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Do you ever just want to tear your hair out?

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

First things first: weights and measures.

Weight 2/8/11: 178.2lbs (+2.2lbs since last week! STILL GOING UP! GRRR)

Measurements: (current/previous/change)
Waist: 34 in / 34.25 in / -0.25 in
Chest: 34.25 in / 33.5 in /+0.75 in
Hips: 44.5 in / 43.25 in / +1.25 in (!!!!)
Bicep: 11.5 / 11.5 in / 0 in
Forearm: 9.75 in / 9.75 in / 0 in
Thigh: 25.25 in / 24.75 in / + 0.5 in (!!!!)
Calf: 17.0 in / 16.5 in / +0.5 in (!!!!)
Body Fat Percentage: 39.8%/40.9% -1.1% change via Omron Full Body Analysis Scale

So, now I know where the weight is going. My BUTT and THIGHS and LEGS are getting BIGGER!! The parts that I really really really wish I could just magically shrink are getting LARGER!! Are you kidding me??? Does running really put on that much muscle? Cause my eating habits have NOT changed. And I have worked out more since the beginning of the year than I had in months before that. What is the deal? And is my body going to figure out the fact that cardio BURNS fat? UGH! I really just want to throw my hands in the air at this point....and no, not like Taio Cruz where I "want to celebrate and live my life." I do NOT feel like dancing. I feel like crying. I feel like crap. No, I'm not going to give up. Yes, I will continue the way I have been. I'm just not happy about it at this moment in time.

To close on a good note, I am still getting comments from people asking if I'm losing weight. But after the last couple weeks, I have to ask "how can it LOOK like I'm losing if I'm actually gaining both weight and inches?"

Is there hope? Will my body actually catch up?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KASHMIR 2/15/2011 3:34PM

    My first question is, are you tracking everything you eat every day? Whenever I stop tracking, I gain weight. I'll think I'm in range, but if I sit down and plug everything into the tracker after the fact I'll discover I've consumed way more calories than I thought I had.
Second question, how is your sleep? That is another sure fire way for me to gain weight...not enough sleep, up goes the scale.

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HPTHATBME 2/12/2011 9:09PM

    While you might be looking toned, and that might be what everyone is complimenting you on!

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1MIN17SECB412PM 2/9/2011 7:15PM

    Dandelion (Taraxacum officinale)
Dandelion off- sets craving for sweets. Eat leaves raw in salad or make a tea by boiling 2-3 tsp of the root in a cup of water for I 0-15 min. Can drink it about 3x's per day.

Licorice (Glycyrrhiza glabra)
Licorice root strengthens adrenal glands- helps sustain a regulated blood-sugar level & reduces cravings for sweets. Licorice tastes sweet.
Dose: Take only a cup of licorice daily (up to 5 days in 1 wk out of every month & only for up to 3 months) & do not take it at all if you have high blood pressure.

Siberian Ginseng (Eleutherococcus Senticosus)
Siberian ginseng helps to stabilize blood sugar & reduce cravings for sweets. Do not use if you have high blood pressure.

Bee pollen
Bee pollen stimulates the metabolism & helps to curb appetite.

Brewer's yeast
Brewer's yeast will help to reduce various cravings for food & drink.

Fennel (Foeniculum vulgare)
Fennel removes mucus & fat from the intestinal tract & is a natural appetite suppressant.

Walnut (Juglans)
Walnuts are rich in serotonin. Serotonin is shown to make us feel full; so we eat less as a result.

Sometimes we need a little intervention. Maybe some herbs, spices, or teas will have *something* that your body NEEDS to kick start it... emoticon kind a' like it gets clogged or stuck, ya' know? ::hugs n' kisses::

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KBEHUNE 2/9/2011 9:08AM

    I am struggling too! I hope this is just a phase!

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BAM0827 2/9/2011 7:50AM

    Sorry that the results aren't where you are hoping they'd be. It can be very frustrating.

How about only measuring every other week or once a month? Last year I had the small ah-ha that I weighed (and measured) the same whether I knew what it was or not. I put the scale away for a little bit because I was frustrated and living with that on my mind all the time was causing havoc in my head!

