CRESIDA   33,943
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This should be

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I'm taking a break from writing one of my seminar papers to post an update. (Hence the "rhetorical" - I'm writing a paper for my rhetoric class. 10 out of 20 pages so far!) I realized after finals last semester that I really do deserve occasional breaks to clear my head and think about what I'm arguing. It means the puppy has gotten lots of frisbee time.

This semester has been very hard on both Steve and I. Money's reeeaallly tight, and both of our cars broke down in the last four weeks. (We were just going to let mine sit until we had more money, but then Steve's clutch went out and it was cheaper to replace the starter on my Jetta. Oof!)

On top of that, the puppy ate my ipod yesterday. By "ate" I mean that she just had a lot of fun chewing it up, so the casing is bent like crazy (so the buttons won't depress) and the lcd is cracked. I think she knew I'd been researching how much longer we had to wait before she got to go on the C25K program. There's no way for me to time our runs without the ipod!

But a lot of great stuff is going on. In a weird inversion today, Steve sent me a text message that just said: "Tell me it's going to be okay." And suddenly, I knew it was and I believed everything that I said to him - even though yesterday I was asking myself how it was ever going to all be okay, how I was going to finish three seminar papers, find a summer job, pay all of my bills for the month. I just feel very zen about it today. Everything will happen in it's own time. We're a great team and we'll figure everything out.

Other things that make me happy: my little sister just graduated from college and she's starting med school later this summer! (And she's active on SparkPeople again. And she's focusing on eating more meatless/low-meat meals. Hurray for a cooking buddy!) My best friend has rebooted her running program, which is absolutely inspiring. I keep getting SparkGoodies from my mom (which reminds me to log in).

All right, back to Cicero. Keep moving!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IRETA49 5/6/2009 12:30PM

    You and your sister are a great encouragment for me. I need to get really busy and lose this weight. You guys help me remeber why I need to buckle down and do it!!!

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TOWANDA132 5/6/2009 9:52AM


That is an awesome attitude, and your right, it will all be ok in the end, if it's not ok, it's not the end.
Keep going girl, you are doing great.

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LILFAE 5/6/2009 8:24AM

    Isn't it funny how it's easier to tell your partner "everything will be ok" when they're worried than it is to tell yourself. I've experienced that a lot with Jared.

You guys are a great team. I'm so happy for you.

It's time for me to buy new running shoes. I want to run the Fireman's 5K in July. I ran into Heather (yurchak) Wheeler. She said Matt ran a full marathon with his wife last weekend and she an Brad are running a half-marathon in a couple of weeks. I need to be in seriously good shape for med school!! I would love to even consider a half marathon...ever. Right now we'll work on the 5K. Maybe Tiff will run it with me!

Comment edited on: 5/6/2009 8:28:24 AM

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CARILOUIE 5/5/2009 10:18PM

    Good luck with that paper! I just finished up a class and had a ton of papers to write. I know how it is with a full-time job! Taking a break is a great idea.
Spark on!


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    Hang in there--life really does get easier. I remember the days of going to school full time, working and having big talks with my honey--did we have enough money to buy a pizza from Domino's?!?!? We lived off noodles in those days. But they really are memories I treasure. Somehow, depending on one another like that pulls you closer than most anything else. Now, twenty years and four kids later life is still good. You guys are building a foundation that will be strong well into the future. Everything really will be ok. :) Good luck on your paper!! (That is one thing I don't miss! Hee!)

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Thoughts from an easily distracted kitten

Sunday, April 26, 2009

I need to get back to being active here. That's about the only thought that I have. The puppy has gotten huge, although she's still not big enough to start training as a running buddy. Which is a shame, because I think running off some of that puppy energy would help immensely.

