CRYSTALLYNN18   25,714
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the year in review: almost

Friday, November 18, 2011

well, it's been kind of a hard year, but not without good times and accomplishments. it hasn't been quite a year since i joined spark, but today is my 40th birthday and one of the main reasons i started this journey. i thought it would be appropriate to reflect on how i've done so far. while i still have a long way to go i have done the one thing i desired to do, and that was be lighter at 40 than i was at 39. so far i've lost 40lbs this year, both with spark and a little on my own. i have also made exercise a real part of my life and not just something i do for 2 weeks and then quit. i feel that i have more stamina and energy. i am proud that i am making a real effort to be healthier. i am thankful to God who has kept me through all the rough times, and for good friends who encourage me when i really need it. this year has been a blessing in many ways and i am looking forward to the next year. here's to doing even more by 41. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VLKSHA 1/19/2012 3:18PM

    You are Fabulous by Fourty and still finding more energy each day... Way to go!

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SUSIESJOY 11/18/2011 3:55AM

    emoticon Happy 40th Birthday!!! You are doing a fabulous job with your journey keep up the good work!

God Bless

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    Well done you - good luck with staying focused and reaching your goals...
Have a great weekend.

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when a bad day turns into a good day

Sunday, July 24, 2011

there is nothing more annoying than having your car break down. i should know it just happened to me on thursday night. well, this means that i'm taking to bus and walking until i can save enough money to get it fixed. however; in the middle of this set of circumstance; i had an epiphany. i realized that all the walking i'm doing is way easier than it would have been six months ago. thanks to sparkpeople and a regular exercise routine this is not as bad as it could have been. just yesterday i had to walk to the bank. this would have been hard before, but as i was walking back to work i noticed that i wasn't winded like i would have been and even the heat wasn't affecting me as bad as last year. i was so excited to see my hard work really paying off. i still have a long way to go, but i'm confident i'll get there eventually. this is definitely giving me the incentive to keep going. and hey, i can put all that walking in my fitness tracker. so, maybe this whole thing is a blessing in disguise. emoticon

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ASTROSCOPUS 7/24/2011 2:15PM

    Way to go! Love that you're looking at the positive in your situation.

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body image

Monday, July 04, 2011

so, i just took one of the quizzes that had to so with body image and i'm having a tough time with it. to be perfectly honest, i don't know if i'll ever be happy with my looks. this goes beyond weight issues: it has more to do with how i perceive myself no matter what i weigh. i really don't know how to get past this issue. i'm happy when i think about how i am making my body healthier and that i am doing positive things for myself, but i'm under no illusion that weighing less is going to make me that much more attractive. i would rather just concentrate on the health benefits and try not to think too much about how i look. i suppose i should be kinder to myself, but i just don't know how. if anyone has any suggestions or knows what it is like to feel this way i would love the feedback. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Learning to love yourself is a skill... Learning to love your body is also a skill and skills can be practiced...

As anyone who practices anything knows - we can allude to perfection and be happy with ongoing progress. It helps to have a metaphor that works for you because beauty is in the eye of the beholder rather than a static measurement. I am not sure if I am explaining this well so I will continue for a bit more using me as a case study.

I went bald at a very young age - early 20's and chose to think of bald as a wise "bald eagle" rather than skinhead for life. When I was overweight I thought I looked cuddly rather than obese. I like to think I am maturing like a fine wine rather than ageing rapidly. My concept of old is getting older - I am now in my 40's and can remember thinking 21 was ancient...

I practice saying nice things to myself and others, practice doing nice things, go out of my way to enjoy nice views or places and "hey presto" my life is much nicer.

Celebrate your difference, my nose is a bit crooked, my body shape could be more toned (although probably in the best shape it has ever been) and I am coming to terms with the reality that I am OK...

Not drop dead handsome, but nice enough and I am grateful that my body is healthy and works perfectly. In fact that was what I was trying to explain - having a body that works perfectly is better than having a body that looks perfect but isn't....

Skinny fat is an example, or a skinny smoker. Rather a perfectly working body...

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SPARKLYNEW 7/7/2011 7:28AM

    This resonates with my own experience. I want to enjoy my body at all stages "down the scale" this time. I don't want to always be thinking "another 15 pounds and I'll be perfect." Seriously, even at goal weight before, I'd always think how a few more pounds would give me an edge, make me better, prettier, etc. I so want to change that this time!!!

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it's been a hard month

Friday, June 24, 2011

so , it's been a while since i've written anything, but i need to get my thoughts down today. it has been kinda rough lately. it seems like i'm going nowhere, not just with weight loss; but with life in general. i know that God is good and maybe He's trying to teach me something here. so all i can do is hang on and pray and trust that He knows what He is doing in my life. i am a little frustrated though because this is at least the third or fourth week that i have stayed the same weight. i feel like i'm doing the best i can right now. i'm not going to give up, i just need a little encouragement. i did do something right today; i exercised even though i didn't want to. well that's all for right now. i would appreciate any ideas for how i can get out of this slump. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKLYNEW 6/24/2011 7:56AM

    way to go exercising even when you don't feel like it. have you checked out this series of plateau busters articles?
i'm a little bummed myself cause i lost 7 lbs last week and the scale hasn't budged this week so far, despite all the work i've done ...

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the importance of a good friend

Thursday, June 02, 2011

recent events in my life have helped me to realize the importance of having good friends. both here on spark and in my personal life, i have very good friends that really encourage me when it counts. it's easy to take that for granted when life is moving along smoothly. it's only when life gets hard that we can see the precious blessing of a good friend. also, during these times i have to ask myself if i am a good friend to others. this is an area that i can improve on. so, you may ask; what makes a good friend? i believe that it is a person who, when they see you struggling; will help in anyway they are able, and is there to listen when you need someone to talk to. they're not afraid of your tears, and they can handle it when you are frustrated. the most important friend in my life is Jesus Christ, He is the only one who can be all these things. i also have some very good friends who have proven themselves in the hard times of my life. all in all i really am very blessed, and it's good to remind myself. what about you? first, can you say that Jesus is your ultimate friend? He died for you, and took your punishment for your sins, so that you could live with Him forever in the place He has prepared just you you: heaven! all you have to do is turn away from your sins and accept His offer of friendship. also, do you have those in your life who you know are there for you in the hard times? if so i would love to here about them. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GREYFLOWER 6/2/2011 11:57AM

    I think we can all improve in being better friends to each other and I'm blessed to call you one of mine!

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