There's an FAQ that many people don't lose weight for 4-6 weeks after they start to exercise. Maybe that's what's going on with you since you started exercising more.

Enjoy the runs you're having. Enjoy how strong your body feels after a good workout. Enjoy that you're eating well.

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LYNNANN43 2/8/2011 11:18PM

    Like I just told my daughter over the weekend... NSV's (Non scale victories) are what gets us through until the scale catches up!

Focus on those!

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ROBBIEMARIE 2/8/2011 10:01PM

    I know you are tired of hearing it'll get better when you are feeling so incredibly frustrated. However, I do believe if you keep up with the hard work it will eventually turn in your desired direction. Wish I could wave a magic wand in your direction and make it happen. (I might use that wand on myself first though!)

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77PINKLADY 2/8/2011 9:10PM

    Hang in there. I've been stuck at 10-13 pounds lost for like two months now. I swear I've lost the same 3 pounds 3 times. But my inches are down. You are losing it's just not the way you think you should. What about your blood pressure and heart rate. Remember your heart is a muscle too and it's getting a workout too. Good for you for being here and being determined. Keep it up!! emoticon

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It's ok.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

So, I have no idea what I weigh today, but that's ok. After this morning, that's more than ok. I ran - the WHOLE time - a 5K today on the treadmill in 38:24.

It's more than ok, because I RAN over 38 minutes. It's more than ok because I RAN 3.11 miles. So for today, I don't care what I weigh. That may change when this high fades, but for today, it's all ok.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-SEVEN- 2/7/2011 7:36AM

    emoticonWhat a great achievement!!

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1MIN17SECB412PM 2/3/2011 6:56PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon That's my girl!! emoticon
emoticon Go Kharah!! Go Kharah!! emoticon
emoticon I can *see* it all NOW!! emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/3/2011 6:58:10 PM

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CBAILEYC 2/3/2011 2:33PM

    That is FABULOUS! Congrats on a great achievement and success!

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ROBBIEMARIE 2/3/2011 1:21PM

    Congrats on a wonderful run. I'm so happy you can feel a huge success without the scale! That's what is important. You are amazing.

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KAREN42BOYS 2/3/2011 1:17PM

    EXCELLENT! that's why you're a runner!

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DJS-DEBBIE 2/3/2011 12:51PM

    That is more than OK, it is

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WTH? I honestly and truly DON'T understand this......

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

First, the results before the ranting:

Weight 1/17/11: 176lbs (+.2lbs from my PERIOD weight and +3 lbs since Friday!)

Measurements: (current/previous/change)
Waist: 34.25 in / 33.5 in / +0.75 in
Chest: 33.5 in / 34.25 in / -0.75 in
Hips: 43.25 in / 43 in / +0.25 in
Bicep: 11.5 / 11.5 in / 0 in
Forearm: 9.75 in / 10 in / -0.25 in
Thigh: 24.75 in / 25 in / -0.25 in
Calf: 16.5 in / 16.5 in / 0 in
Body Fat Percentage: 40.9% / 41.4% / -0.5% change via Omron Full Body Analysis Scale

Ok, so obviously by my title, I'm frustrated. BEYOND frustrated. First of all, in terms of what I've done, this has been an AMAZING month. I have eaten in my calorie range all but a few days ALL month. I have exercised more than I have in the last several months put together. I ran/walked a 5K yesterday in 41 minutes for crying out loud! And in that 5K I only walked 3 minutes total. So, achievement-wise, it's been an amazing month. So, why don't my weight and measurements reflect that? Why am I still within one pound of my weight from the 1st?

Literally three days ago I was 173.4 lbs. Based on that, I would have been tempted to say I had too much sodium or some such nonsense. But the measurements don't lie. I have to believe that my current weight is "accurate." There has been very little change in my measurements since I started this year. What is wrong???? And how do I fix it?

I'm trying to stay positive. After all, I have done so much. I'm just frustrated. And I have an appointment with my gynecologist in 3 weeks. An appointment to discuss options. It's been one year since we started trying to make a baby. And my ability to run is not going to impress my physician if my weight is still this high. I am really at a loss.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NIMAWEYGH 2/2/2011 6:16PM

    The main thing gal is not to give up or get frustrated to the point where you just chuck it all in.

