Friday, November 16, 2012
I was off SP for at least a couple of months during my kitchen reno and managed to gain back the 6 pounds that I painstakingly lost. Being a positive person I thought to myself that I had temporarily gotten off track and decided that I would jump back on the bandwagon and start over again. After all, what choice do I have? Either move forward and start again or do nothing and keep on gaining.
Here's the hard part. I was slowly losing when I first joined SP back in May of this year while I had my daily calories set to between 1300 and 1500 a day. It took me 4 months to lose about 6 pounds. I thought to myself that slow and steady wins the race. I was ok with the slow loss as I was making progress. This time I decided I would scale down to a max of 1300 cals per day and it appears that I am actually gaining. I have been getting on the scale each morning and finding that I am up about a pound a day. This morning I am up 3 pounds from my heaviest weight ever! Again, being a positive person, I am trying not to beat myself up. I am asking myself what am I doing wrong? Could it be a particular food that I am eating? I did go above my calorie range quite a bit one day so maybe it's water retention?? Is it that time of the month, no, not yet, I am two weeks ago. Is it premenopause? What is going on with my body? I am such a healthy person. Or am I? Then, I second guess myself. Maybe I'm not as healthy as I think. Maybe I am delusional and think that I am tracking the right portions but am actually eating a lot more than I think. Now that might be a possibility as I am mostly eyeballing my portions.
I can see how easy it is for people to just want to throw in the towel. All this effort, all this tracking and feeling hungry and my weight goes up, not down. I could just scream in frustration. I looked up my height and BMI and I am now officially in the type 1 obese category. I am in a bit of shock as I have always thought of myself as a relatively thin person. This can't be happening to me. This is not me, this is not my body. It shouldn't be so hard. I am sharing my thoughts with you because it feels a little better to get it out and get it out there. I really don't feel like myself. This extra weight doesn't belong on me all around me. I feel like a stranger in my own body. I don't recognize myself anymore. Well there, I said it all.
I don't want to leave things on a negative note and I don't know what's wrong. Like I said, it could be a bit of portion distortion and having said that I will start measuring my food again to see if that makes a difference. I am not giving up. I am going to forge ahead and do my best to make healthy choices meal by meal. I am going to try to be ok with the times that I feel hungry and not panic when I don't have something to eat close by.
Thanks for "listening" and being there. It's nice to know that there are other people on this journey who may be experiencing the same frustrations. I am holding on to the thought that regardless of what I am experiencing with respect to my weight loss today, I am going to find the key to the eating plan that works for me.
Saturday, July 07, 2012
While raw fooding last year, I stumbled upon so many delicious meals and desserts that really blew my mind, like chocolate pudding made from blending avocado, cocoa powder or raw cacao powder, young coconut, coconut water, vanilla and a touch of sea salt. The pudding was so rich and creamy that I couldn't imagine ever eating boxed chocolate pudding again. I never got around to making the raw ice cream until just last week though. It's so easy!
There are different ways of making raw ice cream. One way involves blending soaked raw cashews, however, I have since read about a much easier and cheaper way.
Step 1: Peel and freeze chunks of ripe bananas in a zip lock freezer bag.
Step 2: Blend the frozen bananas in your food processor or Vitamix with other types of frozen fruit and possibly a splash of vanilla.
That's it! You're done.
You will end up with the creamiest, tastiest, no sugar, good for you treat, that you can have whenever the mood for something "bad" strikes. It keeps in the freezer just like regular ice cream. I plan on trying many interesting combinations:
banana chocolate (just add cocoa or cacao powder)
banana mixed berry
The possibilities are endless! I tried the chocolate banana and it was very good. You can even add some organic honey or stevia if you like yours a bit sweeter. Hmmm, or maybe even some chopped nuts.
I hope you give this a try.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
well... I am going through a bit of a spell here. I am an avid reader and have been reading about nutrition and nutrition related subjects since I was a teenager. So, almost 40 years later, I like to think that I've learned a thing or two. I have taken the best from vegetarianism, fruitarianism, volumetrics, slow food, Paleo and a brief time on Atkins. The Atkins diet did not work for me at all and I was off it within 2 weeks. I actually want to be vegetarian, preferably vegan, however, I developed a severe B12 deficiency after eating raw vegan for over a year or so and am now questioning how I can get B12 naturally from the foods that I eat.
I am at a point where I honestly believe that I do make the healthiest food choices for the most part, given the knowledge that I have, however, I know that I have not yet found my optimal diet. I am still trying. I am still reading and researching, tweaking my food choices, and at times, simply making the best choice that I can at any given moment in time. Lately, as my life has been busy, it has become a bit more difficult to make excellent choices. I am very aware of what I eat though and always do my best.
