Thursday, January 19, 2012
Have you ever been just going along in your day when all of a sudden you realize that you're really there?
It's hard to explain, but sometimes I will just be involved in some simple task or whatever and all of a sudden become acutely aware that I'm actually doing it.
Sometimes, when it happens I think to myself "Wow, who knew I'd ever be here doing this?" Since my divorce and all that that encompassed these little spells have fallen upon me quite often. I liken it to when people talk about paralell universes or an out-of-body experience, only they're way less exciting than all that.
What do I hope to gain by talking about it? I have no flippin idea, but I feel compelled to tell you that I believe it means something... that there's a huge message to be decoded and shared from those jolted-to-awareness moments.
If I were to guess I'd say the messages have everything to do with finding peace in one's self, perhaps a gentle reminder to just be satisfied and grateful for the opportunity to take in a breath and contemplate the hugeness of it all. To accept that we cannot predict the future, nor can we change the past... That all we really have is the moment we're living in and that in it is contained all of life's elements and energy to be used wisely or tossed away carelessly by choice.
We are so special, the mere fact that we can, for the most part, choose to take life a minute at a time, think about where we'd like to be in say 10, 20, or a bazillion of them is such a precious gift, and it is my hope that each of us will do whatever it takes to not allow even one more to be stolen, contaminated by negativity, or worst of all ignored or treated as if it doesn't have the power to change our lives completely.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Hi my sweet little Sparklers...
I'm just wondering about the manufacturing of mirrors... LOL... I mean, is there like a recipe for all mirror making or is each mirror making company like a grandma that just throws a pie together?
Here's the deal I have 3 mirrors in my house... well, that I seem to routinely see myself in. The first is in my bedroom attached to my dresser, and it's wide, thus it makes me look wide (hate that mirror). The second is long and narrow in the hallway... it makes me look sort of long and narrow (my favorite, I might add)... the third is divided into 3 doors on the medicine cabinet... and well, if I arrange them just right... ohhhhh yessss, it quickly becomes the mirror I could French kiss (no I haven't, YET).
Anyway, unfortunately, it turns out that for some sick reason I want to know the truth, that is, which mirror is lying to me? Is there no such thing as a truthful mirror? There needs to be a test.
I'm not saying I'd keep or even remotely use the honest mirror, but at least (depending on my mood, and mental stability) I could choose to embrace either the truth or the lie on my own terms... you know, like I seem to do with everything else in life.
And, ughhhhh, don't even get me started on the mirror I looked into at Target... that one tried to tell me I'm getting age spots on my cheeks... hmmmm, is that so I'll runout and fill my cart up with concealer and foundation??? Makes a person wonder doesn't it?
Monday, June 08, 2009
Today I kickboxed (can I get a WHOOHOOO!!! on that one?) and there's a part in the routine where we're told to "jab^hold" and it got me thinking... I mean, the jab part is really cool... and I like it a lot (you know with all the hostility I'm carrying around... lol), but the hold part is kinda boring... and like, I don't even think it's burning calories... okay maybe it is.
In any case... once I turned my brain on I began to ponder about how that "hold" position really is just as important as the "jab".
In life I run around jabbing and not holding a lot. Know what I'm sayin?
I get excited, love the fun or active part of this or that, but instead of holding afterwards I jump right into searching for the next thing to jab.
I now see that "Jab" = Action and "Hold" = (get this) the Patience, Courage, and Strength it takes to prepare wisely for the next jab.
The problems that exist in our lives, including our weight loss issues, very much require strong jabs (action) to the face, but if we are really to be super successful in conquering our foes... we, seriously, have to learn how to "Hold"... how to be at peace with ourselves and maybe even take a sec to give ourselves a pat on the back for the last excellent jab.
My plan is to kickbox again tomorrow and really get psyched about the "Hold" position... heck, I'm missing it already.
Love you all... hope you're doing flab-u-lessly
Friday, May 08, 2009
Almost 5 months back I went to the hairdresser and she said... "so, what are we doing to ya today?" She ran her fingers through my hair... flipped it around, studied it carefully... then she asked "why don't you grow out your bangs?"...
"wellllllll, I said, they drive me crazy when they get to my eyes and I just have to hack em off".... then she said "noooo, let em grow... it'll be a cute change and you'll like it... just hold on through the rough part and you'll be happy in the end".
So, I did, MAN-O-LIVE, was it torturous... in fact, I'd ponytail em up and look like I really belonged in Whoville ... but I did it... and dare I say, she was right... it is a nice change and I'm glad I didn't whip out the scissors and start chopping...
See, that's me... I'm a "take matters into my own hands" sort of girl... yes, I listen... my intentions to follow instructions and take advice are the very best, but when the crap hits the fan my know-it-all-ness kicks in and I'm off doing things like I always do... MY WAY! and we can all see where that's gotten me... plump, miserable, and short banged.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say in my goofball way is that... maybe, just maybe, no, not all the time, but more times than not... someone else knows what's better for us than we do. Now, don't scream and throw a hissy fit... I know all of you, like myself, rate right up there with history's great thinkers, but even they dropped the ball sometimes.... just look at Einstein's hair.
So, today it is my hope that you'll use your SparkPeople tools... that you'll NOT do it your own way. I mean jeeeeeeeez.... let's lose this weight, already. I hope you'll listen to your therapists, doctors, personal trainers (haha), and MOST importantly...
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Hi my sweetest friends in the whole wide world....
Rumour has it that you've been worried and wondering... well, TA-DA... here I am.
I'm so fortunate to have you all in my corner, rooting for me.
Things really have been quite crazy around here... anyway... if you can bear with me, I will very soon be a free woman... hopefully by September, and believe me I hope to be in much better spirits, you know... together and with it.
I know i'm not the only sparkgirl dealing with an abusive addict... so, I'd like to first say... if it's at all possible for you to get help or break free... DO IT.
Also, I can't emphasize it enough... DO NOT stay quiet... talk to the people you trust and love... be honest, don't blame yourself, and last but least... ACCEPT that you count... and that no matter how much you'd love to save the addict in your life, you probably won't be able to do so.
Now, yes.. my life is playing out like a very poorly written mystery/horror novel, but I'm not afraid.. I'm growing, hey... not physically... so don't be adding the pounds on me, but emotionally I'm growing by leaps and bounds.
I've been thinking of you soooooooo much lately... and it is one of my greatest desires to be an inspirational friend to you all... to live through my little story and lift you sky high... ohhhh yeah, even literally speaking, cuz, hey, you'll be rockin all that skinny.
LOVE YOU... ME
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