Juice fast done! Well for now anyway

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

After 8 days decided I would stop the juice fasting for awhile. Very happy that I have lost over 7 kilos and feel wonderful.

This weekend one of my nephews is getting married and am spending the next 4 days with family and friends. My nephew Timothy is FINALLY marrying the girl he has been with on and off for 10 years. Talk about a commitment phobe!

I have now seen the family for a year so breaking bread with them is an important part of family ritual and I want to be able to enjoy that with them over this upcoming long weekend.

From there I will staying my best friend in Sydney and back on juicing - she is very interested so I may have a juice buddy while I am there for 5 days. Also going back to the hypnotherapist who got me OFF cigarettes last year for 2 months - considering that my head is in a much healthier place now a return visit will seal the deal - goodbye cancer sticks!

Therapy has been such a wonderful revelation for me and I am so thankful for where I am right now. Still work to do but II have made some major breakthroghs in the last few days and am excited about the future.

I am then off to Hopewood which is a health farm in the Blue Mountains. NOT a spa, but very health focused.

I went there many years ago and did a 21 day water fast. I was SO energised and so full of appreciation for life and my body that I am planning to do another one. Again with my mind so differently focussed, it will be a much more beneficial experience.

Its a rather provocative health treatment and doctor tend to be split over its benefits, much like many new agey therapies. All I know is that for me it works.

Some reading here if you are interested:

www.gaianstudies.org/articles4.htm

I am in a much healthier place in my head and am looking forward to focusing solely on my physical health for a few weeks.

Many of you maybe shaking your heads at the thought of a water fast however it's been a really positive experience for me before so I am looking forward to how I feel at the end of it.

I know none of this has been very Spark specific however I like keeping in contact with you guys and once I have finished the water fast I will be back on and using Sparkpeople to keep me on the healthy and right track!

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentines day and if you had no one special around that you were special to yourelf!

Spark on

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Are the scales in your head stuck in time?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

First off the juice fast so far.

Today is the start of day 7. 15 lbs/7 kilos down so far. By Day 8 I am supposed to be starting to feel much more energised and I can say that I AM feeling some of that this morning. Adding a vegetarian meal for dinner has made this so much easier - I have 4 x juices, one coconut water (Could someone please ask God to add in a flip top to those things because they can be a pain to open! ) and then a veggie stir fry and I might add some tofu and a little rice. No dairy or meat at all.

Adding this meal reduces the juice fast cleansing properties a little BUT it's what I needed to do to be able to enjoy it more so it works for me. And its nice to know there is something to look forward to at the end of the day - because life was not meant to be suffered through.
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About 18 months ago I was 120 or so'ish kilos (260 lbs) and had been that way for 3 to 5 years. If I approached 130 kgs alarms would go off and I would do what I had to to pull back from that weight.

6-9 months ago I just started to put on weight and ignore the scales - in that time I added 28 kilos or about 60 POUNDS.

In my head 120 kilos is my starting point to lose weight because it has been for years, so the loss that is happening now feels less important for some reason. Like its what I have to do before I can actually start losing weight.

Its kind of strange...like I am ignoring the additional weight because I just don't want to acknowledge it and am waiting for that to go so I can really start to lose weight.

I don't really think of or see myself at 148 (320 lbs) - perhaps the weight gain was so quick my head could not keep up.

Is that weird...or have some of you felt that way as well?

Don't get me wrong - I am feeling really happy and each day makes me smile a little wider. After a week of juicing I DON'T feel like I am missing out or craving bad food. I feel really good about achieving something I never thought I could do!

And by the way...YOU rock! Even if you don't know it, others already do :)

Spark on

P.S. Funny story - my nieces daughter who is 7 was playing with my iPhone and found a couple of shots I took of me in my underwear so I had a before picture. She announced to me in a loud voice in front of the whole family "Uncle David why do you have rude nudey pictures on your phone?"The whole table stopped and looked at me, speculating on what pornographic material I had been downloading LMAO EMBARRASING! lol

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So why is it that I keep failing EVERY time!!!! I think I have the answer :D

Friday, February 10, 2012

First off juicing.

Have now been juicing for 6 days - I feel AWESOME! and have lost 6.6 kg's/14 pounds.

