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DAWNFIRE72's Recent Blog Entries

A Little "Racing Tomato" (Let's Play Ketchup)

Saturday, July 05, 2014

As you can see I have made a few changes to my page. I have made it visible to those on my SP Friends list only and I have changed my background to an anime version of my favourite video game hero Link.

I have finally done my weigh in and while I am not happy with the results I am happy that the damage isn't worse than it is. I am currently at 5.3 pounds above my goal weight but still just barely over the top of my maintenance range (I wanted to stay at 120 or under, had been hovering around 115-117 before). I think a part of the reason may have been not drinking enough water combined with some poor food choices. I also noticed that my last weigh in was in February 2014 and without at least a monthly check in I got lax on my routine.

With summer fast approaching it will be easier to eat more fruits and veggies as it is too hot to eat anything heavy and after going to the amusement park with the family on Canada Day (July 1) I found hot weather + heavy/greasy food = upset tummy.

Not sure if I mentioned it on my last post but at my last visit to my gastroenterologist I was told that I only needed to go back to him if I noticed any changes in my general digestive heath. I am also down to taking my medications only 2 to 3 times a week instead of daily. After much discussion he told me that it is very likely that the stress of my old job was causing a lot of the ulcer and GERD symptoms which in the past 3 months have settled and only flare up when I eat poorly or eat stuff that is too spicy.

I am trying to remain active here but am finding it difficult with limited time between 2 jobs but I am finding more enjoyment lately and hope that things continue on the up swing.

Not the most flattering picture of me but taken when we got home from the football game for our anniversary. Decided to take the hubby and girls to the game as his gift, he also got a personalized jersey.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/9/2014 1:42PM

    Happy Anniversary! Sounds like you are doing better overall. I'm so pleased to hear that you are taking less meds. Fantastic! I also wish your life continues on the upswing.

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TWEETYKC00 7/6/2014 10:55AM

    Happy anniversary! I hope things can look up for you. Hugs.

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/5/2014 8:47PM

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! Sounds like you had a good time!!!
Just remember to do the best you can each day. That's all you can do!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

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PRUPLEBEAR 7/5/2014 4:02PM

    DORK on!

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ZRIE014 7/5/2014 1:14AM

  great. have a good day. emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 7/5/2014 12:47AM

  emoticon

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Feeling Like a Slacker

Friday, June 06, 2014

Right now I have not checked my weight, tracked my food or tracked my exercise. My clothes aren't tight yet but then again most of my clothes were too big anyhow because let's face it I am too cheap to go out and buy new clothes. I work in a place where what I wear really doesn't matter (I detail cars for a living). I go to work wearing HUGE T-shirts and jeans along with my lovely 3 lbs a piece safety shoes (I opted for "cute" steel toes shoes rather than boots). I no longer go for my lunch time walks, but 5 days a week I do get an average of 15,000 steps. On the weekends I sit for about 20 hours over 2 days doing my other job and I just feel like there is no time for me anymore.

I have taken to bringing a book or a knitting project with me to work on during my lunch break, which lately has contained way more fast food and pop than good healthy stuff. I have no one to blame but myself. I am finding it hard to want to eat anymore baby carrots and I can only eat so much celery but the other veggies I like are too pricey right now and I am also trying to buy only Canadian grown fruit and veg which limits what is available. I did break this rule and bought some strawberries that came from California and I thought they tasted bland.

I am also finding it difficult to function as I am up at 3:30 AM to get hubby to work by 4:45 (20 minute commute and need breakfast before we leave), then I go to my work place and sleep for 2 hours in the car (can't afford a 2nd one right now and we live to far away to come home after taking him to work). My work schedule has changed a bit and I now work 8 to 5-5:30 which is better than it was for the previous 9 years at my old employer (7-7:30 start time and not leaving until 5:45-6:30). I do work another part time job in the evenings from home.

I know what needs to happen and part of it would be getting a second vehicle on the road but that just seems so wasteful to me when hubby and I have to be in similar locations, unfortunately at very dissimilar times. I know things could be worse, hubby and I are both employed we will be watching our oldest daughter graduate from her trades program next week and our youngest will be learning to drive this summer. There is so much to be thankful for but right now all I can see is the deep dark hole I have dug myself into and I don't know how to get back out.

