Friday, September 05, 2014
THE two big problems in my life right now: my weight, and my severe lack of money. No wonder I can't seem to stick with SparkPeople for very long when I'm always so anxious over being unable to pay bills (much less save anything or know I can pay back my loans) that I can't function properly. Outside of those two areas my life is fine...they're just such huge looming monsters that most of the time I can't see that.
I have about $50k left in student loans (and still no real job prospects, hence the constant stress).
As of a couple days ago when my car died and I needed a new one, I have another ~$10k in debt.
Not to mention regular bills and fees and Lord know what else on top of them!
And I have about $2k to my name in total right now.
I really feel like I'm sinking, but I don't know what else there is I can do. I can't afford to just pick up and move when I see out-of-state job listings. There're no opportunities here, and I can't even try to get back to my boyfriend in Texas because I can't complete with all the ranch-raised competition that bump me out of the running for every job that comes up.
So...since I can't seem to do a blasted thing to get out of my biggest hole (yes, I consider money a bigger problem even than my health it's so bad), I can AT LEAST try to exercise more to put a slight dent in my other big problem: my weight.
While I haven't gained ALL of the weight back that I had on January 1st this year, I'm pretty darn close. I think my net weight loss at the moment is like 5-6 pounds now...which IS really tiny, but at least it EXISTS and it's not a negative number! In this case, literally EVERY little bit helps.
I'd expected to lose more weight doing field work this summer, but due to some project troubles and having to eat out so often that didn't really work...but at least I know how to better prepare if they'll take me back again next year, so there's that I guess.
One day I will be healthy, and able to have a body type I can be proud of. And maybe one day I'll even be able to pay off my financial nightmare and be able to live a happy debt-free life I can also be proud of....but either way it's going to be a huge struggle.
....on a side note, if anyone knows anyone who may want some simple [usually semi-cartoony-based] art commissions or to look through some nerdy things on eBay, let me know with a SparkMail or something XD