DEBULACLARK   51,780
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DEBULACLARK's Recent Blog Entries

You know you're in trouble when...

Monday, March 30, 2009

...the nurse from the Dr's office calls you and a says you are an "interesting patient". She was talking about the results of my cat scan for kidney stones. Apparently, I have a ton of them in both kidneys. Also, my left kidney is swollen and there is an extremely large stone in that kidney also....HUH?

I have no signs of stones....well, except the lower back pain and crampiness....but I never thought it was kidney stones. They are impressed that I haven't complained of pain.

What even made them look for the stones? Weeellll, when I had all the bladder tests, one was a sonogram of my bladder and kidneys, and they saw them in the sonogram....

Thankfully, I'm fine so far. I have a nagging suspicion that once the Dr. starts messing around in there, I'm gonna be crying though.....EEEEK!!!

WHAT NEXT????

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEANVIXEN 4/4/2009 3:45PM

    Oh no! I hope that you don't experience ANY pain. I'm keeping you in my thoughts babe. Sending my love :-)

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NOMI_822 4/2/2009 7:18PM

    Oh Debbe, I hope everything goes alright. Girl I can tell you how it feels for sure, that happened to me last summer when I ended up in the hospital with pain. They put me to sleep and went in removed mine. This after the dr. told me I was nuts that I couldn't have one. They like to use the sound thing to break them up if they can here but I was in too much pain. I lost a couple of days but after that I felt great! Keeping you in my prayers, Girlfriend!!! emoticon

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SCAROUSEL1 4/2/2009 2:39PM

    OH MY GOODNESS GIRL... TAKE CARE... HUGS!

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JENIFIREHARP 3/31/2009 11:02PM

    phew... sounds like no fun for you!!! At least they saw them! I guess do your research and see what your options are before they start messing with you!!!

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CATIATM 3/31/2009 1:37PM

    emoticon That sounds horrible! You poor thing!

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SHINYSILVRVOLVO 3/31/2009 1:04PM

    Owie!! That's one word you definitely never want to hear...kind of like an oops at the salon.

Good luck with this, and I hope they can fix you up without causing too much pain.

{{HUGS}}

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COLORADOTINK 3/31/2009 9:24AM

    REMEMBER YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR BODY, SO YOU TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. emoticon

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KIMCATUS 3/31/2009 9:08AM

    Yikes!! Your poor thing! I hope all goes well and you can stop being interesting to the doctors!! *HUGS*

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DISPATCH91 3/31/2009 7:59AM

    Bless your heart. I do hope things go well and easy.

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FIENDISHSARAH 3/31/2009 7:44AM

    Good luck with everything! I hope it all is a smooth procedure, and you're better in no time! emoticon

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OK - this is the "real" me

Friday, March 27, 2009



So, for The Challenge of Harry Potter, we had to post our picture. Even though this picture is from August. I've pretty much been at a stand still since then. I'm using this pic because I thought I was looking wonderful when really I was then and I am still considered overweight. Bathing suits don't lie.

We also have to post something positive about the picture. I am actually 12 lbs lighter than when I started my journey. You can see the beginnings of muscles forming. Now to just get back on track...

Here's the rear view...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENIFIREHARP 3/30/2009 11:19PM

    We always look different than we feel. Last summer I was also surprised when I saw my pic, I felt so "skinny" but I still had a ways to go.

You will get there... just keep working towards your goals!!!

BTW you like fine to me. I think you are being to hard on yourself!

Comment edited on: 3/30/2009 11:20:48 PM

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HRDWLBY 3/29/2009 6:54PM

    Debbe,

I think it was very brave to post a picture in your bathing suit! I have clothes on in mine! I wouldn't let anyone take a pic of me in a bathing suit.

Helen

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SUETINGE 3/28/2009 4:33PM

    Debbe - I think you look wonderful! Relaxed and happy.

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FIENDISHSARAH 3/28/2009 3:59PM

    You look beautiful here Debbe! And you are doing wonderfully with your goals! You're a lot braver than I am too, just like Izzy said :) Way to go!

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IZZYBUBBLES 3/28/2009 11:14AM

    I think you look great - look at those shoulder muscles! And you look like you're having a great time, too!! Way to go with posting your pic, I'm not sure I'm quite that brave!

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DISPATCH91 3/28/2009 10:20AM

    Oh, sweetie you are doing so good. You are going to look so good at the beach this summer. I do envy you I love the beach, I don't go in the water, sand not so great, but listening to the waves and just watching the water is so soothing.

You keep it up! You are doing great.

