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DARK_CINDERELLA's Recent Blog Entries
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Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Before I start, let me apologize if this sounds like it's rambling or unintelligible. My thoughts are scattered, and I'm emotional. And this is probably whiny and venting, so just a warning.
First off, I hate being sick. I hate it because it makes me weak. I hate it because it turns me into a big baby. And I don't know what to do with myself. And I don't know what to do with other people.
I'm always the strong one. I always take care of everyone else, but when I'm sick, I really just want to be taken care of. I regress like you wouldn't even believe. And because it's so out of character for me, people don't know how to take care of me. Brian tries, and he does a very good job at what he does. But I'm still left in bed, crying, unable to do even a fraction of what I normally do.
I was in the hospital this week from Monday at noon to last evening. I was severely dehydrated, and some of my electrolytes were low. They gave me about two liters of fluid and 20 meq of potassium IV. They gave me medicine to calm my stomach (btw, zofran is the best drug in the world, in my opinion right now). Physically, it was wonderful. Emotionally, not so much. I was embarrassed to be admitted to the hospital in which I am a nurse. I was alone most of the time. My mom stopped by for about 20 minutes, and Brian stopped by for about 15 in the evening and 10 before he went to work yesterday morning. Otherwise, I was alone. And lonely. And apparently, I was gray. And ill. And my normally large, 16G veins were hiding. And the first IV site blew in CT. And still, there were nurses that came in and made comments like "some people will do ANYTHING to get the holiday off." Which, by the way, I didn't. My doctor left it up to me when I wanted to go back to work, so, because I felt so guilty, I said tomorrow. But who says that? Who doesn't realize that that kind of comment isn't helpful??? Especially when those same nurses were the ones who said I matched the sheets when I came in?
Still yet, I can't even take a shower without getting mildly dizzy or short of breath. I'm frustrated and upset, and I feel like people think I'm faking. I was discharged yesterday with a doctor's excuse for yesterday and today, and my boss just called me about 1/2 hour ago asking if I was coming in today. And then she said - and I quote - "I wanted to make sure you were coming in tomorrow because I didn't want to have to find coverage for tomorrow, too, since now I have to find coverage for today." Am I overreacting? Is that a normal response? I gave them the slip yesterday afternoon before I even left the hospital. The supervisors knew I was going to be off today. How did my boss miss that??? Do people really believe people pretend to get sick so they can get holidays off? Strike that; I know they do. But do they really believe people go to the hospital just to get holidays off?? I lost about 5 lbs in a week. And, no, I was not exercising; I was not watching what I ate...... My sodium and potassium were down. I WAS NOT FAKING!
Again, I'm sorry. I am really emotional right now. And I'm not very good at talking about all this, so I'm writing it. Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
To post my measurements Monday! I did them but just never posted them, so here they are:
Weight 11/15/10: 178lbs
Measurements (11/15/10) / Previous / Change:
Waist: 32.75 inches / 33.75 in / -1 in
Chest: 33.5 inches / 34 in / -0.5 in
Hips: 43.75 inches / 44.25 in / -0.5 in
Bicep: 12 inches / 11.5 in / +0.5 in
Forearm: 10 inches / 10 in / 0
Thigh: 25.5 inches / 25.5 in / 0
Calf: 16.75 inches / 17.25 in / -0.5 in
Body Fat Percentage: 25.2 / 24.2% / +1% (according to healthcentral.com)
Still seeing some progress. Just wish it were faster. I will post more feelings and evaluations either tomorrow (short day at work) or Friday when I have more time. Just wanted to throw these up while I remembered!
Saturday, November 06, 2010
So, yeah, weighed in at 181.6, but I'm not worried. In fact, I even kind of expected it. Why, you ask? Did I splurge all week? Did I sit on the couch all week?
I am happy to report that no, I did not eat my way through a McDonald's restaurant.  In fact, the only day I went over on calories this week was yesterday. Instead of my 1200-1500, I ate 1935 calories. Also, included in that 1935 was 3384mg of sodium. We ate Chinese for dinner last night (date night for me and the hubby), but I had even planned for that. What put me over was an incredible attack of the munchies about 3PM. I just had to have chocolate covered pretzels. As in, NEEDED to have them. Or so I thought. It also just so happened that I "needed" them when there were men here to inspect the house - men who gave an estimate of $10,000 to fix our foundation. Emotional eating, anyone? 
Oh, and the other part of the equation? The exercise part? I did cardio 4 times this week for a total of 120 minutes (so far, not counting today....) and strength training once for a total of 30 minutes.  THAT is why, in addition to yesterday's sodium, I am not surprised about my gain today. I really am committed to this venture of 10 lbs in 10 weeks and have made the appropriate changes this week. If I keep it up, I WILL succeed.
Add to all that the fact that I was down 1.8lbs earlier this week, and I really feel confident.
And to really keep myself honest and in check, we will see Monday if my measurements reflect what I'm saying here. Stay tuned. Until then, no, I'm not worried.
Monday, November 01, 2010
Oh, wait, that's another day and another story....
As for today, I've discovered something about myself. I've discovered that it takes the worry of losing money to get myself motivated again. What does that say about me? And do I care what it says about me? Nah, not really. I'll take anything at this point. So here goes. I put $5 down on the investment that I WILL lose 10 lbs in 10 weeks. And just to keep me honest, here are my current stats:
Starting Weight: 180.6lbs (10/30/10)
Measurements (11/1/10):
Waist: 35 inches
Chest: 34.5 inches
Hips: 44 inches
Bicep: 12 inches
Forearm: 10 inches
Thigh: 25.75 inches
Calf: 17 inches
Body Fat Percentage: 34%
I'm going to be so happy when those numbers start trending down......
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