Friday, August 20, 2010
After having a major slip I have been trying to figure out what happened. I don't have all the answers yet, but I have realized that blogging regularly is essential for me. I hadn't blogged for 11 days. I think blogging connects me with the community of positive people on a mission and if I stay connected by adding my bits and pieces I feel more whole, more complete, not out there alone.
With DH gone for a week I do feel lonely. After 39 years I don't feel totally whole without him. I live my own life and do my own thing but he IS a huge part of my life and I feel a little empty without him. Work is painful at times. I feel no connection or commitment there. All my career I have felt inspired and enthused by my work, but what I am doing now at the end of my career is uninspiring. I am honestly putting in time as I train my replacement for when I retire. I am done there. It is a shame I have to continue putting in time because of medical insurance but that is a fact of life. I have 3 months left so retirement is almost here. I think these are major factors in my slip but they can't be excuses. Everyone's life has challenges and these are my current challenges. Food won't help....or at least turning to food for emotional needs won't help. I do need food! Anyway, thanks for listening. I need that.