DAISYBELL6   112,506
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Sabotage

Friday, January 29, 2010

I have been doing so well lately and feeling absolutely great! I have energy, enthusiasm, and feel like I look good. I've been here 2 x in my life before. Two times before I have lost 60 pounds and felt great. But 2 x before I blew it. I did that again yesterday. I get compliments everywhere I go, everywhere I see someone I haven't seen in a while. I look in the mirror constantly "Is that me?" It is a little overwhelming. I don't know whether I just don't think I deserve it or I just can't handle the attention. One gentleman at work even looked me up and down and said "Boy, you look good" I just felt so uncomfortable. I didn't like it one bit.

Well, yesterday I ate ice cream, peanut butter and a granola bar in the evening making my total for the day 2400 calories. I knew what I was doing and made a conscious decision to eat those things. Why? I don't know. All I know is that when I begin to feel successful, I sabotage myself.

Today, I acknowledge what I did, ask for support and any ideas my friends have, and get right back on track. Right? Right!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASPENHUGGER 1/31/2010 7:58PM

    Yeah, I do that too. In my case, it was not a survival tactic to do something well -- my mother would notice & I'd get "punished" for it somehow. Of course if I didn't do well, I got punished for that too. It's why I've had such a struggle to take the weight off, well at least part of the reason.

Now I have medical issues directly attributable to morbid obesity. As grim as that sounds, maybe working towards being healthier will be less scary than working towards being slim & attractive, so I'll be able to do it!

Good luck! I hope you can keep the binging to a minimum, & maintain your weight loss. You do look good!

Kate

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CTFOODIE 1/29/2010 1:11PM

    Don't beat yourself up. We all do this. Write off that bad day and get back on the saddle or maybe give yourself a break for a couple of days.

Get rid of all the fattening or junk food in the house if you can so it won't be there to tempt you or put it up higher so that you have to make a conscious effort to get it and you might stop yourself when you feel that wave coming on.

But most importantly don't be so hard on yourself! ;-)

Comment edited on: 1/29/2010 1:11:48 PM

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QUEENLATIFA 1/29/2010 12:15PM

    Wow! You have lost 55 pounds and are so close to your goal. That is the scary part. What we do to ourselves is concentrate so much on the losing that we forget to "learn" how to maintain once we get to our goal.
Don't let yourself get derailed. You have learned what it takes to get you to this point, now you need to learn how to stay there. It gives you a whole new batch of goals to set for yourself.
We are all afraid of not being able to stay there but if we truly learn to live a healthy lifestyle we will be okay. You can do this because you want to. But you have to want to badly enough to achieve this new goal. Just like losing, it takes work to stay at goal.
Good luck and keep using Spark. We are all here to help you along. Take the compliments for what they are and don't feel uncomfortable with them. You have earned them. *S*

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LOULOUBELLE2 1/29/2010 12:03PM

    Oh Boy I know the feeling SO WELL. Many years ago I lost about 60 pounds and had all that uncomfortable attention. I handled it by eating uncontrollably and gaining it all back....
Now I'm in the process of relosing it again...only it's harder this time as I'm older. My best recommendation is try to smile and say "Thank you for the compliment...I've worked really hard at changing my lifestyle"...then change the subject. That may help you.
This time through I have intentionally stopped at a 35 pound loss and maintained it for 4 months, so I can get used to the change and compliments. But deep down I knew I was going to continue on and that's what I'm doing now. I'm working at loosing the rest of the weight.
Don't know if this will help you...I sure hope it does, as your not alone. Self conciseness can be your undoing...Please don't let it ruin all that you've accomplished.
(`v)LouLouBelle

`*..*



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_PAULA_H 1/29/2010 11:06AM

    emoticon

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MTNGRL 1/29/2010 10:00AM

    Nancy, one day off the plan is not a problem. But it is a wake up call to you not to go there everyday. You have you goal in sight and maybe you just need to look at yourself with "new" eyes and see the beautiful woman you are and have always been, just in a neat new package. You have done so well and we are all proud of you!

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GABY1948 1/29/2010 9:48AM

    Nancy, like the others, I so understand. I have spent a lifetime "blending into the wallpaper" and not being noticed. I still don't want to be noticed. But we are going to be noticed anyway. I firmly believe that each thing we go through that we realize throws us off track, as you realized needs to be worked through...in other words "unlearned" or unconditioned. You realized it now and know what to do...next time you may be able to realize it before you act on it, and so on until you are no longer conditioned to act by eating when in those uncomfortable situations. You are doing so great (and dare I say you LOOK so great?) and you can move on now to a new accomplishment! emoticon
Hugs, my friend!
Gaye

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NO_SNOW_BODY 1/29/2010 8:40AM

    You analyzed that well. It is "uncomfortable" to be noticed. It was one night and thank goodness you can rebound and SPark it away. Great job with your accomplishments.

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JAZZIELORI 1/29/2010 8:19AM

    After losing weight something magical happens..all of a sudden you are "seen" by people...they are taking notice because they like what they see...yes it can be very uncomfortable at first...I thought there was something wrong with me after I lost a lot of weight..but it wasn't really me...when you are big people tend to look away making you feel like you are not part of society...now that you are not big..society is welcoming you back..it is a big change...and it can be very scary..because we are used to people turning away from us...you had a slip yesterday..it was probably from all the attention and not knowing what to do with it..take it slow..don't beat yourself up...you know slips can happen but you just have to get back on your meal plan...good luck on your journey!!
Lori

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RURAL3 1/29/2010 8:12AM

    Make sure you aren't depriving yourself of things all the time. You need to allow yourself to have anything(except a bad trigger food; mine is chips) but practice portion control. If you want something have it. I am sure you already know this. That way we don't sabatoge ourselves if we do have it. I dont' think you did so bad. 2400 calories in one day is not bad in the overall picture. Just don't do it everyday. You are doing great Nancy. emoticon emoticon

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LKWQUILTER 1/29/2010 7:59AM

    You answerred yourself with the "right" answer. Just flip and start over again. It has been so long since I was this small, I don't know how to act at this size. lol We will get there and accomplish this "phobia". ((HUGS)) Linda Kay

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Best MD Visit

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I saw my MD for a follow up visit today. I lost 10 pounds since my last visit, and have normal blood pressure and blood sugar. She is reducing my antihypertensive med and cutting my dose of antidepressant.

