Monday, July 15, 2013
I am 33 years old. I should NOT have to worry about my face, back and chest breaking out like a flipping teenager. Seriously! I went through this enough. I should get a reprieve!
When I was in 4th grade, my skin started breaking out. I remember laying in bed one night touching my forehead and feeling all of these bumps. I ran out into the living room crying because I didn't know what they were. My mom took a look and knew that it was the start of acne. Lucky for me (or unlucky depending on how you look at it) my Mom also had bad skin, so she had some cream on hand that her dermatologist had given her. She carefully rubbed some on my new "bumps" and sent me back to bed. The next day she made an appointment for me.
The dermatologist she took me to, Dr. Dunn, was not in our insurance network, but she wouldn't take me to anyone else. She paid out of pocket for me to see him. I loved Dr. Dunn. He was fantastic! He was kind and gentle and talked on a level that a 4th grade girl could understand.
He gave me some creams to try, and showed me how to properly wash my face. Over the next few years, my acne got worse and spread to my back, shoulders and chest. He gave me creams and antibiotics to take.
Kids are cruel...
1. I had acne
2. I had braces
3. I was over weight
4. I had glasses
5. I was smart
So, I had EVERY strike a kid could have against them except I wasn't totally poor and had nice clothes. We weren't rich by any means, in fact we were one step above poor. Thankfully my grandparent made sure I had all of the "in" clothes (Gap, Esprit, Benneton, Levis, Guess) so at least I didn't get picked on for that! Everything else well... yeah, kids suck.
So after a few years of being made fun of and being called "pizza face" my complexion started clearing up. The worst of it was over and done with by 9th grade.
So here I am... almost 20 years later, and I am still struggling with break outs.
Anyway - I made a fabulous dinner tonight. Talapia w/ pineapple mango salsa and spaghetti squash. It was a delightful dinner. It was very colorful and very light. It was hot and icky out today, and a light dinner like that was perfect. I really wanted zucchini, but the store was sold out, so I opted for a spaghetti squash.
PC Fit was really hard tonight, but it was a good workout. I am dreading taking the time off to allow my tattoo to heal. I am hoping I will be ok after a week? I mean, there are other things I can do. I guess we will have to wait and see how scabbed over I am after it is done. I am just afraid that I will get out of the "groove" and lose my momentum. Then again, knowing how much I love it... maybe that won't happen? I guess the only thing I can do is wait and see. I won't put off getting my tattoo because I REALLY want this covered up! I guess it is no different then when I had to take a few weeks off from meeting with Olivia - when it was time to meet up again, I got right back into the swing of things.
Tomorrow is the summer reading party at the Library. I think it will be a lot of kids... eating cupcakes and sugar and being hyper... but I think it will be a good time. I hope so at least!
Have a great night Spark Friends!
I think that is all for now
Saturday, July 13, 2013
The weather did not favor the perfect summer day I had planned for yesterday.
First, I woke up for PC Fit and couldn't get out of bed (Thank you Coach Tony)
Second, we couldn't go to the lake because it barely broke 70 and was too cold for swimming.
I did get to make my steak dinner, and it was fantastic. We also went for ice cream, and took the scooter. It was a good time.
I am working today and tomorrow - should be a good time
Thursday, July 11, 2013
I hung out with my friend Paul yesterday, and I did not feel the connection that I used to.
I couldn't put my finger on it until I was talking with a friend about it and she said "maybe it is because you don't do drugs together anymore"
She hit the nail on the head. Our friendship was based on our mutual desire to get wasted. A typical Cortney and Paul night was to take a few vicodin, xanax and somas that were washed down with jack daniels and coke. On the way to wherever we were going (bar or bonfire at someone's house) we would smoke a joint. Once we were at the destination we would smoke more pot and drink more.
I am not proud of this. I am lucky I am not dead. It was stupid, reckless, and asinine behavior, but I didn't think about that. I only cared about getting wasted on whatever I could to fill the void in my life that was missing.
When I met my boyfriend, that void was filled, and I stopped doing all of it, except maybe a drink or two on occasion. Paul didn't stop and he still leads the same life that we did 5 years ago.
Before we could even go anywhere, he had to go to his brother's house to get high. They offered me, and I declined. I don't have any interest in it anymore. It isn't my thing. I would rather get my high at the gym.
Don't get me wrong, I still love Paul and he is still very dear to me, but I just don't feel that connection that I used to. We used to sit in my old Jeep in the middle of the woods, smoke pot and listen to music until the sun came up. *sigh*
Anyway, Coach Tony killed me at PC Fit tonight! I don't even know what to say! It was awesome! I did the best that I could. THAT girl was in my class tonight - you know which one I am talking about... the pretty blonde, tan one with big boobs and a perfect everything? The girl who goes through the workout flawlessly and doesn't break a sweat? Yup... she was in my class tonight... Next to her I feel like an out of shape cow... but pretty soon, next to me, she is going to feel like one! Ok, maybe not, but I can hope? She is actually really nice.
I have a perfect summer day planned for tomorrow.
Spend the day at the lake
Steaks for dinner
go out for an ice cream cone
I hope everyone has a good night!
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