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Non-medical meanings of medical words-- Tee Hee : )

Tuesday, June 26, 2012


Artery - The study of paintings.

Barium - What Doctors do when patients die.

Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome.

Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.

Colic - A sheep dog.

Dilate - To live long.

Enema - Not a friend.

Fibula - A small lie.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYLLYNNE 6/28/2012 4:48PM

    Perfect!!!! :)

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GRAMMACATHY 6/27/2012 12:37AM

    emoticon

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SAMMIESMOM13 6/26/2012 11:25PM

    Thanks for the smiles. :)

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MYSTERY-LADY1 6/26/2012 10:50PM

    emoticon

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TRAVELGRRL 6/26/2012 10:23PM

    Very cute! Thanks for the *giggle*

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WALLAHALLA 6/26/2012 10:23PM

    emoticon

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MYOWNHERO 6/26/2012 10:04PM

    LOL! I'm gonna give this to my doctor :D

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BARCLE 6/26/2012 3:43PM

    funny! emoticon

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WENDYSPARKS 6/26/2012 3:33PM

    emoticon

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3 more dr. jokes

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

A consultant at St Mary's Hospital, Portsmouth, England tells me that while passing through a frantic ENT [Ear, Nose and Throat] clinic, he overheard this curious bit of conversation:

Senior surgeon (angrily) : 'For goodness sake, nurse, get me my auriscope.' [a medical device which is used to look into the ears].

Distracted young nurse : 'But doctor, I don't even know your star sign.'







A former radiologist from Northern Ireland working at the Royal Belfast hospital tells that years ago, kitted up in leaden apron and gloves, he was conducting a radiographic examination of a woman's abdomen.

Finding that her clothing was causing some opacity on the fluorescent screen, he remarked, 'Would you pull down your knickers, please?'

The patient did nothing so he repeated the request. He then heard her say, 'I'm so sorry, doctor. I thought you were talking to the nurse.'







While I was waiting to see the orthodontist at Queen Alexandra Hospital, a woman came out of his surgery smiling. Nodding to me, she said, 'Thank goodness my work is completed. I'm so relieved to have found a painless dentist and one who's so gentle and understanding too.'

When seated in the dentist's chair, I related the incident to him. He laughed heartily and explained, 'Oh, that was just my Mother.'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DJ4HEALTH 6/26/2012 6:33PM

    emoticon emoticon

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WALLAHALLA 6/26/2012 12:59PM

    thanks for the giggles

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23KAIYA 6/26/2012 12:51PM

    :) love them, thank you!

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JCARDINAL 6/26/2012 12:43PM

    emoticon

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TXMEMAW6 6/26/2012 9:32AM

    Thanks for making me laugh today. Really loved the one about the mother!
emoticon emoticon


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LIS193 6/26/2012 8:15AM

    emoticon

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MERETONI 6/26/2012 7:52AM

    Cute, the last one was funny. :p

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GAYLLYNNE 6/26/2012 6:49AM

    Hahahahaha, love the mother one!!

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WALIDGAZALA 6/26/2012 5:38AM

    They are beautiful

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CHACHAOREO 6/26/2012 5:27AM

    Thanks for the jokes!

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Ready for 2 more dr. jokes?

Tuesday, June 26, 2012



Doctor : Are you on HRT?
Patient : No, income support.




Overheard in Sunnyside Clinic, Fratton, as a receptionist spoke to an obviously hard-of-hearing client, 'No Mrs Jones, not the HEARSE, I'm sending the NURSE.'


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARCLE 6/26/2012 10:15PM

    These were great emoticon

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SHARJOPAUL 6/26/2012 12:50PM

    LOL

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23KAIYA 6/26/2012 12:49PM

    ha ha ha, thank you for sharing

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JCARDINAL 6/26/2012 12:41PM

    emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 6/26/2012 9:28AM

    emoticon emoticon

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 6/26/2012 7:18AM

    emoticon

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KITT52 6/26/2012 7:04AM

    emoticon

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MRE1956 6/26/2012 6:58AM

    emoticon

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HIKINGSD 6/26/2012 6:45AM

    hehe

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WALIDGAZALA 6/26/2012 5:40AM

