DELADY1   6,821
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DELADY1's Recent Blog Entries

Learning that living in pain,doesn't mean I have to quit!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

So most of you know me and probably noticed I have been MIA quite a bit in the last year and a half. At least that! I have been holding things in and didn't want to tell anyone what I was dealing with. I didn't even know in the beginning what was wrong myself and surely didn't want anyone else to see me break down. A couple years ago my wonderful friend Jen spent a lot of time trying to help me become that runner I so desperately craved to be. I pushed and pushed and did really great, but slowly weeks later I started to notice severe pain in my hips and buttocks. This seemed weird to me because at the time I was only 37. I was scared and went to the doctor to find out what was wrong. At first, my doc said I had a pinched nerve in my back and that was it. No big deal..People live with that all the time,Right?? So I tried to continue running,and noticed the pain got worse and sometimes so debilitating I would make excuses to my friend why I could not run. I didn't want her to know I was in horrible pain and how seriously ridiculous that sounded just to me... I mean again, I am not an elderly person, So why am I having a hard time getting up and down from the couch or bed. I went back to my doctor and once again, she said it was probably due to my breast size causing the breast pain. So she gave me some pain medication and told me to only take when I needed it. I found myself falling away from running and from exercising all together because the pain was horrible after ever physical thing I did. About a year later I told my doctor I was scheduled for reduction surgery. I had my surgery done and immediately I felt better.. So, I thought it was all gone..I am ok now..Once the pain med started to wear off, I could feel the pain in the buttocks and backs of my legs..I couldn't even bend down to pick things up and was embarrassed that I had to ask my kids to do it ,Or I would plant my feet wide apart and hold onto something to brace myself. I continued to go back to my doctor and she sent me for more test,blood test ,ect.. So here is the kicker..Six months ago, I found out I have Fibromyalgia.. If you don't know what that is, let me just start by saying, I t is the worst muscle pain I have ever had and I do not have to do anything physical to even get to that point. I told the doc I really want to run again, and she basically told me she advised against it.. So not only was I being told I have an issue that will forever haunt me, But I won't get to be a runner??WTH!!! WHY?? Have I not been through enough in these years. I didn't fall away from the Spark because I didn't love it..I fell away because I didn't know how to be a part of it if I couldn't even figure out how to fix myself, then what could I possible give someone else. But then I read my friend Jens Blog today about the half Marathon she did. And I must say, That was the most inspirational thing I have read in quite a while. I need it because she talked of how she got really ill and felt defeated, But, she never gave up. Then she talk of her foot pain, Throwing up while running when sick, breaking vessels in her eyes..And still, Never gave up! Her determination made me think, you know what..It's not over till I say it is, And I am not ready to give up yet..Who says I can't run..While it may be painful, I will have to learn ways to get around that. It was bad enough that I gained ten lbs right after reduction from being sedentary, but I will not let everything bring me down.. This is still within my control and if it takes me a little longer to get there, OH WELL!!! At least I will get there and can feel that feeling of achievement..Honestly, I just want to be able to do a 5k..That is all I ask for God!! I know many of you would have been there to support me through all I have been dealing with, But I just didn't know how to ask. I recently wrote a post on my face book page saying how it seems like when your face down in the dirt , Someone final ask if your ok..And all you want to do is look up and say. NO, I wasn't ok 2 years ago. Where the heck have you been. But, then I realize , no one knew what was wrong with me..I hid it well..So I am learning how to let go and move on! I got this! And I will not let the pain defeat me..I can honestly say now "No pain, No gain." LOL







  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SALLY_MANDER 8/15/2013 3:07PM

    So sorry to hear you've been going through such a rough time. But if anyone can get back at it, I know it will be you. You are so determined (after all, that's what has gotten you this far!), I know you can do whatever you set your mind to. Yes, there will be modifications to your workouts (and life) and there will be bad days - but you will persevere, simply because you are YOU!!

