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I Didn't Do It!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Today after I got off work, I came home mowed the yard did some laundry then I weighed and lost nothing. I was hungry and aggravated I made up my mind to go to the store and get something breaded and fried and something sweet and chocolaty. I walked in the store with full determination to do just that, after all I have lost 96 lbs! I said to myself and I have only got 29 more lbs to go Why not!!
As I was walking through the isles looking for exactly what I wanted going through the cookie and ice cream isle and then the breaded fating food. I could not bring myself to pick it up, but I deserve this I said to myself it's not going to kill you again I said to myself! After standing looking bewildered for awhile and other customers getting away from me because I was talking to myself, I thought Donna your falling in the same trap don't do it all the hard work for over a year, I know it's ok every once in awhile to eat something but not while your in this state you need to walk away. This is when I thought this is emotional eating . I then went to the produce section and bought 3 plums and some baby carrots. I then went home and enjoyed my expensive plums!!
Thanks to my spark friends I thought about all the support they have given me and I was not about to let them or myself down! I DIDN'T DO IT!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSMILLER777 4/28/2009 7:11PM

    emoticon on NOT doing it! The little decisions that make the big differences on this journey! Thanks for the spark goodie too! I hope you can continue the progress! You are such a motivator. I'm adding you to my friends so I can keep an eye on you, hope you don't mind!

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MSDREAMER 4/27/2009 12:27PM

  Great comments! As a new member to Spark people reading messages like yours is very motivating and inspirational. Your comments about feeling you deserve a treat, it wont kill you, you've already done so well a treat is ok - these all sound so familiar. Your honesty helps me to face the truth, the food doesn't fix anything. It just makes me gain more weight, feel worse about myself and around and around I go! I am taking it one day at a time....I know I can stick to this for one day.....then tomorrow will be the next one day at a time. When I look at your results I realize that all the one days add up to great results. Congratulations to you!

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JIBBIE49 4/15/2009 12:28AM

    I passed up buying 50% Easter Candy today, which was a BIG thing for me. I love a bargain, and I love remembering all the fun I had at Easter, so lots of emotions there. Just told myself that being healthy was what matters. emoticon emoticon

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DISNEYLOVER5 4/14/2009 8:23PM

    Its a great feeling to overcome emotional eating. Way to go!

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SUNSHINERN11 4/14/2009 6:24PM

    emoticon emoticon nice job!

Red

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BARRIERPS 4/14/2009 6:09PM

    emoticon I am so proud of you!! That is fantastic! emoticon I am so glad you went with the fruit and veggies instead of the junk. It takes real willpower to turn down the sweets, and you sure have shown yourself you have the willpower! emoticon Keep up the wonderful work! BTW Plums are expensive, I bought some over the weekend and Whew! They are high, but good!

Comment edited on: 4/14/2009 6:10:30 PM

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There is no quick fix

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

As of to date I have lost 95.4 lbs it's been very hard work, and I can not believe me of all people has done this, no pills, no trainer, and no surgurey just determination and every thing I got inside of me.
Yesterday at work I had someone who is as overweight as I was, but almost 20 yrs younger and much more health problems than I ever had, was telling me about a new pill of some sort that you take and it's like a ball or balloon that blows up in your stomach and blocks the food. I have told her don't do it! I don't think is sounds safe! I have learned that you have to do your journey with healthy eating and exercise there is no quick fix! I have see allot of my co-workers who have had the gastric bypass surgery gain it back. I admit I would have loved to do the surgery, but I have smoked since I was very young and wasn't willing to give them up. I now want to quite smoking but I want the weight off first and foremost, and once I get to my goal of 140 lbs and I feel confident I can keep it off that's my next goal to quite smoking, but right now I'm not willing to risk my weight loss for it.
I just wish I could make my co-worker and friend realize the is no quick fix you just got to do it!!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LARISSA25* 4/28/2009 9:59AM

  U r sooooo right. I have a friend that had gastric bypass last december but had to lose 80 pds before the surgery and i thought well if u can do that why the surgery? Well she had the surgery but i can lose as much as her if i do everything right every week. ALso ive had a trainer at the gym forver but have realized there is no quick fix and trainers dont do any good,its all up to us and want we do in the end!!!

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CZSWAN 4/9/2009 3:40PM

  Good blog and you are right. I keep reading the pages of the successful people and they are all saying the same thing. I think all of us who have a long way to go are wishing there was a quick fix. But I am sure that even if there was one, the weight would just come back since we wouldn't learn those healthy habits which will help us keep the weight off.

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OPALYN 4/9/2009 11:08AM

    You are soo right , this isn't a quick fix....I have been told many times , after you have this baby just go have the surgery...For what , when all i have to do is get off my sofa, I saved my life plus alot of money , AND if i want to eat that piece of cake i can eat it , it wont be a force to enjoy my food...That's just me!!
But Thank you for this blog , you are soo right , people will go to the xtreme to lose weight , when all you have to do is GET UP!!

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RAMONA62 4/8/2009 11:22PM

    Great Blog and ohhh so true.

I have mentioned to my friends at work that I wish I had invested in one of these weight loss companies I could be on the beach in the Cayman Islands..sipping on those little umbrella drinks. But because I know it is a scheme.....I keep my day job.