    The first were nicer
anyway THANKYOU
it is nice to start the day smiling

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My produce pile has diminished-finally. Today eat it up and get new stuff!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Here is what I have left:

a couple of apples
watermelon
sweet potatoes
onions
dill
basal
wish I had spinach
carrots
potatoes

skinless chicken --lots
a little cooked salmon--6- 8 oz. left
turkey Polish sausage--1/2 a ring left

nonfat sour cream


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAF49 6/28/2012 9:27AM

    C, I delight in your joy in life and the way you share it in so many blogs, jokes, happy thoughts etc. Even your food inventory is a delight as i just got done setting my refrigerator veggie and fruit drawers out to emty out the left overers, create today's meals and scrub the drawers and the bottom of the fridge so i can fill with all new stuff tonight when we get home from Farmer's market.

God bless your day - you are such a joy to my morning!!

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IMAREADER 6/26/2012 12:41PM

    Sounds good. I would love to take some of the potatoes, sweet potatoes, onion and carrots and make a big pan of roasted veggies (with a little oil and salt/pepper). Yum! I'll bet you can find lots of good stuff to do with the chicken, too.

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Thanks to a great sparkfriend, nutrition summary of veggies!

Monday, June 25, 2012

---------- SUNSHINE6442 wrote: ----------
Eating veggies is a good thing, I gave up red meat and started to lose. Red meat causes inflammation and inflammation means being fat..... so here is some more info for you that you might enjoy...

Sodium, sugar and carbs stall weight loss and also give you cravings.

Here is info to help you learn how your system works and how to lose weight....hope this helps you, it did me.

Always eat a carb and a protein 2 hours before bedtime to balance your blood sugar, something like one bread stick with seasame seeds and cheese, oatmeal & blueberries, cottage cheese and matchstick carrots and a seasame seed bread stick.

One of the reasons why carbohydrates lead to weight gain is the fact that their consumption leaves people feeling hungry, and Carbs are the main reason for increasing the body weight and not fats.

Eating carbs limits your capacity of using fat. Carbs are the main reason for increasing the body weight and not fats. The source of carbs doesn't matter, whether it is sugar, fruit, bread, or vegetable. Carbs get digested quickly and are converted into blood glucose in no time. Just after you have a carb-rich meal, there is a shoot in the sugar level in the blood, and your pancreas start producing insulin in large amounts to take care of the excess sugar in the blood.

Consuming fat doesn't lead to an increase in the blood glucose and thus, the insulin levels are also maintained. The insulin hormone is responsible for fat storage in the body and so it is important that its level is maintained in the body. As fats do not trigger insulin production, they are not accumulated as body fat. Insulin flushes the excess glucose out of the blood stream. It is first converted into starch which is called glycogen. Glycogen is stored in the muscles and in the liver. But there is a limitation to the amount of glycogen that can be stored in the body and so the excess amount is stored in the form of fat.

This is how the body weight increases. When the glucose level in the blood comes down to normal after around 90 minutes, the level of insulin is still the maximum. As the insulin is still present in the bloodstream, it continues its process of converting glucose into fat. As a result of this, the glucose level in the blood falls below normal, making you feel hungry again. So, when you eat a snack rich in carbohydrates, the whole process makes you even hungrier. Thus, irony of the situation is that although you are eating and getting fat, you are still hungry and want more. It is a vicious cycle of gaining weight and getting hungry. It is very difficult to come out of this cycle and avoid overeating.

Cutting Carbs for Losing Weight: So, you have loaded extra fat onto your body and now its time to pull it off. Here you face difficulties, since a carbohydrate rich diet does not allow you to lose the excess weight. Now, it's time to use the stored fat as a fuel. The body will use this fat as energy only when you cut off the supply of fuel, i.e. the blood glucose. There are two diet plans available to cut off the glucose supply. A low-fat diet is about starving and having a very low-calorie food. The other plan is to reduce the intake of starch and sugar from which the glucose is made, and to fill the void with another fuel, i.e. fat.

The latter plan has an upper hand on the traditional diet plan as it has two advantages. The first is that you don't have to starve and the second is that by feeding on fats, the body will not search for glucose and start to use its own stored fat.