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QUEMBEL1 3/28/2009 9:14AM

    I wish I looked as good as the "real you". When I go to the beach, people fight over shade space. emoticon

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KIMCATUS 3/27/2009 10:22PM

    All I see is a gorgeous lady with a beautiful smile!! :-)

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SHINYSILVRVOLVO 3/27/2009 10:17PM

    Bathing suits are my nemesis...kudos to you for going out in one AND posting a picture! You're looking great!

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CATIATM 3/27/2009 8:18PM

    I have to wear a bathing suit tomorrow. *sigh* It definitely brings out my insecurities!

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You are all wonderful!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009



Here's a beautiful bouquet to say "thank you" for being here for me, for your words of sympathy and understanding and, mostly, for your encouragement!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OKOBOJI4 3/26/2009 4:18PM

    I'm so glad to hear from you again! I'm glad Sabrina is helping you all through the void left by Sinatra. She sounds like a very sweet, but precocious puppy. My SIL entrusted her dog to us next week, and she's much more energetic than our 8 year old golden. I think she's going to be 3 this year. Thankfully girls mature faster than boys and she's already started to calm down. :-) Riley was about 5 before we really noticed a change.

I hope your surgery goes well (when it happens)- keep us posted!

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CATIATM 3/26/2009 3:11PM

    emoticon

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FIENDISHSARAH 3/26/2009 8:18AM

    Mmm, too bad we couldn't smell them through the computer!!

And anytime Debbe! We're all here for ya! ;)

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SWERVES_1 3/25/2009 10:56PM

    Awww...what a sweet gesture. Thank you!
I'm so glad I'm friends with you!!!

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KIMCATUS 3/25/2009 8:52PM

    Ooooh pretty! Are those lilacs? My mom used to love lilacs!! So glad that you're feeling better sweetie!! :-)

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Enough is Enough!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

As most of you know, it has been a long, hard, emotional winter for me. The loss of a friend, the loss of our beloved Sinatra, problems with my bladder, freezing, dreary coldness and no sunshine. I think this all helped to keep me in my funk for so long. I am determined to come out of it. This is why I revamped my page the other day. Then, on my Challenge of Harry Potter team, we were asked to revamp our page so I took another look at what I wrote. It sounded so negative. I re-wrote again and now I am happy with what I have there. I truly want to be my own hero. I need to snap out of this funk and get on with my life. I must say, my friends on SP keep me smiling - especially the faculty and students at Hogwarts.

Sabrina is doing well. She's only 1 so she's energetic and hyper. She pees when she gets nervous but she will cuddle and sit when I need to hug her and cry. She doesn't always listen and she gets into trouble as most young doggies do. Sinatra was an old soul so he was calm and easy going. This past Saturday marked 1 month since Sinatra passed and Sunday I realized it. It was a tearful day. I know this will pass and Sabrina has a place in my heart already too. There's enough room there for everyone. Dominic loves her and he needed the distraction. He still talks about Sinatra so I know he misses him too. Tom loved Sinatra more than anybody else and he is struggling. He loves Sabrina too but it will take him the longest to accept her unconditionally, I think - he never had any other pet in his life - but I know the total and unconditional acceptance will come.

The bladder issues require surgery which will not be completed until school gets out in June. Therefore, I will not be running the Boilermaker this year...maybe next year. I did run a tiny bit with Sabrina Saturday - maybe it was a subconscious tribute to Sinatra as he was my running partner for so long. We did well. There is hope....

I'm off to bed....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEANVIXEN 3/26/2009 10:46AM

    Deb, I'm so glad that you redid your Sparkpage. It seems like a reflection of a new you...a happier, more positive you that is going to meet her goals no matter what. I know you can do this. You have already fought through so much recently. Everything will be ok with your surgery and I'm sure you'll be at 100% in no time. You're the best. Never forget that and we all love you!

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LIZINVA1 3/25/2009 11:14PM

    Debbe, you rock! i am so sorry you are enduring so much but you are really handling it all so well. I am here for you! I tried to send you a hug but Windows Vista doesn't allow me to do so. HUGS!

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COLTDANCER 3/25/2009 9:54PM

    Thinking of you and glad to be able to read a recent update - take it easy and take care of yourself; it has to be so hard right now after a long and hard winter.

It will come! You'll find a rhythm, acceptance, and harmony with Sabrina in time.

I recommend any and all readings and videos by Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer! We are huge fans and his teachings/techniques have made ALL the difference in the world for us.
(And in my classroom!) :)

::HUGS::

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SCAROUSEL1 3/25/2009 3:47PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUETINGE 3/25/2009 3:15PM

    I'm so sorry for your losses and your pain. I hope that the coming of spring helps to brighten your days.

