Tuesday, June 26, 2012
I can't believe it's been 2 years+ since I blogged on SP!
My life is SUPER amazing and SOOOOO different now...I'm still hovering right around 200 lbs (a little more over than under recently, semantics...) but I'm working to get back down into ONEderland, and then beyond before my upcoming nuptuals in October!
My fiance is named Brian, which is strange, since the last one was called Brian, too. But he couldn't be more different. He's my best friend, is super supportive, and most importantly, he tells me EVERY DAY how much he loves me, and how he can't wait to marry me! This one's a keeper!
So maybe a gained a few "love lbs"...but we're both actively working on getting in better shape, and hopefully weight loss will be one of the consequences of this!
So I'm trying to get back into SP...it's hard, since I'm so busy with planning the wedding and also still being an active member and leader on two roller derby teams! I've been using myfitnesspal, but I kinda miss the sense of community with SP! I hope you all are doing amazingly, and life has been bringing you nothing but joy!
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
i haven't been active at all on SP lately, and there is definitely a reason for it. for the last few months, i had been feeling like my relationship was not working the way it used to...for a multitude of reasons, which i won't get into, but basically boiling down to the fact that i just felt like i wasn't in love the way i used to be. when you're in love with someone, you sometimes overlook certain things that you wouldn't with someone else, and when my feelings began to fade, so did my tolerance. i had been holding onto the relationship out of fear, mostly because we had been together for so long, i didn't know what would happen if we weren't together. also, brian really took care of me, and i was worried i wouldn't be able to make it on my own...i also thought about my insecurities about finding someone to spend the rest of my life with, and felt like maybe if i didn't stay with brian, i would be doomed to singlehood for the rest of my life. none of these reasons are good ones for staying in a relationship that is not working, and about a week ago, i realized this in an epiphanic flash.
so, i decided i would have to break it off, and i braced myself for having the hardest conversation i've ever had to have. and also a long few days of continuing to talk to him on the phone, knowing i would have to make the drive out there on the weekend to break up. the anticipation was absolutely torturous...but nothing compared to how i felt telling him. although i knew i was making the right decision for me, i felt like garbage. i didn't want to hurt him, because i still care very deeply for him...but pity is another terrible reason to stick it out.
it actually couldn't have gone any better. he took it relatively well, although i know he felt more than he let on, as he's never been good a displaying his emotions...the worst part was watching his face as i drove away...it was truly heartbreaking. my friend gypsy actually offered to make the hour long drive with me and wait at a coffee shop while i did it, so i would have someone to drive home in case i felt like i couldn't. she was awesome, and i'm sooooo glad she came. i needed that support.
in any case, i feel a weight lifted off my shoulders...am i still scared to be alone? hell yes. i actually started freaking out about it today, but i was able to put it into perspective. i went for a short run to clear my head, and it seemed to help. i'm hoping to be able to use this as a new push to get me back on the path to weightloss. staying active and treating my body well will make me feel much better, i know. so that's gonna be my mantra for the summer. i'm getting under 200 and then WAY BEYOND! i did gain a couple pounds, but those are coming off this week, and i'm back on track!
so don't worry too much about me...i'm a strong gal, and i'm looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life...single, healthy, happy and as carefree as possible! on a sidenote, my tattoo is less than two weeks away, and i'm really excited! it has a brand new meaning with all of these changes in my life! hope you all are doing well!!!!
Monday, April 19, 2010
i've had a rough time of it these past couple...gulp...months. i knew it would be a struggle to maintain weightloss while i have been losing my mind with student teaching, but i did not anticipate it being THIS hard! on top of all my responsibilities there, i also go really sick a few weeks ago, and it lingered for about two weeks!
now, not only am i really starting to feel better, but i also have only three days left of student teaching! WOO HOO! now, don't get me wrong, i'm going to really miss all of the kids, and i'll cherish the experience, but wow, am i DONE with being in some else's classroom! it's gotten to the point that i want to slap my cooperating teacher in the face when she asks me to do something...or when she makes a slightly offhand comment about "how far behind she is"...referring probably to the fact that we got a little behind in some of the curriculum while i did my full-time teaching.
guess what lady? i have no idea what i'm doing! sorry if my lack of experience caused you to have some catch up! also, you're welcome for doing all of the prep work for EVERYTHING so you're free to simply spend time teaching the kids...SHEESH! oh, and by the way, don't b*tch about being behind in science when you SPECIFICALLY told me not to teach it..."oh, we're so far ahead, i'll have TONS of time to teach the science in april and may..." ridiculous. (sorry for the rant, i'm done now.)
BECAUSE I'M DONE! WHEEEEEE!
so, i'm pretty sure i've gained a few pounds back from when i weighed in at 211-ish...and i'm okay with that. i've been careless and lazy. it's the worst, but i'm not perfect...i'm a work in progress. i'm going to get back to that weight and keep the momentum going...because i don't want to look back 6 months from now and say that i wish i would have gotten my sh*t together right after student teaching and really worked. i've done that before...oh, if i had just been good and buckled down, i would have been THAT MUCH CLOSER to my goal weight! there are no more excuses, i'm doing it.
