CUPKAKE137   4,158
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Can't believe I am engaged

Sunday, June 16, 2013

My boyfriend and I decided to go to the beach on a whim yesterday. While we were there we saw three weddings on the beach. Which in all the times we have been to this beach have never seen a wedding there. I told him it must be a sign that he should marry me. So later in the day we started walking on the beach and ended up in one of the life guard towers. Just sitting in there for a while and I got cold and he helped me into my jacket then I sat down and he was on one knee. Telling me he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Wasn't expecting that but super happy that it happened :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSIG5 7/8/2013 12:36PM

    Congratulations!! This gives you something wonderful to focus on going forward instead of being mired in the cancer bog.

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LINOVER 6/16/2013 10:00PM


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COFFEEMUG2009 6/16/2013 9:04PM


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Sunday, June 02, 2013

So had surgery on Tuesday. Was able to go home on Wednesday. Have more movement in my arms each day. Chest still hurts but that's kinda expected after a double mastectomy and reconstruction surgery. Hoping to get the drains removed on Tuesday and keep getting better. Here's to the next step in the journey

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    Take care, hope your recovery goes smoothly & quickly!

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ROSEAGRA 6/2/2013 8:12AM

    Best of luck in your journey and well done on sharing it. Hope you heal well and fast.

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Getting Ready

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Well surgery is on Tuesday... don't know what time or anything. Cut and donated my hair yesterday and I don't know if I like it yet. Everyone seems to like it but I haven't had short hair in like 12 years so it is really hard for me to get used to it. Its above my shoulders now which is good since I won't be able to move very well. Just a few more appointments and then my family is having a good luck dinner on Saturday. Trying to stay positive and calm... but I am nervous about the surgery. The only other surgeries I had were wisdom teeth and more recently egg retrieval. This is a major surgery and its life changing. Hoping everything will go well. I am hoping to get away for a day this weekend too so we will see. Thanks to those of you who keep checking on me. Its gonna be a long road and this is just the beginning.


Its been a hard month/Progress with everything

Thursday, May 02, 2013

Not gonna lie its been a rough month. I barely worked out I ate a bunch of junk and I just feel crummy all around. This is probably because I got some of the worst news this month. I have cancer. I mean I got the phone call the day after my aunt died of cancer... It has been one doctors appointment and test after another. I already feel like a pin cushion and I haven't even really started anything yet. Feel like my life has been flipped upside down and then some. I had to cancel my gym membership. They said I could put it on hold if I had a doctors note. I went you want me to get a doctor to write a note to the gym? The only reason I am closing the membership is because I won't be able to work out like I used to and they don't recommend me going to a gym during chemo. And I don't know any doctor that would write a note to a gym... I am not in high school or something.

Progress so far. I finally started fertility treatments. The shots start tomorrow then I will get my eggs harvested the week of the 12-18th. Then I will have my birthday on the 20th then more doctors appointments. Then my surgery is scheduled the 28th and I will be getting a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction I will also be having some lymph nodes removed and then I have a month off (they said it would be 6-8 weeks before I would be able to work again) then they will start chemo. That is 8 treatments over 16 weeks. Then another month off followed by 6 weeks of radiation 5 days a week. I don't know if I will be able to work or not. I don't know what effect this will have on me. I may not be able to work out or do much of anything. I just don't know. They say everyone is different so we will see. Not going to lie I am scared. They have a good prognosis for me but it is not a simple surgery and its going to be a long recovery. I have faith that I will be able to come out of this on top.

Just have to take things one day at a time and not be upset about the set backs and all. When your life gets turned upside down it can be expected to have some setbacks. I am upset that I made so much progress and then they say I will gain weight during the fertility treatments then I won't be able to move a whole lot after the surgery then I will be super tired so I am sad that I will not be able to keep up my progress and be as active with spark people. I was doing so well. Anyway cross your fingers for me.

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MOONANDSTARS77 5/4/2013 11:21AM

  I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please keep in touch with me. emoticon

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NIVPURCELL 5/3/2013 12:11PM

    I'm really sorry. I've been battling cancer for the past year+ or so and just wanted to tell you that it's OK to trust the doctors. I'm young like you, I think it's so much worse when it's a young person getting this diagnosis - although mine began as uterine cancer and spread into my lymph system. I wasn't able to work during the entire time of my chemo or radiation, but some other people say that they can. I gained a lot of weight from the steroids that came with the chemo, but other people lose weight. I wasn't able to eat hardly anything, but found some ability to tolerate certain things like milkshakes or light broth based soups at times. I had to have several types of radiation, but the daily one you'll likely go through will be a cakewalk compared to Chemo. You'll go in, undress from the waist up and put on a gown, they'll put some tattoos or marks on your body with a permanent marker that they'll touch up every couple days, and it will take just 3 to 5 minutes while the radiation treatment circles your body as you lie flat on a table, and usually they'll just check your bloodwork once a week.