Good luck with the upcoming surgery.

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FIENDISHSARAH 3/25/2009 2:33PM

    I hope all goes well with your surgery- we'll be thinking af you.

And I agree with everyone else- it takes time to be able to cope with losing a loved pet, but in time, you'll remember him and it will make you smile instead of sad. Glad to hear Sabrina is a happy energetic addition to your family!

Everyone here at Hogwarts will help you all you need- just ask! {{hug}}

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SWERVES_1 3/25/2009 12:02PM

    :( I'm sorry to hear about the surgery. Keep us updated, and I will keep you in my prayers.

Sabrina will never be able to replace Sinatra, but I'm glad to hear that you are adjusting to her and love her.

::BIG Hugs::

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IZZYBUBBLES 3/25/2009 11:52AM

    I can't add much to anyone else's comments, except just to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm wishing you lots of sunshine in your life from now on.

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DISPATCH91 3/25/2009 11:49AM

    I am so sorry for your loss and your sorrow. You doing well at revamping and with your new begginnings. Shout out when you need to vent.
Hugs
Jan

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SHINYSILVRVOLVO 3/25/2009 11:11AM

    Hang in there, my friend! We're here for you and are more than happy to offer hugs and support...you're one of the family!

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CATIATM 3/25/2009 10:22AM

    I can't say it better than Kim. Time does help, but it's going to be a while before you don'tstop feeling so raw. ((hugs))

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KIMCATUS 3/24/2009 9:43PM

    Sinatra will be with you every day...some days will be harder than others, but eventually it will be little easier. I promise!

Sabrina just needs love and patience and I'm sure she will be calm down just fine! She's a beautiful girl with lots of happy energy!

Hang in there girl and keep smiling! We're all here for you! *hugs*

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Starting to heal...

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Today is the first day I have not cried over Sinatra. I came close once or twice. It's only 10:00 pm - there's still time. We have decided to adopt a new fur baby. I kinda feel like I'm leaving Sinatra behind. I know I loved him dearly and I shouldn't feel guilty but I still do. She is a beautiful dog and the pic that drew me to her, looked exactly like Sinatra. She doesn't look that much like him in person though. I feel like God drew us to her for a reason. She has a quiet, gently personality like Sinatra did and she needs a loving home. She's at the Humane Society here. Dominic loves her already and insisted we keep her name "Sabrina" - "because it starts with an S and sounds like Sinatra Mom". So that's her name. She will be home Tuesday or Wednesday. My heart felt so much lighter when I met her so I know it's the right thing to do. How do I get over the guilt? I'm crying again...see I knew it would happen.

I took a picture of her Friday when Dominic met her. She really is a cutie.


I'm looking forward to walking outside with a dog again. Sinatra stopped going with me a year or so ago. I think I went too far for him plus he hated the leash.

I know I'll continue to heal over Sinatra and I know having another fur baby in the house will help.

I'm hoping this week I will get my motivation and spirit back. It's been a long, hard week.

Thank you, everyone for your kind words and condolences. He was my baby and I know he is either running around with Pop or waiting for everyone on "The Rainbow Bridge"


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COLTDANCER 3/25/2009 9:50PM

    OH!

I am so behind the times and out of touch - and I must PROFUSELY apologize. My heart is breaking all over again as I know all too well this pain - nearly eight months later I rarely go a day without shedding tears over our lost furbaby. I did not realize you had lost Sinatra and I am so very sorry. I hope that my delayed response does not cause you undue pain.

We tried to adopt a new kitty just last week, and I couldn't do it. He obviously wasn't the right match for us, but I cried and cried when the current owner (a friend, thankfully) took him back home with her. I miss my Munch so much; like you, I felt guilt and as if I was leaving her behind by getting another. I'm having a hard time with that final step of 'letting go'. But, I didn't feel right about this kitty. He wasn't exactly what I was looking for, so I think it was best not to force the issue and regret my commitment down the line.

I am pleased and encouraged by your positive steps - you love Sinatra so much and have so many wonderful memories that you long to make more memories like that and share your home with Sabrina. I think it is beautiful. I think she will help. Our dog Nikki came to us two weeks after I lost my childhood dog; she helped a lot.

