CRIMELLA   35,426
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This week...

Friday, December 27, 2013

Has not been so holly jolly for me and mine.
My great aunt died on the 23rd (also my mother's birthday... yay happy 50th...) and someone close to my mother in law died the 24th. My sister in law is in the midst of a divorce.

Christmas was small and the kids were very happy. The adults all liked what we got for secret santa but didn't spend much time in a festive spirit aside from the exchange.
I got the complete animated Aeon Flux series. Haven't been up to watching much so far but maybe this weekend.
The kids got jammies and popcorn stuff so they're looking forward to family night snuggled up tonight.

Here's hoping next year is better.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WANRAS 12/29/2013 9:05PM

    I was reading your blog thinking - is she related?? Holidays are often not real happy. We had the death of a dear friend on Friday Dec 20th, the third anniversary of my mother-in-laws death. And then on Thursday Dec 26th our Great Aunt passed. However - they are both in a better place, no longer in pain, so I am looking on the bright side. Big hugs to you and your family. Know that you are never alone as long as you have your Spark Friends with you.
emoticon emoticon

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CFMOSS 12/27/2013 2:43PM

    Sometimes looking for a good tomorrow is the best thing. Glad for the small positives - sometimes they're the only thing that keeps us going. Hug. emoticon

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I need a break

Sunday, November 10, 2013

So over the last week I had odd things happen to me. One day my eye was irritated and I thought it was because of my new contacts, later in the day I switched to my glasses. The next day I didn't wear my contacts but roughly 1/3 of my eye was blood red for most of the day which I thought was from the contacts the day before. I had written it off as irritation from my contacts. The next day, I work up to bruises on the tops of my feet and backs of my hands. It was normal before bed and bruised when I woke up. I couldn't figure out why so I started googling... I found a page with 8 lesser known symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis...
1- Shortness of breath (the past 2 winters I've had trouble breathing and been to 2 ERs and the VA clinic and another doctor and no one knew why... I was told it was a cold, then dry air, then whooping cough -without being tested for it-, then told 'it isn't asthma'; no answers and no solution but it comes on around december and goes away around march... during the coldest months I have it)
2-Numbness and tingling in the hands and feet (I've been having this problem for a while too but I thought something about how I was sitting or whatnot was making them sleep)
3-Problem lifting limbs (haven't had this issue thankfully)
4-Spots on fingers (not this one either)
5-Red eyes (see above)
6-Broken Bones (I had several stress fractures in my ankle joint years ago with seemingly no cause for me to have gotten them let alone that severely)
7- Bruising easily (see above; I also had this previously but they thought it was from anemia though I had no other symptoms)
8-Joint Pain. Okay well this one isn't so much LESSER known... anyway. I've had joint pain for many years now. The VA wrote off my ankle pain from the improperly healed ankle fractures, didn't check my knees at all, or my hips, and decided that my back is from DDD, a curve in my spine (I didn't used to have) and a previously fractured disc. They claimed the other joints were a vitamin D deficiency... well I have been taking vit D, often in higher doses than she prescribed and still I have some days I can barely move without being in tears. I have pains in joints all the way up to the base of my skull and all the way out to the smallest joints in my fingers and toes. On cold days, when I go outside and come back in it's hard to even move let alone straighten my fingers and even when I'm warm it's hard to straighten my pinkys and feels strained.

So I thought about all of this and knowing that it is often genetic, and also that my family -especially before my grandparents generation- didn't go to doctors given the choice... I asked my mother if she knew of anyone having RA in our family. She said yes my grandmother was diagnosed.

She then said the meds for RA contributed to messing up her blood and her getting her cancer -that I hadn't known she had-.

Then she asked me if I'd heard about aunt N. I hadn't so I asked what she meant. N and I had been really close when I was little. She said that N had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and given 3-4 months to live.

All of this on Friday afternoon...

And today... today G came by and wanted to wake D up after on 6 hours or so of sleep and knowing full well that he has trouble sleeping, let alone going back to sleep after someone wakes him up... Yet when I said not to wake him, I'm the a$$h*le. *rolls eyes* what ever. She's his sister, she's known him for 20 freaking years... she should know that that'd be a problem. When he did wake up he said yeah if she just woke him up to say 'hi, heres the money I owe you' he'd be pissed. Ironically he suggested what I did... give me the money and I'd give it to him when he woke up but she chose not to do that... Oh well. Don't care.

At some point in being overwhelmed with all of this I just quit caring. Other people's opinions and issues just don't matter to me at all.
I'm muddling through doing work for my 5 classes and working and trying to deal with everything else...
I'm taking a mini hiatus from BLC because I just can't handle that added in too. There are things I must do and BLC is a want not a need so it is on pause. I wish my classes were at my pace but they aren't so I have to keep doing them right now and I don't have the leave time to not go to work. I do have a coworker though who knows and understands so I spent part of the end of Friday in her office since it was quiet and undisturbed and I could just sit. N is fabulous to me...

So yeah... I need a break.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAPPY_AS_IS 11/12/2013 9:56AM

    Hang in there!!!

