Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Today is the first day that I have been left "home alone" since I have came home from the hospital. My boyfriend stayed the 1st week with me, and when he went back to work, my mom spent the night until he got home again (he is a truck driver)
My grandparents are coming to visit me today. I don't know how long they are going to be here. Don't get me wrong, I do love my grandmother, but... well...
I have 2 grandmothers. My mother's mother smothers me. She is a wonderful lady who still thinks I am 5. I love her very much. She is the one that cries every time she sees an Olive Garden commercial because she knows that is my favorite place to eat, and now I won't be able to. She is also the one that every time I was sad she would stuff me full of junk food.
My father's mother on the other hand has always made my weight #1 on her list. I can not have a conversation with her without her asking me if I am "still watching and losing". She honestly encourages me to have an eating disorder, and constantly tells me how great I looked when I starved myself and purged all of the time. As a kid she would offer me treats, then let me know how fat I was when I accepted them and made me ashamed to eat. She was excited I was getting this surgery. When she asked my goal weight, I jokingly told her, that I didn't really have a number in mind, but I wanted to be able to count my rib bones, she said "ohh, you will look so good!" and she was serious.
So, I have one grandmother that stuffed my face full of junk for comfort and rewards, and another grandmother who made me ashamed to eat. *sigh*
I think I am going to spend most of the day watching TV. I am going to get my gear on and go for a short walk later on today. I walk back and forth in front of the house until I get tired. If I am released by my surgeon tomorrow to return to regular activity, I may go to the gym after shopping with my mom and walk on the treadmill.
I think that is all for now