Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Well, I completed day one at the local fitness center and boy am I upset!!
Not at the staff mind you, but at myself.
It all began really great. I walked in the door showed one of the staff, who just happened to be the manager, my free week pass. She was tall, 6 foot to be exact, lean, muscular an under 30. She looked great, just the way I want to look somewhere down the road. She had a wonderful personality,easy to talk with.
We chatted for just a minute or two and of course I told her about SP and the program that I was working on and what I wanted to achieve. I felt comfortable with her and the facility. Almost. She asked me if I was going to do cardio.
"Absolutely." I replied with an air of enthusiasm.
I almost headed for the tread mill until I was stopped by a moment of fear and confusion. I suddenly realized that these tread mills were covered with all kinds of buttons and pictures. And I had no idea what they all meant.
I humbly turned to the manager and softly whispered,
"I don't know how to operate these."
My enthusiasm dropped to below zero, along with my confidence. I felt foolish and started to wonder what I had gotten myself into.
"Here, let me show you." She said with a smile, not a smug smile, but one of understanding. I guess I wasn't the first person who didn't know how to operate the equipment.
She showed me which tread mill was the easiest to operate and I gingerly stepped onto the belt. I guess I thought it was going to take off at a running pace or something. It wasn't even turned on yet. Silly me.
She pointed out each button and told me what it's function was and how to start the machine. She told me it would start out really slow, and then I could speed it up, or slow it sown, as I choose just with the press of a button. So I braced myself and hit the start button, the screen counted down 3...2...1...and the belt started moving, I think. When she said it would start out slow, she wasn't kidding. If it had been moving any slower, it would have been going backwards. So I hit the button until I had a comfortable pace going. A warm up pace.
The manager leaned on the treadmill next to mine and we carried on a conversation about everything from the weather to where we were both from. She stayed with me until I had completed 1 mile. Then I took a short break and did another mile. She left me to go do whatever managers do.
By now I was feeling pretty good about myself. As I started the second mile I watched the TV looked at the other people in the center, and then it happened! I looked in the mirror. I was in such shock at I thought I was going to fall off the treadmill. I really avoid looking at myself in the mirror. I know I won't like the way I look, so I only look at what I have to look at, like my face! Anything beyond that would be horrifying, or so I thought......And, I was right. Seeing yourself, the entire 255 pounds of yourself, in a full length mirror bouncing, yes, BOUNCING along on a treadmill is not a pretty sight. Not at all.
But it was too late to turn back now. Everyone had seen me, looked at me and had been looking at me for the past 45 minutes. You would have to be blind not to have seen me, I was wearing black workout pants with double white stripe down the outside of the legs and a HOT PINK tank top with my sky blue sports bra peaking out. I thought I looked pretty good.
Now that I've seen myself and see what others see, I am so upset. I am upset with how far I have let myself go. I am upset that I weigh 255 pounds and can hardly move some mornings. I always said the camera made me look fat, now I know, it really wasn't the camera, I really am fat. And right now I really don't like myself.
Now that I've had a chance to vent and think about this, I have decided to become a poster child for......well, for whoever wants me to be their poster child. You see, my goal is to weigh 143 pounds and be fit and health in about a year. I am going to get a picture of me before, in my black pants and hot pink tank top and of course there will be an after picture of me in black and hot pink again. I'm sure I'll be able to find something to fit me in those colors.
I can't even imaging what size I will be, right now I wear a 3X, Ihave no idea what my real size is because I refuse to buy clothes that actually have sizes on them. I read the blogs and posts of others here on SP and they say they are now in a size 4 or 6 or 8 or some other single digit size and all I can do is sigh. I will get there someday.
Someday, I will post that I am a single digit size and I hope to encourage others with my stories as others have encouraged me with theirs. I know you are real people, so am I. I know you had good days and bad days, and so will I. I know you wanted what you have now MORE than you wanted what you had then. It's your strength, struggles, ups and downs that keep me going, just as it may have been others struggles, ups and downs that kept you going.
I will get what I want, no matter how long it takes.
