Friday, December 28, 2012
Well – if by crack I mean food then yes. I am a food addict. But it may as well be crack the way I am transfixed by it!
Over periods of depression while I have been away from Spark I have really noticed the only time I was feeling better (as in wanting to stand up, basically!) was when I was eating.
The more fat, sugar and carbs I stuffed in my gob, the bigger my internal smile-o-meter grew and the more pleasure hormones my brain would produce.
Lets just saying eating a couple of carrots would not make my smile-o-meter go ding whereas a Krsipy Kreme donut could definitely send it into over drive!
And as soon as I stopped chewing and swallowed the last bite?
CRASH and my mood plummeted.
So what lesson do I (and many of us) learn about the pleasure hormones that fatty, salty or sweet food gives us as we slowly expand?
Eating crap food makes you feel good. So keep eating it and you'll feel even GOODER!
Most of us learn our lesson early with alcohol in those teenage years when we drink till we puke and eventually as we mature we know when its time to NOT have that next glass of wine or beer.
Why is it our body does not tell us the same thing when we are stuffing down pastries and chips and … well the list is endless.
And I do mean STUFFING. As in inhaling, cramming, non stop pushing of food into my cake hole.
If I am in the mood for Mickey D's hash browns in the morning I would go and get 2 x sausage McMuffins, 4 hash browns and a Coffee Kick Frappe.
As I handed over my money at the drive through window (dear God why would I want to walk in and order when that burns so many precious calories!) I would look the server in the eye and make sure SHE knew that I knew that she knew that I really WAS ordering breakfast for me and the other invisible person at home and this was not just for me!.
The pleasure I would get from eating those crunchy, fatty hash browns was insane – when you really notice how your brain and body reacts its surprising. I really do get a little “high” from that kind of food.
But I also get that body high from doing some good hard exercise and I HAVE to remember that and keep implementing it into my day.
So. Please. All you “crack” addicts out there. Lets kick the habit and get some healthier ones happening.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
I've spent the last few months doing some fairly heavy work on myself mentally and spiritually. Its been difficult and confronting but also really rewarding.
My therapist awesome and doesn't let me rest on my laurels for long and knows that all I need is a gentle push in the right direction to now start getting my own momentum.
Instead of just waiting as we often do for whatever that "thing" is that suddenly kicks in and we just find motivation I now know I have to create that for myself. That guy who sits in my subconscious and in the past has pushed me to lose weight has let me know that he's not ready to keep doing that if the rest of me won't commit. Probably sounds strange but it makes sense for me :)
I am writing this as I wait for my nutritionist to call in for her 2 weekly visit. Unfortunately I have not been good BUT the last few days have finally opened my eyes so I am back in the swing of things.
So - its time for action. And I feel completely ready for it.
A little quote that I have put up above the jug so I can read it while I wait for the jug to boil:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you NOT to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
So just shine - alright?
Can't wait to go around and see what all my Sparkies have been up to.
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