Wednesday, August 10, 2011
After reading plenty of blogs and status' this morning I am inspired. All of my SparkFriends- through their struggles, letdowns, successes, trials, personal issues, over eating, major weight loss, change of lifestyle- are amazing. We are all here for our own reasons, but we can support each other because we empathize.
I remember starting out in October with such vigor and dedication. I am the kind of person who had trouble finishing things- and/or finishing them well. So I noticed that every time I was getting close to a goal I would slack. Throw my WW points and calorie ranges out the window.
Also I have realized that this summer there have been way too many "off weekends". Weekends like that included my birthday/memorial day weekend, camping trip, friend visiting from out of town, Summerfest, nights out drinking and so on. And I realized a few nights ago that- DUH!! These are the kinds of hurdles I need to jump OVER, not duck under and forget my new lifestyle.
I am not coming down too hard on myself for not being as perfect as my best friend has been. Or for not running as fast as some of my Sparkfriends, or eating as cleanly as certain people. I'm not going to focus on what I haven't done well, but what I have. My success isn't measured against anyone else's. Yes sometimes I feel inadequate compared to other people- like i COULD do better. But then I wouldn't be me along this jurney- I wouldn't be doing it MY way- In a way that I will STICK TO for the rest of my life.
I take in suggestions and I LOVE the support I get from specifically BONOLICIOUS, FRUITYCHERRY, BETTERJULIA and recently NETGYRL. You guys keep me going more than you know! I love to see other people enjoying their new-found health. I sure am.
I have slackened my grip on losing weight recently just because life has happened. And I feel guilty when ti comes to my health and weight- but seriously laugh out loud when i think of all the crazy things that have happened this summer. So I can't let myself have regrets.
Now that there are maybe 1 or two things happening yet before Labor Day I am focused as HELL to lose 20 lbs by October 14th. Like focused to the point of almost working out twice a day. Haha ALMOST. We will see. My first step is to reign in my potions and snacking. Today is treat day and it's a good one too. Tortilla chips with fiesta dip (sr cream taco zesty mix OMG) and chocolate chip cookies. But I have my blueberries and awesome spaghetti to eat throughout the day. I might have one cookie since they're my fav. But I will track it and not let it become invisible.
Here is what I have on my mirror at work. I see it and it makes me refocus on what my priorities are.
I'm a tough love kind of person. But things that I have accomplished since last October:
*running a 5K 3X a week
*Doing the arc trainer for 45min
*no more lower back pains (except TOM)
*down to a size 16/18 / L shirt
*I have muscles
*I have run outside
*i sweat a LOT and love it
*vegetables I eat daily
*have tried upwards of 15 new recipes
*I am happy
*I have energy
*I smile when I see myself in the mirror
*I can curl up on the couch
*I could probably LIFT the couch now
*I have a regular workout schedule and version of it depending on my focus for the week
*I worry about getting enough protein and fiber (FTW?!)
*I dated/ feel more comfortable meeting people
*I don't feel stuck in a rut or bored with life anymore
*I have goals- things to work toward
*I want to subscribe to Runners World
*I WANT to eventually run a half marathon
*I have pushed my body and surprised myself
*My original workout spandex pants are finally getting too big
*Almost all of my original shirts are too big
*over half of my closet is now at Goodwill
*1/4 of my new closet is FROM Goodwill haha
*2 pairs of jeans in my normal rotation are my little sister's old jeans (WOW moment)
*The only "fast food" I ever get is Tbell- maybe 3x a month (used to be 5x/week)
*bracelets are now my friends!
*looks like my boobs have been deflated... :( still D's, but now just sad looking....
*my feet aren't WIDEs anymore
*I can walk up stairs (and I do daily) without needing to pause at the top
*I have impressed people (shallowly I really enjoy that)
All you need is love! Stop fretting about the details and just enjoy being healthy and active. And actually BE healthy and active. Might as well enjoy this ride :)
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
Last weekend was probably the best of my summer. And could be the worst gain of it also. I ate and drank, ate and drank, danced, drank, ate, slept, walked, danced, drank repeat!
