CORTNEY-LEE   54,658
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Sunday, September 25, 2011

Sometimes, not having a lot of friends blows. It sucks that the few I do have either don't live close to me, or don't really have the means to communicate with me on a regular basis.

Right now, I am feeling a little sad. There was this guy I used to work with all of the time and I pretty much considered him family. He was a genuine good old boy, born and bred in the hills of Kentucky (in fact he lived very close to Bill Monroe). An old truck driver, he was close friends with the owner of my company. He had a small fleet of drivers that I helped him manage. Over the years, we got to be very close. A few years back his wife suffered a stroke and he had to give up most of his hobbies to take care of her. Apparently, a few months ago he fell and broke his hip, and now he is in a nursing home recovering.

First, I can't believe no one told me. Everyone I work with knows how close I am to him, and no one bothered to tell me. Then again, I am upset with myself because I should have kept in better contact with him. We are going to give him a call today after things calm down.

I attended a seminar of the Weight Loss surgery, and I have decided that I am going to go on ahead with it. I have gained 4 pounds despite eating my 1500 calories a day or less, and continuing with exercise. I am under the firm belief that when I used CHANTIX to help me stop smoking, it screwed something up in my body that doesn't seem fixable. When I say I can't lose weight, I really and truly mean that. Everyone seems to offer suggestions (eat more fiber, eat less carbs, do more strength training, do more cardio... do this, do that) but none of it seems to work with my body. I have been working at this for over a year and a half and have basically gotten no where.

A few years ago (way before I quit smoking) I joined curves and started eating less junk. I went from weighing 230 pounds to weighing 212 in a matter of a few months. Then I lost interest in doing that and went back to old eating habits. Despite eating at Mcdonalds, Burger King, Subway (the non-low-fat choices), pizza, frozen junk, oreos and bags of potato chips as snacks, I was able to maintain that weight. I should also mention I drank, on average, a 2 liter of regular Mt Dew a day, a gallon of wine a week, some beer, some Jack Daniels, and what ever other drinks sounded good on a Saturday night. Of course, with hanging out at bars every weekend, came with it, the yummy, fired bar food, and yet I still maintained that weight. Some times I would weight 215, 220, 212, 210... but the weight stayed with in the same range most of the time.

When I started taking CHANTIX and quit smoking, I went from weighing appx 212 pounds to weighing 250 in a matter of months. I started changing my eating habits and went for a mile walk once a day. I went from 250 to 242 pounds in a week. I was so excited! The next week I went from 242 to 242. At one point I made it down to 229, then it went back up to 235, despite doing what I was supposed to do. I joined the gym and worked my ass off. The first month, I went 5-6 times a week. I did apex 1 hour of hard cardio exercise 5 days a week, plus strength training 3 times a week. I gave myself 1 month before I weighed myself. I went from 235 to 234.6.

To make a long story short, nothing is really working. I have spent hundreds of dollars on gym memberships and personal trainers. I have done weight watchers, spark, atkins... with no results. I still continue to eat my 1500 calories a day or less. I still continue to exercise, but I have decided that WLS is the way to go for me. I meet with my Family doctor on Monday to start the process. I have an appointment with an RD on 10/11. I will also need to get a psych evaluation, which I am actually looking forward to.

I think that is all for now...

ps: I should also mention that I have also spent about $1000 dollars getting blood work done. I have had thyroid, cortisol, hormone levels checked. I have been checked for PCOS (which I don't have) and everything has come back normal. So, I know there is nothing medically wrong (or at least that they can find) so... I thought I would add that

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BFREE2LIVE 9/26/2011 3:32AM

    Well all I can say is it sounds like you have made up your mind to do this surgery so I won't bother to ask any questions of you.
Please do your research as I know a person who has done the lap band and she gets to eat 2 oz. of some kind of baby food four times a day. Does not seem like enough to keep her alive, she is losing but slowly as she has no energy to do any exercise.