Eating carbs limits your capacity of using fat. When you are on a diet, you increase your blood glucose, which in turn, stimulates the release of insulin. Even low concentration of insulin inhibits the process of breaking up fat by activating fat synthesis. In other words, when you resort to a low-fat diet which is based on carbohydrates, your body is forced into the fat-building mode and not the fat-burning mode.

High-carb breakfast foods include breakfast cereals, toast, jam, milk, yogurt, granola bars and fruits, and other meals may also include large amounts of carbohydrates, such as bread, pizza crust, rice, potatoes and pasta. Eat nothing white and no wheat bread either as they both give you a sugar surge. Eat Rye bread only or pumpernickle as both digest slowly and wont spike your body's insulin. You wont feell so tired either!

Eat only low carb fruits are pears, peaches, plums, cherries, apples, kiwi, all kinds of berries.

If you have pasta only get DREAMFIELD'S PASTA which has 5 digestible carbs and eat only two ounces the size of a quarter uncooked and add as much broccoli or green beans to your dish as you want.
Eat Your Broccoli to Lower Heart Risks and 4 walnuts daily.

WATCH OUT FOR SPAGHETTI SAUCE WHICH IS HIGH IN SUGAR,
I found Del Monte Traditional Sauce which seems to be the lowest in sugar
at Dollar Tree and Family Dollar stores.

Cereals are high in sugar and sodium, so eat only shredded wheat, puffed rice or
puffed wheat which has no sodium or salt or sugar, multi-grain cheerios (medium sugar intake of 6 grams) or Kashi 7 whole grain puffs (organic section $2.89 per box and eat with skim milk and berries to sweeten.

No Bananas! The longer your bananas sit around, the more likely they will be to give you a sugar surge and a headache since the sugar increases in the banana as they ripen.
Stick with berries.

The foods that were found to be most closely associated with weight gain are potato chips, potatoes (including boiled or mashed potatoes and French fries), and sugar-sweetened drinks. Potatoes show nearly three times the impact of sweets and desserts, If you must eat a potato, eat a red potato as they have less starch in them than the white kind or Mash red potatoes with steamed califlower, the potatoes taste the same and of course its much healthier because there is less starch. A baked potato once in a blue moon is okay! Potatoes are rich in carbohydrates. Yes, eat the skin becuase thats where the fiber, minerals, and nutrients are. like vitamin C, vitamin B and potassium. Load that potato with steamed broccoli.

Salad greens are very low in calories (maybe 10 calories a cup) and try to get the best nutrition from your greens. Romaine is high in nutritional value and so is spinach. So skip the iceberg lettuce. Kale is also good and loaded with fiber. The darker green, the better.

Add 2 ounces of Roast chicken, turkey, tuna, sardines, shrimp, crab, cheese, hard-boiled egg, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, walnuts, chickpeas, to your salads for variation and some raw carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, Cucumber, tomato, radish, peppers, cabbage, onion, olives, celery and avocado.

Vinegar helps control blood sugar so always have a vinegar & oil salad/ I try to get at least a small one in daily.

The body changes sugar into 2 to 5 times more fat in the bloodstream than it does starch.

Sugar induces salt and water retention. Sugar causes high blood pressure & can increase cholesterol. Sugar can produce a significant rise in triglycerides.

Sugar can cause drowsiness & sugar can increase the amount of liver fat. Sugar can contribute to diabetes. Sugar can cause depression. Sugar substitutes are no better.
Dr Mark Hyman Says "Stop confusing your body. If you have a desire for something sweet, have a little sugar, but stay away from “fake” foods. Researchers found that the total food eaten over 14 days dramatically increased in the artificial sweetener group — meaning that the artificial sweetener stimulated their appetite and made them eat more!"

He also says "Eliminate sugar and artificial sweeteners and your cravings will go away: Go cold turkey. If you are addicted to narcotics or alcohol you can’t simply just cut down. You have to stop for you brain to reset. Eliminate refined sugars, sodas, fruit juices, and artificial sweeteners from your diet. No Dried fruit either!These are all drugs that will fuel cravings."

