DELITFRN   19,679
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DELITFRN's Recent Blog Entries

surgery went well ---- home recuperating, but scared of falling off wagon

Friday, February 14, 2014

had surgery yesterday, supposed to fairly simple rotator cuff repair from a delivery gone bad.....but found a broken collarbone,holein the rotator cuff and torn bicep muscle/tendon.......So needless to say had a rough day. I'm so very scared of falling off the wagon during this recovery period; but I will try to keep myself together for I have come too farat this point to stop or let my old habits return......Thanks for listening..... emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIE542 2/14/2014 9:53AM

    I hope you heal very quickly from your surgery, sound like so many problems there, hope they were were able to repair all. I am dealing with frozen shoulder right now, was very painful!!
Be gentle with yourself, you have gone through a lot. emoticon

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I'm tired of being scared and full of self doubt and destruction!!!!!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Well today I am going to share a little more information than I normally would share.... I have not taken true advantage of the "Sparkpeople community" like I promised that I would...... Today I am going to start and make every effort to do this daily. I have been on a life changing mission for almost 2 years (5/9/2012) and have lost a high of 55 pounds now at 45 pounds!! I know deep in my heart that I should and I am grateful for this but I feel as if I am spiraling back out into that abyss of no-control again and all because of insecurity, fear and self doubt. You see, I have never had any real self esteem or self worth. Coming from a childhood of abuse and secrets..... Rewards of food is where my addiction began and has continued for 45 years. Yes, I have moved forward with this and I definitely like to think that I have not let my past define me as a woman but I do continue to have low self esteem and insecurity. Why do I do this???? I want to move past these areas and continue on changing my weight and my life!!

I have been married to my best friend for this year being 25 years..... yes he is aware of my past in part; I have never shared all details and never will so that I don't go back down the road that I have traveled. He is so very supportive of my journey and has finally decided to join me in this. But my dilemma continues; where has my motivation gone? Where is my willpower?

I hope that by blogging will help me get feedback, will help me see what I write and use it as a tool to figure out where my self destruction comes from. As I begin this next step of my phase I am reminded of my favorite motivational quote...... "You'll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine."

Thanks for listening and here's to moving me to the next step....... emoticon


Accomplishments !!!!

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Today I tried going outside my comfort zone; I walked along the highway, sweating like crazy but I walked 4.13 miles !!!! I am so proud of myself and my accomplishments in this journey ! Go me !!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIE542 7/31/2013 2:00PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LADYBUG4869 7/31/2013 1:14PM

    Congratulations!! I'm proud of you!! That's a great accomplishment! emoticon

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Positive thinking

Monday, July 29, 2013

I have always been a half glass empty kind if gal .... But since making this life transformation I find myself being half glass full !!!!! Loving life !!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SORTIZA99 7/30/2013 2:31AM

    We need to think positive always.

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MTN_KITTEN 7/29/2013 9:53PM

    I love it!!!!

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BUSYGRANNY5 7/29/2013 7:59PM

    Positively love this!!! Keep on keeping on!!

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Sunday, July 28, 2013

Health today is more important to me than it has ever been. I look forward to my workouts, to my planning, to my meal ideas, etc.... I look forward to my clothes fitting better, to seeing the scale go down (although I'm working on checking that only once a month !) and to the day that I can come off the one remaining blood pressure medicine that I taking. Yes, health is my second priority right now ..... First is ME !


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