Monday, November 16, 2009
I'm having a love affair (with food)! I make plans to meet it in my car, in restaurants, on my lunch hour, and in the dark of night.
I long to be faithful to the good guy (veggies, fruits, lean protein), but I crave the leather jacket, motorcycle riding, fun, James Dean type (pizza, garlic bread, cheeseburgers, chocolate).
I swear this will be the last time. I feel guilty afterwards. It's hurting other aspects of my life (energy, moodiness, self-esteem, wasted money, health).
Sounds like an affair -- doesn't it?
"Ah-a" moment. Look how I glorify the wrong foods. I discriminate against whole food groups. I can have pizza and still make it a healthy food choice. Portion control is more important than eliminating the fun foods entirely. I can change my recipes to make them healthier.
A big part of the allure of eating for me is peace & quiet, relaxation, me time. When I'm at work, I'll go out for fast food just to avoid the noisy breakroom. It doesn't feel like a break if I'm still with my co-workers and people are talking to me. I go to restaurants alone and bring a magazine. I love to treat myself to this escape. I could take a walk to be alone or go to the library or a park to read. I could take a bubble bath in the evening to relax and be alone.
I need to put these thoughts into action.
Thank you friends for supporting me and not being enablers! You see me doing wrong and call me on it. When I need a kick in the rear or a V8 slap to the forehead, I can always count on my SP buddies to give it to me! I love ya for it.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
I had my meals all planned yesterday. Then I received a last minute invitation from my girlfriend to go out to dinner (after our water aerobic class).
What do do?
I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I also want to live my life!
I turned down the invitation. I need time to strengthen my resistance muscle. I could have gone with her and hopefully, made a healthy choice at the restaurant. I wasn't sure what the calorie counts were and I didn't trust myself to make a good choice. SO, just for this week, I did not put myself in a place of temptation.
We went to class together. We laughed and chatted with each other. Then we parted. I had a good time without eating.
Next week, maybe I'll go to dinner. I won't have the margaritas though!
Some times things have to be spontaneous. I will have to trust myself to live healthy even in those moments or make up for it later. This week, I wasn't ready to do that. It was a tug of war, but I think I made the right choice for me.
Now, this morning I wanted to go to McDonald's for breakfast. Instead, I made scrambled eggs (one whole egg and one egg white) in a pan sprayed with PAM. I had an english muffin with peanut butter on it and a cup of green tea. Delicious!
As long as I make more good choices than bad ones, I should be able to lick this weight problem!! My snack last night was 100 calorie popcorn and a tootsie pop. No candy bar this time!
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
My head is a very funny place to live! I had 2 good days in a row (Yeah)!! Yesterday afternoon (the day wasn't even over), I found myself checking to see if my pants felt any looser. Good grief, talk about wanting instant results!!
I have my meals and snacks planned for today! I used the nutrition tracker. I put it in writing so that's what I need to eat today. Stick with the plan.
Last night, we made grilled steak fajitas. Mine were made with 3 oz. of steak and 1/4 cup cheddar cheese, and loads of onions, green peppers, and tomatoes. Fat-free sour cream. I went heavy on the veggies. It was delicious!!
I limited myself to one diet soda. I had a 100 calorie pack of popcorn, a mini Baby Ruth candy bar, and a tootsie pop for snack. Compared to what I normally snack on -- this is good. I was still within my calorie range.
I didn't want to exercise, but I put in a 4 mile WATP DVD. I quit after 2 miles, but considering I didn't want to exercise -- 30 minutes was better than none.
This is a long blog (therapeutic). If you quit reading after the first paragraph, you read my main message. The rest was just for my own record. Laura was right "it does feel good to have a fresh start."
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