- even invigorated. I was the dragon slayer and hopelessness was the dragon I just slayed. (insert pump fist) Haha, the games we play to get through the day. But I say, whatever works to keep you on track to reach your goals and slay those dragons.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KADASE 6/18/2012 2:08PM

    I'm with you - don't give up. Take it a step at a time and stay focused. You have the power to determine the outcome!

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INFLATED 6/17/2012 10:03PM

    I love your attitude and I believe you will make your goals. Keep on keeping on even it is by taking baby steps.

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HEYITSJUDED 6/17/2012 2:35PM

    You go get those dragons girl, slay them all!! I will slay mine!! I loved this blog, you sounded a lot like my husband. He says he is at war! Whatever is needed to get healthy and change our lives we have to use to get it done and get through it!! Keep up the good work emoticon

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MENNOLY 6/16/2012 7:20AM

    If 100 pounds is too daunting break it up into smaller chunks once the weight starts moving off it will increase your hopefulness and you can reset your goals. When I got started January 2009, my goal was to get down to the low 200's with a dream of 180. When I started Spark (at 235) my goal was to get down to 180. As the weight fell off rather easily compared to the previous two years, I chamged my goal to 155 (healthy BMI). Now that I am close to that BMI I actually am starting to dream of getting below it. It is only a dream, I'll let you know if it becomes a goal when I reach 155 emoticon emoticon

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SUZBOISANNE 6/16/2012 7:02AM

    Giving up and being hopeless is easy... anyone can do that. You are choosing to succeed and are determined. That is your chosen path. You have slayed hopelessness and victory is your sights. Bravo!! emoticon

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HELLODANAE 6/15/2012 11:29PM

    let's then slay those dragons!!! really nice way to put it!!! emoticon

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