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Entry Three

Saturday, May 04, 2013

sorry I have not written in a while, i have been busy doing a lot of nothing. Well I managed to get myself to bike to the library today to return some books that I had checked out. I left my ipod there :( I realized just after I got home and called there right away and they have it :) I might go later today by car, or I might just pick it up tomorrow, because the library closes in an hour. I am exhausted, which feels both good and bad, good because I am just now realizing that it can feel good after a workout, and bad because I didn't go very far and it just shows how out of shape I am. I used endomodo on my phone and it is a little over a mile to get there and a little over a mile to get back. I wish I had not derailed so much this year, just think if I had stuck to the program, how much better shape I could be. It doesn't really help to think that way, what I should think instead is use that feeling to motivate me to stick to the program in the future.

Tonight I am going to see Iron Man 3 in the theaters with my Mom, my grandma, and my Great Aunt. I am really looking forward to going, I have not been to a movie in a long time, and I love superhero movies, especially the latest marvel ones. I don't know anything about the movie on purpose, I have avoided all of the trailers and reviews, so as to not spoil it. I watched the first Iron man movie and the second one a while ago.

We are having salmon for dinner tonight at five and then my grandma is picking us up and we are going to the 6:20 showing. I used to be very stubborn and not eat fish, because I thought that I didn't like it, but since last year I have grown to not hate fish, and I even like some fish, depending on how it is prepared.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RECREATING_ME 5/9/2013 10:12PM

    I've also come back recently after ~6 month hiatus. As it has been said, "Fear not for the future, weep not for the past." All we can do is work with where we are today to make things better for tomorrow.

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CLPURNELL 5/7/2013 4:19PM

    You are right you can't worry about if you would have stuck to it in the past. Just that should give you incentive on sticking to it now. Iron Man 3 was really good hope you and your family enjoyed it!

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1STATEOFDENIAL 5/4/2013 9:06PM

    A lot of what I see here seems to say 'all or nothing'. As if you're not doing everything 'right' or perfect then maybe you won't do anything at all.

A better idea is to work on making better choices instead of perfect choices. Then remind yourself that every little bit you do better matters and makes changes. As you get used to making better choices then work on making new habits that are a little better than that.

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ALEXSGIRL1 5/4/2013 7:29PM

    Biking to the library is a great idea. You are right don't think of want you could of shoud have done only what you have done. It is a great start and one you can continue. Our lbrary has benches under trees and I sometimes stop tto read there instead of going straight home to my own trees in my own yard. Salmon is my favorite fish it is so good for you. It took me a while to like the taste now i have to have some every week.lol. Have fun at the movies good for you for not watching the trailers and the reviews. They give away the whole movie now adays . there is no suspense or excitment.

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Entry Two

Friday, April 19, 2013

So I'm writing my second entry here, that is a small victory! I am not giving up, even though I have not tracked in a few days, but I am not giving up, I will start again tomorrow. I figured I would write a little bit here about what has been going on lately. I had gotten through last semester with an A- and a B-, but this semester I had a mental breakdown, so I had to drop the classes I was taking, I dropped my classes about two weeks ago and have yet to figure out what I want to do with myself. I plan on going back to school in the fall, but I need a break right now.

I was the one who found my dad dead in his bed when he did not wake up, around seven months ago, and I developed PTSD from that. I wasn't sure I wanted to write about it online in public like this, but I figure it is better to get it all out and be honest. I need to heal and get healthy, and blogging might be part of that process. it was a complete surprise, it was a heart arrhythmia, nothing could be done. That is all that I can write about that now.

I need to start looking forward now and try and figure out what I want to do with my life. My priorities are my family and friends. I am going to focus on my business and try and sell my jewelry and make more stuff. I am taking it day by day, but I really need to start looking forward and making plans for my time. Lately I have had a hard time concentrating and focusing my thoughts, it is really frusterating for me. I think I need help, but I don't know what to do.

On another note I pre-ordered the new spark-people book and plan on following that program when I get it, so what I am doing now is preparing for when that book comes out, making small changes in my attitude, which is the most important thing.

Sorry if this post did not make much sense, my next one will make more sense, hopefully.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLPURNELL 4/25/2013 12:00AM

    Glad to see you back. You have been through a lot and i am sure it has taken it's toll but my hat is off to you for deciding to get back up. That takes a lot of strength and courage and that is exactly what will carry you to the life you want!


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1STATEOFDENIAL 4/20/2013 9:24PM

    Sometimes all we can do is the simplest things to help us going forward. Instead of trying to change everything, focus on just doing a few small things a little better. It will help you feel accomplished.

My condolences for your losses - both your father and for the loss of your feeling okay. Many people go through difficult times, though each of us has different ways of dealing with it. We can only do our best to find our way through to the other side, where we can be okay with ourselves and our lives again. My suggestion to you would be to find a therapist to talk to. If you can't find one, talk to your primary care doctor about finding one. They can help in many ways. Dealing with mental health issues can cause issues like not being able to focus, feeling lost, etc. If you can find a way to move forward from the past you may have an easier time focusing on the present and the future.

