Friday, October 28, 2011
most people make what I refer to as dishwater coffee. It is like brown water. My mother and grandmother are famous for this. They use 2 scoops for an entire pot (which would equal out to less than 1/4 cup) in a standard pot, I use about 1/2 cup for a full pot, in my french press I use 3 tablespoons for 2 cups. I use more coffee for 2 cups than they do for an entire pot!
When I drink coffee, I like flavor. I like to taste it. I don't see the point of drinking it if you can't taste it?
I think that is all for now
Monday, October 24, 2011
For my psych evaluation I had to fill out a questionnaire. It listed a bunch of feelings and they wanted to know if I felt any of those feelings in the last 2 weeks or within the last 2 years. The majority of them I checked YES to because, while I am devoid of many emotions and feelings, I still do have some. Most of them were basic human emotions that everyone (myself included) feels at some point.
Then it wanted to know...
Do you ever feel on top of the world?
Do you ever feel like you are god or god-like?
Do you ever feel like hurting yourself?
Do you envision you own death?
Do you have thoughts of suicide?
Do you want to do harm to others?
Of course I am the furthest thing from suicidal - homicidal... well, I guess that depends on the day (kidding really) but I guess I get those questions. I seriously did laugh at the God like thing. I think that has something to do with bi-polar disorder or something, but it gave me a chuckle.
The good news is, the psychologist has found no mental reason why I can not have surgery. He says I am mentally a-ok (imagine that?!?!)
My gym contract is now up, and I am not sure what I am going to be doing yet. I haven't been using it anyway. I have been opting for walking and bike riding. I like being out doors this time of year. I wish I could just get a gym membership for the summer months... like April through September. I like walking and such in the colder weather. I plan on riding my bike even when there is snow on the ground provided the roads are clear.
Anyway, I went to the doctors today and she prescribed me Adipex. She gave me enough for 45 days which is all she is permitted to by law. That is fine with me. I know the insurance company is going to require that I try taking them, so I figured we would get that out of the way now. I have taken them before, and have had minimal success. Honestly, I don't even think I am going to get them filled.they do a host of things to my body, none of which are positive. To be honest, the insurance company won't know if I get them filled or not since they won't pay for them. All I have to tell the doctor is that they made me mean and extremely irritable (which is not a lie) and that it made my heart do funny things (again, not a lie) and that should be all I have to do.
It kind of irritates me that the insurance company would require me to try something like Adipex or other diet drugs, that are harmful and potentially addictive. I guess they look at it like it is a cheaper solution. Who cares if it is a harmful one?
I think that is all for now
Sunday, October 16, 2011
My visit with the RD was a little bit lame. She asked me a bunch of questions. We discussed what I eat in a day, and she was pretty impressed with my eating habits. I didn't lie to her. I told her that there are days when I eat complete crap. There are days when I eat frozen pizza and ice cream from the carton. However, more often that not, I opt to cook my meals, eat whole foods, and take it easy on the junk.
She asked me what is the one food I could not live without. It took me a while to think about it, and when I finally answered her, I said FRUIT. She looked very strangely at me. Then she said, Fruit? In the form of a question. I answered with "Yes, fruit" and she started laughing. She looked thoughtful for a moment then and asked, "You would be ok with giving up chocolate cake and ice cream?" I looked at her and said, "well, can I have peanut butter?" she replied with "yes" - and I told her I would be perfectly fine with it then. She chuckled and said, "I think you are going to do just fine with this Cortney, I really do."
Next I go for my psych evaluation. I am looking forward to it. Of course my insurance won't cover it because they suck, but if I keep doing everything I am supposed to, they will cover my surgery.
I am making an awesome chili tonight for dinner. You should all be jealous :0)
I went to ride my bike the other day, and I ended up oversleeping. I didn't have time for a ride which bummed me out since I specifically drove my boyfriend's truck home from work (not the easiest truck to drive either) so I could load up my bike and go for a ride. I hate not having anywhere to ride it. Oh well, I am sure we will be able to get another ride or two in before winter.
