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wow! Real KEYS!!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

About two weeks ago my beat up laptop finally expired. :( Then, through the incredible generosity of a friend, I was able to order a new Dell Latitude...which goes retail for $1200 and which I got refurbished for $350. It arrived yesterday and today I've been happily catching up with friends whom I normally chat with. Thankfully I was not completely offline. I do have a Kindle Fire but I'll tell you....styluses suck! I'm much happier--and much faster--typing away without having to look at the keyboard all the time.

That's the good news. The bad news is that I am suspecting that I have neuropathy. Another painful disease on top of the four I already have. However I have not had a doctor's opinion yet so I should not be diagnosing myself.

I've been at home completely now for two weeks. It is just getting too hard and too painful to make excursions. Today three of my friends from church are coming over to visit.. That will be nice. Although I'm afraid I've forgotten how to converse.

My husband refuses to take me anywhere especially if I need my rollator walker or the wheelchair. He won't put them in his car or lift or push.....
So I will be relying on friends to keep me sane. He also doesn't speak to me so I go for days without conversation. It's not so bad when my daughter is here but she is leaving again today for her boyfriend's house so alone once again...

I will keep you posted although there is not much to say.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PGHP31CK 7/22/2014 1:51PM

    Yay for the computer! So glad that you were able to get a new one!!

Praying that you're wrong about the neuropathy.

Hugs & love,
Susan

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SEATTLE58 7/22/2014 12:35PM

    I'm so glad that you have good friends to help you! What a good relief that is for you. I think of you so often with lots of love and care and wish I could help you too. emoticon But I do anyway, with my heart. emoticon emoticon

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_LINDA 7/22/2014 10:04AM

    You have some wonderful friends! Thank God for them! My neighbour has neuropathy among other diseases including diabetes, but she helped bring it on by poor lifestyle choices including smoking and obesity (morbid). Praying you do not have that one as well :-(
Its nice to hear from you again, hope you have a nice visit..
{{{gentle hugs}}}
Linda

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And so it Goes

Saturday, June 28, 2014

I really wish I could go somewhere this summer. With every summer that passes I slide further and further away from "health" and "strength" But our garage needs a roof, our deck needs to be power washed and sealed. We need new kitchen floors....and there simply is no room in that list for "Vacation"....especially when to go anywhere and have any kind of endurance for pain, I must go in my wheelchair....and my husband will not have any part of that. *sigh*

I will NOT feel sorry for myself. I will , instead, be grateful to have enough money to do those tasks for home improvement. I will be grateful for the days when my daughter is at home and enjoy her company. I will eat the lettuce and tomatoes I have growing on my deck and be grateful to God for them.

There are many gifts from God for which I will be grateful. We have a thread on the RAD Team page....called :Smile Detectives....where we seek out things that made us smile and we share them with each other...NOTICE what makes you smile. And tell a friend. Share your smiles!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUDITH316 7/22/2014 4:35AM

    My Dear Friend,

Been thinking of you of late and wanted you to know I continue to stand with you cheering you on your journey, emoticon for your continued support on my blogs and for your valued friendship, you are a blessing in which I thank God!

Sending you BIG emoticon emoticon emoticon

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_LINDA 6/29/2014 2:00AM

    Yes, we do have to be grateful for what we have. I too, have been wanting to get away but my medical problems or work keep getting in the way. I enjoyed the first fresh baby cucumbers from the Farmer's Market today. Been a long winter without locally grown produce..
Good idea for a thread! Is it possible I am even busier now with one arm out of commission? Much slower with one finger typing..
Love your attitude!
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JANISMKW 6/28/2014 8:14PM

    Gratitude is good. A benefit is it's the biggest boon to happiness.

I love the website http://www.gratefulness.org/ I subscribe to their Word of the Day... a brief quote they email every day relating to gratitude. Takes a second to read but thought-provoking (and free!)

Enjoy your lettuce and tomatoes. emoticon emoticon emoticon
God bless.

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LISALOSING52 6/28/2014 2:11PM

    YOU Dear Heart, Make me smile. emoticon
It is wonderful having spark friends like you and I'm grateful and blessed for all the little things as well.
Have a blessed day my beauty!