Its more about rebooting my body then weight loss, but the loss is a great by product of it. My recent blogs have more details if your interested. FYI I have switched to the Juicing plus Dinner option - so much better for me!

Some of you who have been with me since the start may remember Bert. I described him as the other me who weighed around 100 lbs, was my constant "friend", the monkey on my back and the one who told me over eating was OK and never left my side - that was from a blog in December 2010:

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3831234

Fast forward to yesterday at my therapist. I was talking about how I felt that there was another "me" who was back there watching my constant attempts to lose weight and knew that I would fail. To me it felt like he was more powerful than my need to lose weight and was not connected to me or "with" me in the battle to get healthy.

You know, that frenemy who says "well I won't say I told you so but..."

After some talk and a few tears I realised that he has always been there and really just wants to stop me getting hurt. His intentions were pure many years ago and to him still are. He knows I hurt badly when I fail, he knows i have failed every time I have tried to lose weight so therefore he doesn't want me to try again because he knows I will fail and get hurt again. And he cares about me in his own way.

Once we had talked through that it was like a lightning bolt to me.

How could I ever lose weight when "Bert" was there watching and as soon as he saw one single mistake assumed that failure was coming and sabotaged me early to stop any further hurt.

He was just trying to protect me in his own way. Weird but true.

This revelation has been SO good for me, so enlightening, so freeing I just can NOT describe it. I have tears in my eyes just writing this.

I am ALLOWED to make a mistake and just let it be that without Bert sounding the alarms and shutting everything down. This seemingly simple realisation holds the key to so many of the battles I have fought internally.

I have written because I am sure some of you have the same monkey on your back or other you which sabotages you for what it believes are the right reasons.

And I hope that MY realisation can maybe help for you to see even a little of what your well meaning saboteur maybe doing.

I feel SO good today after uncovering this about myself

Spark on

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AWESOME at falling off! Not so good at getting on...

Friday, February 10, 2012

Fell of the horse yesterday afternoon and my juicing stopped cause I was tired and starving, had missed 2 juices during the day and ended up having a couple of my bakery favourites. Not as many as usual but still, I fell off.

This morning I woke and am straight back on the horse, juicing and feeling good. No beating myself and no bruises to show.

The metaphor of falling off a horse and getting back on is used often around these parts (pardon my inner cowboy talking there :).

For some of us falling off takes time as we grip the reins and clench our thighs against the horse with out teeth gritted, trying to hang on until we finally slow to a canter and slide off with a little dirt on our pants and an embarrassed look on our face.

Then we run after the horse, stop it, climb back on and learn that that particular style of holding on or riding wasn't quite right and we learn and keep going.

That slow almost graceful fall to the ground is NOT what I have been an expert at.

I used to prefer the horse to be running at full gallop and as soon as I started to slide I would let go and crash into earth at high speed and with damaging results, while the horse sped off in another direction. I'd usually roll around on the ground for awhile enjoying the mud and eventually figure out that I probably should see where that dang horse went.

And then roll around some more, making sure I was good and dirty and feeling wrecked.

The more I dig into myself the more I am starting understand about what is going on. That all or nothing is not the only option. That making one mistake doesn't mean you have failed and are not allowed to even think about getting back on until you have well and truly numbed and fed yourself into a coma....for at least a week.

That falling of that horse doesn't mean you then have to beat yourself mercilessly for being so stupid.

It just means you made one little mistake and that's OK and get back on.

That horse is your friend in the end and he wants you to get where you need to go. You just have to let him do that.

Right that's me done - I have to go and check online for chaps and jeans. In a smaller size!

Spark on

Oh - and after all that I only gained 100 grams. All good:)

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Weird stuff you learn.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

I found out this morning that those things that hang off your legs can be used to walk further than from the kitchen to the couch.

Feet I think they are called? So, anyway, if you just keep putting one in front of the other they will start do do it automatically and before long you are doing a thing called ecksercize!

Doesn't look right...ekcersyze? ...nope....EXERCISE? Yep thats it.

Who knew?

Day 4 of juice fast, 12.5 pounds down and feeling SO much clearer in the head and slept really well.

Spark on

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