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Forgive me please.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

The title is directed to me - I haven't been posting many blogs lately, and I'm just wanting myself to forgive me for this.

My doctor now believes I am pre-diabetic. My grandma was diabetic, so I know it is in my blood line. I won't want to be diabetic, but DUH - who does?!? I have a second blood test on Monday - one that I need to fast for. That's no problem for me. What WILL be a problem for me is to go down on the breads I eat. I do not consider myself a vegetarian (even though I do not eat meat), I consider myself to be a BREADitarian. That will be a struggle to work through.
My doctor did remind me that bread and other carbs are often loaded with sugar. I hope I will be okay. I truly hope I will be okay and get through this.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNA--BANANA 8/3/2011 6:32AM

    Keep me updated, sister. I'm praying it all comes out O.K. I had ONE test that showed possible pre-diabetes, but all since then still have me in the normal range.

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ZOOMTOWN04 8/2/2011 10:57PM

    There are breads that are not too fatten,like weigh watcher bread,breads low in calorie are just as good.My son is diabetic,he was diagnosed at age twelve...that was shocking.But we worked at it,he is now fourty married with children.

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NERVOUSWRECKIAM 8/2/2011 10:28PM

    emoticon

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I know I should be happy and festive, but

Thursday, December 23, 2010

doing so while living with scrooges is NOT easy. My step-son is downstairs right now playing his guitar. He chose to not go Christmas shopping with his dad - he has plans to help out friends this afternoon with moving. Yes, he has plans. Are they selfish...? I know I think they are, but I'm sure he sees it differently.

As the kids get older, they seem to care less and less about holiday cheer and more about how expensive their presents will be. New top-of-the-line knives for one (Seeing as ONE of these knives can cost about $250-$300 dollars, I think not). Very fancy new guitar for the other (costing around $1400-$2000). Really?? We already pay the mortgage, utilities, their school fees and clothes, and more!
Am I just feeling broke? Honestly, not really. Working with teenagers every day of the week shows me how some just don't seem to give a fig about others older than them.
Am I just taking my frustration with my students out on our two kids? I hate to admit it, but I'm sure that's part of it.

What I really want are some holiday Good Vibes right now. My husband is an amazing man that hates to do anything decorative for the holidays. So I choose to decorate as much as I can - happy to have help from him while I do this. Right now he's out doing some Christmas shopping - he says he's going to get supplies to make cookies to decorate. That'll be a blast! So I see I've got them. I've got the Good Vibes around me, I just need to focus on that and not take teenager angst personally.

I'm sure I was just as bad if not more so when I was a teenager. And lookie, I survived. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNUH 12/23/2010 3:21PM

    The comments left by both of you are wonderful! (Not to mention very appreciated!!)

We're not going to kick the teenagers out because I agree - that'd be terrible for everyone. I love the idea of simply enjoying one on one time with my awesome hubby. He's definitely worth it - thank you for that suggestion, GOETZC2!

And I LOVE the idea of decorating cookies while we're there, Anne! I've already shared that idea with Levi, and his smile was great.

Woo Hoo! Thank you guys AGAIN!!

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ANNA--BANANA 12/23/2010 2:27PM

    We will help with the Christmas Spirit - that's one of the great blessings of having a 4 year old! Everything is magical!

I don't think I worried about all mom did for us when I was a teenager, either. I just wanted more more more because we didn't seem to have much. I'm sorry it's wearing off on you, though. Your family is SUPER EXCITED to see you soon, so I hope that will help. I can make Christmas cookies to frost while you're here, if that is a tradition that is important to you, sister. Just let me know!



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GOETZC2 12/23/2010 1:42PM

    A note from a recently revived "teenager" LOL!

When in highschool I was the exact same way. Teen's have a hard time thinking about family, and a very easy time thinking about friends. There comes a time when your family isn't cool but your friends are. This is a short phase though, for most. My reality check was when I moved out way too young and realized the value of money.

My suggestion? No, don't kick them out, that just makes things worse. If they're the feeler type, calmly tell them how you feel or express it in ways that put them in your/your hubby's situation, how would they feel? Or: make the holidays fun for them too. Ask them to invite some (not a ton) friends over for a Christmas `party`, pick up some kiddy toys or games for them for gifts to remind them what things were like when they were younger, have family movie night with them... who knows. Make it low key, but fun stuff to do together. Or just ask what they would be up for doing as a family. Don`t be surprised if the ideas are going to cost a few bucks though...