That's all for now. More later. I need to keep checking in with myself, because I keep getting lost in finals land...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOTPANDA 4/27/2009 4:43PM

    Oh, finals land... I'm lost there too. emoticon

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MORNINGSPRITE 4/27/2009 3:59PM

  I'm trying to get active again myself...If you're interested in working together on something, shoot me an email. I really need to get active again

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Reflections on my life

Sunday, March 15, 2009

This morning, at about 9:30 am, I was sitting here, at my computer, in my fuzzy purple bathrobe, drinking my coffee. I heard the puppy, who was outside running in our fenced yard, barking, so I went to the backdoor and called her in. She looked at me, tongue lolling happily out of her mouth and raced over, bouncing when she got to me. I laughed and picked up all 30 pounds of her, asking her if she was barking at the neighbors. My fiancé was sound asleep in the bedroom. Both cats scattered from the kitchen as soon as the puppy was back in the house.

At that moment, I was struck with how happy I was. My Sunday morning, my peaceful Sunday morning, seemed so complete. And for some I thought about just how far my life had come in the last five years.

Five years ago this April, my (ex-)husband and I separated. We were about two months out from our third wedding anniversary and the relationship had been rough since just a few months after our wedding. The decision and process of actually separating were rough, tumultuous, chaotic. I remember, of the many fears I had at that time, the biggest was realizing how much I would have to rebuild. I was moving back to St. Louis with no job, no furniture, just under a thousand dollars, debts - some in poor shape, and years of emotional baggage. Some days, after I moved, I would realize that I was essentially living in a closet in a basement. Half of the nights that I spent crying to myself it was because I realized how much of a hole I was in.

I was lucky though. I had a very strong support system, between my friends and family. I had a lot of people to listen to me and give me advice. And I had two friends who gave me a place to stay for next nothing and who made a windowless basement bedroom feel like home. Through all that love and support I was able to find a job I loved, start saving, get my debts in order, get counseling, be able to afford a place with real rent, and stay somewhat sane through a really painful separation and divorce. I learned so much about goal setting, and the counseling helped me build up the confidence and skills to actually apply it. Joining SparkPeople helped supplement that.

Now, my life has done a complete 180 from where I was at 25. I'm moving along in a career I love. I've been in a strong relationship for over three years now. We're renting a house, with a yard and a fence. We were able to adopt a puppy this January, with all the emotional, time, monetary, and space commitments that implies. I have furniture and finances that are in order. When I was a teenager, I never really dreamed a domestic bliss. I dreamed of getting out and seeing the world and having a challenging and stimulating career. And I do still dream of those things. But that solid domestic foundation that I have now, the house that feels full and safe, is definitely a happiness that took me by surprise. This morning, I'm very proud of myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAUDON 3/16/2009 10:11AM

    I love those rare moments of bliss. You have come a long way, and you deserve the success you are having now. Thanks for sharing this blog!

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TOWANDA132 3/16/2009 9:13AM

    So glad to read this, happiness and contentment go a long way!

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A*L*P* 3/15/2009 6:00PM

    Wow, you really have come a very long way -- you sound like such a strong person. There is nothing like having that feeling of complete contentment and happiness. It is a wonderful feeling! Nice blog! Thanks for sharing!

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KIERAE 3/15/2009 12:34PM

    I am so glad that things came together for you Cres! You really sound very happy and congrats on your engagement. emoticon

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St. Pats-ish and some lovely weather

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I wouldn't exactly say that I started off today on the right foot. While a friend of ours ran in the St. Pats Parade run this morning, I stayed up late, slept in till 9:30 and then we went to the pub to meet up with him and some others for a St. Pats lunch. So, I treated myself to a reuben. And some chips. And some Bailey's and coffee. Yeesh. My foodtracker didn't t like that at all. But... I have a light dinner planned, that's very veggie heavy. So I shouldn't go over my calories goal. (My sodium, however, is shot for the day. I'm not worried though, I'm usually very good.)

This evening's run was lovely. The temperature was perfect for breaking out a tank top! I'm off my game because I've really slacked off lately, so the numbers aren't impressive. But they're still numbers: distance 2.43 miles in 32:08 - that includes 10 minutes for warm up and cool down.

Oh, well, back to Cicero.


Scratch that weather complaint

Friday, March 13, 2009

The sun came out and it's beautiful. We've run around the yard like crazy people (or dogs).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAUDON 3/13/2009 2:58PM

    YAY for the sun! I just got back from a long walk with 3 large dogs. Fun, but I am exhausted! Hope the weekend stays this nice!

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