Birthday gift to myself

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Okay... so yesterday was my birthday.

I have been going through a stressful time lately with issues in my life. In the past... when life gets stressful and time is an issue... I bale out of my excercise and fall back into old ways of eating badly and emotional eating. (Not to say I'm eating as well as I should... but I'm eating better than I have in a long time.)

I've decided that my birthday gift to myself is to get healthy and happy.

I'm not happy with the person I am. My self esteem has dropped and I have some drama going on in my family where I'm the topic of discussion... by no means of anything I have done... just for pure pleasure of people who like drama. I hate being talked about, especially when I haven't done anything to cause it. I'm quite upset by it and have tried to fix it... even taking blame for something I never did... but the issue has not gone away. Instead... I worry anytime I'm with friends and family on what they are saying. Surprisingly... I've kept my emotions under control for the most part. I'm not giving into the emotional eating. Instead... I'm using it to my advantage. This week I started taking all the anger and frustration out on my workouts. I've had the best workouts this week!! I'm feeling stronger.

I will not let someone else take away my happiness or my health. I will continue with my workouts even if time has become a challenge. I'll continue to work on me and make me happier and healthier as my gift to myself.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCARLETTPEONY 10/8/2009 1:42PM

Happy Belated birthday! You are gonna be ok. Do not let anyone bring you down. You have so many blessings. People can be evil, but so many want the best for you and want you to succeed on your chosen path. Please do not let the petty, spiteful folks win. You can stand up to them. Wishing you peace and true inner joy. -Amy- Report Inappropriate Comment

LOVESLILACS1 10/8/2009 12:25PM

Some people are only happy when putting down others. Sorry you've become a target. I'm glad you're not stuffing the feelings! Happy belated birthday! Report Inappropriate Comment

SPARQUEE 10/8/2009 2:49AM

I really admire how you are handling this adversity in your life. Way to go woman!! Report Inappropriate Comment

3CATSLEP 10/7/2009 10:26PM

Boy, I have been the topic of my family a while back too. Don't you just hate all that stuff? It's really ridiculous. I'm glad to see that you are giving it the old 1-2 punch and working out. I will keep you in my prayers! This too shall pass! Oh - and happy birthday! Report Inappropriate Comment

BLONDEDOG 10/7/2009 6:07PM

All I really have to say is my favorite quote of all time... "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent"-Eleanor Roosevelt I think this is perfect for your situation! YOu are strong and you will succeed! Believe me, I know the frustration that you're going through, but it sounds like you have your head on straight which is the most important part! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! YOU ROCK!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBBIEANNE1124 10/7/2009 5:06PM

Some people have nothing better to do with their time than to cause trouble and drama. You are too cool, Marsha. A kind woman. You are so wise to not let little tidbits bother you. Happy Birthday again!!! Hugs Debbie Report Inappropriate Comment

CANNOTFATHOM 10/7/2009 4:48PM

Happy belated birthday! Good for you.....you should stand up for yourself! Penny Report Inappropriate Comment

RAINCITYLIZ 10/7/2009 4:36PM

What a wonderful birthday gift to yourself. You have the right attitude. Happy birthday and keep up the good work! Report Inappropriate Comment

A new season

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I find it interesting that it's the first day of fall.

I seem to get a "new attitude" when the seasons change. I like to do some deep cleaning in my house, and I guess some "deep cleaning" within myself. More so this time of year and again in the spring. Maybe it has to do with changing the decorations, putting things away, changing your clothes... I'm not sure. So, to keep with the theme of changes... I've changed my pic and did some sprucing up on my sparks page. I can't lose the pink... it's my fav color.


I do know that I have the motivation right now to change things with my eating and my weight and I'm going to focus on that. What changed this week from last week or the weeks before??? I don't know. Maybe the weather.... maybe I'm just sick of the roller coaster.... but whatever it is.. I hope it continues because I had a really good day with my eating yesterday, and got a workout in despite the busy day.

Thank you to all my friends for the support. I know now, that Sparks plays a big part in me succeeding. I started feeling a bit down yesterday and as soon as I checked my emails and saw responses to my blog.... it lifted me up and gave me the extra nudge I needed to avoid those darn temptations.

I'm so excited that The Biggest Loser has started again too, it seems to give me motivation as well. I'm looking forward to watching tonight. I'm thinking of going to the gym and walking on the treadmill while it's on.

I'm looking forward to today, rather than dreading it like I have these past few months. Thanks again friends!! This journey is so much easier with you by my side.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DBD398 9/23/2009 11:06AM

You've got the right attitude Marsha! I too am getting back into the positive side of this trip. Keep up the good work! Dawn Report Inappropriate Comment

EUGENERUGOSA 9/22/2009 12:03PM

I feel the same way w/ fall finally here & Biggest Loser back on. Glad you had a good day yesterday & here's to many, many more in a row!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBBIEANNE1124 9/22/2009 11:58AM

GO, Marsha! You got what it takes! A great attitude. And you ahve a life ahead of you make the best of each day! Hugs Debbie Report Inappropriate Comment

BLONDEDOG 9/22/2009 11:31AM

Great for you! Fall is my favorite season of all so I definitely can feel a change in the air! Keep up the hard work!!! WE ALL ROCK!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

Today is a new day

Monday, September 21, 2009

I'm tired of starting over. I'm tired of the stress I've been under and giving into the emotional eating....

