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CRES765's Recent Blog Entries

Hello To All

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Due to my on and off of this website, I forgot how to use blog and where to click it hehehe, luckily I figure it out now. I will do my best to tell about myself of what is going on of me here in the Philippines.

My life is fine and no matter how busy I am but I do my best to do exercises every day. Some times if I am very tired in the night I will make sure the following morning I do my exercises. This is why until now I am still fit and sexy hehehe. I still can wear a fit blouses or hanging blouses it shows up my flat billy to the public, my food I ate are nutritious food and lettuce salad it helps to me a lot. People think I am still of my 20's hehehe but the truth is I will become 37 years old next month on August 12,2014. One man think I am still single because my body is yummy that's what he said to me. But I replied to him that I am old and married person and I walked away from him. Any how I have to do my exercises because I would like to stay fit and sexy most especially of my 37 years of age compare to my 36 years of age.

My life is very busy right this moment, because since my step daughter in law was gone to Canada, I am the one who done all the jobs. First of all the laundry, cooking, ironing and shopping and pay the bills and cars and etc. plus supervises the workers. But the main job that I have is our businesses. Right this moment our business is the lettuce vegetables. If I have delivery of lettuce to the malls, I have to sleep early in the night so that I can wake up early in the morning and do harvesting and packing and after the harvesting and packing I will deliver the lettuce to the malls. Some times I deliver the lettuce to the mall and the beach resorts together plus I have another jobs need to be done. In the night I am so tired. But no matter what happen to me, I always bear it to my mind that I have to do exercises this is why if I am so busy in the morning I do exercises in the afternoon except Sunday because I make sure the Sunday is for my God and no exercises. Some times if I sleep in the night I can feel my body like died so no exercises but the following morning or afternoon I make sure I do my exercises.

We have four businesses right this moment. One of our business is our website advertisement. I started to gave flyers to the people but my husband said to me, I must stop for a while because our website need to be fix. This is why I stop for a while. But if our website will be fix again, my life will become very very busy because I must go to the people and convince them to post ads to our website so that we can make some money.

Next year my husband is planing to fly back to Canada to sell some of his gold. If he will sell his gold we will buy the property next door. It means that my life will become super busy, because I will going to use my knowledge about plants and I will plant more vegetables, herbs and spices and sell them to the malls, beach resorts and restaurants because they are looking for it. But I will not forget my daily exercises too because gardening to me it does not works because I am taking a medicine for my brain and the side effects is gaining weight. This is why I have to do my daily exercises no matter what happen to me. No matter how busy I am, I have to look after my physical body and mind together.

One thing it worries me is my husband because from time to time he feels dizzy spells. My husband is 72 and will become 73 years old this coming October, 2014. Hopefully every thing will be all right both of us this year and next year and all the years to come.

My husband wrote a book about Philippines Organic Farming. He and I are the one who book bind them and make books and I sell his books to the stores. This is one thing my life is busy too.

Right this moment my husband took off my computer away from me and he replace to his computer because his computer was broken. This is why I don't have computer and I can use his computer while he is sleeping or not around in the house and if I am not busy too. It is my day off today because its Sunday and my husband still sleeping so that is why I am using his computer now and it is my day off today too, so I will enjoy my day off. Today Sunday is for my God the Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ and the Holly Spirit, no exercises. Sunday is Holly Day to me its for my God day.

This is the new update of my life. Thank you for reading and visiting my blog.

Respectfully Yours: Cres Reinders



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PICKIE98 7/27/2014 4:33PM

    I sure wish I had you here to garden for me, Cres. We are surrounded by water on three sides, have humidity at 50-100% most f the summer months,,

How is your mom doing? Your stepson and daughter-in law went to Canada? That is above where I live!! I live in Michigan!

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Merry Christmas and Advance Happy New Year To All SP

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Merry Christmas and advance happy new year to all SP.

Its Christmas time and the new year is coming again. Life must go on no matter what happened to us. After the typhoon Bopha or Pablo hit our place, life still must go on no matter what calamities we have had. During the typhoon I was on my vacation to Cebu the next Island from Negros where I were live. I dont have any experiences how strong the wind was in Negros, because at Cebu Island the wind is not very strong. The Bopha typhoon destroyed some of our few trees, and many electric post destroyed this is why we dont have electricity for two weeks, and no water of one week. I was glad that before Christmas we have our electricity back, and our life is gone back to normal again now.