My father just sent me a book that, while difficult for me to read because I still feel so emotional, may help - perhaps you know of it: "Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates". It is a Christian man's perspective, based on thorough research and knowledge of the Bible, and his reasons for believing we will indeed be reunited with our beloved furchildren, as with all our loved ones. I find I cling to this hope and pray with fierce tenacity that my child-like imaginings of heaven are truly more amazing than I can muster in my head, as the Bible instructs us to do. There simply cannot be any other place for creations that bring us such joy.

I pray that the month with Sabrina has been a healing one for you and your family - my best wishes and kudos to this new pup - she is one lucky girl.

Love and hugs!

~CD

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SLCOLMAN 3/21/2009 12:16PM

    I am sorry for your loss. I hadn't checked your blogs in a while (bad me - I know). Your new girl is beautiful. What is she? I hope that everyone is adjusting to life well and that you all are happy :)

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CJBAGGINS 3/15/2009 12:16AM

    Hi Debbe. Didn't see this blog until today. What a beautiful new fur-baby. Congratulations! She will certainly help you and your family to heal with her unconditional love. Take care.

cj

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NOMI_822 3/8/2009 3:14PM

    She is beautiful. I am so happy for you and your family. No one ever said you could not love more than one dog. I mean you will never love the same things about her as Sinatra but you will fall in love with other traits. She is a very lucky girl to get a wonderful family like yours. emoticon

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SWERVES_1 3/5/2009 11:20AM

    Oh, Deb, I'm so sorry.

I'm just getting back from vacation and saw the awful news about Sinatra. :(

I'm glad that you've decided to get another. She will help you to heal, and it will probably help her, as well.

::Big Hugs::

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OKOBOJI4 3/3/2009 12:15PM

    I'm glad you were able to open your heart and bring Sabrina home. She's a real cutie! I know your family will welcome her and give her a fantastic home. Sinatra will be so proud of all of you!

emoticon emoticon

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STARTSPARKING 3/3/2009 6:39AM

    I am so sorry for your loss of Sinatra. Sabrina is so lucky to be joining your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope that the special times you shared with Sinatra will continue to bring you comfort. emoticon

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KIMCATUS 3/2/2009 8:43PM

    Oh honey you're giving a doggie a forever home...never ever feel guilty about that!!! She is beautiful and you will never forget Sinatra...he will always be in your heart and since when is there only room in your heart to love one doggie at a time?? Anyway Sabrina is gorgeous and she is one lucky lady...just like Sinatra was a lucky guy!! *hugs*

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AMUNET_RA 3/2/2009 2:35PM

    I recently marked the three year (is it really that long?) anniversary of losing my Sweetheart, Boots! I've cried a few times over the past couple of weeks as he's been in my thoughts. I have three new fur babies in my life now and they won't replace Boots in my heart, but they do fill my world with joy. I tell them stories about their 'Uncle Boots' all the time and they love to hear them!

The healing will go on and giving Sabrina (I LOVE that name) a loving home will honour Sinatra's memory in the best possible way!

((HUGS))
~~Bonnie

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SCAROUSEL1 3/2/2009 1:17PM

    Brutus is the third dog we have had since Shane and I got married. Zach, Zeus & Brutus are all unqiue in their own way and all our members of our family. Just like Sinatra is a member of your family and Sabrina is about to become. Make yourself a small remembrance book or shadow box of Sinatra's life with you. I know you will never ever forget him. Just like I will never forget Zach or Zeus... HUGS!

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NETTSY1 3/2/2009 11:44AM

    Our furry friends aren't just pet they become part of our family. Sinatra will always have a special place in your family. Sabrina too will become special.

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CATIATM 3/2/2009 10:53AM

    I won't lie to you. It was a long time before I got over Kadusha. I think having MacDuff helped a lot, but it affected him, too. He was lethargic and just sad for about six weeks. And months later, when my father asked about her and said her name, MacDuff's ears perked up, and he ran around looking for her. Sinatra sounds like a wonderful companion, and it's normal to be sad - really sad - about his passing. I hope having a new fur baby in the house will help you.

((hugs))

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COLORADOTINK 3/2/2009 10:45AM

    Congrats on the new fur-baby...

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LEANVIXEN 3/2/2009 9:36AM

    I know it must be so hard for you having lost Sinatra. He seemed like such a sweet and wonderful dog. Perhaps he left you so that you could bring Sabrina into your life. He knew what a great home you would give to her and that she really needed it. She looks like such a sweetheart and I know that she'll be able to fill that hole in your heart. Take care my friend.

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SHINYSILVRVOLVO 3/1/2009 10:19PM

    Congrats on the new fur-baby...I hope that she helps you continue to heal. She's a beautiful dog!

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