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Quick entry...late AGAIN!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I just wanted to write a quick note to acknowledge all the support I've gotten from my Spark Friends!!!! More than I got at work, that's for sure! It's a joy to check my email and see the note that I've got a comment on my blog or I have a private message. It's been so incredibly helpful! I hope I can return the favor sometime!


Back in the groove...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Okay...my rash (eczema) is under control, the kids have moved onto their campuses, the funeral is over and I'm back to work...and I'm back to tracking my food...my yoga class starts up next week and I've arranged to take off the after school programs on Tuesday so that won't be a problem. I'm getting back into the groove of things.

Work still stinks. But I can handle it. And I know there's an end in sight...even if it's not until June. I can get through this...I don't have to absorb all the negative energy being sent my way and I won't. I'm there for the students and I can make a difference with them.

Okay...enough of my mantra...lunch break is over...time to get back in there and play a good, clean game!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

METALBABE 1/23/2008 12:59AM

    Keep up that amazing attitude! I hope you can find some time in the coming week to really pamper yourself, too. You have been through a lot in the past month or so, and you need to be gentle with yourself. Try treating yourself like you would any good friend who has been through the same ordeal! Cheers.

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PEONYQUEEN 1/22/2008 1:07PM

    Such a bright, positive outlook! I think it always feels great to be able to get back to your normal life. Like slipping on your favorite slippers.

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It's been a while...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I've been very busy the last two weeks. Between work and taking care of Gram, I've not had time to do or think of much else.

Gram passed away very peacefully yesterday morning at 5 AM. She hung in there and waited until the 15th...Grandpa's birthday. (He passed over in 1996.) It was quiet, peaceful, pain-free and very gentle.

I'm filled with a quiet and peace and a need to write about this. Once things settle down a bit (after the funeral), I think I need to write about it. She took my mother and me on a journey a couple days before she passed...it needs recording. Not today, though. I'm oh so tired. I need a 'down' day.

My eating has been quite bizarre...staying at Gram's, where they all eat meat all the time...some meals consisted only of meat...I had to eat what I could. Usually it was a peanutbutter sandwich. (I used to love them...I'm pretty sick of them now!) But after this week, I'm back on a regular, healthy diet of balanced, good foods...no more white bread and peter pan peanutbutter!

Kate moved out on Sunday and Devon goes this weekend. How much transition can a person take?! I developed a rash that I thought was "Ringworm" and I was horrified. It turns out it's Ecsema (spelling?), which can be brought on with stress...hmmm...stress?! Yes, that fits here! Bad work situation, grandmother dying, children both moving out...yup...that must be what it is!

I've managed not to gain weight during all this...not sure exactly how, since I've not exercised (other than lifting on Gram...not hardly exercise) or eaten well in weeks now.

Okay...the amazing news and then I'll close...at Kate's first birthday party, my little dish that I kept my rings in, over the kitchen sink, just disapppeared, with all my rings in it...my engagement and wedding rings included. I have a light-fingered cousin I've always thought took it, but of course couldn't prove it. Well, when I was looking for Grandma's favorite cross to give to the funeral home, I came across an engagement ring...when I picked it up, low and behold, it was my engagement ring!!!!

Here's where I have to mention said cousin LIVED with Gram at the time of the theft...don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about Gram!

Anyway, I asked my uncle about it and he said he found the ring in the house a few years ago and they stuck it in her jewelry box for safe keeping. I NEVER thought I'd see it again! And...it fits!!!! Had I found it a couple years ago, it certainly wouldn't have fit. But I'm wearing it now...and I'm so happy to have it back all these years later! Cool, huh?

I'm cold and tired and I think I'm going to go try to sleep...haven't done a lot of that in the last two weeks, either.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MILAYA 1/17/2008 12:17PM

    I'm so sorry about your gram. I'm happy she went peacefully. She sounded like a great lady. Please try to take care of yourself. It's been a very stressful time and you need your rest.

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METALBABE 1/16/2008 11:18AM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your gram, too. I know what a mix of emotions comes with a loved one's passing after hospice for some time (and especially those last couple of days, when there is usually a "rallying"), and I want to encourage you to really allow yourself to FEEL all of them. Can you take a couple of days off of work?

I hope you know that, even with your children now out of the house, you are not alone - we are all right here for you. Hang in there!

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PEONYQUEEN 1/16/2008 10:05AM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Gram. I am glad it was peaceful though and that you had so much time to get to know her. I'm sure you must have been thrilled to find your ring again. Like a gift from the vacuum of all lost things.

I'll be thinking of you.

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Re-entry into the world...

Monday, January 07, 2008

Okay, today is the first day back to work since Christmas break/extended time off to care for Gram...I'm back to taking my supplements regularly, tracking my food, and feeling more inspired and organized to do this right.

My first mini goal is to get through January with regular food tracking again...I did so much better when I tracked EVERYTHING that went into my mouth.

I'd like to join the YMCA again...I think we'll do a monthly membership, since we only seem to use it during the winter months. It costs more monthly, but overall would be less expensive, since we'd only be paying for a few months a year.

Have to get to work...more next time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PEONYQUEEN 1/8/2008 1:41PM

    I know what you mean, I got away from tracking everything during the holiday season and I do better when I track it all. I think I feel more accountable to myself. Anyway, I'll be checking in with you now that we're both getting back to normal life again!

Good luck!

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METALBABE 1/7/2008 10:23AM

    I feel for you - I go back to work today, too. You have clear goals for what you want to achieve this month, and I think that's great. Hang in there!

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Quick entry...

Saturday, January 05, 2008

So Gram's been home for a while now...she's spending more and more time sleeping and less time awake and coherent. She's comfortable, which is most important. We're all running ourselves a bit ragged, and therefore, I caught a nasty bug, which has kept me away for three days. I'm hoping to be well enough tomorrow to get back on the schedule for caring for her.

The only good thing about being sick is that I've lost the holiday weight I'd put on...and am 4/10 of a pound less than I weighed before the holiday gain. Not the healthiest way to lose it, but it's gone and that's good.

Tea's ready...have to go...more when I'm feeling better and have more time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

METALBABE 1/6/2008 2:27PM

    Hope you had a great holiday, and that you are feeling better soon. I know how hard it is to take care of yourself when you are a caregiver to others. You are doing great!

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