I didn't work out from Thursday-Sunday and it was so nice to get back into it yesterday. I ran about 3.75 miles and walked .75mi throughout. Total of 4.5 miles. Not terrible- though my time was not the best. But that can be expected after a weekend of smoking a pack and a half of cigarettes. Yes I did. Its a bummer too because I am letting mostly myself down. It's not a habit again, I bought a pack because I really wanted them when we went out. Which- yes- terrible I know. Then it was just.... I wanted them because I drank pretty much the entire weekend. BUT I am done. I think that smoking is going to be something that will haunt me the rest of my life. It was an honest to god addiction and I do get cravings. I guess I have been very weak in the will-power department. This picture is very motivating:
I stole it from one of my Sparkfriends' pages. Thanks! haha.
I am happy to be back on track. I know I need to really amp up my dedication to WW points and Spark tracking. I also need to kick up my workouts a bit more. I have made very small progress since May in my running and I think it's time to really push myself to decrease my pace times. I want to eventually be able to have a COMFORTABLE pace of 10min mile or less. Right now I am at a 12:15min mile. But where my comfort zone used to be going at 4.7mph, now I am at 4.9mph. I do need to stop and walk for 90 seconds when doing a 5K at that pace.
October 14th- that is the one year point! And until then I am on a mission. I want to sign up for a few Spark Streaks to keep me in check. Anyone have a few good ones? Mostly to help me with eating habits- and MOSTLY on the weekends. That's where I run into trouble. Mostly it's just me battling with my willpower- and I want to get down to 200 so badly now that I think it's going to be a no-brainer to not stray. I need to plan out my meals and make sure I have healthy snacks at work.
Last night I made a FANTASTIC dinner for myself. I made a baked potato w/ cheese and rubbed with grapeseed oil and salt. That was just an afterthought to my main course. One of my favorite meals is the Bertolli Mediterranean Chicken w/ broccoli. I LOVE the garlic sauce. So what I made last night:
2 lbs of boneless chix breast, cut into chunks, salted and pepper
(toss all the below in a bowl so everything is coated evenly)
half a red pepper and yellow pepper
2 garlic cloves diced
one medium zucchini cut into strips
2 tbs Grapeseed oil
(to taste) celery salt, basil, thyme, chives, garlic salt, pepper.
Throw in the chicken just to where it's halfway cooked, then add in the veggie/herb/oil mix.
Toss in pan until chicken is cooked. I cooked it all just a tad too long and my veggies were too soft. Cook on medium. There ends up being a decent amount of juice which is actually a super tasty sauce! Top with desired amount of Parmesan cheese. You can make pasta to pour the mixture over (I had my potato on the side so I didn't). You guys- this is SO SO good. My new favorite dish and it's so easy to make!!
I have 2 things for leftovers! Lucky me.
So I need to have veggies around so I can randomly whip things up like that. It was really cool. I am extremely proud of myself for enjoying veggies so much- and using them in my cooking. It's going to set me up for life to have them as a staple to every meal.
Well this blog went way away from where I wanted to go. I'll write another one later on my actual plans for the next few weeks.
Monday, August 08, 2011
Well the past 4 days have been- well basically a vacation where I once again disowned my own health for restaurant food (not good stuff), liquer, beer and treats. I just came back to work this morning and had a conversation with myself.
I feel like this weekend was like the middle of my sophomore year of college. Constant partying, eating LATE, eating OUT and just basically not having a care in the world. I loved it. Honestly I had such a blast i'm sad it's done. However. After a 3 day party fest it is SO nice to be back in a groove. I am resolved to the fact that come Thursday weigh-in I will probably have gained 4 lbs. I was up 6.4 yesterday morning (before a giant baked Ziti dinner followed by cheesecake and a shake) So it very well may be worse than a 4lb gain. But I am going to be running hopefully every day this week- maybe a few classes.
I realize now that I keep making exceptions in my life for these events. And slowly they keep getting more frequent. Uncontrolled- they could turn back into old eating habits of "Oh hey it's Friday night, let's get a giant dinner and follow it with dessert, snacks later and another late dessert". So yes this weekend has been planned to be out of control since back in like April. But that's it.
My foot is down and I will be a force to be reckoned with from today until October 14th (one year mark). I NEED to get down to 200lbs by then. Yes it's a seriously short amount of time to lose 20+lbs but no will be to blame if I miss it but myself. And I will be mad. Realistically, if I am 205 or below I will still be excited, but sad and guilty on the inside.