To all my friends and co SP who post my blog, thank you very much. I am glad your responses.

I have a story and this is reality of my life. When I was a child their is a little boy who dont like to be friends with me, he hates me. I dont why he hates me, I done nothing to him but I have so many friends around me and he dont have one. Then one time, I asked him to be my friends, and I apology to him if I done wrong. Then after all, he and I became friends. When I was at college, my classmates dont like me, and one of my classmates jealous of me, I dont know why she jealous of me, because nothing to be jealous of me. I was a working student do all the hard worked at school and at home and etc. To make her happy, I asked apology to her if I done wrong please forgive me together with the flower to offer her a peace. Then I got her forgiveness. Last week, my husband and I have a misunderstanding, is not directly my faults because I am not the only one who live in our area. To ease his angry feelings to me, I knee down and I asked his forgiveness. I said to my husband do what you want to me, as long as you forgive me of what I done to you. Then this week I am happy, because my husband forgive me. To me my Christmas is complete.

This is the reason why, I can handle to forgive and forget to my husband and even to myself some time if I done wrong. Because my motto is to commit a sin is a human and to forgive is the holy.

Love your enemy, if a person threw you a stone in return threw her or him a bread. To show the real love to God. Asked forgiveness even you dont did or do bad against other person, be nice and being friendly. This is the real love to other people, to myself, and to God. This is why, I can be friend with my husband girlfriend. I know very few people in this planet can do what I done. I am still young, I like to look back my life if I get old, and I can say to myself, I done a good thing into my life. If my husband run away to his girlfriend and leave me, I am not scared at all. But I dont want to give a reason for having an affair for separation. To me, woman is not the hindrance of my true love to my husband. If my husband will still do it, my apology to him is often. I know how to forgive even a person dont ask my forgiveness.

Thank you for reading my blog. Merry Christmas to all my friends and co SP.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBIEANNE1124 12/26/2012 12:06PM

    It's great you were not hamred or on your island when the typhooon hit.

Only be responsible for your own actions when God is involved.

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PICKIE98 12/26/2012 8:53AM

    Yes Cres, you do have God's love in your heart. Whatever those other people and your husband have motives for is their problem and responsibility. You only have to answer to God for YOUR behavior and motives, ,,they will be answering for theirs.

I am glad you were not on your island during the typhoons. You may have been injured or killed. God has you in his arms.
I hope your farm was not damaged too badly and that you can start back to work again without losses. a BIG hug to you for Christmas. Linda

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RAPUNZEL53 12/26/2012 5:41AM

  Same to you!

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I AM FRIEND OF MY HUSBAND GIRLFRIEND NOW

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Last month I heard from my husband that he have a short term girlfriend much younger than myself, more than 13 years younger of me. I was shock in the first time. I and my husband bringing some ripe mangoes, and I dont know where we are going my husband did not tell me where we are going, he just said just wait and see okay, then we went to the little houses and my husband said to me give that mangoes to Mae. I said to Mae, ahhh your Mae. I heard about her from our friends and she is the one who keep texted to my husband cellphone. The reason why I know she texted to my husband it is because one time my husband done some work and he is busy reading his messages and he give his cellphone to me and I read it. I read the name Mae wants you to visit her house. I said to my husband what house, and who's this Mae name? Then I found out that he been cheated me for a year. Then I was surprise that we give her a ripe mangoes when our mango trees full of fruits, I still hold of my emotions and be nice to her. I said to Mae the gf of my husband, ahhhh you are the one who keep texted to my husband. Mae response to me, I am a Virgin Mary not you. I dont like you. Then my mind was blank, I forgot what I feel inside me. Then when we reach home, I fought my husband because my emotion-ed gone back to me again. I was very upset to my husband and I cried and shouted to him. Its painful to me because he been cheated me for a year and I just know it, and he dont want me to do the same to him. Plus I can not do it such thing too, I say it because I was very upset to my husband.