You'll want someone to take care of you while you're recovering for a few weeks. I was really resistant to this part, but trust me, you'll be glad if you have any help at all. Don't worry about diet or exercise at all until your doctors tell you that you are ready to think about it again. Don't let any of it make you feel guilty. You'll need a lot of time to rest and heal and you'll be really tired while your body works to heal itself. Get yourself a little kit to keep by your bed that includes things like a good lip balm, some fingernail clippers, and maybe a little caddy for any meds you have to take, and also get a little digital thermometer. Your white cells will be challenged and you'll have to keep an eye on your temp because you won't have an immune system to fight off anything.

Get a few soft hats for your head, because when your hair falls out, your scalp will be really sensitive. If you have the ability, go get fitted for a wig as soon as possible while you still have hair, so you can look for one that looks like your hair now. You can usually get hats at the same place you look for a wig.

If you can find a cancer store, I also recommend getting some skin care things like Lindi skin, which is a special facial soap and moisturizer that's easier on cancer treated skin. For everything else I used Aveeno baby soap - on my scalp, too, as it was super sensitive with no hair. It doesn't have any smell to it either, and smells bothered me a LOT. It may not be that way for you, as far as smell goes, but a gentle soap will be good.

During one of my surgeries, the hospital gave me a cup with a long straw. I kept that thing through everything and it was so awesome. that long straw comes in real handy when it's hard to sit up or move for those first few weeks.

Also, if they don't give you one, try asking for a binder. I got one from my abdominal surgeries, but I used it after my breast one last week as well, so much easier to put on than a bra, and they had suggested wearing a supportive bra for awhile, but the binder is just a wrap around velcro closure. I found that it was hard to lift my arms very much, so the binder is easier than a bra.

You may also want something to do. Books are great... if someone can lend you a Nook or Kindle, that would be awesome (or perhaps you have one) - keep a charger near your bed. I got tired of them and started keeping crayons, colored pencils, and coloring books near me at all times. It sounds lame, but it was something entertaining to do.

One more thing - there may be in your area a place that offers rides to cancer treatments, and if you have someone else driving you, they may give you a small amount of money to help pay for gas. Near me here in Columbus, Ohio, there is a place that will give you $300 to help get to treatments. Search in your area for one as well. It might not seem like a big thing for the chemos, but once you get to the daily radiations, it can get tiresome making that drive. Hopefully someone can go with you, but if not, check into the rides.

Let me know if I can help you in any way, I'd be glad to help you research any info you want. I so badly wanted some help finding things like a wig store, rides to treatments so I didn't have to keep bothering my family, info on what to expect (my docs refused to tell me what radiation details would be like until I finished chemo, so I was stressed and worried wondering about it the whole time), anything. You're right, everyone is different, but much of it is the same, too. If you can go to a counselor or therapist to talk (many insurance companies offer a bunch of free visits, I used mine right before I started my treatments because I was terrified), it might help you a lot just to get your fears and worries off your chest. It can be easier than spilling everything to family or friends because the counselor will be impartial and help you think through things without crying all over you.

I'm so sorry for you. If I can help in any way, please let me know. We have to stick together through these horrible things. Lots of hugs.

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DELIA38961 5/2/2013 9:01PM

    I'm sorry that your having to go through so much father in law was just told that he has bladder,kidney, stomach, and brain cancer...its a difficult thing to face for sure ..I'm hoping and wishing you the very best

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Thursday, April 18, 2013

So all of my clothes don't fit. Everything is too big. So it finally became a big enough issue for me that I went out and bought some new pants. I started off at size 24 in January and I am now in size 18! No wonder my pants wouldn't stay with a belt anymore. I haven't been that in about it 10 years. So I am in shock from that. Don't think I would be out of the 20's. So yay me! Hope to be able to keep going even though I will be down and out within the next month.

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MOONANDSTARS77 4/19/2013 8:13AM


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DRUIDPRINCESS 4/18/2013 5:57PM

    Shock? You worked hard for this, deserved this... so you should be delighted and proud of your achievements. Congratulations! Have fun buying and wearing your new clothes!
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UWHK8STER 4/18/2013 12:20PM

    WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!! That's a problem I wouldn't mind having! Keep up all the great work!

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