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LETHA_ 11/11/2013 7:55PM

    We can't always predict the twists and turns our path will take. Very best wishes on your continued journey to good health.

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    Hi there - I just read your blog, and wanted to let you know that my son has Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. If you really believe this is something you have going on, you need to see an opthamologist RIGHT NOW since you are having eye problems. Uveitis is often painless at first, but is nothing to mess around with. See your GP and have him do the blood work, but know that often the blood work comes back negative. You need to get a referral to a rheumatologist, and there will be a wait for that because there are not enough of them. In the meantime, don't mess around - go see the eye doctor. He can get you started on something, but it's so important you don't wait.

Let me know if you have any questions - I'll be glad to answer what I can.


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GOING-STRONG 11/11/2013 1:40PM

    You do have a lot on your plate right now all right. Take the time you need to gather strength and energy and we will be here. Sending positive healing vibes your way.


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GREENTOMKAT 11/11/2013 10:50AM

    I'm so sad to hear all that you are going through right now. You are so strong and accomplishing so much! I just wish you all the best and thanks for letting us know what is going on. emoticon my friend!!! I will miss you!!! Take care of yourself dear.

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A1KAYOS 11/11/2013 8:31AM

    I agree with Alice, there are times were we have to reassess our situations and priorities and make adjustments!! Remember that the internet can justify or negate any research to lean towards what we want the results to be - so before you hang your hat on having RA, please go see a doctor and have it confirmed. Once it is confirmed you and the doctor can devise a plan that will work for you. When it comes to friends and family you have the absolute right cannot care if they don't like your decisions. What matters is that the decisions you make are right for you and your immediate family. emoticon Please take care of yourself and stop by the SEALs anytime you want.

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AODEFEY 11/11/2013 8:15AM

    Good luck and God bless with all things before you. I recommend the serenity prayer. It helps me get through each day! emoticon

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CFMOSS 11/11/2013 7:46AM

    Big hug....really big hug. Wish there were easy answers to life bumpy, icky, nasty intrusions. I do encourage you to take time for yourself in some way - even if that self care is getting to a physician, preferably a specialist who can help you take care of you. Again, really big hug to you - but I won't squeeze too emoticon hard because you don't need any more bones with breaks.

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MABELL1WFTX 11/10/2013 11:49PM

    There are times when life becomes a mesh of situations. We just have to step back and sort them out and then decide on the priorities that we must set. A lot of the times, our wants have to be set aside so we can handle the priorities. Sending lots of positive thoughts and vibes your way. Whatever the outcome of your physical problems, let your faith take over and set out to not let it get you down. I know, easier said than done most of the time. Just hang tight and think everything through a little at a time.

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SISTERPRETTY 11/10/2013 10:54PM

    emoticon emoticon you are in my prayers

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Does it count

Saturday, October 26, 2013 intentional exercise if I took the kids to a trick or treat event and went 13,000 steps? LOL
It was fun and since I dressed up too, some people even gave me stuff :)

Though I realized when I came to post this that when I edited my BLC tracker, it didn't load so I just reposted it... Ah well. C'est la vie.

I'm burning my caramel apple cider Diamond Candle (it smells so yummy) and making dinner (pork with green beans, rice and cream of mushroom gravy).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOING-STRONG 10/30/2013 12:55AM

    Oh yum... your dinner sounds fabulous! and congrats on 13,000 steps! Way to go!


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LADYDG 10/26/2013 11:36PM

    I say yes sure it does!! Exercise is exercise, if you ate a donut , that would count because it's food.. so why wouldn't exercise..

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Friday, October 25, 2013

Donating blood yesterday alongside life's usual craziness has left me exhausted today.
Shopping and cooking to do today. Trick or Treat Street to do tomorrow. And A's B-day party to do Sunday. And finishing up class work that's due, cleaning house, doing laundry...

Definately going to pace myself and if it doesn't get done then it just doesn't but ya know... as long as class is turned in and we get to ToTS and the party, it's good enough.

I'll also be gyming it... Took B last time, might ask V or J to go this time. We'll see. L isn't interested in going...

Eh, thats all I've got for an update for now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLEARNIGHTSKY 10/25/2013 11:08PM

    I hope your workout went well!

I know there are some limitations to working out after giving blood; hoping you went easy on yourself.

Good for you for taking it one step at a time. Life is just hard sometimes. I am pulling for you!!


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Day 3 of my migraine...

Monday, October 07, 2013

And I have to go to work. Fabulous (said in a singsong voice)
Got an exam and 11 quizes done yesterday though...

Ugh. Off I go...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOING-STRONG 10/7/2013 9:15PM

    So sorry you are feeling under the weather... and having to work on top of that is really the frosting on the cake NOT!

Sending healing vibes your way.


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CFMOSS 10/7/2013 10:38AM

    So sorry on the migraine - my daughter struggles with them. Here's to its passing and a better day.

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DIETER27 10/7/2013 10:22AM

  weather changes does not help. Hang in there.

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