Tuesday, June 12, 2012
I only have a few minutes but need to write/connect/remember...
I've gone to work every single day since last Monday (yes, that includes the weekend) and I am tired. I haven't tracked a thing since last week and to be quite honest, haven't had the desire to sit down and track a thing since last week. And although the work has been extremely physical (think packing, moving, lugging) my diet has been extremely horrible (At least that's my impression of it. But since I haven't been tracking--who knows what the "damage" has been?)
What I cannot change:
I have been working like a dog.
I am very tired.
I have limited access to a computer.
What I will do:
I will write what I eat in the notes of my phone.
I will enter those notes into my tracker, at the very least, on Friday.
I will forgive myself and move the *@$# ON!
Friday, June 01, 2012
This is the second day of going well over my calorie range (think 1,000+).
Yeah, I know.
It's the same old story. I really want something I think I shouldn't have. I eat said something, and thinking it better not to waste the guilt, eat like it's 1999. I see it happening. I know it's madness. But somehow, I surrender to the feeling. Every time.
Usually after an episode like this, I don't see the point of continuing. I don't see the point of my previous efforts. Don't see my progress as being significant enough to make up for these shortcomings. Don't see any reason not to give up.
But I have decided that this is it.
I will track my calories no matter what. I will start over after every meal. No matter what. I will do my 10 minutes a day, every day, no matter what. And I will learn how to eat in a way that nourishes and energizes no matter how damn long it takes.
So I guess, when you look at it like that, it ISN'T the same old story. It's a brand new one. One in which the big picture isn't overshadowed by close-ups of imperfections. A story that ends gloriously.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
I have been diligently--patiently--recording my calories, desperately trying to find a groove. And although I've been active enough to offset the deviations (at least enough to lose a few pounds), I haven't gotten to the point where I reaping the full rewards of my 2.5 lbs a week calories-in-calories-out formula.
That is, of course, before today.
I am celebrating the hell out of not only meeting my calorie goals, but doing it while enjoying some of my favorite foods (in moderation ;).
Gotta love the *SPARK*!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
I'm reading this awesome book called "The First 20 Minutes"
by Gretchen Reynolds and had a BIG ah-ha moment:
Our bodies are designed to survive.
If, like me, you are not chasing antelope and running from predators on a regular basis, it might take a while for that to sink in.
Our bodies are designed to SURVIVE.
Not to mold to our idea of beauty. Not to release pounds for the upcoming beach season. Not to wow classmates at our high school reunion. But to survive; to do what it thinks is best at any given moment for the purpose of self preservation.
What does that have to do with weight loss? Apparently, quite a lot. But I'll summarize the big two. Firstly, it means that your body is very resistant to the notion of you losing weight. That's right, your body doesn't want you to loose weight. The second you begin expending more energy (or restricting calories), your brain sends out all kinds of panic buttons that urge you to replenish the calories lost and maintain your current body weight. (Plateaus, anyone?)
The second survival strategy is even more exciting than the first. Your body holds on to fat like its life depends on it. But then again, I guess it does. Our bodies didn't evolve in an environment of plenty; it didn't know there would one day be fast food restaurants on every corner. It evolved to cope in times of want, to have reserves. Just in case.
This is the best news I've heard in the 2 weeks since I started this fitness journey. Why? Because it means it's not me. Eating less and exercising more isn't hard because I'm undisciplined. It's hard because my body is not designed for weight loss, but SURVIVAL.
Today I will be a little gentler, and a whole lot more compassionate with myself. I will accept that my body is adjusting and has my best interests at heart. I will not panic when my stomach growls in protest. I will not blame it for moving slowly into my workout. I will remind myself that it's not me, it's just my body.
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