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It Might be Hope

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Last night I wrote that I was content to be in my own skin. I typed without really knowing what my fingers would write, and was surprised at what came out. Comforted. Itís not a state of being I can find in my memory.

Iíve had time to think about this today.. and Iíve come to the conclusion that itís the Spark site (and all the crazy wonderful people itís made of) that have helped me find this space. For the first time in.. I donít even know how long.. I can see possibilities. Options. But more importantly, the potential to act on them. For so long Iíve existed in a haze. No color. No connection. No real belief in anything more.

And now.. Iíve managed to act. Iíve managed consistency for three months. Three months of building-block steps that have helped me say good-bye to at least a few unhealthy habits. A few unhealthy beliefs. A few unhealthy, soul-numbing pounds.

Iíve been able to take control of a part of my life, one small step at a time. And while that particular journey isnít over, it gives me hope Ė tangible hope -- that I can do the same in other parts.

And for all of this, I am grateful. There is a tenuous peace inside of me tonight, and I will savor it while I can.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUSHCAT 5/24/2011 8:04AM

    Congratulations on your new-found insights. I am happy you find SP so supportive. You can keep these feelings alive, because you choose your attitude and how to react to each and every event that occurs in your life. Your background says, "Gratitude." Someone just pointed out to me yesterday that the word is almost like, "great attitude!" It sounds like you are already doing a great job, so keep it up!
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Comment edited on: 5/24/2011 8:06:13 AM

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BOJO70 5/23/2011 6:50PM

  What a wonderful picture of peace you have painted in my mind. What a beautiful blog to enjoy at the end of a hectic day.
Thank you!

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RYDERB 5/23/2011 4:53PM

    Great blog! Congratulations! You're in a great place, and everyday it's gong to get a little bit better!

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BARBAELLEN 5/23/2011 12:23AM

    What a great blog! I hope it's the first of many! You've been really supportive of my efforts, and I can't tell you how much your encouragement helps.

I don't know if you saw my blog today, but it's not unlike yours. I've also been thinking about how much SP has contributed to my feelings about things. Blogging has helped so much. I honestly don't know what my fingers will write, but whatever comes out is unfiltered. This way I can vent, share, ask advice or say whatever I want to. It helps me in ways I never, ever expected.

Keep up the blogging. It really does help you sort things out. I'm glad we're spark friends!!!!
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CIVPRO1 5/22/2011 11:14PM

    I agree, one day/block at a time = success!

Congratulations!>

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STORMYZCAT 5/22/2011 11:11PM

    Building one block at a time will lead you to success. It is wonderful to have a site like SP to support, comfort, encourage, inspire and understand us on our journey to a healthier life. Sounds like you are on the right path..CONGRATS on your milestones!

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