Later on while I was talking and tears all over my face. I realize that I am lucky compare to Mae. Because first of all, I have a house, I have farm, I have money in the bank, I have my husband too. My husband said to me he wont leave me because of her but if I keep giving him a problems he will leave me. I realize to myself, do I survive without my husband? To me its not, I still need some body to love me and care for me. I love my husband no matter what happened woman is not a hindrance to my love and care for him. I can accept my husband of what he is, and all his love and care for me, I treasures them in my mind and heart. I want to love and care my husband tell he died. Little fun for himself I dont mind as long as he wont leave me. I know I can find another one but the years living together to me its a gold. I realize when I took a married vows I promise for bitter and for worst tell death to us part. I mean those words. When I was sick my husband is with me, I do the same to my husband too but that is showing love and care, showing also the married vows for better and for worst. When I was sick in the head my husband care for me, listen to me, and let me drink my medicine and etc. He love and care for me. Then I realize his little side from time to time that I have to accept too, because he is happy. I have to give his happiness to show for better and for worst married vows. I realize too that, what I do I have to be nice with my husband girlfriend. Be friend with her, and knows about her. Because I dont want my husband and I will separate because of the woman only. I said these words to my husband, no matter what happen I dont want you and I will separate. We stuck together forever. My husband said to me too, that we stuck each other Cres. I still trust my husband even though I know he cheated me.

Yesterday, I have a foreigner friend looking for a girl friend. My husband gf Mae is really pitiful when I heard about her family back ground. No money to buy nice clothes and sandals, so I let my clothes and sandals and make ups to be borrow for her date and I gave my make ups to her and lips sticks too. I put make up of her face, and arrange her hair to look her pretty. I do my best to help Mae, because I want Mae to have a better life. Not being a mistress all her life but to be a wife and have a husband called to be her own.

My husband said to me, if Mae no money he will bombom her again and give her some money, but my husband is scared a little bit now because Mae been around with others specially to our foreigner friend too. But I said to my husband please I dont give me the bacteria to transfer of me. Make sure that no bacteria before you touch me or I kiss you. Because its not fair to me if you give me bacteria. Not being fair in my part if I have bacteria from the woman because of my husband cheated on me. I wish I can do the same way but I can not do it. To me, as long as my husband is happy I am happy too. This is why, we have peace and quite living now. My husband open a dollar bank account to me too. Then the other day, I had a car accident, luckily no people hurts. I paid 1100 Can dollar of the damage. I am glad that my husband did not said any bad words. I am so stupid I did not watch on the road and I fix my cat sit, I put cat under the shield and did not watch the road. I learned my lesson now, this is twice happened to me. One is my motor bike, and the 7 days ago is the car. The truth is I am scared a little bit to drive. But I still keep going. Lucky me that my husband very understanding, and he is not upset of me at all. Then he did not asked me for pay him back the money. I am sad too, to loose the money and being on the accident its so hard for me.

Today, my husband and his gf and I met again. Because I took back my dress and sandals that Mae borrowed from me. Then I said to Mae, that I have another foreigner friend looking for a girlfriend too. I wish Mae well and to find her own husband one day. I know she have a hard life, but life is always hard its up to us how to play it.

Thank you for reading my blog.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NIAGCHRIS246 5/19/2013 8:33PM

  This was posted a while ago and many people have given their opinion and advice so I will say just one thing to you: Cres, protect yourself. Take care of your health and your mind. Protect your investment in your home. You have worked hard and put much effort in your house and farm. Protect your investment.

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ZACEVETOB 11/29/2012 10:20PM

    Wow you sure are a bigger woman in this, i know most ladies could not stand to be near a women who had cheated on with her husband. You have a good heart of forgiveness.

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CASEYTALK 11/29/2012 3:47PM

    People change over time. She is the best one to judge what she wants out of life. If she wants to leave her marriage, she should leave her marriage. If she wants to stay in her marriage, knowing what she does, she needs to make that choice.

There are many reasons why husbands or wives stray. It happens many many times without the spouse learning of it, yet those relationships sometimes continue to be strong and happy. You probably also know families where one partner has strayed, they've gone through really rough times, but now they're back together and stronger than ever. Every situation is unique. I am not saying that people SHOULD break their marriage vows. I am saying that they often DO and each couple must deal with it in the way that is best for them. Those outside the relationship cannot answer it for them. If she were saying she wanted out, I'd support that. Instead, she is saying she wants to stay and make it work, so I support that. She knows best what is right for her in her situation.

Comment edited on: 11/29/2012 3:52:10 PM

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ANYANP2 11/28/2012 4:10PM

    What I say below is based on the obvious fact that you are not ok with this situation and are clearly putting up with it out of the fear of losing your husband. If it were clear to me that you were 100% ok with this and that this is a life choice you have made for yourself, I would wish you well and leave it at that.

Another part of your vows would have been "forsaking all others".... he has not done this.
He has disrespected you and the sanctity of marriage.
You may honour your vows, but by letting him dishonour his, you disrespect yourself and the god you worship.
For better or for worse does not mean letting your husband go outside your marriage.