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DELADY1 8/13/2013 9:28PM

    Thanks ladies, ANd Jen..You inspiring me all the time and I must say you are one of the runners I admire most. Kinda like the war quote. " Never leave your wing man behind.: You never have and so many times tried to get me going again..I was always in such a poor pitiful me mode that I just couldn't shake it..But, I am ready to give me all even if it kills me! I can't quit! I refuse to let myself down or anyone else who may be struggling like me! Thanks again for always being there! emoticon

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MYSPARKLER 8/13/2013 8:37PM

    Thank you for explaining what you are going through. I am sorry it's been so rough! Don't give up. You will be able to find something that works for you, whether that's running so some other activity.
Hugs.
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FLGIRL1234 8/13/2013 7:25PM

    Oh girl, I wish I had known how bad things got for you. I really wondered why someone so determined would suddenly start to fade away from our workouts....I guess now I know. I have met very few people who inspire me the way you do (yes even now) because your drive and determination is always there. There is a fire in you that won't die...you know it...I know it.... and I felt it the day I met you for our first walk at Gemini. You were always there, doing our workouts without fail. You got so far so quickly and I fully believe you can again. When this all started to happen you were already running a 5K. Remember that time we ran the whole trail at Gemini and were so freakin' happy???? You and I had some really great moments. I remember you lighting up like a Christmas tree. You are so full of life girl and I love that about you. Never give up on your dream. I will be here for you every step of the way cheering you on. If you want to start with some short walks right now, let me know. We can get you going again. I can be the support you need. :)

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My Breast Reduction Journey.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Has been a very long time since I last posted. May 6th 2013 I had my breast reduction surgery. Was really scared and excited all at the same time. That morning I went in afraid of being put under anesthesia. But what kept me moving forward was knowing that I would soon have smaller, perkier boobies and my "black eye" running days are going to be over..lol.. I went in at 5 am and was put under at 7 am. By 9:30 am I was all finished. WOW, 2 1/2 hours only? I later found out that the anesthesia was making me sick and they had to give me heavy doses of nausea meds and pain meds during the procedure which is why they made the surgery faster. I noticed immediately that the breast was lighter, but the pain was pretty rough right afterwards. Because of my pain I had to stay at the hospital longer because I couldn't stop throwing up from the pain I felt and nausea as well. Fortunately I was better within a few hours and left the same night. The first week was the most rough..I had to go back to the hospital because I had chest pain so bad I thought I was having a heart attack. Glad to find out it was only air pockets in the chest wall and they would have to absorb into the body. It was pretty scary. I have had a few small setbacks and unfortunately gained a good 7 lbs from staying sedentary soo much,but I can tell you that I am feeling pretty great now that I am 5 weeks out. I am looking forward to week 8 when I can finally start to exercise and start jogging again. For now I am just staying positive and looking for the goal at hand. My pain is better and I would most definitely do it all over again. I am loving the looks of my perky pretties...lol...I will soon be posting more blogs and keeping everyone updated. For those of you thinking about breast reduction, Please do not second guess yourself..I wish I had done this years ago..No more back aches or shoulder pain for me..I am on my way to the woman within who has been waiting to break free!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DELADY1 6/14/2013 4:55PM

    Thanks Everyone! DJ4health. As long as your daughter needs at least one breast size reduced and can go to her family care doc to get documentation that the breast size is causing her back pain and so forth then she could probably get the reduction approved by insurance. Also the do go off your weight as well..Here is a website that may help her. I don't know If I am allowed to post it but just informational anyways.
They may have a webpage on here for women with Breast reductions..I will check...

http://www.ehow.com
/about_5246616_breast-reduction
-insurance-coverage.html

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LAWANDMUSIC 6/14/2013 3:36PM

    Going under the knife is never easy. I am so glad that you had the chance to finally do this. My cousin had it done a generation ago, and I know she was very much happier afterward. Blessings to you!

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CHRYSSIE718 6/12/2013 8:05AM

    Good for you for getting the surgery; I remember you talking about it years ago. It took real courage to go through with it and I am sorry it didn't go perfectly smoothly for you. The results are worth it and I wish you a speedy recovery!



