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Overemotional, so no fancy blog title today

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Before I start, let me apologize if this sounds like it's rambling or unintelligible. My thoughts are scattered, and I'm emotional. And this is probably whiny and venting, so just a warning.

First off, I hate being sick. I hate it because it makes me weak. I hate it because it turns me into a big baby. And I don't know what to do with myself. And I don't know what to do with other people.

I'm always the strong one. I always take care of everyone else, but when I'm sick, I really just want to be taken care of. I regress like you wouldn't even believe. And because it's so out of character for me, people don't know how to take care of me. Brian tries, and he does a very good job at what he does. But I'm still left in bed, crying, unable to do even a fraction of what I normally do.

I was in the hospital this week from Monday at noon to last evening. I was severely dehydrated, and some of my electrolytes were low. They gave me about two liters of fluid and 20 meq of potassium IV. They gave me medicine to calm my stomach (btw, zofran is the best drug in the world, in my opinion right now). Physically, it was wonderful. Emotionally, not so much. I was embarrassed to be admitted to the hospital in which I am a nurse. I was alone most of the time. My mom stopped by for about 20 minutes, and Brian stopped by for about 15 in the evening and 10 before he went to work yesterday morning. Otherwise, I was alone. And lonely. And apparently, I was gray. And ill. And my normally large, 16G veins were hiding. And the first IV site blew in CT. And still, there were nurses that came in and made comments like "some people will do ANYTHING to get the holiday off." Which, by the way, I didn't. My doctor left it up to me when I wanted to go back to work, so, because I felt so guilty, I said tomorrow. But who says that? Who doesn't realize that that kind of comment isn't helpful??? Especially when those same nurses were the ones who said I matched the sheets when I came in?

Still yet, I can't even take a shower without getting mildly dizzy or short of breath. I'm frustrated and upset, and I feel like people think I'm faking. I was discharged yesterday with a doctor's excuse for yesterday and today, and my boss just called me about 1/2 hour ago asking if I was coming in today. And then she said - and I quote - "I wanted to make sure you were coming in tomorrow because I didn't want to have to find coverage for tomorrow, too, since now I have to find coverage for today." Am I overreacting? Is that a normal response? I gave them the slip yesterday afternoon before I even left the hospital. The supervisors knew I was going to be off today. How did my boss miss that??? Do people really believe people pretend to get sick so they can get holidays off? Strike that; I know they do. But do they really believe people go to the hospital just to get holidays off?? I lost about 5 lbs in a week. And, no, I was not exercising; I was not watching what I ate...... My sodium and potassium were down. I WAS NOT FAKING!

Again, I'm sorry. I am really emotional right now. And I'm not very good at talking about all this, so I'm writing it. Thanks for reading.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN42BOYS 11/25/2010 7:06PM

    I'm sorry you are so miserable right now. I hope the healing starts soon.

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RUNNINGWILD 11/25/2010 1:22AM

    I'd report the nurse. Maybe she thought that she was being funny but that just wasn't. As for your boss, all I can say is GRRR - way to inspire moral.
Take care, rest and get better. Shag them!

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CBAILEYC 11/24/2010 4:49PM

    I think you have every reason to vent - and it's not whining, not at all!

I'm so sorry you're not well and struggling with work and their demands. I'm voting for (what? we don't get a vote? Try and stop me!) Doctor Annie's recommendations there.

Above all, take care of yourself, get your fluids, rest and recover. Lots of healing thoughts and karma coming your way hon.

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NIMAWEYGH 11/24/2010 4:47PM

    Oh sweets I am so sorry your getting this CRAP from your co-workers. But having worked as a phlebotomist for yrs in the hosp I can tell you our fellow co-workers are always the hardest to please.

Your sick gal. If you were not sick you would have taken care of yourself at home took a day off and been back. NO ONE goes to the hospital and has IV's and stays in those HARD beds unless they are sick.

You need to call your supervisor and tell her your still sick. You will not be in tomorrow and maybe not Friday either but you will let her know. You hate it that she has to find coverage on such short notice but you just are not well enough to come back to work yet.

And by the way, you might mention that NO ONE feels good on even a holiday when they are sick.

Do not let this get you down or stress you out any more cause you will only be sicker. Stay home rest, drink plenty of fluids and call Doctor Annie if you need anything. :-)

PS My DH loves Zofran as well, he takes it along with is morphine.