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JIBBIE49 4/7/2009 10:51PM

    You are so right about just DOING IT. I've gotten so much from reading ROGER GOULD, M.D.'s book "Shrink Yourself" on stopping emotional eating. I wanted junk food so much yesterday when I was upset about Nathan having a low white cell count, and his hair has starting falling out from the Chemo. He is being such a good heart about it. But, I do feel sorry for him, because I know he is worried that HE will be one of the 2% that doesn't beat this. I heard him telling someone about that yesterday.
BUT, I know for me, eating a lot of junk food isn't going to help my fear. Dr. Phil always says what we fear is "can I handle this?" I know it is what I'm thinking. It isn't me, but just how I hate to see him have his life cut short, if it comes down to that.
But, like Gilda Radner said (and she died from Ovarian Cancer) "It's always something."

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Work

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I have worked at TDCJ (women's prison) for 11 yrs now I have been at my currant unit for over 6 yrs now, most people didn't know my name. A Captain of mine always had to ask me what my name was. Now she has seen me in free world clothes and knows me. Since I have lost 92 lbs so far everyone knows me now they come up and say Ms Fisher your looking great, or they will call me skinny I know it should be a compliment and it makes me feel good, but at the same time I feel alot of pressure like everyone is watching me. I have had Wardens come up and give me compliments on my weight loss. ( I prefer they not know who I am) lol . I know I should be grateful and I am but sometimes I just want a damn cookie ( I do not make this a habit) but I feel like everyone is looking at me so I avoid it. (maybe this is a good thing) I have 32.8 to get to my goal weight I have not been this small since high school when I was 160. I also was know as Big Fish at work used to really bother me( I didn't let it show) now everyone says they got to find a new name for me ( see there is another Fisher at work and I was Big Fish and she was little Fish) That is one of the best things that came out of my weight loss that now when I get called Big Fish it don't bother me anymore. I just cant wait till nobody remembers how big I was.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 4/1/2009 2:15PM

    I give you credit for working at a Prison, because i sure couldn't be around those type of people every day. I've seen news films about women's prisons and those people aren't people I'd want to deal with. emoticon

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Push ups

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Today I figured out I can actually do boy style pushups, now keep in mind not all the way touch my nose to the floor but I can get half down I did 2 sets of 15. See I have never been able to do boy style push ups I couldn't even hold the position more than 10 seconds. I must admit my body was making all kinds of noises, that would have been embarrassing if anyone had been around my pug was looking at me with her head tilt like "what are you doing ?" I also did 2 sets of 20 jumping jacks, I would have been more excited about that if my thigh skin hadn't been flapping around making slapping noise, but this is a big accomplishment for me and then I started jumping on my kitchen counters to see if I could, and guess what I could! I felt like I was 10 yrs old again, running around the house to see what I could do. Well a 10yr old with loose skin.. :) emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASPENJULES 2/25/2009 9:57PM

    Isn't it cool to be able to do what I call MANLY pushups?!? 2 sets of 15 - way to go!!

And when I do jump squats, my belly skin slaps against my legs. Terribly embarrassing, but better than the alternative, right? Keep up the good work!

LOL-ing at the 10 year old with loose skin... emoticon

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JIBBIE49 2/22/2009 12:43AM

    emoticon 10 yo with loose skin.

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SQUIRTZIE 2/16/2009 6:17PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon


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Changing my life

Monday, January 26, 2009

I am 43 yrs old I have fought with my weight all my life going up and down to staving myself to making myself throw up ( I thought it was a good idea at hte time before I heard of bulimea) I have gone from 309 to what I am today wich is 193 with several blips in between. I am 5'6" so all that weight was hard on my knees. I feel I have let life pass me by in the last 15 yrs I never married nor had children, altho I do love my nieces and nephews. I sat and watch my brother lose two of his kids. Trent in 2000 to brain cancer he was 4, and Jeremy lost his battle with cystic fibrocis in May of 2006. They both fought so hard to live yet I was letting life just slip by I know now God has a plan for me I don't know what but I feel it's time to get healthy and get out there and see what it is. My hope is to one day is to help others with weight struggles, but I'm not at that point yet but I'm getting there. Yes it's slower and harder than when I was in my 20's but more rewarding than back then too. I have learned there is no quick fix and you got to exercies. I feel so much better now than I can even remeber. I know this time is my time to get there and see what life is all about.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEVINEIN09 1/31/2009 10:21AM

    Loved your blog.. I am here to give you support and to ask for it also. We will be fine it just takes time... Remember a lifestyle change is just that.. A LIFE style. Hope to hear from you soon and stay positive. Christine in NY

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JIBBIE49 1/27/2009 6:39PM

    Thanks for adding me as a friend. I'm here for support.

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JIBBIE49 1/27/2009 12:04AM

    I know this is YOUR TIME.
This is a long battle, but we got to do it. I was keeping of 35# for a number of months and then over the Holiday Season I yo-yo'd back up 12# and I'm working now to get it off, but it is sticking like wet cement. BUT, I won't quit, and I know you won't either. emoticon

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CHRISFIT1 1/26/2009 11:27PM

  Hi Divonna,
I think it's great that you are starting so young to move from 193 to a weight that's more comfortable and let's you move and dance and enjoy your family without worrying too much about knees etc. I'm 5' 6' also and have been your weight. You'll be surprised how cool it feels to get into that "first " size 12 dancing dress!

You have a lot of love to give and a plan to give it. That makes a difference too.
Enjoyed your page and your beautiful photos.
emoticon
Christine
BLC


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