Maybe you can change a few things up and see how that works. You know shake up your body with a different routine or what your eating (add in more portein or more whatever) but the main thing is that your doing great healthy things for your body and your loosing inches.

We are all here for you. Hang in there!!

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1MIN17SECB412PM 2/1/2011 1:46PM

    Ya' know, you're a lot like me (only, I'm not the rocket scientist you are in calculating everything down to the micro-chips) but... in seeing the measurements (regardless the weight) you're losing inches & that's incredible in, & of, itself! Ya' know what else, Kharah?

Our body's don't react to cut n' dried measures like we expect them to. They're organic, and since we're not sitting in any petri dish (that I know of) they are subject to many variables. Your pH could be off, or your *signals* crossed & retained instead of eliminated.

Look at how you ran that 5K!! Incredible!! How did it feel? To your body? Were you invigorated or totally wiped out for the rest of the day? That's a lot of weight to take on in only 3 days. You could be pregnant. Some women can have a period and be pregnant.

Culprits. Got a find 'em. Did you eat anything extra salty these past few days? It could be an infection, that needs minerals, vitamins, or herbs. Just use the processes to find a conclusion, or study other areas you haven't explored. Take these 3 wks to *play* your own doctor, my friend.


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CBAILEYC 2/1/2011 12:13PM

    I hear you, and I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated.

Your 5K? Fabulous, even moreso with so little walking!
Your eating well? Excellent, and so important!
Your change in body fat? Great, and overall impressive!

Your body IS changing, responding to your efforts, just not in the tangible way that we all crave to see. Don't give up. And don't discount your hard work, no matter what the doctor says.

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ROBBIEMARIE 2/1/2011 11:29AM

    I'm so sorry you are feeling so frustrated. It doesn't make much sense but we both know that this journey doesn't always make a lot of sense. You are doing so many incredibly great things for your body in an effort to reach all your goals so don't give up. I'm glad you are seeing your doctor soon. Perhaps he/she will have some thoughts to help clear up the frustrations. Have you ever had a complete workup for PCOS? (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) It makes losing weight and getting pregnant an issue. It CAN be handled and helped. I shouldn't even bring it up but I know many young women (including my daughters) do have issues with it. Good luck with the doctor. If I was him/her I would be very impressed with your running!!!!

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BAM0827 2/1/2011 10:34AM

    Some times we just son't have the answers. You know (although feelings can override any knowledge) that doing everything "right" doesn't always refelect on the scale.

I bet your doctor will be impressed that you're exercising and eating right. S/he knows that a scale only is a slight measurement of health. I wonder if your blood work (if you're getting anything done), blood pressure, etc has improved?

I usually see very little change in measurement month to month. Half inch here and there every month adds up, though. When I see people losing an inch a month consistently I really wonder if we're measuring the same way :)

You'll get there. It's a long process, build those healthy habits.

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BLUEBIOCAT2 2/1/2011 10:06AM

  I don't know what to say...and I don't know what your other health problems are (fertility problems?) but could you be pregnant???
Keep going because you are seeing results...your body fat % has dropped. I know how you feel, my weight wasn't changing but people kept saying I had lost weight. So I looke smaller to others but I want the scale to show a smaller me!
Don't give up, don't give in to frustration...your goal is awesome! A baby!

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The Battle for Sleep

Saturday, January 29, 2011

One of the challenges this week in one of my teams is to write a blog with helpful hints for sleeping well. Oh, how that hits home for me! I have struggled with insomnia most of my life. I've had horrific nightmares that wake me up and keep me up at night. I've had trouble shutting my brain off and therefore had issues falling asleep. I've had restless sleep. You name it; I've struggled with it. Not sleeping is HORRIBLE. Then you take the fact that the less sleep I get, the less controlled (HUGE understatement there!) my depression is. Oh, and there's this thing with hospital nursing called night-turn.....don't even get me started there.