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FLGIRL1234 6/12/2013 12:08AM

    I bet you will feel fantastic once you really get out there and feel the difference. Behind you every step of the way girl!

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STRONGERLEANER 6/11/2013 10:52PM

    Hope you continue to heal quickly!

Glad that the initial sickness from the surgery is gone. Nausea is no fun!

I don't know anyone who has had the reduction surgery and regretted it.

Happy, healthy, healing!

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DJ4HEALTH 6/11/2013 10:17PM

    My daughter wants to do that too but has to wait until the money is there for her to do it. If she can get the insurance company to pay for it she would get it done now.

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My next step, Breast reduction surgery!!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

My whole life I have been extremely top heavy..To the point where Ileterally cannot buy a bra at a walmart of even a victoria secret.. Back in 2005 I was scheduled to have a breast reduction and had it approved and covered through my insurance,unfortunately the day before my surgery I found out I was pregnant with my daughter Emily who is now almost 7. Sooo, I had to cancel the surgery. Now 7 years later I am really paying for it. Back about a year ago I had begun to have alot of lower back pain and couldn't even roll out of bed in the morning. It has slowed me down to the point that running was not even an option for me. Apparently my I have spinal Lordosis or as I call it to much pressure on my spine causing it to be compressed. SOO they put me on a pain med just so I could sleep at night and function daily..Over the past year I finally just felt like I have had enough and am scheduled for a consultation on the 19th of February to go ahead with the breast reduction..My doctore feels this would really correct alot of my back pai and at this point, I am done not being able to run because I have the back pain or because I have to hold my boobies with my arms criss crossed to keep them from blackening my eye..LOL..SOOOOO, this is my next adventure and I will let everyone know how it goes..However I do feel greatful that while I have had these problems I learned enough of eating habits and will power to not gain all my weight back..The most I have gained back so far is 10 lbs,but still have a loss of over 40lbs so I wont totally beat myself up..haha..Anyhow, I am going to stop rambling and just say..Please pray for me and wish me luck..I could use all the support I can..Thankyou fellow sparkers!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DELADY1 2/13/2013 6:32AM

    lol @ Jen..Maybe I wont lose 30 lbs of boobs ,but I will take what I can get....LMAO..THanks for your support as well..Means a lot to me...

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FLGIRL1234 2/12/2013 8:42PM

    Hey just think, Maybe that will be 30 pounds of boobs you'll lose. Win win in my book. lol, j/k girl. Wish you the best with the surgery.

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LAWANDMUSIC 2/12/2013 7:31PM

    Good luck and best wishes to you for a successful surgery.

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CHELLELEIGH 2/12/2013 5:48PM

    Good luck! I hope that this helps ease your back pain.

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DELADY1 2/12/2013 4:45PM

    Thanks ladies:o) Really appreciate the support!

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LUCKY8GAL 2/12/2013 4:38PM

    Good luck:)

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MOMMASLILGUNNY 2/12/2013 4:34PM

    Best of luck!!!! emoticon

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Giving up??? Not A Chance!!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Recently I have learned so many new things about myself..Like I am human and I WILL stumble and make mistakes..BUT, I also know that because I am human I am also able to pick myself back up and continue on my journey to my future. I am not setting goals anymore, Just putting forth effort daily to just do my best in reminding myself what it is that I want to see in my future..No Pressure this time and so far, I am doing great.. I have learned that the only way I can get anywhere is to figure out where it is I am going and remember that there are many detours on the way..Yes, I will probably take a few of them cause I just get too curious..But, I WILL find my way back each and every time and that my friend is enough for me to NEVER quit and Never stop looking for a better route..Have a great journey all of you, and don't forget to look at the scenery around you..You don't want to let it pass you by because of blinders..It may be something useful to your journey:0)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLGIRL1234 10/29/2012 12:03AM

    Great attitude! You got this girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FATBASTICH 10/25/2012 9:15AM

    good for you.

