Sunday, September 23, 2012
I have been beyond sick this week and I've gained roughly two pounds, I think, since all I did was lay in bed and eat whatever I could keep down, mostly toast and ice cream.
I have my weigh in with my doctor tomorrow and I'm beyond apprehensive. I'm not sure how well they're going to take it.
Wish I could just...drop 4 pounds in a day, hahaha.
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Today was exhilarating, even though it was a small victory, it felt huge to me.
I woke up this morning and weighed myself, despite it not being an official weigh in. Up two pounds. I was in a terrible mood all morning. Ate at work on both of my breaks, which as some of you know, is terrible since I work at McDonalds. Grumpy and feeling fat and unhappy, I trekked home, intending to stop at the grocery store to curb my chocolate and cheese cravings (my two biggest cravings). I -needed- Reese's Peanut Butter cups and I -needed- it in ice cream. Armed with a Hawaiian pizza and Red Velvet Ice Cream ( They were sold out of Reeses), I headed for the cash, walking through the vegetable section. I resolutely tried to avoid looking at the resplendent array of greenery, but something in me just made me stop. I thought about how hard I've been working, how sore I was last night and how I worked out anyways, how I dragged myself to dance class with a swollen ankle on Monday and I made a realization. Yes, I made some poor food choices earlier in the day, but I wasn't over my calories yet and as much as it would be satisfying to eat all of that crap, it would just hinder me further and I'd feel so much worse about it.
And so, I went back to the freezer section, relieved myself of my fatty burden and instead picked out some greek yogurt and strawberries and at the cash, since the Reese's craving was still there, I bought a chocolate bar. There was no need at all for me to have an entire tub of the stuff to consume anyways. When I came home, I calculated everything out and even with my chocolate bar and crappy eating earlier, I'll still be within range, which I wouldn't have been if I hadn't made the right decision.
Making that choice, to be reasonable and to stay within my limits was such a rush. I've always been awful at saying no, especially to myself, and it really opened up my eyes. I can do this, I realize now, and the only person stopping me all this time is myself.
Small victory, maybe, but it's the little ones that matter most.
Sunday, February 05, 2012
So, I know I've been on this site quite a while, since last February I believe. I will be completely honest, I haven't been using the tools here, or even really logging in. Weight loss is always a dream in my head and unfortunately one that I can't say I've been entirely motivated to reach, despite the lowest self esteem I've had in my life and mounting health complications. I don't see my friends anymore because I'm so embarrassed and I rarely leave the house besides to go to work.
But this last month, I've been trying. I started belly dance classes and actually managed to do a handful of 10 Minute Trainer workouts. I started making more conscious food decisions and logged my intake much more regularly than usual. Today, I joined the Beachbody website, in hopes that I can find motivation to keep up with my workouts. I took measurements last month, weighed weekly and today I took "starting" photos and a second set of measurements. I'm going to do this. I have to do this. I'll never be able to live my life if I don't and there's so much I want to do.
In the last month I have lost 5 lbs and 6 and a half inches. I'm going to post my "beginning" photos here and I apologize for the flub and squish, but I need to start somewhere.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
So, here it is.
I'm going to be completely honest.
I want to lose weight.
I've been too lazy, using a million excuses, to do so.
I blame my terrible fast-food job.
I blame my boyfriend for taking up my weekends.
This week, I blamed an ear infection and a lack of hot shower water due to our rental company being ridiculous.
Actually, that last one's fairly legit.
I need to just...stop. Stop passing the blame, stop making up reasons why I should eat that double cheeseburger or shouldn't get up to work out.
So, some things I need to start doing:
Stop eating McDonalds. Except for that new oatmeal. And their buffalo snack wrap. They're both pretty healthy/filling and honestly it really is hard not to eat there.
Getting up early to work out. It's been easier since I got my shift changed at work, but I'm getting lazier and lazier and it needs to stop.
Take the stairs. Walk to the convenience store instead of making Mike drive. Go for a walk in the evenings. I enjoy walking at night, the serenity of the cool air against your cheeks while some soul wrenching music plays in the background. It moves me, and it'll help me shake off this bum that threatens to consume my computer chair. After my ear infection goes away, though. Ow.
And non-weightloss related, I really need to dedicate time to writing. I should have so much more done than I do, and I'd kinda like to have something to show for myself.
I just really want to stick to this and I don't know how.
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