Yesterday I ran 6 miles. Itís the most Iíve run ever and it was hard. Not just a little hard but I canít breathe, I really want to walk, no maybe Iíll just stop completely and take a bus home hard. For the first time since starting my training program Iím worried I wonít finish my half marathon. 6 miles isnít even half of what I need to be able to run in 48 short days. I also feel like Iíve been running slower and slower as times goes on. Shouldnít I be getting faster? Shouldnít this be getting easier? Iím now nervous that Iíll get swept from the course and they wonít let me finish even if I want to. I have family coming in to watch me and Iíd hate for them to make the trip to watch me fail. Even worse then failing in front of my family is failing myself. I set this goal, I believed in myself and I have worked really hard for it. I set up a training program and havenít missed a day yet. I canít think of anything in my life that Iíve been as consistent at. Iíve run through the rain and the heat. Iíve run when there were much better opportunities like going out to happy hour with my co-workers. I have worked at this for 2 months and it all might be for nothing. Iím not going to give up yet. I guess the only thing I can do is put on my running shoes when I get home from work and hope for a better run.
This past weekend I went to visit some friends in Denver. I hadnít seen them since graduating college and I told myself that it would be okay to go easy on myself. I knew I wasnít going to be eating the most healthy foods and I didnít think I would get that much exercise in. And I have to say Iím totally impressed with myself. While we did eat out, I did things I never would have done two years ago. When we went out I ordered the healthiest items I could find and took home half of my meals to eat the next day. I can remember going out to eat and feeling stuffed but still cleaning my plate because I wanted to make sure I got my moneyís worth. One this trip I ordered a French dip one night and not only did I take half of it back for lunch the next day but I just tossed out the fires. I knew they wouldnít taste good the next day and also knew I didnít need to finish them that night. While out shopping one day we got ice cream at this really cute ice cream shop that claimed to be the best ice cream ever! I couldnít decide between two flavors and my friends convinced me to get both, but I did the unthinkableÖI threw away over half of it. I started to feel full and before I could think too much about it I walked to the garbage can and tossed it in. I was so in shock with myself.
I didnít just surprise myself with my eating habits. I really didnít want to miss any of my scheduled runs. So I got up at 5am to run 5 miles before catching the plane to Denver. And it was probably the hardest run I have done to date. I was tired and I was staying at my parentsí house, which is surrounded by hills. But Iím really impressed with myself for sticking to my plan. I also got my friends to go hiking with me in Colorado Springs. We went to the Garden of the Gods and spent a couple of hours hiking around. It was absolutely breath taking. We had so much fun climbing up the rocks and jumping off. I even managed to get myself up Monday morning for my scheduled 4 mile run. I donít think it went a whole four miles because I was a little worried about getting altitude sickness but I went out and did a 40 minute run at a slower pace. It felt great to know that I can stick to my new life even when on vacation. The best part was I even managed to lose a pound while gone!
This weekend I did a 5k race with my sister. I originally had 5 miles on my training schedule but decided to do the 5k with her and figured I could run again on Sunday to make up for it. There have been two different occasions where I was supposed to run races with my sister. One was my first 5K last April that she backed out on because she was pregnant and one in March because my niece was sick. I was a little reluctant to sign up for the race because I thought something might come up again and Iíd end up running by myself again. But I figured running a race couldnít hurt even if I had to do it by myself.
Now my sister goes all out for races. For the Saint Patties Day race we were going to do she bought beads, and light up glasses, and socks with leprechauns on them. For the Slime Run she made custom race shirts with the slogan ďSlime HappensĒ on the front and our names and established dates (the years we were born) on the back. Saturday morning we got up and got my niece ready to go and headed out to the racetrack. We got there at 8am thinking the race started at 9. Turns out it didnít start until 10am so we had two hours to wait around. As we got closer my sister started to get really nervous thinking we would be the last ones to cross the finish line or that she would need to walk. I told her it didnít matter we just had to finish and have a great time.
The race went really well for us, we finished in 65 minutes and that includes having to wait at all the obstacles. We ended up waiting almost 20 minutes for the water slide because a lady had lost her wedding ring in the bottom pool and a bunch of kids were trying to find it. They eventually did which was really great. My sister loved the race and canít wait to do it again next year. Iím not so sure Iíll do it again, the slim kind of felt like snot running down my face and it was really itchy when it dried. Here are some pictures from the race. Iím the one in pink!
Itís raining, normally I love the rain. One of my favorite things to do is curl up with a good book and drink hot coco while listening to the rain. I love to fall asleep when itís raining, I always seem to sleep better and feel more rested. I love the way it smells when it rains and I love the way you can feel it in the air right before the clouds open up. But today I needed to go out and run 3 miles, and the rain was making me really want to say inside. All I could think about was how I would be soaked in about 10 minutes. About how I would probably have to run without my music because I donít have a water proof case. How the path I run would be slippery and Iíd need to run slower to make sure I didnít fall and hurt myself.
Two days ago on my run it was 80 degrees. We were having some unusually warm weather. Spring was in the air, people were running around in shorts and tank tops. I should have been enjoying the sunshine with everyone else. I usually love to go to the dog park with my best friend and play catch with her dog. I also love a friendly game of Frisbee. Instead of thinking about all the fun things I could be doing after work I was dreading getting off. I was going to have to run 4 miles in that heat. I was thinking about how within minutes I would be covered in sweat. About how there was a lot of pollen in the air and it would be hard to breath.
The old me would have postponed my run. I would have told myself that I could do it another day. That my training schedule wasnít set in stone and I had given myself a couple of extra weeks so that I could miss a work out if needed. I know the old me wouldnít have gotten back on track. I would have keep coming up with excuses until race day and then there would be only two options. I would either still do the half marathon and maybe run 4 or 5 miles and walk the rest or I would have come up with some excuse to not do the race. I donít want that. I want to go out there and finish the race strong. I want to be proud of myself to setting a goal and meeting it. I would love to run the whole race but if I have to walk some thatís okay to. I just want to know that I did everything in my power to run the race. Skipping a workout because the weather wasnít perfect is trying my hardest.
So both days I laced up my shoes and went out my door. Both runs were not enjoyable and both were slower then I usually run. But I completed both and was so proud of myself for sticking to my plan. I might just become a real fan instead of the fair weather one Iíve always been.
Last night while out for my run the wind was blowing crazy hard. It was so load that I couldnít hear my music over it. Normally Iím a firm believer in music when I run. I think it helps me stay motivated and I hate listening to myself breathe heavily. But I figured since I couldnít hear the music I might as well take off my headphones and Iím really glad I did. First, I leaned that I donít run any slower without music. I thought that without the steady beat of music I would slow down, but I didnít. Second, I always see people out running when I am. Itís this great community of people that all nod and smile to each other as they pass. It sort of makes you feel like youíre part of the club. Without my headphones in people didnít just nod at me but they all said hello and made some comment about how itís a great day for a run. I had no idea how encouraging that could be. IT made me feel like I was a real runner in their eyes. Iíve always told people Iím a jogger because I donít run very fast. Iím pretty sure there are people out there who can walk faster than I run. But every person I passed made me feel like a real runner. So while I donít think Iíll run without music every day because I can get lost in a really good song and forget that Iím running I think I will try it more often. And when I do Iím going to make a conscious effort to try and encourage the people I run past because you just never know how it will affect them.