My hubby is very supportive and we talk a lot about where we want to be but just don't know how to get there.

I will end on a very positive note that my new job (started at an auto body repair shop as a production assistant 2 months ago) is going VERY well. I am asked my opinion, it is heard and I get a "thank you for your hard work today" that is actually sincere. It is not all positive feedback that I get but anything "negative" is done constructively and with helpful tips on how to do it better next time. Today we put out 8 cars that had to be detailed inside and out and things were good. I am enjoying my job again and actually look forward to going to work now, it is no longer a chore to be endured. I do a lot of lifting and moving but it is not the same as actually working out (today I was moving bumpers, fenders and helped to move a few larger items like doors and side panels as well, it is a lot of fun), which I think is the crux of my problems above.

This got really long and I thank you all if you made it this far. It seems I complain a lot but this is cheaper than therapy emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 6/9/2014 7:48PM

    First **HUGS**
Second... don't be so hard on yourself. You are adjusting to a new lifestyle. One with a shared car and less sleep. It takes time to adjust to the new situation. Now you are thinking about what you truly want, it seems the adjustment period is coming to an end.

Perhaps you could change your routine a bit and find a park, or gym (low cost of course) and do some exercise in the between time or go for a walk before work. I've found that exercising in the morning before work really works for me.

Glad to hear you are enjoying the new job! With your daughter learning to drive it might be time to get that second car. 3 people with 1 car is tough. I've been there done that with the one car for the family. It is tough and limits your choices significantly. I hope your budget will soon allow for one.

**HUGS**

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TWEETYKC00 6/9/2014 7:59AM

    Sending a major hug your way!

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PRUPLEBEAR 6/8/2014 10:16AM

    This is a lot cheaper than therapy!!! Glad the new job is going so well!!! Maybe you could sleep in your car for an hour and half and then walk for 30 mins! Might make you feel a little better. HUGS

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MICHELLENRGZED 6/7/2014 5:20PM

    emoticon

No, you weren't complaining. You were just unloading, as Yvonne-M said. You needed to unburden yourself, &, as you said, it's cheaper to share here than to go to therapy. Also, well said, as GrammieOfTwo said.

I related to this blog. I've been without a car a few times in my life, & I know what it is to have to share one as well. Congratulations on your new job, & I hope that leads to more opportunities for you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Yes, focussing on our blessings is very important & it does help, but sometimes it can be super hard to see them - oh, I can relate!

I hope that you're able to get out of your dark spot soon, & hopefully sharing with us here helped with that.

I hope you're enjoying your weekend!!

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YVONNE-M 6/6/2014 11:31PM

    You just unloaded a bunch of baggage that has been weighing you down....that's not called complaining here my friend! You know what you are doing and have been truthful and accountable. That in itself is a WIN! I challenge you to track every bite tomorrow. It's matters not what you eat or drink either, just track it and you will see where you need to alter your approach. Just one day........you can do it! emoticon

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GRAMMIEOFTWO 6/6/2014 10:56PM

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Forgotten Anniversary

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

I have been so busy and the weather is finally getting nice that I haven't been on the computer much except to work in the evenings. That said I finally checked my emails and was amazed at all the goodies and posts to my SP page about having maintained my weight for 4 years. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was struggling to lose the weight. Now it is second nature to grab a yogurt or fruit to fill that "sweet tooth" most of the time. For those who are not at maintenance yet, believe me all the healthy habits you are building now will make it easier to maintain your weight. Yes I still grab a cookie or chocolate bar, but I don't dwell on it and those instances are getting fewer and farther between. If you have children in your life they do watch you and my girls eat mostly what I do because really what choice do they have I do the shopping and it is all fruits, veggies and healthier alternative snacks (have tried homemade granola bars that turned out more like trail mix as they didn't hold their shape).

I also want to thank everyone who sent me special messages for this anniversary. I will get around to individual messages but I want to let you know I appreciate the messages and well wishes.

