Friday, June 06, 2014
Right now I have not checked my weight, tracked my food or tracked my exercise. My clothes aren't tight yet but then again most of my clothes were too big anyhow because let's face it I am too cheap to go out and buy new clothes. I work in a place where what I wear really doesn't matter (I detail cars for a living). I go to work wearing HUGE T-shirts and jeans along with my lovely 3 lbs a piece safety shoes (I opted for "cute" steel toes shoes rather than boots). I no longer go for my lunch time walks, but 5 days a week I do get an average of 15,000 steps. On the weekends I sit for about 20 hours over 2 days doing my other job and I just feel like there is no time for me anymore.
I have taken to bringing a book or a knitting project with me to work on during my lunch break, which lately has contained way more fast food and pop than good healthy stuff. I have no one to blame but myself. I am finding it hard to want to eat anymore baby carrots and I can only eat so much celery but the other veggies I like are too pricey right now and I am also trying to buy only Canadian grown fruit and veg which limits what is available. I did break this rule and bought some strawberries that came from California and I thought they tasted bland.
I am also finding it difficult to function as I am up at 3:30 AM to get hubby to work by 4:45 (20 minute commute and need breakfast before we leave), then I go to my work place and sleep for 2 hours in the car (can't afford a 2nd one right now and we live to far away to come home after taking him to work). My work schedule has changed a bit and I now work 8 to 5-5:30 which is better than it was for the previous 9 years at my old employer (7-7:30 start time and not leaving until 5:45-6:30). I do work another part time job in the evenings from home.
I know what needs to happen and part of it would be getting a second vehicle on the road but that just seems so wasteful to me when hubby and I have to be in similar locations, unfortunately at very dissimilar times. I know things could be worse, hubby and I are both employed we will be watching our oldest daughter graduate from her trades program next week and our youngest will be learning to drive this summer. There is so much to be thankful for but right now all I can see is the deep dark hole I have dug myself into and I don't know how to get back out.
My hubby is very supportive and we talk a lot about where we want to be but just don't know how to get there.
I will end on a very positive note that my new job (started at an auto body repair shop as a production assistant 2 months ago) is going VERY well. I am asked my opinion, it is heard and I get a "thank you for your hard work today" that is actually sincere. It is not all positive feedback that I get but anything "negative" is done constructively and with helpful tips on how to do it better next time. Today we put out 8 cars that had to be detailed inside and out and things were good. I am enjoying my job again and actually look forward to going to work now, it is no longer a chore to be endured. I do a lot of lifting and moving but it is not the same as actually working out (today I was moving bumpers, fenders and helped to move a few larger items like doors and side panels as well, it is a lot of fun), which I think is the crux of my problems above.
This got really long and I thank you all if you made it this far. It seems I complain a lot but this is cheaper than therapy