Sunday, September 01, 2013
Here's a secret: I'm not perfect. I am, however, making better choices and I am proud of myself. One of those choices is to select healthier foods, and this can be difficult at parties. Last night I went to a football party (first Husker football game of the season!). One friend made beef fajita mixings and another her chicken corn chili (chicken breast, fresh corn, salsa for seasoning, and kidney beans in a broth base). I had some fajita beef with sour cream (no tortilla) and some of the chili. i did have an extra beer (I had allotted myself two). So I went about 100 calories over yesterday.
Did I beat myself up? Did I throw in the towel today because I messed up a little yesterday? Nope. I had fruit for breakfast to help hydrate and give my blood sugar a boost. I chose to take my daughter downtown for the day and we walked for about 2 hours and went to a museum. I added some might activity into today which would have normally been a rest day and I have stayed on track today. While this may not sound miraculous, it is for me. I am currently the heaviest I have ever been in my life and I NEED to lose. Not only for my self esteem, but more importantly for my health. I am proud that I have made small adjustments in my life to create bigger changes.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
I have always been a social person, but discussing being overweight is embarrassing for me. Let's be honest, it is pretty obvious I am overweight, but it isn't something I like to talk about. I will excitedly report that I have lost a few pounds, but nobody really knows how much I need to lose. I am embarrassed that I have let myself get to this point.
I have a friend I have known now for about four years. She is a runner and in much better shape than I am. I tried going out jogging with her once, and I nearly died. :) I like having someone to work out with, but it is hard for me when I cannot do as much as they can. She joined the gym that I attend, and we went to spin class together this morning. I'm happy to have someone to go with me. In fact, she was impressed that I did much better (e.g. could keep my RPMs up with higher resistance). I felt really good, not only that I got out of bed early on a Sunday morning to go to the gym, but that I found something I could keep up with her on.
I have always heard finding a friend for encouragement and you are more likely to stick with it. I do much better with someone holding me accountable, so I am hopeful I can create a routine and stick with it! My new job makes it hard, but it is something I need to do.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
My weight has been a struggle for so much of my life. I have bought into the gimmicks, the schemes, the idea that it can be easy, but I just haven't found that magic solution. The truth is: there are no secrets. There are no little hints, little tips, forbidden knowledge that only the successful people know.
There really is only one way to lose weight: eat healthy and exercise more.
Now there are small changes that a person might not have considered, but ultimately any weightloss comes down to eating less/better foods and exercising. I finally decided in April to stop allowing my insecurities keep me from losing weight. I had joined a gym in January, but was embarrassed to go to the Group Ex classes that I had wanted to attend, and were the reason I signed up. I finally forced myself to get over that. In a month I have become a four day a week gym goer (Sun-Wed) with an occasional Fri/Sat. I am eating less/eating better food, drinking less alcohol, and guess what.....I've lost nearly TEN POUNDS since March!
Ten pounds, it is an amazing thought. It is the kind of progress I used to envy in others. The kind of thing I used to say only other people could do. I know it will slow down and I will have to make adjustments as I progress, but I'm already noticing big changes: My stomach is slightly smaller, I have more energy, I can work harder and faster in my spin classes, I am not so sore after my lifting class, I am proud of myself!
The last one is perhaps the best...I am proud for sticking with it and making a change for the better!
Thursday, March 08, 2012
I have longed for a sun warmed garden fresh cherry tomato these long winter months. I am from Nebraska where we experience severe wind-chills in the winter and extreme heat indexes in the summer. It is a place where the seasons unmistakably change around you every four months. We are finally shrugging off winter with a sunny fresh smelling spring that will soon change into a humid hot Nebraska summer.
Last year my neighborhood built a community garden conveniently located right across the street from my home. My family helped build the fence, lay out the garden beds, and weed the community veggie plots in addition to our own plot. My daughter (four at the time) learned how plants grow, she enjoyed watered the vegetables, creating compost piles, and loved eating food that was still warm from the sun. Her only regret was that the bunnies liked the broccoli as much as she did, so there was none left for her to eat.
My daughter and I started our seedlings indoors last week, and the weather has finally allowed me to put them outside for some real sun, and they are growing so fast. The peas have burst into 1.5 inch tall stalks, the okra seeds we saved from the plants last year are thick and milky white, the spinach has grown into thin stalks that seem to double in size every two days. I can't wait to get my hands in the dirt and plant my precious seedlings. In just a few month we will harvest shelling peas, cherry tomatoes, purple okra, and some of the large carrots you have seen. Dinners will burst with flavor from fresh basil, rosemary and thyme, the house will smell of lavender and our ice tea will be flavored with lemon balm from the kitchen garden.
In our house we love summer, not just because the weather is more pleasant, but because we can enjoy the produce from our garden and share food with our neighbors outdoors. Food brings people together in ways other things in life can't, but it is even better if that food was lovingly grown in a garden, and the kids can run barefoot through the grass as they munch on healthy veggies they helped to grow.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Much of what I learned about dieting and my relationship with food came from my mother. She was a constant yo-yo dieter who routinely used food as a reward, allowed me to eat whatever I wanted (pop, candy, chips, ice cream, ect.). We had LOADS of unhealthy foods in the house, and I despite the fact I was an active kid, I was a chunky until the end of high school (when I started feeding myself). I have lived with this shadow for far to long. As I have begun to emerge from it I have discovered that it is actually deeper and darker emotionally than I ever thought.
I am a people pleaser. I just want everyone around me to be happy, and that includes my mother. I have let my mother try to control parts of my life for far too long (I'm 26, married and have a daughter). She still tries to tell me what to wear, how to raise my daughter (these aren't "friendly" pieces of advice), and never misses a chance to make disparaging comments about my husband. We've been together since I was 16, but I don't think he will ever be good enough for her. We live in the same town and my daughter is very close to my mom and step-dad. I want them to be close, but I think that she now feels entitled to go beyond what is reasonable.
We had a fight today about religion. Without going into details, I finally had to put my foot down and say "she is my daughter!" My mom hung up on me, something she has never done before. I feel like I'm 13 again and she has yelled at and shamed me just like she did when I was caught wearing a bit of light brown eye shadow before the age I was allowed to wear it.
I feel the oppressiveness of her wrath and and am the same guilty feeling child, which I know I shouldn't feel like. We've had a tenuous unhealthy relationship since my father died and I envy those who can be friends (as adults) with their moms. Working my way out of this shadow will help me psychologically as emerging from the food shadow has helped my health.
Here is to the next healthy step in my life....attempting to find a way to balance my mother.
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