@Casey... I do not disagree that polygamy is in the bible. But will point out that the marriage vows for a polygamist are different to the mainstream vows. Also, polygamy is not a decision made by the husband regardless of his wifes feelings, it is either a family/community custom or a decision made by a man and wife to bring another into their marriage... not a licence for a husband to cheat against his wifes wishes and the vows he made to her.


Comment edited on: 11/28/2012 4:14:24 PM

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CASEYTALK 11/28/2012 2:55PM

    Those who talk about 'in the eyes of God' are forgetting that in the bible polygamy is very common. Sarah gave Abraham her handmaid Hagar so that Abraham would conceive a child, for example. There are countless examples.

Your life is YOUR life.

You would prefer that your husband not cheat on you, of course, but you cannot change what has happened. The only people who truly know what a relationship is like are those IN that relationship. It would be different if he were beating you as you have to protect yourself. You've told him he has to keep himself clean and I hope you've told him that means a condom always as it would be unfair for him to bring a child into the world with a woman who has no means to support one and unfair to bring disease back to your marriage.

There are many relationships in the world that include more than two people. If it works for YOU, then it is no one's place to argue it.

emoticon

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JANDK156 11/28/2012 2:54PM

    Cres, I can see from the comments that a lot of people posting don't know much about you and your situation, or your culture. I'll message you.

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NH_MOM 11/28/2012 2:34PM

    If you can trust him again and get past Mae then I say go for it. If you catch him again with Mae or anyone else then I think you'd be better off w/o him. Judy is right about God not allowing people to divorce but if one commits adultery(as long as it can be proved) than divorce is permitted. If my husband cheated on me for a year I think I'd tell him to hit the road. In the end you need to do what is best for you.

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BANKER-CHUCK 11/28/2012 11:30AM

    Your husband has a GF for the past year!! Marriage vows ar sacred but are gone when betrayed. Unless you like the idea of having Mae around you should stand up for yourself.

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DEBBIEANNE1124 11/28/2012 11:04AM

    What the others said!
In my book a marriage is sacred. there's no gf's allowed.
Or bf's.
Keep that good attitude.

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GINA180847 11/28/2012 9:22AM

    Your attitude is quite mature for the place you live and the life you and others around you live. It would not be appropriate for my life but hey different strokes!

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JUDYAMK 11/28/2012 8:51AM

    This is such a sick marriage, I think it s a sham, in the eyes of God it is totally wrong for your husband to be doing this. He will stand before God one day like all of us & be accountable . To openly flaunt this is being a mockery to God,.God does not allow divorce however in the Bible it states because of people's hardness of their hearts he gave it up to them. I would run from that marriage like the devil is chasing & gaining on me!!!!
Judy

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1935MARY 11/28/2012 8:15AM

    Woo! My vows means everything to me too. For better or worst, in sickness and health. I would stand by my man, if he was, sick ,when he is down, if he lost his job, I would be supportive in things he does, but I would draw the line at an girlfriend. If he wanted to help some one who was less fortunate that would be okay, but not dating them. I may forgive him, but it would take time, and he certainly would not touch me. I would not trust him again. No where in my vows does it say to let him have lovers, and me met them and loan them my things. You are amazing to do this. I would probably cheat too, or act like it. I know this has to hurt you. I think you feel as if you can not survive in the world without him. He doesn't take your wedding vows seriously.He has broke the vows you cherish. He has control of you. emoticon

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KAKONOLADY 11/28/2012 7:48AM

    I'm glad you can see beyond and still have faith in your relationship but...in my opinion --he's not worth it!! And to take you to her house is even lower then low!! You are better then that and you have a right to give him crap--if he says he will leave you for giving him problems....well spouses give eachother problems all the time doesnt mean it's ok to cheat!!! Agggh -sorry drives me mad-- I wish you the best

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HOW I WISH WHAT I FEEL YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY

Monday, November 26, 2012

I know no body believes in me at all. Plus I am not religious person. I dont go often to the church and I dont have any thing to do with the church. To me, ourselves is the real church of God and their is nothing to do with the building church. But recently, I went to the church because I like to offer some flowers, and prayers. Then one time, I attended the holy mass. When the priest say a good words to the lord below my neck its not really painful but it just some things annoyance feelings but when the priest finish his words my annoyance feelings is gone too. This is why I know why I have this feelings yesterday and today because its a Fiesta in town. How I wish you feel what I feel so that you can believe me. I know its hard to prove it, because their is no science of this feelings. I have had so many experiences in my life when I was sick. I know the feelings of not being believers. I dont mind if no body believes me then. I will try to go to the doctor here too, I will see how it goes. I mentioned to my husband to change my doctor but my husband dont allow me because my doctor knows my history. Plus my husband is my personal Psychiatrist here.