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1MIN17SECB412PM 11/24/2010 2:20PM

    OMG!! Jenn, don't you EVEN think about walking into work, in your condition!! I know you're one tough Wonder Woman, girl. I've watched you- your blogs- the teams you choose, for two years, sooo... NO- - - I'm gonna' say a NEGATIVE on that 'fake' accusation, and just soz' we're CLEAR on this, Kharah, it's nurses that DUMP all that guilt vibe on ya' that give nursing a BAD name!! Use the logical side a' yer' brain (I know you can interchange, but just 'do' the logic right now...) and... in your PROFESSIONAL opinion, would you excuse or demand that your patient goes back to work?!! You would NOT!! Sooo... in MY opinion, don't you even make yourself available for ANY of that backwash- that... "I had to *cover* for you," CRAP!! That's WHY she's the super & yer' not. SHE either gets the *coverage* or gets her butt out there & does the *covering* & if SHE can't 'do' her job, SHE needs to step down!! humph!! This really FRIES me, not to mention SCARES the ____ out a' me that you've gone through this... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not take phone calls from any of them... have it set to an answering machine stating that due to severe health issues, only messages will be taken, and that when the recovery is complete, only then will the calls be returned. P.E.R.I.O.D. my sweet dearest!! DEEP BREATH. Get your nose in a book and FORGET about this world!! That's Doctor Annie's prescription, so be *good* for me, & don't give me any grief, k?!! ::hugs & kisses::

Comment edited on: 11/24/2010 2:28:04 PM

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KASHMIR 11/24/2010 1:45PM

    Whoa! Sounds to me like there is some serious work needed on your co-workers with their bedside manner! I wonder if they would say that if one of the Dr's on staff was admitted. The only thing I can think of is fear on their part...if this could happen to you, it can happen to them.
As for your boss...again...Bedside Manner training!!! EVERYONE knows you don't get admitted into hospital unless it's an absolute nescessity, especially people who work there...unless you are rich! It just doesn't happen.
I'm sorry you are dealing with some brainless people. Go right ahead and cry, but Please get your fluids down!

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HPTHATBME 11/24/2010 1:13PM

    emoticon emoticon I am sorry that everyone at work thinks you are faking. I do hope you get well soon!

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Oops, I forgot......

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

To post my measurements Monday! I did them but just never posted them, so here they are:

Weight 11/15/10: 178lbs

Measurements (11/15/10) / Previous / Change:
Waist: 32.75 inches / 33.75 in / -1 in
Chest: 33.5 inches / 34 in / -0.5 in
Hips: 43.75 inches / 44.25 in / -0.5 in
Bicep: 12 inches / 11.5 in / +0.5 in
Forearm: 10 inches / 10 in / 0
Thigh: 25.5 inches / 25.5 in / 0
Calf: 16.75 inches / 17.25 in / -0.5 in
Body Fat Percentage: 25.2 / 24.2% / +1% (according to healthcentral.com)

Still seeing some progress. Just wish it were faster. I will post more feelings and evaluations either tomorrow (short day at work) or Friday when I have more time. Just wanted to throw these up while I remembered!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1MIN17SECB412PM 11/18/2010 9:47AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

*\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/**\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/*
*\o/* I'm sooo PROUD of yer' journey, Jenn!! *\o/*
*\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/**\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/*

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/18/2010 9:49:20 AM

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SERENEMOM71 11/18/2010 8:13AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GLOWORM1963 11/17/2010 9:27PM

    Good for you ~ How long did it take you to accomplish this and what have you been doing?

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Moment of Truth

Monday, November 08, 2010

Was I right in the amount of progress I made? Did my hard work from last week pay off? Let's see:

Weight 11/8/10: 180.4lbs (-.2)

Measurements (11/8/10) / Previous / Change:
Waist: 33.75 inches / 35 in / -1.25 in
Chest: 34 inches / 34.5 in / -0.5 in
Hips: 44.25 inches / 44 in / +0.25 in
Bicep: 11.5 inches / 12 in / -0.5 in
Forearm: 10 inches / 10 in / 0
Thigh: 25.5 inches / 25.75 in / -0.25 in
Calf: 17.25 inches / 17 in / +0.25 in
Body Fat Percentage: 24.2% (according to healthcentral.com)

I did not compare body fat percentages because I chose to use a different site. This particular site uses more measurements that at least make me "feel" like it's more accurate.