On a side note, I finally broke down and got my eyes tested and guess who needs both reading and distance glasses now (I think I may get them as bifocals, that makes me sound old..LOL). I have had readers for years, but hardly wore them and now I have to wear glasses for distance as well. Went to a place that does 3 pairs for $199 (providing the frames are of the $99 variety, I paid the difference in price on some frames I liked better). Here are my distance ones:

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLONDEDOG 4/1/2014 10:24AM

    Awesome! You look amazing!!!! Congratulations!

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MEDDYPEDDY 3/17/2014 1:07AM

    Nice glasses -and congratulatince on the maintance anniversary!

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SIEGRID 3/13/2014 2:39PM

    emoticon

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MJREIMERS 3/13/2014 12:14AM

    You look great in glasses! Keep up the great work and let's have many more spark anniversaries!

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 3/12/2014 10:15PM

    emoticon emoticon
Love your new glasses also!!! ENJOY them!!!
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

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PRUPLEBEAR 3/12/2014 7:46PM

    You rock

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THRIFTEE1 3/12/2014 5:47PM

    That is amazing, 4 YEARS!!!!! I love when I see people have been able to maintain their weight loss. I hope to one day be in your shoes. Lookin GOOD!!!! emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 3/12/2014 5:21PM

    Whoohoo, rock on baby! That is great that you have been able to do this for 4 years.

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Opportunity Knocked....

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

and I answered. After my long rant a few days ago, I got a phone call from my soon to be former manager telling me about a position he had been told about. So I went over to one of the shops near by and talked to the owner. Just so happens he was looking for a detailer and has watched me work next door to his business for the past 9 years. He didn't want to approach me outright because he didn't know I was looking for a new job.

So, yesterday I had an impromptu job interview with the owner and his production manager. They are willing to hold the position for me until April 1 as I told them I did not want to burn any bridges. I know that sounds strange, but my dad taught me that you never know when things that caused a great amount of stress may be needed in the future. That and I have a very strange sense of loyalty, perhaps misplaced loyalty.

I was told that I was worth the wait and they had a band-aid fix for the time being as the person I am replacing went back to school and agreed to work part time until they could replace him. I am happy that I will be starting at the same wage I am making now and will get benefits after 90 days. It wasn't my job (cleaning cars/office duties) that I hated it was the huge influx of new people that I had to help train, and the fact that no one seemed to care about the lack of proper equipment to do our jobs effectively. The new job would be helping the production manager at a body shop organizing cars for cleaning before work is done, after work is done, keeping the detail bay clean and organized, moving cars from prep to paint, and a few other things. There will be a lot to learn and eventually I may even get to learn to run the polisher and do pin striping. It is a very small family run shop. I know most of the guys there and they know me to see me but not much else. It will also mean small perks like getting to leave early the day before a lot of major holidays like Christmas and Easter. They know that people have families and are willing to accommodate as much as possible for emergencies.

I think this will be a good fit for me and it means I won't be working as insane a schedule as they try to have everyone out the door between 4 and 5 PM meaning I will work a regular 8 hour work day not 9-10 (sometimes 12). I will keep my very part-time evening job typing medical files as I do enjoy it and it brings in an extra $500 to $700 a month depending on how fast I am.

I feel like a great weight is lifting off my shoulders and I am sure that once I give my official notice to my current employer I will feel a whole lot better.

Thank you all for your prayers and positive thoughts. They worked and I am so grateful that things are turning around.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 3/17/2014 1:04AM

    Awesome! congratulations! How wonderful!

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 2/22/2014 10:06PM

    CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU ARE WORTH THE WAIT!!! Let us know how things go for you. It sure sounds like just the job you will enjoy...especially the great hours.
Prayers, blessings and hugs,
Helen

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PRUPLEBEAR 2/22/2014 7:39PM

    How awesome are you? Rock on with your dorky self!

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 2/20/2014 1:22PM

    WOOHOO! I am so glad that you stepped into the opportunity that presented itself. It sounds like you will be in a place where you can shine (so to speak) and relax a little too. So glad you are able to have benefits and such soon and that they understand life happens.

Good Luck!