I mentioned to this feelings of annoyance below my neck to my husband one time when the first time I felt it. He brought me to a German families and we had dinner there and they done some things that it helps me a little bit. I dont know what they do but its helps me to decrease my annoyance and I can talk a little bit too. Because when I first feel this I dont want to talk at all.

My husband is well. We are happy together, our third greenhouses are done we grow tomatoes. We live peace here and quite. Right this moment my husband is in town with his friends drinking tea, he will be back home later.

The tablets I am using right now is rispiridone, I am taking 1 mg of it every night. If I feel bad and I act like a child I drink 2 mg. Some times here, I play and I feel inside me very happy, and I like to play with flowers and one time I went to the movie holding with flowers I bought because I like it.

Yesterday what I felt was gone last night and this morning too, but when I open this site again it come back to me this annoyance feelings of me. I have had many experiences before like this, to facebook, yahoo and etc. I think I done some things in this site. I will figure this out again what this mean and why this site is annoyance to my feelings.

I have peace of mind, I can sleep well every day, I did or do exercises every morning. I laugh with friends, and talk to my families daily some times every hours. I am a happy person with families and friends and I worked hard here too. I watch movies from time to time and do some shopping. I do the house hold routine here too, plus the greenhouses. I can say to myself I am a holy person every time I feel this way. One of this day, I will figure this out to myself whats really happened to me. On facebook I figure it out why, and now I am happy on facebook without annoyance feelings. I did figure it out why foreigners in our country called me cockroach. I did figure it out the itches on my body too.

I have a goal for next year for my birthday. I will going to have a party and I have to raise pig for my birthday. This is why started yesterday and today I did not go to town with my husband because I need to save some money. I have to save money because I want to have a party my my own money. Raising pig now a days is expensive but I still do it because I like to have pig for my birthday. I want to loose some more weight too. I want to be sexy like my blue bikini picture because right now my waist line is 27, I did not step the weighing scale here because when I step on my weighing scale my weight goes up. I have a work out every day but my weight goes up. This is why, I dont want to weight myself for a while.

Even though my feelings is not nice on this site but I still do my best to write some blog and tract my work outs here. My feelings now is bearable unlike yesterday, luckily by night time was gone.

Thank you very much for your reading on my blog. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BANKER-CHUCK 11/26/2012 12:22AM

    I am glad you are feeling better. Sometimes it is difficult to sort-out ones feelings. Sometimes sitting down and meditating why you feel the way you do maybe you can figure it out.
Good luck and keep feeling better.

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DEBBIEANNE1124 11/26/2012 12:18AM

    No matter how you're feeling... good or bad or talking or playing with the flowers i love your blogs and you and the photos you take.
Peace.

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I HAVE A SECRET IN MY LIFE TO TELL YOU And I NEED YOUR HELP

Saturday, November 24, 2012

First of all, I know no body believes me here, but this is true of my feelings. I work hard here daily to loose weight, but I did not tract here all my activities it is because of my feelings. Every time I read messages here and even right now I am writing this to you my chest is painful. Some times the pain is unbearable. This is one of the reason I seldom to tract my activities and I seldom to come here now.

I dont want you to believe me at all. I want you to say a words against me, if you can not say it to me say it in your mind. My families and people in our city called me photocopy and some other religions called me a good Christians. Some people called me plastic, pig, and etc. If people dont like me, I like them, if people hates me, I love them. My feelings is always opposite sides.

