Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Read on all is exposed. And yes my friend down the road in AD I thought of you and your sister while I was writing this:)
Why is it impossible IMPOSSIBLE for me to stop at one slice?
Oh yes its sits there in its packet, all meek and mild, smelling of that bread freshness, soft and warm and all who me? looking. Its slices all innocently lined up with their flecks of grain running through them looking all healthy like, inviting you take a bite.
And you should bread by itself is not a bad option at all a couple of slices will fill you up and don't cost too many calories or that's what the bread would have you THINK.
Please take your your closest loaf of bread, look at the base of the packet and search for the fine print. You will see it right there. Unable to be consumed by itself requires the addition of ingredients preferably high in fat, sodium and sugar. Did you find it no? Look harder it's there believe me.
This simple little food is the support act for a whole lot of devious behavior.
Simple yet deadly buy it fresh from the oven, lash on lots of good quality butter and eat delish.
A sweet treat pop it in the toaster, lash on lots of good butter, add your favourite strawberry jelly (peanut butter optional) and munch away heavenly.
Salt mmm - salt - Pop it in the toaster, lash on lots of good butter and smear on some Vegemite OK OK purely an Aussie treat but sooo good and so full of wholesome sodium.
Feeling fancy - Pop it in the toaster, lash on lots of good butter, pop on some bacon, a poached egg and some good quality store bought hollandaise yuuummm. (Bacon on the side, ends and all over it is also optional).
I could go on but you get the picture. And did you see a pattern there? Toaster...butter....toaster....butter....t
I have it on good authority (source refuses to be named of course) that the power players in the butter and toaster industries formed a club many years ago and now make their money preying on the toast-challenged such as myself.
Latest reports indicate that the big bread boys are about to join this dynamic duo to create the perfect axis of evil - beware - your toast addiction will seem like a passing fancy once this triumvirate starts to work together.
It has been scientifically proven that those toasty scented swirls that waft from the bread-soon-to-be-toast have the ability to bring a grown man to his knees and the skinniest supermodel to eat more calories on 1 piece of toast than she has eaten since last Thursday.
Scientific studies also prove that too much toast can make you completely delusional... hmmm.
Alas I will always have a soft spot for that soft evil slice made brown and crunchy and just begging to be smothered in anything you want.
But admitting the problem is half the battle....right?
Hang on I could swear that loaf of bread just whispered eeeaaattt me - better go and check it out .