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CRAZYNDNCOOK's Recent Blog Entries

Blaze of Glory

Monday, July 11, 2011

Here I put on a song to cool down too, and it inspired me to go another 10 minutes.

Blaze of Glory by Bon Jovi is my new kick my butt song.

I had just finished Level 2 30 Day Shred. My second go around on it, I tried it months ago when I first started back in January. But my legs were feeling tight and I know before that when I got on the elliptical it helped work it out so I wasn't sore the next day. So I got on with my mp3 and choose my new workout folder and ran across this song in the middle of my workout but decided that I would come back to it because the beat was too slow, but it would make a good cool down.

So after pushing myself to 25 minutes I scanned for it and I totally related to the song and kept going past 30 minutes onto 40, I was tempted to go longer but decided I was getting too worn out already.

  


Can I be Strong?

Sunday, May 29, 2011

I made a decision last week to be the strong one. There was a death recently, and I debated about adding the mother as a friend on Facebook. I did and sent her a message telling her my story and telling her that if she wanted to she could add me and I would be willing to chat with her anytime.

I lost a child over 15 years ago to SIDS. The first years were me trying to deal with it, I then decided to start seeing a social worker and she put me in touch with other parents who went through it. Being I was living in a small community, they were cousins, older than me, most had kids my age. And they helped me feel not so crazy.

But I moved, but to the city (where my child had died) and called up the woman who sat with us at the hospital. She was the head of the local "Compassionate Friends" group and she found us a ride to the meeting and had another couple come who lost a child to SIDS. But all the people in this group have lost a child to other means too. And they all helped me out, everything I felt they had gone through too.

So just last week, I seen this now bereaved parent posting on a mutual friend's wall and I started shaking, I clicked add as a friend, and wrote her a message. She set me a message back and said she would gladly add me, and we have exchanged 3 messages. I told her the truth, about the fears, the questions and most of all, to let "the comments" roll off her back. The comments I am talking about are "I hurt just as much you are", "I know how you are feeling" and the explaining why a child dies. I told her that last comment to this day still hurt me. Although her experience is different from mine in that she lost a child that was too pre-mature, and my child was almost 6 months old, it still hurts the same way. She told me I have answered many of her questions already, even the un-asked one of being a parent.

I have been using the pent up energy from this bringing back painful memories to exercise. On nights I am really down I not only do my DVD but I get on the elliptical trainer and just run until I can run no more. Which has help me drop some more weight.

I feel I can be Strong.

  


I had 2 options with these jeans

Monday, April 25, 2011

Today I am wearing a pair of pants that first brought me to my journey of losing weight. When I first bought them about 5 years ago they were so freaking tight I had 2 options, keep them and lose weight to fit them or return them and get a bigger size. I picked #1. I did NOT want to admit I was bigger than a size 18.

Wearing these jeans I had 2 options. Stand all the time or sit and not breath, that is how tight they were. emoticon emoticon

So I started out by eating right, no longer getting food from work, I was working in a restaurant at the time, and it was so easy (and expensive) to just grab something off the menu. Always something fattening (wings, hot dogs, full meals, poutine), so I started packing my food with me, eating instead of waiting to eat. I would go over 8 hours without eating. And I bought an elliptical trainer.

I don't know how much I lost, but I did have to buy a belt to keep these pants from falling down. I did buy pants as low as 12's but I think they were a little on the big size of 12. I guess was about 15 lbs.

Well I quit the restaurant and became a school cook. I have been doing that job for 3 years now. I gained weight there because I have too much time to eat now, I was always giving into temptation, (muffins, snacks I had just made for the kids, if someone brought in donuts, I was there picking out my favorite). Then I started walking training with the school and thought I was burning mega calories so I would easily polish off 2 sandwiches when I got back. I justified snacks. Well I gained and now these pants are getting a little snug. They do fall a bit but not like before, but I don't need the belt anymore.

So now I have 2 options again, let these pants fit me once again or get it so I NEVER have to look at them again. I want #1 again. I have smartened up.

Thanks to Spark. I tracked my walking training, with some help from "track my route" and I guess about how far we walked by markers on the side of the road, and I realized I wasn't burning very many calories at all. So I re-organized myself. I stopped eating at recess, I stopped grabbing donuts when they came in, eating hot cereal in the morning to feel full longer, I watch how much I eat at lunch, I bought exercise DVD's, I started writing down when I exercise on a piece of paper that sits right in front of me on my desk.

I do weigh-in everyday, I have to do that for me, if it is up I know I haven't been eating right, so I have to adjust myself. With the walking training and the additional videos I have almost lost 10 lbs. The pants are snug, but you know what I have found motivation in that.

  


Jillian is mean

Monday, January 17, 2011

Yesterday I bought and tried out Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred, well I tried it out and did level 1&2 with modifications for me, as I am just not fit enough to do it all.

Today I am feeling it, my legs are killing me, I can stand and sit, but anywhere in between is a killer including stairs. I wanted to do it again today but I just can't. emoticon, my legs are just that sore.

Tomorrow is the start of Walking Training for the Vancouver Sun Run, but I will be missing out on that too. I have an appointment to deal with my stuffed up nose. Hopefully got some answers. It has been on going since September.

  


Trying to keep myself moving.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

I haven't done as well as I hoped I would. I am still slightly motivated. But I do find reasons not to do my exercises. I am getting it done almost once a week, better than nothing I guess. This week was twice. I am also doing a higher resistance on my elliptical trainer.

I did 2 minutes on 1,
2 minutes on 2,
8 minutes on 4,
1 minute on 3,
1 minute on 2
and 6 minutes on 1.

Was a great work out. When I do the higher resistance I feel like I get more of a work out then when I was doing 60-90 minutes on 1.

  


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