My gym membership expires this month, and I will not be renewing it at my current gym. I like my gym (despite the unfriendly people) however, I am not driving 30 miles and wasting fuel to go there. I am going to join a gym that is about 1/4 mile from my work. I have to drive past it to get there and go home. Plus I get a discount. I am not sure if I am going to join right away though. I need to save money for co pays and deductibles for my surgery. In the meantime, I can walk, ride my bike and Work out with Richard.
I think that is all for now
Monday, October 10, 2011
I haven't blogged in a very long time. I plan on making a nice long entry after my appointment with the Registered Dietitian tomorrow. However, for now, here is a pic of my adorable babies
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sometimes, not having a lot of friends blows. It sucks that the few I do have either don't live close to me, or don't really have the means to communicate with me on a regular basis.
Right now, I am feeling a little sad. There was this guy I used to work with all of the time and I pretty much considered him family. He was a genuine good old boy, born and bred in the hills of Kentucky (in fact he lived very close to Bill Monroe). An old truck driver, he was close friends with the owner of my company. He had a small fleet of drivers that I helped him manage. Over the years, we got to be very close. A few years back his wife suffered a stroke and he had to give up most of his hobbies to take care of her. Apparently, a few months ago he fell and broke his hip, and now he is in a nursing home recovering.
First, I can't believe no one told me. Everyone I work with knows how close I am to him, and no one bothered to tell me. Then again, I am upset with myself because I should have kept in better contact with him. We are going to give him a call today after things calm down.
I attended a seminar of the Weight Loss surgery, and I have decided that I am going to go on ahead with it. I have gained 4 pounds despite eating my 1500 calories a day or less, and continuing with exercise. I am under the firm belief that when I used CHANTIX to help me stop smoking, it screwed something up in my body that doesn't seem fixable. When I say I can't lose weight, I really and truly mean that. Everyone seems to offer suggestions (eat more fiber, eat less carbs, do more strength training, do more cardio... do this, do that) but none of it seems to work with my body. I have been working at this for over a year and a half and have basically gotten no where.
A few years ago (way before I quit smoking) I joined curves and started eating less junk. I went from weighing 230 pounds to weighing 212 in a matter of a few months. Then I lost interest in doing that and went back to old eating habits. Despite eating at Mcdonalds, Burger King, Subway (the non-low-fat choices), pizza, frozen junk, oreos and bags of potato chips as snacks, I was able to maintain that weight. I should also mention I drank, on average, a 2 liter of regular Mt Dew a day, a gallon of wine a week, some beer, some Jack Daniels, and what ever other drinks sounded good on a Saturday night. Of course, with hanging out at bars every weekend, came with it, the yummy, fired bar food, and yet I still maintained that weight. Some times I would weight 215, 220, 212, 210... but the weight stayed with in the same range most of the time.
When I started taking CHANTIX and quit smoking, I went from weighing appx 212 pounds to weighing 250 in a matter of months. I started changing my eating habits and went for a mile walk once a day. I went from 250 to 242 pounds in a week. I was so excited! The next week I went from 242 to 242. At one point I made it down to 229, then it went back up to 235, despite doing what I was supposed to do. I joined the gym and worked my ass off. The first month, I went 5-6 times a week. I did apex 1 hour of hard cardio exercise 5 days a week, plus strength training 3 times a week. I gave myself 1 month before I weighed myself. I went from 235 to 234.6.
To make a long story short, nothing is really working. I have spent hundreds of dollars on gym memberships and personal trainers. I have done weight watchers, spark, atkins... with no results. I still continue to eat my 1500 calories a day or less. I still continue to exercise, but I have decided that WLS is the way to go for me. I meet with my Family doctor on Monday to start the process. I have an appointment with an RD on 10/11. I will also need to get a psych evaluation, which I am actually looking forward to.
I think that is all for now...
ps: I should also mention that I have also spent about $1000 dollars getting blood work done. I have had thyroid, cortisol, hormone levels checked. I have been checked for PCOS (which I don't have) and everything has come back normal. So, I know there is nothing medically wrong (or at least that they can find) so... I thought I would add that
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