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Almost, actually I get a free week to see if I like it, I'm sure I will. It was clean the staff was helpful and at around 10am, there was nobody there. I figure if I can be there everyday M-F around 10am then I can have the whole place to myself, equipment, staff, TVs, ect. This will give me and my trainer QUALITY time together. Believe me, I really am going to need time with a trainer. I know sing weights and other equipment has to be done right so that you don't hurt yourself, so training is a good thing. Plus my husband calls me stumbelina since I could get hurt walking across a rubber lawn. But he still loves me.
Well, we'll see how this goes and I'll keep you updated.
Monday, August 01, 2011
Well, I survived the first week. I kept my calories in check for the most part and did my cardio everyday M-F. Didn't do any strength training though.
Today I have done my 30 minute cardio and also did my recommended strength training. Later today I will add another 30 minute cardio which is actually a walking cardio plus I'm hoping to load up 2 of the dogs to take for a hike.
Hubby said we could go if he wasn't too tired when he got home. He is a professional arborist, (a tree doctor) so his work is hot and heavy at times. It's too hard to walk the dogs around the neighborhood, too many other people walking dogs too. But where we take the dogs to hike is only 5 minutes from the house and it's shady and cooler than walking on the asphalt anyhow. It's up an old mountain road that goes back to an old Revolutionary War cemetery. It's really pretty back there, at one time there was a homestead there and my husbands grandfather helped plant apple trees there. That was close to 75 years ago as far as we can figure.
The challenge of getting there is that it's all uphill from where we will park. This will be my first attempt at this hike. The grade isn't all that steep, but when you're out of shape, it doesn't matter what the grade is.
Ya know, after really working at my SP program for a week, I really do feel better. I feel more motivated, I'm beginning to look at setting more goals, like hiking and riding a bicycle, which I haven't done since I was in Jr. high many, many years ago. but I'm willing to do it again.
I'm happy with myself today and I feel great. I know I will have good days and bad days, and that's okay. I'll take each day as it comes and deal with it. But for today I AM HAPPY!!!!
I have to go work in my garden, so have a great day.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Am I upset???? Not really, better to lose 4/10 than to gain 4/10. I do have to say I was a little disappointed though. I worked so hard this week..guess I have to work harder next week. This week I walked 1mile a day with Leslie, next week I will do 2 one mile sessions a day.
I think one of the reasons that I didn't lose much is because I was one of those who always thought that if I starved myself, I would lose weight. Now on my SP plan I have to eat between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. I'm used to eating around 900. My body thinks it needs to store the extra calories and until I get my metabolism up, I really don't expect to lose much weight...but it WILL happen.
I'm keeping track of my nutrition this weekend, but not working out, I need a break plus I have a lot to do. Saturdays are for getting the shopping for the week done and spending time with hubby.
Well, gotta go for now, take care and have a good weekend.
Friday, July 29, 2011
I made it through the week and didn't die, although the first few days of doing a 22 minute walking the pounds off video with Leslie Sansone made me feel like I was going to. Power walking and adding extra aerobic exercises is a lot of work!
I'm learning how to eat, how much to eat, when to eat, and what to eat. I think I am making better choices.
I was prompted to move up to step 2, but chose to stay at step 1. I haven't started my strength training yet, so don't feel like I should advance to step 2.
I am drinking at least 8 glasses of water a day, and usually 10 or more.
I feel like I am on my way, but I know now it will be a long hard journey. I am looking forward to making just my 10 pound goal. Once I reach that I will set another goal, and continue until I make 145 pounds.
SparkPeople has given me the courage to do this and without the support of the people here I know I could never make my dream a reality, believe me...I've already tried before. fad diets, fast diets, drug diets, you name it diets. They just don't work. Here at SP I am learning how to change my lifestyle, not just my eating habits. No food is off limits, only limits on how much of that food you should eat.
If I can figure out how to post pictures I will post a picture of myself so that in a year or so, I can post another picture of the new me. Maybe I'll make a picture video too.
Oh well, that's enough babble for today. I hope all of you have a terrific weekend,
and for those of you in bad weather zones, keep safe.
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