Eat low carb, low glycemic and stay between 1200 to 1400 calories a day. Watch portion control, move every 20 minutes and do something. Take a walk after each meal even if its only a few mintues of walking.




Acorn Squash is a little ball of fire when it comes to potassium, omega 3's, vitamins A & C, and B complex. The taste is similiar to a sweet potato and is a good source of dietary Fiber. The squash prevents oxidation of cholesterol in the vessels and is low in carbs
and reduces inflammation.

Avocado An avacado is a low glycemic food and helps maintain glucose levels because it acts as a slower acting carb, so it slow rapid digestion and delays hunger pains. Perfect for diabetics and dieters alike, however because it is high in calories portion size must be controlled. Enjoyed in salads, or as a dip & this can be eaten alone.

Asparagus is a good source for Vitamins A, C, K, Folic Acid. Just 25 calories for 8 spears these spears will naturally detoxify your body, lower blood pressure and cholesterol. I read somewhere that it increases recovery from chemotherapy, can help asthma sufferers, and acts as an assistant and gets rid of excess water retention. Used as a side dish, with eggs, or as a soup.

Broccoli One of the best vegtables in nutrients is a low glycemic food. Rich in fiber and vitamin C, broccoli is even more beneficial than eating an orange. Mix with Dreamfiel's pasta, as a side dish steamed, in soups or eaten raw with a dip.

Cabbage High in vitamins K, C, D, and in calicium, magnessium and potssium cabbage is a good in the treatments of fungal infections, helps fight cancer cells, and detoxify's the colon. Because of it's high water content it is a great dieting tool. Also lowers cholesterol. Fantastic in soups, salads, steamed as a side, turkey cabbage rolls or try some shredded cabbage with your lettuce salad.

Cauliflower High in Vitamin C and fiber. Califlower contains no fat. It acts as a neutralizer to toxic substances, protects the liver in diabetics, and blood detoxifier, and a cancer protector. Helps with Asthma and high blood pressure. Mixed with mashed potatoes, califlower quiche,as a side dish with paprika or even cauliflower pancakes. Raw with a dip is very beneficial.

Celery Another high water vegetable that acts as a natural diuretic and has Vitamin C. Celery may be low in vitamins but is rich in minerals that our bodies need. Celery is low in carbs and is good for the pancreas, can help lower blood pressure, has anti-cancer properties, cleans out uric acid build up in the system for those with gout and can reduce inflammation.

Eggplant Eggplant is a low calorie low protein food however is high in mineral content. Eggplant should always be paired with a protein. Small to medium sized Eggplants are sweeter than the larger ones. Eggplants lower cholesterol, prevents the absorbtions of fats, may help in the prevention of cancer. Those with kidney or gall blader disease should avoid eating eggplant. Good as eggplant lasagna, eggplant burgers, as a side, casserole, in soups or stews.

Green Peppers High in water content the perfect veggie for dieting and great for diabetics. Also high in nutrients, vitamin A and C. Green peppers help the nervous system, they are high in fiber and keep the colon healthy, help asthma and RA sufferers. Raw, stuffed with chicken or sirlion and rice, in salads, stir fry, soups, as a garnish.

Mushrooms contain natural insulin and enzymes that break down starch and sugar in foods. You will benefit from vitamin D, the B vitamins, Iron Calcium and potassium. Mushrooms are extrememly low calorie are fat and cholesterol free. Popular choices are Portabella mushroom burger or mushrooms stuffed with crabmeat, or raw with a dip. If you have Candida or frequent yeast infections avoid mushrooms of any kind.

Onions Yellow onions provide us with A, C, and calcium and act as a n
atural diuertic which increases urine output. Onions lower blood sugar, lower blood pressure and is an antibacterial and an antifungal. Even just the juice of the onion is beneficial.
Red Potatoes These potatoes have less starch than white potatoes and have the ability to digest slowly. They are high in nutrition, Vitamin C, potassium and fiber. 1 medium potato has 110 calories and is 99% aft free. Add yogurt or sour cream instead of butter. I recommend eating red potatoes in moderation, maybe one a week.

Romaine Better than iceberg as it contains Vitamins A, c, K, and various minerals. High in water content and low calorie romaine helps reduces plaque or the reduction of the formation of clots, lowers blood pressure and cholesterol and fights cancer.

