Scary Scary!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

This past week, I've stopped putting in EXACTLY what I'm eating. I'm hoping that I can simply continue to maintain the weight I am at using all that I've learned on this great site.

I'm suprised at how SCARED this made me feel. I could feel myself wanting to snack and snack and snack because I didn't have to keep track of it. Shame on me! So, I made myself keep track of what I'd eaten all day one of the days, and it really helped me get back on track.

One thing I really need to work on is simply keeping up with working out. My students have been totally pissing me off lately, and I'm feeling VERY unmotivated to get offa my butt and working out. And heck, I know that I need it! I feel SO much better after I work out. Yet, I feel so ticked off that I don't want to do a darn thing.

Students question me. "Why did you write her up?? Why did you grade me this way?? Why are you getting on my case??? YOU need to calm down." Yes, these are some things that have been barked at me, and that just aggrivates me. Greatly. I didn't go to college for 6 years to put up with snotty teenagers who think they know WAY more than I'll ever know.
Looking back, I know that I was a snot when I was their age. But hell, that doesn't mean I'm feeling calm and accepting for their attitudes.

I'm not calm when it comes to this. I am not accepting of these behaviors.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LFLYTHE 2/11/2007 8:46PM

Good for you. I was a science teacher for 2 years but really hated it. Now I am a water treatment operator, earning as much as I did as a teacher (plus if I work 1 hour over, I get paid overtime), don't have students, parents or administrators telling me I am not doing things the way they think I should, and just generally am a happier person. Hope you start to feel better soon. I know how difficult it can be to handle teenagers (9th graders). Linda Report Inappropriate Comment

Keep Going. Keep Going. Keep Going.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself. Once I saw the scale had jumped up to 170 last week, I was feeling grumpy and very discouraged.

I know I've already written about this. It's still on my mind.

I get on the scale this week, and it says I've lost 1.5 pounds. Back on my way. Honestly, 168 is the smallest numbers I've seen on a scale in years. Will I now get discouraged Every Time the scale shows a HIGHER number than it did last week?!? If so, that is simply depressing and leads me to want to just Give Up. I know this isn't the healthy way to react, and I need to keep reminding myself about all of the positive steps I've made.

Perhaps I'll make myself a simply collage poster that will emphasize all of the great work I've done. Then I can get a cheap frame to put it in and display it in a place where I'll see if Every Day.

Keeping my mind and self in a positive state has always been the key to success for me. Negative thinking leads to negative decisions. Each time I start to think "Why the heck did you eat THAT", or "Screwed it up again, Donna!" I need to battle against those thoughts with positive thoughts.

Example:

Thought = Why the heck did you eat THAT?!?
Answer = It looked good, so I ate it. One little goof up after months and months of "YAY!" moments will not kill me.

Thought = Screwed up again, Donna!
Answer = Whoops. What do you tell your students when they goof up on a project? Do you tell them to simply QUIT and Never do anything to fix it...?!? No, you don't. You smile, offer some small bits of helpful hints, then move on with your day.

Listen to what I say to my students. Listen to what I say to my students.

Listen and BELIEVE.

I can do this. When it feels tough and discouraging, I can STILL do this.

I will listen. I will believe.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYFITANNE 1/21/2007 9:57AM

I've had all those thoughts, sister. What strikes me today is focus - on the positive, on all your accomplishments, on what you've learned, on what you do every day. Isn't it amazing how we can lose focus on what we've done (like you losing 40 pounds!!!) and instead only zero in on what we feel isn't going right? I guess that's why they talk about not being able to see the forest for the trees, or however that saying goes. You've done and continue to do fantastic. You are more than a scale number anyway. :) Report Inappropriate Comment

Whoopsie!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Ugh. Once I had entered all that I'd eaten into the system, I was sad to see that I'd gone over in calories AND carbohydrates. I shared my sadness with my husband, and he gave me a hug, smiled big and said "Over your numbers today, but I bet you won't be tomorrow!"

His reaction helped me out in many ways. Instead of going back to the lifesaver gummies and finishing the whole bag, I dove into my strength training for the day, and finished the evening off with some unscheduled cardio. So, even though my food choices today SUCKED, at least my reaction to these choices was a healthy one.

I got an eliptical trainer for Christmas, and a shiatzu (sp?) back massager that can be put on any chair. I'm so thankful for the amazing people I have in my life. My hope is that what I gave them showed my thankfulness for them!

I will continue to do my best around here and work towards continuing to Spread The Spark.

After reading the wonderful articles here focused on setting New Year's resolutions, I will definitely be thinking more deeply about my goals for the coming year...

  

WOW! Another "What the...?!?"

Saturday, December 23, 2006

So, I get on the scale this morning as Saturdays are my "official" weigh-in days. I'll sometimes weigh myself more than that throughout the week, but I figure the number on Saturday is the official #. I get on the scale this morning, and it say 168.5...?!? Given that my goal is 170, this is a welcome surprise!!

I still can't believe I'm doing so well, but I wanted to post this now so I can go back and read it when I feel like "There is NO way I'm going to succeed at this... :("

I CAN do this, even a couple of days before Christmas. I'll just continue with my positive "keep it up, Donna! You can do it, Donna!" thoughts, and let those guide me through my vacation from teaching.

I'll also continue with my addition of another cardio-workout day in my week. I can tell that is helping me out a LOT more than expected.

YAY!!

  

"What the...?!?"

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Yes, that was my reaction this morning when I stepped on the scale. It was the same "What The??" I have every time I step on and it says a LOT lower than I was expecting.

(Yes, I realize this may sound a bit crazy, but hey - I never claimed to be sane. :))

So, when I stepped on the scale, it read "169.5" That would be TOO much weight lost, I would think. I know that last week was my dreaded "time of the month", but it shouldn't count for 5 pounds, right...? So, I stepped off, did the regular morning routine - brush my teeth, but on a few clothes, and stepped on again. It now read 171.5 That number, though 3 pounds less than last week, was a number I felt a lot more comfortable with.

Here, I had just altered my goal for 170 to be for January 30th instead of December 30th, and now the numbers are looking like I may reach it by the 30th of December...? Ohwell, the altering I made in the date has made a big difference in how I'm feeling about myself. That was the point - when I'm not beating myself up so much, I start to see a heckuva lot more progress.

I also added another day of cardio - I now do cardio workouts on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Perhaps just adding Saturday was the perfect decision. I worked out last night, and as always, felt MUCH better afterwards - I slept a lot better as well.

Ahhhhhh. I'm feeling good today. I'm feeling positive and happy. Perhaps I'll go ahead and do some cardio today to celebrate. That, and I can't wait to take a nap! :) I'm a big fan of naps. :)