Ok, now time for evaluation. For the most part, I'm happy! (-1.25 inches in my waist? Yes, please!) But what's the deal with the lower half of my body? My hips AND calves are bigger? Ugh! That's my first reaction. But then I think of how much work I am actually putting in. And I am still able to say it will get better. It has to. There's no choice. So, here's to next week!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN42BOYS 11/17/2010 12:01PM

    I wouldn't worry about the hips and thighs. A quarter of an inch may just mean you're not measuring at the exact same spot as last time. Sounds like you are very much on the right track with the changes you are making!

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SERENEMOM71 11/14/2010 2:14PM

  Keep up the great work! emoticon emoticon work!

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ROBBIEMARIE 11/8/2010 8:57AM

    I see some marvelous progress in those numbers, especially the waist! Keep up the good work.

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1lb gain, but I'm not worried. Yet.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

So, yeah, weighed in at 181.6, but I'm not worried. In fact, I even kind of expected it. Why, you ask? Did I splurge all week? Did I sit on the couch all week?

I am happy to report that no, I did not eat my way through a McDonald's restaurant. emoticon In fact, the only day I went over on calories this week was yesterday. Instead of my 1200-1500, I ate 1935 calories. Also, included in that 1935 was 3384mg of sodium. We ate Chinese for dinner last night (date night for me and the hubby), but I had even planned for that. What put me over was an incredible attack of the munchies about 3PM. I just had to have chocolate covered pretzels. As in, NEEDED to have them. Or so I thought. It also just so happened that I "needed" them when there were men here to inspect the house - men who gave an estimate of $10,000 to fix our foundation. Emotional eating, anyone? emoticon

Oh, and the other part of the equation? The exercise part? I did cardio 4 times this week for a total of 120 minutes (so far, not counting today....) and strength training once for a total of 30 minutes. emoticon THAT is why, in addition to yesterday's sodium, I am not surprised about my gain today. I really am committed to this venture of 10 lbs in 10 weeks and have made the appropriate changes this week. If I keep it up, I WILL succeed.

Add to all that the fact that I was down 1.8lbs earlier this week, and I really feel confident.

And to really keep myself honest and in check, we will see Monday if my measurements reflect what I'm saying here. Stay tuned. Until then, no, I'm not worried.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DJS-DEBBIE 11/7/2010 5:08AM

    I am betting on the sodium too. I know what it does to me...

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LYNNANN43 11/6/2010 10:11PM

    You have such a great attitutude!!!

I'm guessing the sodium alone could have caused the weight gain! Oh Chinese food, we do hate to love you!

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ANNERBEES 11/6/2010 4:44PM

    Good for you to really take a look at the whole picture!!! Sounds like a great week overall and I agree with Robbie, I bet you see a nice loss next week!!! emoticon

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ROBBIEMARIE 11/6/2010 3:03PM

    Love the attitude you have in the realization that you know what happened. Great that you are not overly concerned when you can explain the why. Sodium really plays havoc on my numbers as well. You'll see a nice loss this next week I bet.

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Remember, remember the 1st of November....

Monday, November 01, 2010

Oh, wait, that's another day and another story....

As for today, I've discovered something about myself. I've discovered that it takes the worry of losing money to get myself motivated again. What does that say about me? And do I care what it says about me? Nah, not really. I'll take anything at this point. So here goes. I put $5 down on the investment that I WILL lose 10 lbs in 10 weeks. And just to keep me honest, here are my current stats:

Starting Weight: 180.6lbs (10/30/10)

Measurements (11/1/10):
Waist: 35 inches
Chest: 34.5 inches
Hips: 44 inches
Bicep: 12 inches
Forearm: 10 inches
Thigh: 25.75 inches
Calf: 17 inches
Body Fat Percentage: 34%

I'm going to be so happy when those numbers start trending down......

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1MIN17SECB412PM 11/2/2010 4:37PM

    You can sooo 'do' this Jenn!! I have lost (since Oct 4th) a total of 14 lbs in 4 wks, and if I can 'do' it, there's NO way yer' gonna' *not* get it done, ya' know?!! emoticon

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ROBBIEMARIE 11/2/2010 1:24PM

    With such a great attitude and commitment that $5 will be coming back to you for sure. Certainly counting on ALL OF US to get it returned!

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SERENEMOM71 11/2/2010 2:43AM

  I'm not going to bet you anything, but why don't you join us on PEEL Daily Challenge?
It is a great way to keep yourself honest, gain the support of others, and best of all, ask God daily for help! You can join anytime! emoticon

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