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10 suggestions for meeting my goal

Sunday, June 08, 2014

yes.I lost 8 lbs in the hospital....came home on oral steroids and gained 6 lbs back. I struggled with despair.Why is it that I'm having such a hard time BEING GOOD on this Eat To Live program.the first time I went in gung ho and jubilated as the pounds dropped off. I will try again. I know that this is the shortest route to the goals I desire to reach.If I could get solidly into a size 16, I would be very happy. Of course that is not the end of my goals....but it is a good solid start.

What made the weight come off in the hospital? NOT HAVING ACCESS TO IT 24/7. I did have graham crackers here and there but not a whole box.

what happened to the firm selfcontrol I had as a teen and young twenty-something with regard to food. I simply did not eat. I had every excuse in the book, right on hand. "I ate before we left" "upset tummy tonight" and so forth and so on. Now I eat and I know people are thinking, "Should she really be eating that with the way she looks?It's mortifying. I was so embarrassed to be seen eating that I only ate at night....when no one could see..

I know these are not coming from a healthy perspective re: food. But face it: every person here has or had twisted behaviors and faulty, skewed thinking about this substance we put in our mouths because we must or we die. What will free us?
1) God's words: "You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free." Do you know the truth about your body? I read "YOU - on a diet" by Dr. Oz. That was a big bowl of truth....and it wasn't pretty. How can truth set us free?(in regard to food)
You know those "before" pics....the ones with the sad faces, embarrassed and ashamed. Do we really know what we look like? I know I don't. I can't find my camera which is maybe a blessing. But if I do find it, I'm gonna take a few honesty shots. I'm going to take a good hard look at what other people see when they see me. I've got to "own" those images. And then --every twenty pounds lost, I will photograph again and again. I will study each pic. I will try to pick up something that weighs 20 pounds just to see what I am lugging around on these inflamed joints. Every twenty pounds I will reward myself with something I want (not food!)

The truth shall set you free.
Here are some truths:
1) I am a child and creation of God, the maker and sustainer of the universe.
2) As such he loves me with an everlasting love...not because I deserve it but because he not only made me; he bought me....at a very dear price.
3) God wants me to be healthy as much as possible ...and for the rest, to lean on him completely for strength. He has unlimited reserves.
4) I need to understand that it was my behavior that got me where i am today. Just as no one forced me to get overweight, no one is able to lose it for me either.
5) Be patient with yourself. Be happy with every pound gone.
6) I am engaging in self defeating patterns of behavior....even when I know I should not eat those pieces of pizza before me...I do anyway.
7) use breath prayers to get you through bad temptations.
8) Use activities that are absorbing which keep your hands busy so you do not eat.
9) Keep communication lines open between God and myself.
10) Keep your eyes on the goal before you. Imagine hitting your goal....the excitement and happiness. PRE-live it.

Keep seeking TRUTH. Remember : we have to KNOW truth in order to be set free from bondage,food addictions, unhealthy habits of eating. Gut honesty before the all-seeing gaze of the MIghty One. Once we become immersed in truth something will begin to happen.We will no longer play games with our psyche.WE wll no longer tell ourselves or believe our own lies.

Surround yourself with people who have accomplished difficult things. Ask them questions.
my journey begins right now. I'm done with all the detours.I'm done with excuses.I'm DONE with watching myself get fatter and fatter. No one will do it for me. Are you ready? Let's GO!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 6/8/2014 9:29PM

    emoticon emoticon
What are breath prayers? Meditation? I need a way to calm the ranging frustration of a body being uncooperative and constantly giving me a very painful struggle in everything I do which you know all about.. My spark friends always say how I inspire them, but right now I am the worst example -gained 21 lbs, probably more, no weigh ins here. Way too much emotional eating. Way too much time to think here. Not liking what the future is bringing.
Here is hoping we can find a way to get out of the bottomless pit!
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SEATTLE58 6/8/2014 8:07PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JANISMKW 6/8/2014 7:40PM

    emoticon Dear Cynthia,
God does love you! It's not always easy to love ourselves. emoticon Do not despair, have hope.
I'd suggest:
emoticon Set up your environment to help you. I have decided I can't have a carton of ice cream in the house; I can go out for one serving. I know it is hard when others are bringing unhealthy stuff into the house. Can you ask them/him not to? At least if he still does, it's been pointed out that he's sabotaging you.
emoticon Make small changes. 20 lbs. is a BIG goal. Maybe give yourself a small (non-food) reward after 2 lbs. Carry around a 5 lb. bag of sugar for a while and appreciate how much lighter you'd feel without it. I am a huge fan of visualizing the actual weight that way. That's reality.
emoticon Be aware of your emotions and hunger/fullness level, don't get too far in either direction.
emoticon Protein, water and fiber help keep you full.
emoticon Blessings and success. emoticon