I started my journey before I joined Sparks and my starting weight was over 260 and same as you I was a smoker and took the Chantix to stop smoking and it made me want to drink more and I became an alcoholic that was bad enough until the Doctor gave me my death sentence he told me I had a month to live if I did not stop over eating and drinking so much.
Well I guess you know I changed my life and I am here today to tell you I weigh 119 pounds and it took me three years to lose but I did it the old fashioned way by counting my calories and eating healthy and exercising every day. I am 60 years old and have maintained my weight for almost three years now and feel like I am thirty.
Best wishes with your life and the decision you make about how to lose the weight. Sandy

Comment edited on: 9/26/2011 3:33:11 AM

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    Thanks for clarifying. I have come across some people on this website that either eat more than they say they do or don't really exercise with intensity or something else is going on that is causing them not to lose weight. Basically, they are not being honest with themselves.

I just wanted you to be really sure before choosing surgery because it is a permanent deformation of your body and there can be complications. If you really believe it is right for you than I am on your side. I really hope it works for you.

Best wishes!

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CORTNEY-LEE 9/25/2011 5:09PM

    I don't really talk to people at my gym. Most of them are either 1000 years old or are arrogant meatheads who are too involved in themselves and their flexing to carry on a conversation that doesn't involve protein shakes and the best way to work your delts. The women are at best... the same way. Unfriendly, snooty and condescending. I don't care to associate myself with people like that.

I think my entry may have misled you into thinking I still consume alcohol. My point was I used to drink all of the time, and I no longer drink. I had a beer last Wednesday and that was the first beer I had drank in over a month. On average I have 0-1 alcoholic beverages per month. I drink mostly water, with one cup of coffee (w/ 2 tablespoons of ff half and half) and usually 1-2 cups of hot tea.

I eat a lot of fresh, whole foods. I opt to cook 80% of the time. I am going to admit, that sometimes I eat crap, but more often than not, I am eating pretty good stuff. Fruits and veggies are my fave. I try to have at least 2 servings of fruit per day and 5 servings of veggies. I prefer them raw, but will eat cooked. I don't eat a lot of white potatoes, but enjoy sweet potatoes with meals on occasion.

I am not saying that it will work, but neither has anything else, so to me, it is worth a shot. WLS sounds like a better alternative than dying. In the end, that is really what it is all about

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    I am sorry about your friend and your feelings of loneliness you have. I have met some nice ladies at my Zumba class and plan to walk with them one day a week. I also met a Sparkbuddy on this website that ended up living 3 miles from my house. My other good friend I met helping out at school and sport functions.

There are ways to meet people. Start talking to someone at your gym when you workout or get involved in a hobby group.

I am also wondering how you know that the surgery will work for you. If you are eating the calorie range you say and exercising and can't lose weight, how will having a small stomach change the fact that eating 1200 calories doesn't seem to help you lose weight?

Also, are you eating lots of healthy fruits and veggies along with 8 glasses of water or are you eating a little of this and that and drinking the rest of the calories in alcohol? It just doesn't add up.

I would hate to see someone get surgery only to be disappointed that it didn't magically fix the problem.

I wish you all the best and support your decision for surgery IF you have made an honest 110% attempt to lose weight the healthy way. I mean no disrespect. I just want you to take an honest look at yourself before you decide to have surgery.

Good luck on your journey!

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CORTNEY-LEE 9/25/2011 10:07AM

    yes, I forgot to mention that I have had everything you can imagine checked with blood work... thyroid, cortisol, hormone levels... and everything came back totally normal.

It has been 1.5 years since I have weighed 250 pounds. In that time, I have stuck to a restricted calorie program (for the most part, there have been days where I went over of course, but nothing that would totally wreck my weight loss efforts) and an exercise program. Nothing works. I should be either at, or very close to my goal weight by now, but I still have almost 100 pounds to get there.