After all that negativity, let me just say that I think I am - and have been for about ~1 year - winning the battle against my insomnia. Here's what's working for me now:

1) Exercise, exercise, exercise! The more energy my body expends during the day, the less it has to expend at night. At least, that's my theory. The one caveat with exercise though? I cannot do anything that would qualify as a workout within 2-3 hours of bedtime. It has the opposite effect then. Prior to that, though, anything goes. This tip is the most important one I can recommend.

2) A Do-Not-Disturb feature on your phone. Growing up, I couldn't find an alarm clock that I couldn't sleep through (once I finally got to sleep). However, there has never been a phone that I COULD sleep through. This fact led to two things: a. my alarm is my cell phone and b. the DND feature on both my cell and my home phone that is a MUST in my bedroom. I think that's pretty self-explanatory.

3) When all else fails, I reach for some valerian root. I had tried melatonin and benadryl, but both left me groggy and foggy the next day. Also, while the benadryl would help me sleep, the melatonin wasn't even effective for me. That's not to say that everyone would have the same experience (melatonin works wonders for my hubby), but for me, it just doesn't work. Soooo, my doctor recommended I try valerian root. If you like tea and/or the ritual of steeping/drinking a cup helps, it is available as a tea. Also, it's available orally in pill form. I tried it, and it works perfectly for me - with no "hangover" the next day. Remember, especially on this point, this herb works FOR ME. I'm NOT suggesting that everyone go out and buy it. I am only saying that - if you can't find anything else that does work - you may want to give it a try.

So that's it. Those are my tips. They are the weapons in my arsenal to keep my insomnia at bay.


Oh, and I just realized that I didn't post my weight and measurements for last week. I will make sure to post this week's on Monday! And then, this week becomes a challenge.......(more on that later)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROBBIEMARIE 1/29/2011 11:11PM

    Ahhhhh, sleep, I love sleep. heehee Don't we all. I went through a period of time years ago with not falling asleep or waking up and not being able to go back to sleep. I learned a lot of tricks including: a cool, dark room; no digital lights shining anywhere even if I had to cover them; a hot bath before bed to set that internal clock; a pad of paper next to my bed for when I awaken and can't sleep because I have to remember something for the morning - write it down even if it's scribble (lights off!!) you'll know what you wrote in the morning.... I could go on..... Hope sleep continues to find you.

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1MIN17SECB412PM 1/29/2011 7:43PM

    ooh! I have used (and have on hand) the Valerian Root Tincture. It is stored in a dark amber glass bottle with a glass eye-dropper type of dispenser, and the drops are administered under the tongue. It's made with an orgaically distilled grain alcohol & stored in a dark cool place, to preserve it's potency.

BUT... I've only used it for headaches or pain- not knowing it could be used for sleep disorders AND... I didn't know you could get it in a tea!! Thanks for sharing, sweet Kharah!! ::hugs::

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DIVAMORGAN83 1/29/2011 6:54PM

    Thank You...I take melatonin to help me..but if it wears off, then I may try the Valerian root.

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Who would ever have thought my gym partner would be my grandma?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

So, I didn't go back and finish that particular run from Monday. And I took Tues-Thurs off, too. UGH. BUT, I got back on the horse, so to speak on Friday. And boy did I ever! Went to the Y on Friday with my grandma (more on that in a bit) where I ran for 30 minutes (9 running/1 walking x3) and did ~30 minutes of strength training. Parts of me are still a bit sore today. At least it's a "nice" sore!

Anyways, back to the Y. And back to the fact that my grandmother is my new gym partner. That still seems foreign to me..... Anyways, my grandmother is legally blind (can't drive, etc) and walks with a walker. However, she's still a spunky ol' gal that wants to be as active as she can be. Here we are at Christmas:

Well, she qualifies for a couple of things. 1) she qualifies for a free membership to the Y via the Silver Sneakers program and 2) BECAUSE she can't drive or walk without assistance, she qualifies for a "companion" who comes with her to the Y - again, without charge. We just discovered that on Friday. Gram chose two ladies (my mother and me) to put on her account. Which means if I take her, I get in free. If my mom takes her, SHE gets in free. All that to say.....if Gram wants to go to the Y, who am I to say no if I'm free? And if I'm taking her anyways, why not really make the time count? It's a win-win for both of us. emoticon

