Trying to Find a Happy Median

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I am very confused about my nutrition and my body right now. I have read and been fed so much diet crap (excuse my language) over the years that it's all jumbled up in my head.

I do not do the same amount of cardio each week, I'm not even very intentional about it. I do it when I can. And every week my fitness tracker yells at me and tells me I'm doing too much for what I'm eating. But when I up my calories and lose weight my nutrition tracker says "That's great but now you can't eat as much". Ugh.

Also, I did a weight loss program once (it's run by a woman I don't agree with so I won't share the name of the program) and she was all about listening to your hunger cues. Yesterday I ate my regular meals and didn't snack but when I put my food in I had only had 700 calories. So I had a late night snack just to have my calories up. I just started the C25K program so I know I need the extra calories. But I wasn't hungry! Today I had blueberry pancakes for breakfast and at lunch I was trying to get my veggies and fruits in first, I didn't want my sandwich. But again, I forced myself to eat it because I know I need the protein.

So which is it, listen to my hunger cues and stop eating when I'm satisfied or eat until I know I have my necessary fuel?

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Results are Results

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Last night my husband nonchalantly asked how my SparkPeople journey is going. We've been down this road together so many times he is very gentle with his asking.

I told him I've lost about 24 pounds and he said "that's good!" I said "eh, it's okay but I'm not celebrating until I'm down to 237 because that is where I was this time last year".

My husband is a recovering addict and often applies what he is learning through his 12 step group to my (and his) food addiction and weight loss. He said "that is not living for the next 24 hours. You have to celebrate each victory, no matter how small. How would it be if I said "I'm not celebrating my recovery until I am who I was in 1982?" Wow. That really made it clear to me. No, I'm not where I wish I was or even where I literally was. But I am less than I was and I am doing it in a much healthier way this time.

So from now on I am going to celebrate the results I have because I've worked hard to get them. And I'm going to celebrate the victories, no matter how small.

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Did *I* do that?

Friday, June 11, 2010

You have to say the title like Steve Urkel.

This is the post where those of you who would call me friend snub your nose at the disgusting-ness that is my home and life. I am one of the most disorganized people you may ever meet.

My neighbors might think I'm a nut job because I will load everyone up in the van, remember something, go back in the house to get it, pull out of the driveway, loop back around the block because I forgot something else. Pull in, run in and get it, drive away. Two miles down the road remember that I forgot one more thing.

I have joined and rejoined FlyLady so many times it's pathetic. And just this week I found my box of chore cards I made in 2003 to follow the Sidetracked Home Executive plan.

All this to say I had a VERY good day in the organization department. FlyLady talks about a launch pad where you put your purse, cell, keys, etc. So last night I laid everything out. I had to go to my church today to help with something, I knew what time we had to leave in order to get there on time. We ate lunch and left in time (those two things alone are as near a miracle as it will get - on time AND fed? Egads!)

I remembered to take everything I needed, I returned a rebounder I had borrowed, on the way home I picked up pizzas to bake for dinner, dropped off shoes for donation, dropped offclothes to goodwill that I've had in the back of my van for months, and returned library books (albeit overdue). I just couldn't believe myself.

I did put a video to return to the store in the van but forgot to return it (maybe I need to make a list?) But I was tickled pink. My children were unimpressed with the number of stops we had to make but they have no idea how free their momma feels!

I am going to revamp my chore cards this weekend and jump in with both feet on Monday. I have actually done all the laundry I was supposed to do this week, and all the things my husband asked me to do too. I think I might get it this time!

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Trading Places

Thursday, June 10, 2010

My husband and I have both been morbidly obese since we've been married but me much more so than him (I always get nervous when our weight is within 30 pounds of each other because he is a whole foot taller than me).

He has always been in better shape than me (but not more athletic) because he worked outside and walked around all day.

I vividly remember one time when we lived in another town he wanted to walk to a festival that was probably about 20 blocks away. I thought he was crazy, it was too far and there was no way we could walk. Well, he walked and I drove.

Last year he started walking about 3 miles every night but when the weather turned cold he stopped and gained back about 30 pounds he had lost.

Last night after dinner I suggested the family go for a hike, he said he didn't want to but knew he should. It is my "normal" hiking grounds even though I haven't been there for a few weeks so I was comfortable with the terrain and honestly felt so skinny and like I was walking lighter if that even makes sense. We took a short cut because it was getting dark and the shortcut involved a pretty steep climb up a hill. I looked behind me and he was still at the bottom, already huffing and puffing.

At this point I will admit I was a little smug because I was feeling so light and skinny and he was always the one waiting for me at the top. I certainly don't want to leave him behind but it was just a strange flip from where we started.

I was really surprised with the boys, they all made it without complaint. Well, the baby started complaining at the very end but by then we could see the parking lot. I will definitely be taking them out there more often, maybe once a week to see if they can build up their endurance and do the whole two miles before the end of summer.

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My Vision Collage

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

I *finally* finished my vision collage. I spent several nights back in the early spring going through magazines and cutting out pictures. One night I even laid all the pictures out on my board with the intention of pasting them on the next night. But my three year old found the poster board and colored all over it and then we had company so I had to put it all away. Finally, with the challenge put forth on Wildflowerr's Live-It's team I decided to finish it.

I'm so glad I did. I have a friend who passes her home decorating mags on to me but my very favorite magazine is Life: Beautiful. On nearly every double page spread there is scripture. So I cut out and utilized as much scripture as I could.

I used a lot more words than pictures which kind of surprised me. Most of the pictures I chose were outside which really shocked me. But I have discovered that I love to hike and I do like to camp even though we don't do it very often. I also used a lot of flower pictures, a BUNCH of zinnias which make me very happy. I'm glad I did this, I can't decide where to put it so I'll see it and internalize it the most.


We heard a sermon on vision Sunday night at church so when my 6 year old heard I was making a vision collage he wanted to join in on the act. Here is his. Not sure what the vision is, per se, but he had fun and tapped into his creative side.


My very favorite part of the collage is the middle on that orange starburst. You can't see it very well and the upclose pictures I took were too blurry but it says *results not typical*. If you read my blog you know that is who I am aspiring to me, the girl with "results not typical" under my picture. When I saw that in one of the mags, I had to cut it out. I think I might look for another and have it blown up at the copy shop.

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