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LOSEITLINDSAY 9/25/2011 9:53AM

    First, I just want to ask: when did you start working on the weight once you hit 250? How long has it been? Have you had your thyroid checked?

Personally, I am down to 234 from 247, and it is slow progress, but it's progress.

Second, I want to say that I hope that your friend is out of the nursing home as soon as possible. Maybe this is a good opportunity to strengthen that relationship. And, don't forget that good friends may be hard to come by, but they are out there. You just have to put yourself out there to meet them.

I wish you the best of luck with these challenges. Be easy on yourself.

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Why they movie Titanic is the most horrible film every made

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I was forced to watch the movie Titanic a few weeks ago. I have to admit I hate it even more now than I did when I first saw it in the late 90's. I just don't see how you can take such a tragedy like that and make it into some crappy, Hollywood teen-heart-throb romance. I think it is disrespectful to the victims, their families, and even the survivors.

so I decided this morning to make myself a pizza egg mug. It is fantastic. 3 egg whites, 4 turkey pepperoni and a wedge of laughing cow cheese. I am making zuchinni lasagna tonight for my work dinner for the next few nights. With the left over zuchinni I am going to make a Spark recipe that I found for easy zuchinni parm for my dinner tonight.

My grandmother got me an awesome tart warmer. So my house smells awesome like Pumpkin Spice.

oh, and I also made some awesome coffee this morning. I grind it fresh each time and use a french press instead of a regular pot. I am not bragging, but I make an awesome cup of coffee.

I think that is all for now

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AZURE-SKY 10/16/2011 4:34PM

  I'm glad I'm not the only person in the world who hated the latest version of Titanic. It was one of the most boring, long, drawn-out, badly acted, sappy movies I've ever seen.

I'm not opposed to movies about tragic events, but his version was the worst. There are many other versions of this story that are so much better, better character development, better acting. Try the 1953 version of Titanic with Barbara Stanwyck - excellent movie.

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GOODGETNBETR 9/14/2011 1:13AM

    I disagree on the movie but emoticon on your new tart warmer.

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The never ending pasta bowl

Friday, September 09, 2011

I love the never ending pasta bowl at Olive Garden. My fave combo is whole wheat linguine with marinara sauce.

One might not think the NEPB is very "diet" friendly... but it can be. First, it is cheaper than any other dish on the menu. $8.95 vs the $10.95 for the standard price for Linguine Marinara. Second, they offer whole wheat pasta in addition to other selections. Third, the portion is smaller. So, you can spend $10.95 and waste half of it, or you can spend $8.95 and not waste any.

If you have once serving of the whole wheat linguine with marinara you are looking at a meal that is under 400 calories since the standard dinner portion has 430 calories, and this portion is smaller.

Personally, I don't care about "carbs" because decreasing carbs doesn't help me lose weight.

I go on the 21st for a seminar about weight loss surgery. Providing I qualify, I am going to go for it. The bottom line is I have tried everything under the sun to lose weight and it just won't come off. I have increased exercise, I have decreased it. I have added various cardio and strength training exercises, I have increased calories, decreased calories, cut carbs, cut fat, added carbs, added fat, upped protein, cut back on protein... the bottom line is nothing works. It has taken me almost a year and half to lose less than 20 pounds.

I have had all of the blood work you can think of... everything under the sun has been checked and it all comes back normal. My thyroid is normal. Everything is normal, except my Cortisol level was SLIGHTLY elevated, but anything could have contributed to that. Since normal is between 4-19 and mine was 21, the fact I was flipping out about getting blood taken might have been the reason.