The crazy part of it all, though? It's possible (if things work out well with Gram and such) that I could actually take part in my "workout dream"! What's a workout dream, you ask? It's that one thing that you would absolutely love to achieve that for some reason or another seems just out of reach. For example, it could be a marathon. Or a competition. Or, in my case, a triathlon. Why does that seem out of reach to me? Because I have - strike that - HAD no place to train for the swimming portion. I am not committing to anything yet, but once this 5k is over and IF this YMCA thing sticks with Gram (she has a habit of letting things slide after a bit.....hmmm, must run in the family emoticon), I may start to consider it.

So, what's your workout dream?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

8THTIMEUP 2/5/2011 3:19PM

    What a wonderful blessing to have your grandma to go work out with you! I would love to spend a day working out with mine. She would have loved the Y!

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ANYA_ONION 1/26/2011 10:00AM

    emoticon pic of the two of you! How great is this, spending time with your grandma AND working toward your dream! My dream is to be able to run. I'd like to make it all the way around Como Lake. Now I just need to get these 50-year-old knees to co-operate.

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DISPATCH91 1/26/2011 9:56AM

    How wonderful for both of you. I know each one of my grandchildren are so very dear to me, it means a lot to your grandmother for you two to go together.


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1MIN17SECB412PM 1/24/2011 8:01PM

    This is such a PRECIOUS picture!! emoticon for the grandma!! This definitely IS a emoticon *W*I*N* *** *W*I*N* girlfriend, and what a *L*U*C*K*Y* girl you are too, to have this opportunity to make yourself some PRICELESS memories & have your *D*R*E*A*M* come true!! emoticon

WOW! I never had that question asked, Kharah!! emoticon My workout dream........ HOKEY SMOKEY!! I never ever even thought of what my workout dream would be!! My workout dream........ Clearly I'm in SHOCK. I don't know!! emoticon emoticon emoticon I will NOW have to sit n' ponder this *NEW* concept- that I could actually HAVE a workout dream!!

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CBAILEYC 1/24/2011 1:15PM

    This is great, for all of you! How fabulous that the Y offers such a program.

Fabulous, too, that you can start working toward that dream of yours! Right now, I can't think of a dream of mine, except to keep going LOL I'll have to stew on this a bit.

Great blog!

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DEVORA4 1/24/2011 6:19AM

  I saw the title of your blog and knew I had to read it. I NEVER had a grandma like thar and I am Jealous. I loved my grams but she was always an old lady. I loved her pic. Possible to see the joy of life in her face!

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AMJSATURN 1/23/2011 11:06PM

    That is awesome perk for you, mom and grandma. I say let's encourage grandma to keep going.

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LYNNANN43 1/23/2011 9:35PM

    How wonderful grandma, you, & your mother!

Which Y do you guys go to?

Have fun together! emoticon

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KAREN42BOYS 1/23/2011 8:07PM

    woohoo! that is just delightful. so you'll be pestering your grandma to go to the y. and yeah, a tri boggles and seduces the imagination. i totally get that! now you'll have to hang out at active.com to choose your tri!

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KELHOOV 1/23/2011 7:53PM

    That is so awesome 4 u n your grandmother. Best of luck 2 the both of u!!!!!!!!!

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ROBBIEMARIE 1/23/2011 7:34PM

    What a wonderful way to spend some time with your grandma and be able to get in a good workout! I hope you can both motivate each other to get to the Y and use this wonderful opportunity. While you have the chance get in that pool and start with the laps. Start thinking more about that tri! I've done a couple and feel such a sense of accomplishment at the finish line.

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BAM0827 1/23/2011 6:15PM

    What fun! Good quality time, too!

I keep saying I want to swim more but haven't done it. Maybe after the 1/2 marathon.

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DBKLINKNER 1/23/2011 5:51PM

    Love the Y...maybe you and gram can motivate each other whenever the other is less than enthusiastic!

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