I just can't seem to figure out what it is that makes me want to eat that little bit more and what is keeping me stuck. Could it be the grains that I've started to incorporate back into my diet? Could it be the animal products? I honestly don't know. The last diet I read about was the "starch diet" where the author argues that we need to eat starches at each meal as it provides food for our brain. I seem to be at a point now where I'm thinking that nobody really knows what the optimal diet is and that each researcher can sway their stats and info to suit their purposes. In the past I've gone with what makes me feel the best or just give in to whatever I am craving at any particular moment in time and hope that it is exactly what my body needs.
I dream about finding that optimal mix of food, raw and cooked, that will help me achieve the body that I was meant to be inside. I am now trying to eat smaller meals and focus on not getting full... just being satisfied. This is quite the journey that I am on, I believe that we are all on. A journey of self discovery, trials and errors, and the odd revelation along the way. My sincere hope is that we all discover the best method of eating for our body type, the best type of foods that sit well with all of us, that nourish us in the best possible way (our bodies and our souls) and that we all settle in to a life time of enjoying this new way of eating so that it becomes simply a way of life.
I will never stop hoping that I will find my way.
Sunday, June 03, 2012
Ok, it seems that somethings going to give here. I have blogged about how this was going to be difficult and how it seemed that nothing was happening and how the go is so slow. A couple of days ago I was thinking about my tendencies and how I tend to take the easy way out of things if I can. I know that arriving at optimum health (including optimum weight) involves hard work, persistence, determination and most of all commitment. Intellectually, I know all that. Practically, the reptilian side of my brain has tended to win out when I tell myself, oh, just one more bite, or, just a couple of bites won't hurt. And then, I am left dealing with the aftermath. That is, I am left dealing with the fact that my will wasn't strong enough or that I made some bad choices and now I'm left facing the consequences of my poor choices, namely, feeling bloated, heavy and unnattractive.
I know that taking the easy way out is my way of being and this is what I'm fighting. I want to skim along the edge of hard work and commitment. In other words, I want to work, but just enough to see results. I don't want to go beyond that tipping point or put in any extra effort. Interesting, that as I am writing this I am affecting my perception of this way of thinking. It almost seems trivial now. The very act of writing it down has changed my thinking and is helping me realize that the inherent laziness that I have (that we all have??) is what I'm constantly fighting against and yet, it seems like such a simple concept. Just work a bit harder and you'll see results. Again, it's my reptilian brain that wants to lie down, not push myself too much during exercise, eat that extra few bites of something delicious.
Well, here's my big revelation. I think I have discovered that by fooling myself into thinking that I'm taking the easy way out, that I may be able to skim along the edge of hard work and commitment for the rest of my life and still get results. Amazing results. I was eating at the upper edge of my calorie allotment and I was exercising the bare minimum that I needed to in order to barely break a sweat. And then, I was complaining that things were going so slowly i.e. one pound of weight loss in 2 weeks for example. Then what I did is I tightened it up a teeny bit. I reined in my calories just a little and kept things consistent...and, lost a pound the following week. I kept at it. Again, just skimming that edge, and this morning I got up and I'm down another pound.
I'm thinking that this can't be happening. It's not been that hard. No real sweat, no real pain, no real sacrifice. Maybe a little edge of hunger before each meal and a bit of hunger at night before I go to bed. 'This is working SP! If I can slowly keep losing a pound a week and not feel much pain... I may have just discovered a new secret. Well, maybe in my own brain. I will keep you posted Spark People!!
Monday, May 28, 2012
I was done with eating for today and then decided that I would be proactive and bake this wonderful, healthy banana bread recipe for the week. Whole wheat flour, flax, bananas, low sugar, eggs, greek yogurt. I knew it was going to be good and it was. I decided to take a little corner of the banana bread, as it was cooling on the stove, and tasted it as I wanted to make sure that it turned out ok. Not that that was really necessary but I wanted to try this new healthy recipe and didn't want to deprive myself of just one little taste. I was so proud of myself for having baked myself potential breakfasts for the next week or so. I doubled the recipe and it was such a big slab that I thought one little piece is nothing.
So... I had one little taste and it was even better than I could have imagined. So moist and delicious with a lovely earthy banana taste. I ended up having a thin slice, then another thin slice and then another little piece and so on (avoiding the work that I should have been doing) until that little corner became a big corner. It looked so bad and I was worried that my partner would wake up from his nap and see how much I'd eaten so I cut it up into big pieces and put it away in the fridge so that it was out of my sight and so that no one would know how much I'd eaten. No one that is until I decided to post this blog.
Strangely enough, I still feel pretty good. I don't know why. I'm not really full...even though I'm sure I ate almost 2000 calories today. I'm hoping that all that whole wheat and flax will just go right through me. Tomorrow is a new day and I'll start off with a big glass of water and lemon. In these situations, I usually always tell myself that I'm still going to arrive at my destination, I just took a little detour and will be back on the path tomorrow. I'm actually thinking that once in a while, maybe once a week or so, I will indulge in a favourite treat just like I did tonight. With me, it's likely to be a healthy treat though as I don't go for sickly sweet desserts and unhealthy fare.
Onward and upward! I've blogged myself into a great mood again :)
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