(ahem) speaking of excuses...i'm not doing that 10K coming up in a couple of weeks...i haven't had a run in at least 2-3 weeks now, and i'm not going to half-ass it. i talked to my friend (actually blubbered and lost it is more accurate) and she said it was totally cool...thank god she hadn't registered yet! one time when i can be glad she's a procrastinator! i'm really disappointed that i couldn't keep it together, but that's life. we're going to keep running (or start again...ugh) and start real training for the HM in june...that gives us like 4 months and some change for the detroit half. i'm scared and excited, but i know i can do it, and i'm enlisting my friend to be my drill sergeant! i'm so proud of the work she's done...she went from saying "i can't run" to running (last time we talked) almost 4.75 miles without stopping in about 2 months! WHAT?!?!?!?!?! she's amazing, and a total inspiration to me.
so, the training starts beginning of june, and there's a reason for that...i'm graduating in a week, and as a gift, I'M GETTING A TATTOO!
a BIG ONE.
a REAL BIG ONE.
this is a 5-6 hour session of pure TORTURE, and i can't wait! my appointment is on may 17th, and i need about 2 weeks after the tattoo for it to heal properly before i can start running again.
what am i getting, you ask? well, i've always wanted a peacock feather on my right foot, as i have a lotus on my left, and i want to have both feet done...but when i was researching/thinking about it, i thought, "why not just really do it?" so i talked to a tattoo artist at this great shop that's within walking distance to my apartment, and she was SUPER jazzed about my idea to have a peacock going down the side of my right calf, with the tail wrapping around my ankle and onto my right foot. she's an AMAZING tattoo artist, and our visions for this tattoo really lined up. she does beautiful, feminine tattoos, and i couldn't be more excited! i'm actually going to stop by the shop sometime in the next couple of days to check on the stencil, but someone told me they saw a peacock sketch in the shop, and it was AWESOME...so i'm really pumped!
normally, this size tattoo would probably be broken up into 2 sessions, but i can't afford the healing time...i can't have 2 weeks of non-activity followed by another in a couple of months, and i don't want to wait anyway! so, i just have to sack up and do it! i know i can.
anyway, so i'm back to logging in and tracking, thank GAH. and, i'm doing a short run right after school to ease back into it. i'm so lucky to have sparkpeople as a resource...it's always there when i need it. (and all of you help a lot too! can't forget my sparkgals!)
i hope you all are finding success, and i look forward to sharing in that this summer! cheers!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
just realized i'm only 9.5 pounds away from being halfway to my goal weight! that means i'm almost up the hill...AMAZING!
hope you all had/are having a wonderful weekend!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
it's been a long while since i have blogged, and there are some really good reasons/excuses for it. student teaching is totally kicking my butt...haven't gained any weight, but i haven't lost a significant amount either. also, brian (my fiancee) and i have been going through some growing pains, and that has been stressing me out. i don't really want to delve deeply into it, but needless to say, we're working on it...it has caused me to be overly emotional, and then comes the emotional eating.
i've been trying really hard to be good and keep up with my workouts, but i'm not gonna lie, sometimes it's even hard to drag my ass out of bed in the morning, let alone get to the gym. this is something i need to work on FOR SURE, and something that needs to get solved almost immediately, as my next 10K is eight weeks from last sunday. this was supposed to be my first full week of training, and i didn't really follow the plan to a T. i got in two short runs (2.5 and 2 miles), and i'm planning on hitting the gym on saturday for some hardcore cardio...sunday marks my first longer distance run, and 4 miles is gonna be ROUGH, i'm sure. i just have to get back into it...i know i'll love it once i start really doing it!
i'm not saying that i need to be the workout nazi, but if i want to be successful at my 10K on may 2nd, i need to put the work in. i want to be prepared, and feel really good about my time. i'm hoping to beat my last time, and if i want to do that, i need to kick it into high gear! so look for me to post weekly training schedules, because i need to be accountable to more than just myself!
in other news, i've been doing the 1oo pushups challenge, and it's going pretty well! i just finished week 2, and i need to do another exhaustion test tonight to see where i fall for week 3. i really like it, and i can really feel my arms and chest getting tighter and stronger! i would highly recommend it to anyone wanting some more definition in their arms. (but we'll see how i feel in weeks 5 and 6 when it starts to get REAL ridiculous!)
also, i've been going to the gym lately with my two best friends, gypsy (FATGYPSY6) and emily (who's not on SP)...it's been a great motivator, and i'm so excited to continue to go with them and get fit together! going to the gym with a friend is a million times more fun than going alone, that's for sure. em's going to be training for the 10K with me, and it will be her VERY FIRST RACE! i'm excited for the both of us!
anyway, i'm hoping you all are finding motivation! as i said, it's been a little hard to come by with me these days, but i'm using this as a learning experience...how to juggle it all and still be successful. it's tough, but i know i'll come through in the end! have a great rest of the week, and look for my weekly training/recap blogs to start this sunday!
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