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ALEXSGIRL1 4/20/2013 4:51PM

    you have been through a very rough time . if you are having trouble with your thoughts are you under a doctor's care? if not please let a doctor know you may have depression still going on. is there a support group in your area somewhere you can go and listen and then later when you are able talk about it? it is good that you blogged that is a good start. Stay close to the rest of your family their love and strenght will help you. Don't hold your feelings in. Let them out. things will get better with time hugs

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LIVELAUFLUV 4/20/2013 8:36AM

    Thank you for sharing. Hang in there, you can do this.

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MCJULIEO 4/19/2013 11:40PM

    You've been through a lot... hang in there, the worst is sure to be behind you now...

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I'm Really Back this time

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Okay I have made the decision to get back on the spark people program. It really worked well last year, so I want to go back to it. I am going to start from the beginning again. I am now 27 years old and I need to get healthy. I don't want to get sick and develop diabetes or anything, also I want to feel good as well. those are my reasons for doing this. I was very depressed and unable to motivate myself to do anything since my dad died. But I now know that I need to get back in control of my life. If I don't make an effort, than no one will.

today was a good day, I went to the gym (Planet Fitness) I was a member last summer, and just re-joined on Thursday. I went on the bike for 25 min for a total of 5 miles. I am proud of myself for just going and following through with something. I plan on going back on Monday and taking tomorrow off. I also Journaled today, which is one of my fast break goals, so I feel good. My third fast break goal is to drink at least 8 glasses of water each day, and I did that too!

I have a good feeling about this time, I think I am motivated the right way and that I am at a place right now where I have time that I can devote to myself right now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLPURNELL 4/19/2013 8:33PM

    Welcome back!!!

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LUNABYRD 4/16/2013 3:47PM

    Welcome back. Small steps are easiest and it sounds like you have started out right.

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ALEXSGIRL1 4/14/2013 11:13AM

    welcome back i am happy you are back you will succeed this time we are here to help stop by any time . depression is a hard thing . I am fighting it too. exercise is so good for it. we can do this together.hugs so sorry about your dad.

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USMAWIFE 4/14/2013 8:47AM

    welcome back

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1STATEOFDENIAL 4/13/2013 10:30PM

    It's good to start with small steps and build up the changes slowly. Makes it easier on your mind and your body. Keep it up!

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SW33TINSANITY 4/13/2013 9:50PM

    welcome back

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TLG71567 4/13/2013 9:43PM

    Good job. That's great that you are recommitting to yourself. emoticon

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TRACYLYNN853 4/13/2013 9:25PM

    emoticon

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IDICEM 4/13/2013 9:15PM

  Welcome back! Congrats on taking positive steps toward your goals!
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I'm back

Friday, November 23, 2012

Like the title says, I'm back. I don't know how much weight I have gained since I quit, but I am afraid that I gained it all back. Sparkpeople worked for me before so I think I am going to try it again. I am going to start over and just start tracking what I eat again. I am sick and tired of it hurting to walk a half mile.

I think I should write about this here, the reason why I stopped (well one of them anyways) My dad passed away suddenly on September 18th. I have fallen apart. I can't write about it now, maybe I'll write about it later.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALEXSGIRL1 11/23/2012 9:09PM

    so sorry about you dad glad that you are back now

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1STATEOFDENIAL 11/23/2012 6:02PM

    Everyone has setbacks on their journey to their goals. My condolences for your loss. Now may be a good time to recommit yourself to your health and try again. Best wishes.

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RECREATING_ME 11/23/2012 5:29PM

    So sorry about the loss of your father! My deepest condolences :(

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ROCKINROBYNOZ 11/23/2012 3:26PM

    Welcome back! So sorry to hear about your dad. I'm sure I'll fall apart if anything happens to mine. emoticon

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BRACEYM1 11/23/2012 3:24PM

    Glad to have you back!

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I'm back

Friday, November 23, 2012

Like the title says, I'm back. I don't know how much weight I have gained since I quit, but I am afraid that I gained it all back. Sparkpeople worked for me before so I think I am going to try it again. I am going to start over and just start tracking what I eat again. I am sick and tired of it hurting to walk a half mile.

I think I should write about this here, the reason why I stopped (well one of them anyways) My dad passed away suddenly on September 18th. I have fallen apart. I can't write about it now, maybe I'll write about it later.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLPURNELL 11/28/2012 7:52PM

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MARYBETH4884 11/24/2012 6:55PM

    Sorry about your dad. Welcome back,it's a perfect time to get started again with all the holidays happening. Take your time and you will be in my thoughts and prayers

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LUNABYRD 11/24/2012 10:44AM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your father. It will take some time for you, but glad to have you back! emoticon

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JANETTEB553 11/23/2012 3:26PM

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