I still haven't made up my mine 100%, but it is looking that way,

I think that is all for now

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ITGALLO 9/14/2011 4:52PM

    I had Gastric Bypass surgery and it has been so wonderful for me. I am so glad I did it. Nine months out I can't eat Pasta (it balls up in my pouch like a big wad--same with bread--and it hurts because I feel too full,) but I get the soup and salad without the breadsticks, and I am very happy with that. If you want the surgery and you qualify, be sure and take the training so you know what to expect--then go for it. My sister is two years out from surgery, looks great, is healthy and can eat anything, but now she can control it! All the best to you. emoticon

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CORTNEY-LEE 9/9/2011 3:46PM

DONNAEDA you should take the time to actually READ the blog I wrote? I was promoting the cheaper price, SMALLER portion, and the fact that whole wheat pasta is offered as a selection.

I am well aware that MODERATION is the key to anything. If you would read previous blogs, and perhaps check my food tracker you would see this.

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DONNAEDA 9/9/2011 1:24PM

    May I suggest that you never think of a non ending pasta bowl. The key to losing weight is eating in moderation. If you have ther surgury, you will never be able to eat unending anything. If you do, you will be one sick puppy. You need to know that eating as you know it today is never going to be the same after surgury.

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MYUTMOST4HIM 9/9/2011 12:29PM

    Whatever you do, it is YOUR decision and I am not here to talk you out of or into anything!!!
What you have written here is pretty much my story (only you put it into words better).
When I began, June of 2005, I turned to God for His advice - and he steered me. Sure, I read articles and listened to people give advice, but I would always run it before God to see if it was right for me.
I had a Dr at the time pressuring me to have the weight loss surgery. Problem was, I have a sister that had the surgery many years ago and until about a year ago, had to live with AWFUL side effects. I simply was not going to go down that road. Then the Dr had the nerve to chew me out for losing only 8 pounds the first year I was doing it "God's way". Ok, maybe I did only lose 8 pounds but lost THREE DRESS SIZES. I was strength training a lot!!!!

I know I have talked your ear off, but just one more thing - your metabolism is probably not working right after all the different ways you have tried to lose weight. So whatever you choose - give it extra time. It will need time to stableize.

Also, do you track sodium - this is a silent killer to a lot of diets

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Meet Lucy

Friday, September 09, 2011

This is the newest addition to our family. Her name is Lucy, and she was rescued from the Central Pennsylvania Humane Society.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-POOKIE- 9/10/2011 2:45AM

    eee that last picture is super cute!

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PHATFIT2 9/9/2011 1:05PM

    emoticon Lucy emoticon

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WELSTEACH 9/9/2011 11:56AM

    She is cute. Kittens (well, baby animals in general) are all adorable. Enjoy her and know you saved a life.

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comfort food

Thursday, September 01, 2011

I was woken up this morning by the cat at 6am. I am not exactly sure what he wanted? He had food, he had water, but he wanted me up for some reason. I felt bad, but I had to toss him out of the room because he kept carrying on.

Then it started storming. The sound of the thunder shook the house! I finally gave up sleeping around 10:00. It has been dreary and raining all morning, so I decided to have some good old fashioned comfort food for breakfast. I made a nice cup of hot black tea and whole wheat toast with peanut butter on one slice and chunky almond butter on another. What an awesome breakfast.

I have to go back to work today, but I am ok with that. I volunteered to work on my Saturday off for some extra pay. I want to get my savings account built back up since I bought my bike. It wiped me out. Also, if I decide to go through with surgery, I am going to need money for copays and deductibles.

I am still unsure about getting another cat. I just don't know what to do. I don't want the poor thing to sit in the shelter, but I am not sure how leroy will get along with another cat. He is quite the spoiled little thing. I guess I should call and talk to them first.

I think that is all for now

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYUTMOST4HIM 9/9/2011 12:30PM

    I wish we would get some rain - UGH

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-POOKIE- 9/2/2011 9:02AM

    Can you bring the other kitty home to trial it with Leroy first?

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VVKIMBO07 9/1/2011 12:20PM

    Cats are funny creatures. My mom's cats will "knock" on her bedroom door in the early morning hours until someone lets them in the room. It drives her nuts! emoticon

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