One of my big secret is Mary of Good Success and Cresenciana Tanutan Reinders who is myself is one. Mary of Good success have 3 Angels, St. Gabriel Arkanghels, San Miguel Arkanghels, And San Rafael Arkanghels. I myself, I dreams two Angels spoken to me, the clouds was open and the Angels come to me his name is San Micheal Arkangel or San Miguel Arkanghel in our dialec, the reason fI know his name because he introduce himself to me his name. San Micheal Arkanghel told me he is my protectors against the devil. Then later on I look up the sky and another Angel comes to me, he introduce his name to me and his name is San Rafael Arkanghel. His job in heaven is serving the God the Father Almighty. San Rafael Arkanghels told me he is my messengers, if I need him I just called his name and he will come and help me, this is the Angels told me in my dreams. Then San Rafael Arkangels flew back to heaven and continue serving the God the Father Almighty, but San Miguel Arkanghels is with me to protect me against the devil. San Micheal Arkanghel or San Miguel Arkanghel flew me to the area very few people called Doldol, and this Doldol is my place right now our town is Bacong, our province is Negros Oriental. San Miguel Arkanghel staying with me forever until I woke up. But all my dreams come true now.

I was dreams that when I was 24 years old. When I turn 35 last August of this year, I dream again that I swum the nice big river. That is the time also that people are fought me, and I dont understand about myself. Then the big floods in Manila two times, those big floods in Manila is the gift on my birthday when I turn 35. I read some news too that in the US have floods.

The whole city including my families fought me, and I dont understand myself. They said boy, even its girl and etc. They called me pig, plastic, good christian, photocopy because I can photocopy the attitudes of a person. Even though people hates me in real life, but in my dreams people loves me and we are happy eating the big events.

The earth quake I called San Rafael Arkanghels because I was in need of him. But before the earth quake happen I feel cold not called because of the weather but cold from the bottom of my body and my bones it look like shaking. The the following day, we have big earth quake all over the Philippines.

I know I am not your friends here, I am your enemy. In fact I want you to say a bad words to me, or dont believe of what I said so that I can continue log in this site.

This is my secret in life. Its up to you how you can help me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBIEANNE1124 11/25/2012 2:30PM

    Hi CRES
I'm debbie. I live in Oregon.
In your blog I see a very religous woman. Stick by your guardian angel. He will protect you.
Please go to the Dr. and tell them about your chest hurting. From viewing you in your picture you don't seem to be in the ened of losing weight. Be more concerned for your health safety. Your chest might be in danger. Be very open and honest with your Dr.
Keep on blogging.
Debbie

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ANYANP2 11/25/2012 1:51PM

    I dont really understand what you are trying to say here.
But I agree with the others that say you should talk to your doctor or family and get help for yourself.


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PICKIE98 11/25/2012 1:47PM

    Cres,

Tell your husband now about your feelings,, you nursed him back to health, it is now your turn to be healed. Not all medicines make you gain weight,, see if a doctor can increase your medicine dosage or change it to help you clear things up.
If you are not feeling whole, you cannot function like you want to function: happy, healthy and free.
Keep blogging and mailing all of us,, we all want you to get help,,

I miss your stories and pictures, happy face.. Love, Linda


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BANKER-CHUCK 11/25/2012 9:47AM

    You seem to be very troubled and need some help from your family and friends. I think yu need to talk with them so they can help. I think all people here are your friends since I have never seen anything that says different.
Take care of yourself and hope you feel better.

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SPARKLISE 11/25/2012 6:03AM

    We don't hate you, we don't really know you.
Please see your doctor,maybe he can change your medication and it might help you lose the weight.
Talk to him about your dreams,please.
The archangels will help you and give you strength.
emoticon

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NIAGCHRIS246 11/25/2012 5:08AM

  Cres I am so worried about you. I can not say bad words to you, you are my friend and I see that you are very ill. I think that maybe you should see a different doctor. If you are following your doctors advice he is not helping you. Go to see another doctor. Can you tell me what kind of medicine you are taking? What is the name of your medicine?

Please don't listen to people who say mean things to you, they are jealous of your farm and your greenhouses and all your success. But you have friends who do like you, trust them and tell them how you are feeling. You need to get help. You may be suffering from depression or anxiety or some other condition which you can not overcome by yourself.

You did not mention your husband at all, is everything ok with him? Is he helping you? Can he take you to a doctor?

Thank you for letting us know what is happening to you, you understand that you are having trouble with your thoughts. Please go to see a doctor who understands problems of the mind. I hope for all the best for you.

Your friend, Chris

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MISSGRADENKO 11/25/2012 4:59AM

  I think you shouldn't remain alone with this secret, and talk to someone you trust, a doctor maybe. I don't know where you live, but normally doctors are sworn to secrecy about their patients, so you wouldn't have to worry.
I don't think the people on this site can help you. You need people in real life to give you help.
Good luck.

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FIT4MEIN2013 11/24/2012 11:55PM

    Don't even know how to respond to this post.....

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