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AND I'm not pre diabetic any more!

Thank you Spark people.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RURAL3 1/28/2010 11:49PM

    What can I say Nancy emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GABY1948 1/28/2010 8:16PM

    That is absolutely wonderful news! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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OURELEE1 1/28/2010 11:05AM

  Great news.

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MTNGRL 1/27/2010 11:21PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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BAWNEE 1/27/2010 10:26PM

    That's wonderful Pat yourself on the back I bet you can!

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SCIGEEK 1/27/2010 9:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GRANNY1972 1/27/2010 9:29PM

    That is awesome!! Congratulations!

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Yum Yum

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Got home from work tonite and the house smelled great. Turns out DH bought some ground turkey and a bunch of beans and made a fantastic turkey chili in our new crockpot....without a recipe.

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Boy was it good. He is becoming a great Lo fat, lo salt, lo cal chef. I couldn't ask for anything more!

We also recently bought a blender and a hot air popcorn popper so we even have healthy smoothies and popcorn. I really enjoy eating this way a lot more than I enjoy cheeseburgers, french fries and donuts.

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And its working! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RURAL3 1/28/2010 11:50PM

    It is so nice when DH gets on the bandwagon. emoticon

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_PAULA_H 1/27/2010 11:17AM

    emoticon My DH has been cooking more lately, too! It is great coming home to dinner and not having to make it and then eat late. Monday he roasted 5 chickens. We had some for supper, deboned the rest & packaged it for future recipes. Also made meatballs...great with mushroom gravy or spaghetti sauce. Whenever we make a casserole we make an extra one or two to freeze...great for the nights or weekends we don't feel like cooking!

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GABY1948 1/26/2010 8:19PM

    emoticon can't get any better than that! emoticon And please tell DH he is the emoticon

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SCIGEEK 1/26/2010 8:09PM

    Yipee! Big hug to the DH for making dinner!

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This is the Life!

Monday, January 25, 2010

I'm starting week 4 of the Spark your Body Challenge and feeling great. I've been doing the extra exercise and watching what I eat and have actually lost 10 pounds this month! I can't believe it! I didn't even lose this much when I first started Spark People.

The weekend was fun. It was so cold and windy that I didn't walk outside at all, I just walked with Leslie and marched for 30 min while watching a movie. I got at least 30 minutes a day but the intensity wasn't as high as when I am trekking in the mountains.

We drove into a town about 45 min away from the cabin for a "Winter Farmer's Market" that was being held. It was a lot of fun to walk around. We bought a bottle of local wine, some local gouda cheese and some freshly baked whole wheat bread. As we were driving back up the mountain we stopped and invited a mountain neighbor over for an impromptu New Year's celebration since we hadn't seen them since Christmas. We had a really nice time. However, the "snack" turned out to be 700 calories. Luckily, because we were driving during lunch it served as our lunch and I was only 100 calories over my target.

I can't track my calories when I am at the cabin (no Internet) but I am learning to keep my portions down and make good choices and am staying much closer to my target range than I used to on the weekends. I think it is good practice for me not to be able to track everything and try to make healthy eating my "norm".

Life is Good!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RURAL3 1/25/2010 2:04PM

    Great job Nancy. emoticon Sounds like you jump started yourself again. emoticon

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_PAULA_H 1/25/2010 10:53AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GABY1948 1/25/2010 8:32AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonYou are doing great, Nancy!
Hugs,
Gaye

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MTNGRL 1/25/2010 7:34AM

    Sounds like a great weekend. emoticon on staying motivated and the weight loss!!

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Changes

Friday, January 22, 2010

I am getting more comfortable with my changing body size.

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Some days I feel really slender, other days really fat, but most days I just feel like a large woman. Its ok to be large, its not ok to be very obese like I was. I am at the bottom of the obese bmi now and can't wait to get into the upper overweight zone. Isn't that weird, to be excited to be overweight?

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I am most happy to be feeling so energetic and full of life. I want to keep this feeling forever. It's not important how I look, its how healthy I am. I go back to the MD in March to have my Blood Sugar, Blood Pressure and other vitals checked. I can't wait. I actually skipped up 2 flights of stairs at work yesterday.

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Today I have finished 2 of Coach Nicole's videos and am going swimming in half an hour. I feel great.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GABY1948 1/22/2010 9:21PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon You absolutely ROCK, Nancy!

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RURAL3 1/22/2010 5:04PM

    And your attitude is absolutely right on. Isn't it funny how our perspective changes along the way. You have worked hard and should be very proud. emoticon

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MTNGRL 1/22/2010 11:13AM

    You are doing an emoticon job!

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NJEATON 1/22/2010 8:25AM

    Yay for you! The last time I lost a lot of weight, I actually gave away all my "fat" clothes. What a wonderful feeling that was! Of course, I gained some of my weight back, but I'm determined not to get back to the size I was then!

Sounds like you're on the right track! emoticon

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