Tuesday, February 07, 2012
So, I'm a bad Sparkfriend lately. Ever since 2012 I have not been an active participant on Sparkpeople. I haven't taken on any new challenges, I've become a lurker of sorts, keeping tabs on Sparkfriends but not really commenting or more importantly sharing encouragement, support like I should be (& used to!). Not that I am saying that it is an obligation but face it, being active here kinda feels good. You feel like you are part of something. You watch the roller coaster of your Sparkfriends successes & failures. Much of which is diet related but c'mon sometimes it's not even about that stuff...at one point I knew the challenges my Sparkfriends were facing with their kids, injuries etc. Now I feel out of the loop...
WHY this sudden change??
It's a big ol'pitty party that's why. Because I don't feel 100% with getting over my illness I avoid Sparkpeople because I feel as though I am spreading negativity. This may sound crappy but sometimes seeing the...rahrahrah stuff when you feel like crap makes you wanna just click the little exit in the corner of your computer screen immediately & instead look up the latest rag mag gossip like Perezhilton.com or something. Of course celebrity gossip I assure you is not assisting me with making proper nutrition decisions or helping me get back my running form. All of what I am saying by the way is counterproductive because I *know* for a fact the more that I am here, participating in challenges, checking in with people, writing blogs, the better I feel overall about my health.
So, with this being said & now that I recognize the problem, I need to correct it! I WANT to be involved here so I need to just do it. I do not want to ignore my Sparkfriends because they really are awesome people. Really, I need to get over myself & get it together!
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Today I did it, & I am super PROUD! I finally ventured into outside running after being sidelined with pneumonia for all of January. I'll tell ya one thing, running outside is HARD! The treadmill ain't got nothin' on the freakin' sidewalk! I did a 4 mile run this morning but honestly it felt like I did a 15 mile run. The air was frigid, hard to catch air altogether. The slightest incline on what I perceived as "baby" hills before I cringed & plodded along wishing it would stop. I felt my feet hit the concrete, my thighs tightening each time, my calves pounding, even my stomach felt the movement as I eeked out my run. There was no loop of IPOD tunes that could distract me from feeling the pain! It was so much harder than I anticipated. I definitely took for granted the fact that I have developed amazing strength & endurance over the past 4 years of running. I will never again take it for granted.
After I was done, I was so proud too. Yes, it was hard but I'm making progress now, I fighting back! I will get to those double digit miles again & soon!
Friday, January 20, 2012
I hate even typing such a Debbie Downer title but I promised myself that good or bad I would make a concerted effort to summarize each & every week of the New Year mainly so that I can take a look back from time to time to see how far I've come.
Well let's just say that I feel as though 2012 hasn't even started for me yet. I've lacked energy & motivation all this week. I had a semi-good reason. See last week I found out I had pneumonia & against my will I hate to forgo any type of exercise unless I wanted to have heart failure from lack of breathing. But I sucked it up last week & just decided that this week would mark my comeback. The pneumonia would be water under the bridge & I would be back to my stellar self. I took my antibiotic like a good girl & even punished myself to my house all last weekend to ensure plenty of rest.
Well Monday came & I was raring to go. I went to the gym & almost died on the eliptical & bike. It was horrible! After work, still tired, hacking up a lung. Tuesday same thing. Tuesday night I came home & started crying on my couch to DH about how I don't understand how I could still be sick & would I ever be back to normal. It seemed so unfair! Constantly tired & depressed! Plus I was trying to get back on the wagon of eating relatively balanced meal as I was on the starvation diet the week before, not on purpose but when you are sleeping for 15 plus hours per day & are running a temp, appetite is the last thing on your mind.
Anyhow, after seeing how upset I was, DH decided that I needed to go back to the doctor because if I wasn't getting better after 7 days of antibiotics something was wrong. Sooooo, off we went. Well turns out after they did another x-ray, my antibiotic wasn't working!!! So I still have pneumonia & now I have another antibiotic, apparently something stronger. Well you can imagine how depressed I was Tuesday night after hearing this. I went home & proceeded to eat ice cream for dinner. Of course I resigned myself to the fact that exercising is out of the question which really p!sses me off because I am now officially behind on marathon training which sucks. & I can only imagine how hard it is going to be when I actually do start running again. Then because I am so depressed I have been eating total crap since then. Nothing overly horrendous but I have not been eating any sort of balanced meal just junk. I'm just depressed & want to feel better already & get back to being the kick @$$ athlete that I want to be!
Anyhow, I am attempting the gym tomorrow. Tomorrow will be my comeback to running. I promise on an ultra slow pace on the treadmill but I gotta get back somehow. I'm dreading how hard it's going to be but I'm also hoping that it will make me feel so much better when I done & I feel as though I'm finally making progress.
So January has not been kind to me, I'm kinda thinking that February is going to be the official start of 2012 for me because this cannot be a good "beginning" to a year!
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