I am excited for cooler weather to start coming around so I can go run outside after work or in the morning. I could end up getting 2 workouts in one day if I do morning run and night classes. Hey whatever (healthy) it takes.
I've come too far and made too many promises to myself to fail now. Here was my pep talk to myself. No more excuses.
Anyone else ever get the feeling that if they don't eat it's going to harm them in some way? like if you don't eat within an hour of your normal meal times you're stressed out? Like sometimes I am not super hungry at dinner, but I think I am, like, afraid to not eat enough or something. So i have slightly larger helpings. IDk it just something I've noticed about myself.
My mom says she will have just a bowl of cereal or a bag of popcorn for dinner. In my head there's a tiny panic attack going on for her haha. How can I get out of that "Dinner is for big meals" mindset? Anyone have ideas? Let it be known too that my lunches at work are @ 12:30, snack prob around 2:30 (if I have one) and I don't get home from the gym until 6:30. So I am usually pretty starved.
This week i am going to be working on running a 10K, or at least an 8K (5mi, right?) It's been a week and half since my 5K and I haven't run at all. I am excited to get back in there today and just GO!
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Oh yeah, that's right. I am going to put a little negativity out into the world today. I am not sure what my problem is, but I am majorly moody today and and actively trying to make myself happy by being ADD and trolling Urban Dictionary.
Ever heard the saying: "If you're bored then you're boring?". Well I feel like that's me lately! I have been a lump on a log. It's like my brain takes a friggin coffee break sometimes. I just have no thoughts. or when I do they're about making dinner, or something I have to do but don't want to (dishes).
Also- like I realize that I have very few friends that I hang out with. I have my best friend, but when you're 26 years old a Best friend is like... a consolation prize. I also want to go out and Party. Because when I party I kind of let out all of my crazy at once. Haha which is probably why I wake up with a hangover and a feeling of major dread/guilt at things I may or may have not said.
When I was younger I was hyper to the point of being banned form certain friends' houses. I would ride my bike all over town. I would jump up and down rambling for no reason. Have an instant wig-out and run around. I rarely get those bursts of energy. I feel like I'm not so much fun anymore!
And I think that being social, funny and easy-going is like trying to remember a dream- the harder you try the more you lose it. So I think I just need to STOP trying and just do. Just go where I want when I want. Be spontaneous.
Plus- my 8-4:30 job is SOOOO mundane at this season that on Wednesdays (oh hey, that's today... hoorah.) I literally could do an hour of work and go home. Maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but still- the monotony of this makes me want to scream and run around the halls. Plus I spend a good like 4 hours a day on Sparkpeople and I feel that if they blocked it I would go mad. I wouldn't know what to do!
So also- about 1-2 days a month I have a really mentally effed up day. I think that's today. My mind thinks about everything that I've been feeling and thinknig about lately and I go nuts trying to fix it or talk about things that might make waves. I test people to see how far I can push them, or just to see what they will say back to me. Literally I'm kind of out of my mind. I am ADD as sh*t and just can't focus because i'm thinking about EVERYTHING!
On top of all that crazy- It's treat day here at work. However, the girl brought in powdered doughnuts. I ate one which was 2 weight watcher points. But I'm working my butt off this week to lose and get my lazy, slacker a$$ below 220lbs!
I'm retaining water because it's almost my TOM. PLUS I am still sore a HELL from that stupid Nazi (Body) Combat class on Monday. UGH it's such a killer I swear, I can barely move my arms. I also did Zumba last night which made my legs even sorer and my butt... oh my poor poor butt. She's hurting this week, but she will be rocking once the DOMS is gone and my muscles have healed.
I wonde rif my crazy is because I got up right when my alarm went off. I didn't hit the snooze. I heard that it's better if you don't snooze- you'll be more awake. Holy BALLS am I awake. I could pull a SEMI I am so awake right now.
Okay- well after expelling a bit of what was welling up inside I feel better. I just need to write to get things out. Please no negative comment on my crazy, i get defensive... I will look at your Sparkpage and call you names in my head.
Tomorrow is my Friday and I cannot wait to be done. Plus it's weigh-in day. OH MY!!
Once I took a Midol to try to help my crazy PMS stuff- I felt like I was high for like 3 hours....
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