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RAWHIDE64 10/24/2012 8:15PM

    We all have to find what works for us. It sounds like you found it. emoticon

Lew

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REDRUNNERMOM713 10/24/2012 9:30AM

    Love this!! emoticon

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MYSPARKLER 10/24/2012 9:01AM

    Well said. It's good to hear from you again!
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Ever felt like just saying Heck with it?

Monday, August 27, 2012

These past few months are really eating me alive, I have had sooo many darn medical issues to dewal with from bursitis in my hip, to having to have teeth pulled and then now having to go back for an abcess in the gum from the removal. And I have had two seperate allergic reactions to medications. I am seriopusly trying not to fall and while I am staying within my range 3 lbs up and down.. I still cannot stop the rollercoaster and get the heck off.. I miss running with Jen, she is the only one who EVER inspired me to not stop or quit. Even my biggest inspirators have moved on and not another word hardley..But, Jen still checks on me and when I post positive thoughts, cheers me on..Thanks Jen, You are probably the only reason I haven't totally given up..Watching your post and your success wakes me a little more each time..I know I cannot Quit, and I will get through this..I just hope it is sooner than later cause this fat girl feeling has to go..I want my identity back and to live life running full force...I know I am complaining, I truley am sorry about that..Just needed to vent..Thanks for listening.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEVINDHARE 9/11/2012 12:24PM

    Dont give up...YOU ARE WORTH IT!! I know there are dark times, but after that is over, you are in a much better place and SO MUCH STRONGER!! Keep it up...

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RAWHIDE64 8/27/2012 8:02PM

    Venting is good. It helps get all the bad thoughts out so you can concentrate on the good ones. You're allowed to do that here. It's OK. emoticon We have to weather the bad times so we can enjoy the good times more and you will have good times. I've been riding this roller coaster called life for a long long time and I've felt like saying the heck with it many many times. However, I have adopted the credo "This too shall pass - it always has" and I keep plodding along.

Your words read like a complaint but I hear a determination to never quit in there.

You'll weather this storm and come out of it stronger than you were before. Just get through each day and deal with tomorrow when it gets here.

Lew

PS - You do know that as a West Volusia Sparker you are encouraged to gripe but quitting is out of the question. emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/27/2012 8:06:01 PM

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BARBIECAT 8/27/2012 5:05PM

    We all feel like saying "the heck with it" or "what's the use?" but that's never the answer.....you just pull on your big girl pants and put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing and one day you'll wake up and things will be better

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MEXGAL1 8/27/2012 3:41PM

    what ever you do, don't give up!!! You deserve to have a good healthy life. You only have this one life and eating right and exercising is going to make you feel better in the long run. it took me 60 years to figure this out but for sure it's the one thing i know for sure!
Best of everything to you. You can do this thing. Don't let silly food and lack of movement rule your world.
Rock on!
Sallie

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FLGIRL1234 8/27/2012 3:22PM

    Oh girl. I feel your pain. I have been there many times in the past myself constantly going up and down and feeling like it would be so much easier to give in and give up. Any time I have those feelings I start to think about the ending result. Do I want to feel this way all my life? Will I be happy with myself if I just let it all go and not care? Of course the answer is no. When I think like that it helps push me in the direction I need to go in. Life gets in the way and we have set backs but we CAN push through. You are one determined woman when you set your heart and mind to it. If you want this, you can have it. Just take it one day at a time, one better decision at a time. I am always happy to be here for you, check in on you and help push you through. That's what Spark Buddies are for right? I am right here with you cheering you on like I always am. You can do this girl. I've got your back.

Jen

p.s. Miss running with you too! :)

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THREEE 8/27/2012 2:52PM

    asking for an ear you may find you have one...posting, i am sure, helps too...
let this be a less complicated, more fun week for you emoticon

but still vent if you need to... emoticon

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SOAVEZEFIRETTO 8/27/2012 2:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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