Worst case, enjoy some one on one time with the hubby and show them that you can have fun without them... Jealousy eventually kicks in and they might want to join! Either way, don`t let anyone else get you down! It`s Christmas! It only comes once a year.

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I am always motivated to blog after I work out.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Always!

I think it's because I feel good about myself and how I am treating myself. Yay, me! Worked out on our elliptical machine - the sweat always feel so great. Honestly, I did not want to work out - feeling tired and worn out and mopey and blah blah blah. Yes, I was thinking of ways to avoid it. But did I? NO! I didn't because I am worth it.

I am worth it.

I believe I'm mostly done with my Christmas shopping. I filled up my Amazon wish list to help others out if they were interested. And I found kilns for sale in this area - used, but still looking great. I passed this on to my husband, and I honestly don't think he'll work on getting me one - they're too expensive! But hey, I thought the same thing when I asked for a potter's wheel... "Oh no, he won't get me that! It is way too expensive." And he got me one. Surprised the heck out of me that's for sure!

As I look back on my food entries, I continue to struggle with getting enough protein in my diet. I don't eat meat because the only kind of meat I ever liked were processed yucky meats. So I need to work on new items I can add to my food intake. I like nuts and beans, but they're not always enough for me.

I continue to work towards taking better care of myself. I do so because I want to show myself love and support. Because I am worth it! emoticon

  


Dear Donna,

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

I am sorry. I am so sorry for not taking care of you better. You were doing so well for so long - working out consistently with both cardio work outs and strength training. I was so proud of you. I smiled a lot more then.

And then you stopped.

You stopped keeping track of the food you are eating on this site. Even worse than that, you stop keeping track of working out like you told yourself you would.

I am so sorry I did this to myself. I truly am. I figured out that the chronic mono junk was simply a reaction to stress, not eating well and not working out. It was a reaction that I have had in the past and should have known better. It was a reaction that hurt my husband. It was wrong of me.

I am so sorry. I am so sorry I am doing this to myself. Thankfully, my husband let me know that he hates seeing me so lethargic and not taking care of myself. It helped me to see that I hate it as well. Makes me want to cry.

I worked out today for the first time in over a month. The sweat is a great reminder to me, really. It reminds me that I am doing a great job taking care of myself when I feel the sweat. I am taking care of myself. This is me showing myself love. I love taking care of myself.

So I will work through this sorrow and show myself how worthy I am. I am worth taking care of. I am worth showing love to. I am worth it. I am worth it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNA--BANANA 12/7/2010 9:00PM

    *hugs*

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Chronic Mono Sucks!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Yep, I've got chronic mono. It's making me tired and dazed throughout the day and it's tough on me. I haven't been eating well and I'm rarely able to "Ready, Set... MOVE!" like I want to. Just got done on the elliptical tonight so I feel good about that - I'm impressed I could do that, especially considering how much I wanted to simply plop into bed and sleep.

So I guess that is taking care of myself. I need to go back and keep track of all I eat and ensure that I am getting enough protein. Since I don't eat meat, that can be tough on me. I also need to make sure I'm eating enough fat - I guess the mega "No Fat! Fat is BAD" craze has gotten me (I buy "treats" that are low in fat and HIGH in carbs). Shame on me!

Damn this frickin' Chronic Mono. It creeps up when I'm not taking care of myself and not getting enough vitamin D. It's actually a blessing in disguise - doesn't let me just get lazy and not take care of myself. Ha! I love finding the positive amongst a crappy situation.

I'm gonna simply relax, read the rest of my book and go to bed early. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNA--BANANA 10/19/2010 10:27PM

    Oh, Donna, I'm so sorry. The doctors are still sure it's chronic mono, and not something else? (Chronic fatigue, anemia, etc?) How does it normally resolve - just through time and sleep? I assume you are taking some vitamin supplements to help up the vitamin D and maybe even iron in your system? And are not pregnant? (How's that for throwing something out in a public blog - just for you to think about, NOT to answer to anyone, including me!)

I hope you feel better soon. I feel like I'm doing most everything right in terms of food and exercise, but the scale is not moving and in fact is slightly up. So I'm mad at it right now.

I do hope you feel better soon. emoticon emoticon

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