Wednesday, September 30, 2009
These past few months have been pretty rough on me. Two surgeries, 5 hospitalizations, 54 pounds of weightloss and the undying support of a group of ladies here that I am proud to call "sisters"!
Now that I know that weightloss can be acheived, I am in the process of planning my next dream...........
In one year I will be living in the country somewhere in Eastern Kentucky. On Wednesdays and Thursdays I will be busy baking cookies, cakes and pies to take to the flea market where I will have my own space to sell what I've baked along side of all of the jams, and preserves that I've put up through the summer and fall. Winter will come and steal the long days away.....I'll read by the fire and make hot chocolate for the family to warm them. Spring will come and there will be earth to be broken, tomatoes, zuchinni, spring onions, peppers and corn will be planted.....days long with work are ahead. A roadside farmstand, how quaint....I'll sell the fruits of my labor, until the last tomato has withered on the vine.......I can't wait to start this new chapter in my life!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The QUILT of HOLES
As I faced my Maker at the Last Judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles. An angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestries that represented our lives.
But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was - they were filled with giant holes! Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I had been faced with in every day life. I saw all the hardships that I had endured, which were the largest holes of all.
I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares! Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color, and the bright hues of worldly fortune.
I gazed upon my own life, and was disheartened!
My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of my cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.
Finally, the time came when each life was to be displayed and held up to the light - the "Scrutiny of Truth!
The others rose; each in turn holding up
their tapestries. So filled their lives had been!
My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise.
My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes as the others had shown.. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times! I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.
And now, I had to face the Truth! My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.
I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. Awesome gasps filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes.
I then looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes,creating an image, the face of Chris t. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes, and he said to me, "Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles.
"Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you"
May all your quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Chris t to shine through! God determines who walks into your life ... so it's up to YOU to decide WHO you let walk away; who you let stay; and who you refuse to let go.
I know my quilt of life is full of holes, but I wouldn't trade one hardship that I've endured for any amount of money because I am far richer than many people I know, and it's those holes that have made me rich :)
Saturday, August 22, 2009
On July 1st, I went in the hospital for a bowel resection, there were some complications and I ended up with a temporary ileostomy, yeah a "poop" bag, and unwanted appendage hanging from my side. I wasn't home but 3 days when I was rushed back to the hospital due to an abdominal infection, where my incision had to be opened in two places and the wound packed, daily for 2 weeks by my sweet hubby :) On August 9th I was taken back to the hospital for a suspected blockage in my small intestine....thank God it wasn't, just a UTI, or a virus, but after a GI tube, and a round of antibiotics in the IV for 3 days I came back home.
Through all of this I have lost 46 pounds, I've heard many people say, what a horrible way to lose it, but was it? I never hear people say that to a woman who has had gastric bypass, which I might add is an elective surgery, and I've watched several of my cousins suffer after gastric bypass surgery alot more that I have suffered...well anyway I have lost 46 pounds so far and I WILL NOT gain it back! My 46 pound loss was in fact the silver lining of my journey. I believe everything happens for a reason, and I think this surgery was a huge wake-up call for me....If I hadn't been so obese, I probably wouldn't have had so many complications from the surgery, and I would have been well on my way to recovery by now, but because of my obesity, I have to endure yet another surgery soon to remove the ileostomy.
I am going to be so active on Spark People again after my next surgery that y'all are going to get sick of seeing me around here :)
Here's to the next 46 pounds that I am going to lose........
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I'm absolutely sick of it....David "the sicko" Letterman was the last straw! How can any grown man with a conscience say such vile, perverted things about a 14 year old girl? I know how, just like the liberal media, it's easier to make pretend! If he had read about her visit to New York and what she was doing there, he would have known the jokes were about a 14 year old......but then again, maybe he did know and he's a pervert! I never heard anyone call his son a bastard?
I am sick to death of my so-called Christians crying over the abortion doctor being murdered but never shedding one tear for all of the babies he murdered.......I believe murder is murder, and Tillman shouldn't have been murdered, but I do believe he should have been in prison for murder! Oh and the poor security guard who was murdered at the Holocaust memorial that was tragic, sad and worthy news am still hearing about it on every news cast.....but what is really confusing me is the poor Army Soldier who was murdered by a home grown muslim, his death made news for about 5 minutes......why? Can anyone explain the fairness in this?
America is a place that I am becoming ashamed of calling my home....what happened to the morals and values of my youth......they went down the toilet when the "foster-home, time-out Society" took over!
The crime rate is horrible, people are losing their jobs at an alarming rate, everyday I hear about stores and banks being robbed, and it seems that no one cares.....this is a sad time in America, and I am still putting my faith in God, my Lord and Saviour to wake America up before we self destruct!
Thanks for letting me vent.....it's a wonderful privilege.......Freedom of speech. that is!
Get An Email Alert Each Time CYNTHIAS50 Posts