Spinach 1 cup of spinach provides your daily value of magnesium, a mineral that regulates blood sugar levels. Provides us with K, A, B, calcium, folic acid and vitamin C and has other essential nutrients for overall good health. Enjoy a spinach salad, on sandwiches instead of lettuce, steamed, and stuffed in chicken with feta cheese.

String Beans have an insulin producing quality and at about 40 calories per cup can help to prevent blood sugar from rising. Green beans can help lower blood pressure and cholesterol and is low in calorie and sodium. Good with Dream field’s pasta, as a side, in soups, stews

Sweet Potatoes will benefit you with beta carotene, Vitamin C, folate, manganese and calcium. Sweet potatoes digest slowly and are good for dieters and diabetics alike. Because this little sweetie digests slowly it control blood sugar and controls hunger pangs. Steamed, baked, as a side dish, great as a snack, homemade sweet potato chips or fries, sweet potato pie, in casseroles, stew....just about anything!

Tomato is a natural antiseptic and loaded with vitamins A, C, and K. Low in fat, able to reduce Cholesterol, keeps our bones strong, may reduce the risk of lung, prostate, colon and stomach cancers, may stop or delay macular degeneration, good for our heart. This low fat veggie is a great for all around health. Try to eat 1 per day.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOPINTOS 6/26/2012 7:38PM

    Thanks for sharing!

emoticon

Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
Melinda (gopintos)
Dr Oz Show Fans Team

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WALLAHALLA 6/25/2012 8:19PM

    That is a lot to remember!

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13610511 6/25/2012 7:06PM

    Excellent. Thank you! emoticon

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MRS.LAND 6/25/2012 4:38PM

    Thanks for sharing!

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1STATEOFDENIAL 6/25/2012 4:34PM

    Wow, I so don't agree with most of this. What is it that SP promotes: denying yourself an entire food group or macronutrient is bad. Denying yourself carbs is denying your brain fuel. Eating lots of carbs increases sodium and water retention? That's a blatant lie. (Most of my diet is simple carbs yet my doctor has me on 4000 mg/day of sodium to raise my fluid retention because my blood pressure is very low.) Sodium and water go hand in hand and carbs have nothing to do with that. Also, if your blood sugar is dropping below normal after eating then you have reactive hypogylcemia and it is a medical emergency that must be reviewed and evaluated by a doctor. (I have it and my doctors and nurses freak out when I hit blood sugars in the 30s-40s - yet I can't keep weight on.)

Plus, are you sure you want to continue on this diet when it is causing such severe pain and physical problems?

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GEOGIAGIRL2 6/25/2012 3:11PM

    A lot of great information in your blog.

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BOOKWORM27S 6/25/2012 3:00PM

    Very informative, thanks for posting!
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CLAIREESE 6/25/2012 2:59PM

    I have read this before but thanks for the reminder...good information....I have to add this though...Sugar itself doesnt cause water retention, but an over-indulgence in sugar can make your body over-produce the hormone insulin. Its this insulin which causes water retention.

Insulin helps your body turn sugar into energy or into fat (if you have eaten so much sugar that you cannot use it all). Consuming too many sugary foods or drinks on a regular basis could lead to very high levels of insulin in your blood. Insulin makes you retain sodium, a mineral thats found in salt. Whenever you retain sodium, you also retain water. The only way to get rid of this water is to avoid sugar. This is not easy, as its added to so many foods and drinks.
Low-carb diets are of course sugar-free, which is one reason why they can appear to make you lose a lot of weight very quickly. This weight is often not fat but water, which comes back as soon as you stop the diet.


Comment edited on: 6/25/2012 4:10:37 PM

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SIMPLY-VICKI 6/25/2012 2:01PM

  Good information for the most part. emoticon

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CHERYLN 6/25/2012 12:51PM

    wow, there's a wealth in information there! Thanks for sharing.

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DMF2012 6/25/2012 12:23PM

    Thanks for sharing so much great info.

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GLITTER60 6/25/2012 12:18PM

  i am on the carb addict diet where you only eat carbs once a day. i have lost weight and cut down on my cravings.

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