... today is a new day.

I'm committing to working out and watching my food. I've been working out 3-5 days a week for a few months but I need to get my eating under control. I know I can't do this by cutting out all treats, but I must be more strict with the treats and only allow them once in awhile for me to succeed. I also know that I need sparkspeople.... I have been on here but not daily like I was before. I'm back to trying to get on here daily. It'll be a challenge now that my boys are using the computer a lot more with being back to school and needing it for projects, and hubby using it for work and fantasy football... but I'll find some time to come on here and post.

I have been on this roller coaster for far too long. I now have 27 pounds to lose and will start today.

My birthday is in 2 1/2 weeks and I want to lose 5 pounds by then.... a gift to myself. I know that if I work hard, I can do this. I think it's the best gift I can give myself.

So... today is a new day and I start today to reaching my goals.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBIEANNE1124 9/21/2009 11:49PM

Happy early bird birthday marsha!!! I am confident you can do it (lose the 5 lbs.) Take it one day at a time and the 8 cups of water will wash the pounds out of your system. Debbie Report Inappropriate Comment

3CATSLEP 9/21/2009 7:50PM

Boy, I can relate to that! I started over today also! Keep in touch! Report Inappropriate Comment

VALTOLLE 9/21/2009 1:56PM

Well Buddy this is what I say.... Just go for it! You will lose those lbs. and you will get back on track. I'd like to suggest another strategy for emotional eating. Pick one (most forbidden) thing for a week and when you get that emotional feeling to eat... just do it! Then go to the food tracker and let go. Don't worry about it... you planned it and you ate. Don't deprive yourself of something you want, just eat and track it. We both know that soon you will not want the forbidden food anymore( it's not forbidden because you ate it!), and won't even think about it. This is the way I was about chocolate...oh I had to have it...so at the beginning of the day I let my self have 9 dark chocolate kisses day(180 cals. total) but I could grab them at any point in the day I felt I needed it. Soon, at the end of the day I had some left, so I carried them over to the next day, and so on.... I'm starting again too... we can do the together! Report Inappropriate Comment

DROPPINOS 9/21/2009 10:36AM

A new day a new beginning! You go girl you can do this! Report Inappropriate Comment

BLONDEDOG 9/21/2009 10:14AM

You can do it! Dedicate a little bit of time to finding something that will help you with your emotional eating. It may take a while to figure out and it may change with each different emotion. When I get sad, I eat. So, when I'm sad and feel the need to eat, I just tell myself 10 minutes is all, after 10 minutes if I still feel the need I'll let myself eat something. Then I'll do something I really enjoy like playing outside with my son. More often than not I discover 10 minutes has come and gone and I never touched a bite of food. It doesn't work everytime, but it's a strategy anyway and makes me feel like I'm more in control. Also, planning out healthy snacks for the day helps me a lot! Good luck, you can do this! WE ALL ROCK!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

BBWRN39 9/21/2009 10:09AM

This is the day that the Lord has made.....I will rejoice and be glad in it. Report Inappropriate Comment

A sad day... stepping down as team leader

Monday, June 08, 2009

I apologize, but I'm going to step down as Co-team leader of the EE team. I never asked for the job.... but was more than happy to take it on.

Life has gotten too crazy for me. Literally running my head off Mon-Friday from 5 am til I fall into bed at 10!! I have 2 kids that are very active in extra curriculars and that means I'm flying around from the time I pick them up from school til we get home at 9 pm. I get them settled into bed and go to bed myself. I hardly have time to do any errands or catch any tv or computer time. Weekends are spent away from home, catching up from the week or sharing the computer with the 3 other people in my family.

I just don't have the time that I should be giving to my team. I have finally been able to get workouts in again and post my food/excercise this past week again on a regular basis. I have posted to a few of the posts that have been posted... as much as time would allow... but as it was brought to my attention... it's not enough to be a team leader, so I feel it best to step down.

I'm so sorry for not fullfilling my obligation to you. Best wishes to you all on your journey to a healthy life. You have all been an inpsiration to me!

Hugs,
Marsha

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 6/12/2009 1:43PM

You will do fine! Report Inappropriate Comment

3CATSLEP 6/8/2009 10:51PM

I hope you will still be keeping in touch! I have many more goodies to give you! Thanks for all of your kind words and inspiration! Do what you need to do. You can always stop by for a chat, Laura Report Inappropriate Comment

SASSY_QUEEN 6/8/2009 8:34PM

Marsha...don't feel guilty....we appreciate all you did for us while you could. We all have real life things that are more important than being on the computer.....I wish you well and so glad we got to meet. Good luck in keeping healthy......best wishes....until we meet again.....the Queen Report Inappropriate Comment