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SHAPECHANGER 2/20/2014 7:49AM

    Congratulations! The best of luck to you!

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TWEETYKC00 2/20/2014 7:47AM

    I am so glad things are working out well. Can't wait to hear about the new job when you get to start!

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SKYLARGREY 2/20/2014 3:26AM

    That's great news! And being told you're worth waiting for-what a boost! Congratulations. x

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KNEEMAKER 2/19/2014 10:37PM

  emoticon

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TAICHIDANCER 2/19/2014 10:29PM

    Congrats!

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SCIGEEK 2/19/2014 10:11PM

    Yay! Jumping up and down with happiness for you!

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Feeling Burned Out

Saturday, February 15, 2014

This is a fairly long vent, so if you don't get through it I understand.

I hate my job. I have an action plan to leave, but I am just not sure I can get through the next 3 months (have to make it until oldest is done with her course in May) let alone the next 6 at my current main income job. As most of you know, I work from home about 25 hours per week and hold a more than full-time job outside the home (45-50 hours a week). This has turned into a recipe for a very volatile home environment. In the past few weeks I have spent more time in tears because of being overwhelmed than I can remember in a very long time. I don't think I was this emotionally on edge even after Mom passed away last May.

I have a very supportive family, but they are receiving the brunt of my anger and frustration, and if I am honest they really don't deserve this. They are there for me no matter what, but I have felt like a complete failure as a wife and mother due to all the stress at main income job. I am working on my resume and will be sending it out to a few places soon to see if I can find something else before August 2014. Right now if I could find either a part-time job that had a higher hourly wage or a regular full-time job (ie. 35-40 hours a week not 45-50) that paid the same or slightly less to start would be fine. I am just tired of getting up every weekday morning dreading going to work. The person who has fought for me for the past 4 years at this job is leaving for a better job elsewhere and quite honestly with how much his mood has changed over the past week since he found out I am jealous. I was hoping it would be me leaving this place before him. I am extremely happy for him and wish him all the best. He has told me to use him as a reference while job hunting and I hope that we can remain friends after we no longer work together.

My hubby has been a saint even though he has been cried on so much in the last few days. I have said some very stupid things that I now regret. I am going to see my family doctor soon to discuss the possibility that part of my physical symptoms may actually be related to anxiety or depression (although I am not really sure I am depressed just extremely stressed).

If I could make over $2,500 per month doing my transcription job I would just stay home and do that, but I am simply not fast enough yet to make that a possibility.

I know that this is affecting my maintenance as well because I am once again eating sporadically and not necessarily the healthiest. My stomach has been in knots so often that I have not wanted to eat or eating causes me to feel nauseated. I will also be seeing my gastrointerologist at the end of the month and I will discuss the same issues with him that I do with my GP and see what answers he gives me. I am just tired of feeling like I am 92 instead of 42.

Thank you if you made it this far.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 3/17/2014 1:02AM

    That is tough! As i came here after reading your status about going to a new job, I hope to read futher on that it has changed!

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 2/18/2014 5:06PM

    **HUGS** Wow! You have a lot going on. I sincerely hope two things. First that you can get some help from the doc's and find the joy and fun in life again. Second that you can either find a new job or a way to make this one less stressful/hateful. You handling a lot right now.

Venting here is a good option if you need to. Prolonged stress does strange things to our bodies. I hope you get relief soon!
**HUGS**

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TWEETYKC00 2/17/2014 6:28AM

    I hope that something good can happen for you, you deserve better than this.

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PRUPLEBEAR 2/16/2014 7:50PM

    I am sorry! I wish I could do more for ya! BUt my dorky friend all I can do is tell ya that I am thinking of ya! And any time you want to vent feel free!

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NETGYRL 2/16/2014 6:39PM

    My spouse was in the same situation (major job hate and anxiety/depression) Her doctor put her on a low dose of Celexa and its been a night and day change. I highly recommend you go see your doctor asap. Good luck to you!

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BEULAH45 2/15/2014 9:21PM

    So sorry for your situation. Venting here is a good way to relieve your stress without further stressing your family. Will pray for you.
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