Friday, August 20, 2010
I am pretty stressed out. It is mostly my job.
One of the supervisors quit, and they need to fill the position. Bottom line, I want the job, I feel that I am the most qualified for the job and I have the most seniority. One would think the job would be mine, but that isn't always the case. It is between me and another person. Basically his strong points are my weak points and my strong points are his weak points.
What I have working in my favor is I don't call off work (he does) I do not have any other commitments other than my job (he has a wife and 3 kids) and I have been here for over 7 years and have no real black marks on my record.
I am just stressed about it because I want this job! I know I can do it, and I have put my time in, and I think I deserve the chance! I guess we will see...
So, this stress lead to a total binge last night at the Mcdonalds drive-thru. I got a McDouble and a Big Mac Snack Wrap (all of the grease, fat and calories as a Big Mac without the mess!)
and I honestly felt like total crap after I ate it. The thing that is really NOT cool, is I didn't even take the time to enjoy it. I just wolfed it down, then stopped at a gas station to throw the wrappers and bag away, because in my mind I guess if I do that it means it didn't happen?
Another really crappy part about it was I was having such an awesome healthy day yesterday! I ate some really great food, and while I did eat a lot, it was all well within my calorie range. Then I totally ruined it and almost ate a days worth of fat and calories in 10 mins. WTF? The good news is... I did walk yesterday...
so yeah... that is what is going on...
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I am working the overnight shift again. I am really digging this so far. It isn't bad. I guess we will see what happens. One of the supervisors quit, so his old job is now open. I have tried it for the past few nights, and I think I am interested in it. I am pretty sure I am going to tell them that I defiantly would like to interview for it.
I am trying to decide if I am hungry. I am pretty sure that I am.
I didn't get "home" walk in today. I didn't get home from work until 8am, and I slept until after 3pm. I just didn't have the time to do it today, and I doubt that I will tomorrow either since I will not get home until 8am and I have to be back in at 4pm. That sucks - totally sucks.
The good news is, I got both of my walks in at work. I walked a mile each time and it took me about 15 mins etch time. Plus I had to sneak over into the warehouse and pull dock doors, and that is hard work, because they stick. So I am proud of myself for all of the exercise I have done today
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I am working the over night shift tonight - so, I have some time to think...
I have been getting a little frustrated lately. I am eating well, staying within my calories, drinking water, exercising and doing everything that I am supposed to, and the numbers on the scales won't go down. I even added more exercise to my day and the numbers on the scales don't go down. I started jogging using the "phone poll" method (so appx 1/4 mile) and the numbers on the scales aren't going down. I am getting pi$$ed.
What is the "Phone Poll" Method?
- the first 1/2 mile of my walk is a nice up hill grade. Pretty tough actually... once I reach the top and start back home I employ the "phone poll" method. I walk the distance between one phone poll, I jog the next, walk the next, jog the next, and keep repeating this until I am in my yard. Sometimes, if I am feeling frisky I will run to my front door, but don't do this often because I feel like I am going to die, and since I am home alone at that time of the day, I rather think that wouldn't be fun.
I have also employed another method of exercise. At work, I figured out how far a mile was. Twice a night, I go outside (I even bring my sexy sneakers to work) and walk 1 mile. It takes me about 15 mins, and it makes me feel pretty good. I walk a mile, come in and work, then go walk another one. I try to go at 8pm and Midnight when I am working my regular shift. Tonight I went at 10pm and 3am, and I did slack today and didn't go for my normal walk because it was too stinkin hot out. The dew points were in the 70's - which translates to "oppressive" humidity. I should have done a WATP (Walk Away the Pounds) dvd, but honestly, I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend... and we had some sexy time, so I think that burns calories right?
Hummus... I hate hummus. I have tried and tried to like this stuff, and when I bought this jalapeņo flavored, at first I liked it... then it sucked. I have bought every flavor I can think of and I still hate it. Everyone on here raves about hummus... and I think it is gross.
I thought maybe I would go swimming and that would help, however, the only places to swim are the public pools, and I can't stand to be around all of those screaming kids and mommy moos... I could join the one gym that has a pool, but it seems a little steep in price just to use the pool a few times a week, and once again, not only will there be screaming kids and mommy moos, but there will also be old people and meatheads. Not to mention I think about all the funky things one can contract in public areas like that and start getting creeped out and paranoid... I don't think they would let me work out in a Hazmat suit... they may... my Aunt has a pool, but her liner ripped and she ordered a new one, and it has yet to come... plus once again, I may have to contend with my cousin's girlfriend and her children. If you haven't guessed, I am not really a fan of children - they are ok in small doses, when they don't really talk to me... or talk at all...
I might also add that it is long nights like this one that I miss smoking. Like... I could really smoke right now.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Sometimes, I get angry with myself. I get frustrated when I get on the scales and don't see it drop as much as I thought it should. I am trying really hard not to give into cravings, but sometimes it is hard. I know that it is wrong to deprive myself, so I try not to do that, but there are times when I am CRAVING Mcdonalds. I don't know why. Sometimes I feel like every time I drive past and don't stop is an accomplishment. I know that having Mcdonalds once in a while won't kill me, but I have associated those types of foods as "bad" and "off limits" for so long, that it is hard not to feel guilty.
Don't get me wrong, I am still losing weight, but not as quickly as I think I should be. Maybe I am eating to much peanut butter?
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