KAREN1953 6/8/2009 4:49PM

what team were you the leader of? take care karen Report Inappropriate Comment

KAMPER1 6/8/2009 2:22PM

I totally understand, there is just not enough hours in the day. Thank you for all your help, support and inspiration - I hope to see you though on the boards! Good luck! Hugs, Jennifer Report Inappropriate Comment

SPARQUEE 6/8/2009 12:25PM

You are not leaving the team are you? You have been a fantastic leader and an inspiration to me many times. Please don't feel you have failed. As long as you are still here and offering your encouraging words when you can, you are still a winner in my eyes. Family has to come first. That's the way life is. I am fortunate in that my kids are grown already or I would be in the same situation you are. You need to do what is best for you. I really hope to see you posting from time to time. Take care of yourself and your family. Report Inappropriate Comment

LFLFLPLP 6/8/2009 12:11PM

We will still be here for you the way you were here for us. Life is more than sparkpeople even though it is making our lives so much better. Maybe this will make your journey easier but it's sad for us to not have you as a leader. I know you made an impression on me and I'm sure many others, so THANK YOU!! Report Inappropriate Comment

GOING2LOSENOW 6/8/2009 11:31AM

Famiy is important- you need to take care of them. You will be missed, but not forgotten. Take care, Tina Report Inappropriate Comment

DANSNQUEEN 6/8/2009 11:24AM

I appreciate all the wonderful comments. I did not want to leave. I was asked to leave for lack of participation. I'm sorry for letting you all down. I was here when I could be... and when I was here... I was here a lot. I can't apologize for having a family. I do apologize for not fufilling my obligation here though. What makes me so sad is that now... when life is hectic... is when I need to be here the most. I feel like I'm losing family. Thank you to each and every one of you for all you have done for me. I would've given up a long time ago without all the support I have gotten here. I am determined to reach my goals.... it's not been an easy road for me... and will continue to be a struggle. I'm not giving up and neither should any of you. Best wishes to the best "family" I could ask for!! This is truely the only place I felt like I was really "understood". Friends and family in my day to day life don't struggle with weightloss issues as I do and I feel so much better to know I have friends/family here who know what I'm going through. Thank you!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

SPARKLINJEWELLS 6/8/2009 11:06AM

you have been wonderful!! don't for a minute think you haven't been there for others-- i know you've always been there for me! i know that someday- i'm gonna get a life- and then spark will need to take a back seat enjoy your kids-- these days can not be brought back! Report Inappropriate Comment

LINDA! 6/8/2009 10:38AM

You will be missed. But I certainly understand. It's tough when you are raising a family and have a lot to do!!! Take care, Linda Report Inappropriate Comment

TANYA210 6/8/2009 10:37AM

You have done a great job for this team. Good luck with your healthy journey. I hope we will still see you on here. Tanya Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBBIEANNE1124 6/8/2009 10:34AM

Best of luck to you marsha. thanks for all you did. Hugs 'Debbie Report Inappropriate Comment

A new month... a new start

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I have been very down the past couple of weeks. I thought I had hit bottom and was ready to climb my way back up... but I seemed much worse this weekend. I'm finally feeling better. I had a heart to heart with my best friend and have decided that I am letting certain things and certain people get to me.

I need to stop and focus on one day at a time rather than the 20 pounds I have to lose. I need to not have so many expectations of myself because if I fail at one... it makes it hard to try to succeed on the others. I have to allow myself some treats because cutting them all out seems to cause me to majorly binge when I do allow myself some.

I'm going to set some daily goals for myself and only look at the day rather than by a week. When I have a bad day... I have a hard time turning it around... I look at that one day rather than the rest of the week. Maybe this will help.

Tomorrow is the start of a new month and I'm going to set a challenge for myself that runs daily and see how that goes. I would love to lose 10 pounds. We'll see what happens.

Here are my goals for April:

*KEEP A FOOD JOURNAL
*FOCUS ON ON GOAL PER DAY
*WORKOUT 5 DAYS WEEK
*HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE ABOUT SOMETHING EVERYDAY

I am NOT going to beat myself up... I'm going to take this day by day.

It's a new month and I'm making a new start!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 4/1/2009 12:01PM

I've taken PROZAC for 14 years and it helps me feel "normal' and not like I'm down in a hole I can't get out of. Report Inappropriate Comment

BETRME100 4/1/2009 10:25AM

I'm right there with you...had to re-evaluate what I'd been doing and set some new goals for myself (along with rewards). Let's make April our new beginning! Kit Report Inappropriate Comment

SPARKLINJEWELLS 4/1/2009 9:34AM

i think maybe we're a bit in the same place need to let go of the past, not look at what we did or didn't do, and just need to look forward, take it day by day i'm with you-- let's have a great april- so that maybe- just maybe-- we'll see spring by may, and we'll be ready for it a lil more fit!! Report Inappropriate Comment

VALCRIS 4/1/2009 12:49AM

Sending you positive energy...may life turn the corner to better for you soon Hugs, Valeria Report Inappropriate Comment

BUTTERFLYEMERGE 3/31/2009 11:39PM

Good for you!!! YOU are soooooo worth taking care of!!! Hugs, Cathy Report Inappropriate Comment