Wednesday, July 31, 2013
That has become my "cause" now. I keep pushing everyone to drive safe. Call for a ride. Stay. Whatever you must do, just do not drive drunk. But as I was thinking it over. I realized that most of the time, the designated driver doesn't have the keys until its time to go. So, why not give the DD your keys before you even have one drop of anything to drink? That would take away that old argument where you say your not drunk, when it is obvious to everyone around you that you are. My son might still be alive today if he had given his keys to his DD at the beginning of the night. Maybe not, but he sure would have had a lot better odds on making it home safe that night.
So, let it be a lesson to everyone, give your keys to your DD before you even begin. And DD's, don't desert the people who have entrusted you to take care of them. Seriously. Keep an eye on them. You are the one making the sober choices, don't leave them to go do your own thing. Don't desert them because something that sounds more fun comes along. It just might cost that person their life. Can you live with the guilt of knowing that?? Think it thought bevore you bail out on someone.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
I recently received a card from you and MADD after the death of our son. I have a question regarding victims. Who is included in the category victim? I found out my son was drunk when he had his accident. I’m unsure where this leaves our family. Are we in fact victims? Or where do we stand? A little history on our son. He was arrested for dui a couple of years ago. He attended all of the usual court appointed classes and programs. He thought he was invincible. He walked away from a couple of previous accidents with barely a scrape. Nobody had ever been injured (thankfully). Countless times I had begged him to straighten up before he hurt or killed someone or himself. Then he had really started to turn his life around. He had cut back on the “partying”. He was working out, losing weight, dieting. BUT, in doing so, he was running on “empty”. He was a gamer, so he’d be up late during the nights gaming. Then he would have to get up early for work. So living on little fuel, little sleep, and energy drinks. He has one (possibly two, pending paternity confirmation) young children. He left behind a brother, a sister, a son, a daughter, and everyone else that loved him. The night of his death, he had a designated driver lined up. He had told his driver that he wanted to leave when he was finished with is drink. His driver thought he had time to go get high with his girlfriend, when they came back, Stephen had already left. According to text messages, my son thought that his driver abandoned him at the street dance. On his way home, he was reported to have been driving in the wrong lane at one point. He appeared to have passed out with cruise control on, left the road, traveled through the ditch until he hit an embankment, rolling his car multiple times until it came to a stop in a cornfield. According to reports, his car caught on fire. He had to be identified with dental records.
So, I ask, who is the victim? Us? Him? His brother and sister? His children?
We all think it would never happen to us. Now my life will never be the same.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Having a few issues, you could say. The crap just keeps piling on. It's not enough to lose my son, he left loose ends every where, I probably have a granddaughter I've never met, finances are awful. Everyone seems to want something from him. And today we found out his life insurance lapsed and is not in effect any longer. I miss him so damn much. I'm doing my best, and my best just doesn't seem to be good enough.
I edited this post, I probably shared "too much" the first time.
Bottom line is I miss my son so much. I would do anything to have him back - unfortunately this is my reality now.
Friday, July 05, 2013
I had a lot of support the week between my sons death and the funeral. Then everyone left. They went back to their lives. I'm grateful my parents stayed an extra day. But all this week, we have been trying to figure out how to wrap our minds around what all has happened. Today we planted two of the trees we were given as memorials. I'm back at work. I'd really rather take more time off, but there really is nothing to be gained by doing that. So here I am. I stopped by Stephen's house on my way to work. Little by little, there is less and less of him there. It's been two weeks today since he passed away. One day at a time might be cliche, but it is how I am coping.
I have not been on the scale since right after the accident. I'm not sure if I even care what it says right now.
Monday, June 24, 2013
York Co. identifies driver in fiery crash, says speed was factor
By PETER SALTER / Lincoln Journal Star
The Bradshaw Fire Department took the call at 12:01 a.m. Saturday: A motorist reporting a cornfield in flames, or maybe an irrigation pump.
Minutes later, a second driver called 911 with more information.
“And that’s when they advised it was a vehicle fire, and a person trapped in it,” Fire Chief Todd Hellerich said.
The fire burned so hot that York County authorities would have to use dental records and a partial vehicle identification number to identify the 24-year-old York man killed late Friday in the crash along a flat, straight stretch of U.S. 34.
Stephen C. Opfer was alone in a 1997 Buick, headed east, when his car left the road and rolled into a field, York County Sheriff’s Lt. Paul Vrbka said Monday.
“It sounded like they couldn’t identify the vehicle. It was so burned they just knew it was a full-sized motor vehicle. The driver -- from reading the reports, the driver’s body was burned so badly it was hard to identify,” Vrbka said.
Opfer was believed to have been in Aurora before the crash late Friday just inside the York County line, Vrbka said. And he likely was speeding, based on the absence of skid marks and where the car ended up.
Investigators couldn’t say whether Opfer had been drinking; the fire would have destroyed any physical evidence.
Firefighters had little chance of saving him. “The vehicle was fully engulfed, and it had been burning very hot for several minutes before we got there,” Hellerich said.
Late-night traffic is light on that stretch of highway, and the fire wouldn’t have been easily visible from the road, he said.
Investigators eventually were able to read part of the vehicle’s identification number, check state records and identify Opfer as its owner. Dental records confirmed he was the driver.
Opfer had a young son, worked at a Bradshaw truck equipment company and enjoyed riding ATVs, according to his obituary. Services will be at 2 p.m. Friday at Zion Lutheran Church in Hampton.
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