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SHOOTINGSTAR12 6/8/2014 6:26PM

    emoticon emoticon

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VICTORY

Thursday, May 29, 2014

I got home from the hospital yesterday.As I dressed to go home, I noticed something. Yes, I all swollen and puffy from the steroids. But my huge GUT that has been growing larger and larger,suddenly seemed a little smaller.Sure enough, my pants buttoned with out a struggle. I said to my husband in the car on the way home, " I think I have lost some weight!" he said "Yes, you have"....

This morning I was eager to get onto the scales. I had been 227....and today I weighed 219!! 8 whole pounds....gone almost without effort. I did keep tracking what ate. But I ordered normal to large quantities of food and ate every last crumb. I do not understand how I could lost 8 lbs while on IV steroids. It is inconceivable.

Now with today's grocery order....I will be switching over to the Eat to Live plan. In this plan I do not have to count calories I just have to watch WHAT I eat. Quantities are almost unlimited. In fact you are ENCOURAGED to eat 2pounds of veggies in a day. One pound cooked, One pound raw. Add to that a cup of beans.and some onions and mushrooms....and you can eat it all without fear. You are encouraged not to eat between meals but at meal times, stoke it up!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 5/30/2014 12:51AM

    emoticon emoticon
So glad you are home and everyone is on board to try this diet!
Good luck with it all!

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JANISMKW 5/29/2014 4:25PM

    Nice Non-Scale Victory!!! emoticon

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JANNY316 5/29/2014 1:29PM

    Glad you are home from the hospital and great news on the weight loss too! Congratulations! I am interested in the Eat to Live plan that you have mentioned. Have a great Thursday.

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no place like home

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

It is 4:47AM, and I've been up since around 3:00. Steroids make bad bed mates.so here I am ,starving and wish I g I had ordered more for breakfast.even though they have been tapering the steroids, they are still peaking in my bloodstream. It will take a few more days before t can feel more normal.

I am going home today after nine days in hospital for asthma. It will be nice to get back home ...I am beginning to put us,all back onto the Ear to Live food plan. My husband is content with just eating raw veggies... me? I need something more interesting ...Dr Fuhrman has recipes for dips and salad dressings... I'm going to jazz up the plain fare with some of those recipes....and that way DH can pick and choose. If he wants to stay with his commercial ranch dressing, he can. He also has good recipes for hummus,..so I will make some of that as well.

Tonight I have Bible Study....I m wanting to go but don't know if I will be welcome after just leaving the hospital. But t think I m going to trying. Someone down the hall is coughing up a lung...It's so annoying to listen to some one coughing like that. The only thing worse is for me MYSELF coughing.

I think that's all for now...Next time you "see me"I will be a free woman!



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 5/29/2014 1:38AM

    So glad this latest ordeal is over for you and that is great news DH is on the same page as with food as you! Hoping this will work out and that you will have peace and harmony in your house and at the dinner table!!
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JANISMKW 5/28/2014 9:28PM

    Glad you are going home; hope you are breathing better!!
Hope the bible study is welcoming, if you go... asthma isn't contagious after all. I bet they will show you some love.

I like to make a salad dressing of salsa and plain Greek yogurt. Put it on Mexican/Southwestern-type salads with black beans, etc.
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Comment edited on: 5/28/2014 9:28:57 PM

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MOM2ACAT 5/28/2014 6:32PM

    I'm glad to hear you will be going home!
I wish you all the best!

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MELNJAY3 5/28/2014 8:24AM

    I'm glad u r feeling better and can go home. As far as a dip I like to use light sour cream and ranch seasoning packet, low sodium. It's like ranch dressing but less calories. Taste good and thicker too. Good luck to you.

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SEATTLE58 5/28/2014 8:00AM

    I'm so happy that you'll be going home soon! Yes, there's no place like home and I'm sure you feel that more than ever. One sure needs good hospital care though, when we need it. And I'm so glad that you got it! Good luck to you! emoticon

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