Thursday, August 04, 2011
** Warning **
This is another anti-baby blog
If you are pro-baby, pro-life or otherwise, I suggest you move along
I called my doctor today and made an appointment for 11/3/2011. This is only the second time I have been to him, so I am hoping that he gives me what I am asking for.
Last year when I went to see him and asked him to tie my tubes, he said no. Once again giving me the lame ass excuse "You might change your mind someday" - I am hoping that once he sees that another year has passed and I am still anti-baby, that he might reconsider.
Since I am not married, I often encounter "what if you meet a guy who wants kids?" - my response to that is "Too bad, guess he won't be the guy for me then" Lucky for me, my current boyfriend (3 years next month) has no desire to have children. We want a new Harley Davidson, a Ford F250 power stroke diesel, and to remodel our house and the house he owns next to us. Those plans don't include buying diapers. Those plans do not include being held back by offspring. No, quite the contrary actually. I would rather have a new Harley than a kid. If I decide I don't like it, I can trade it on another one, or sell it out right and buy something else. Not so with a kid... well actually, I could, but I think that is pretty illegal, at least in this country.
I am going to try to explain as calm and as intelligent as I can why this is what needs to be done. First, I am on the birth control pill (Seasonique to be exact) and it does what it is supposed to do. I take it every day and i don't get knocked up. But, what happens if, for what ever reason, I get pregnant anyway? The pill is not 100% effective. True, in all of my years of being sexually active, I have yet to get pregnant, however, there is always that small chance that it might not work. What happens if I take another medication (like antibiotics) and think I am in the clear and I am not? Then what? Should I be forced to have a child that I don't want? Should I be forced to have an abortion and have that haunting my conscious for the rest of my life? No, I don't think I should.
I don't think I was born with any type of motherly instinct either. Like, when I hear a baby cry, I don't have the urge to pick it up and comfort it... noooo.. I would rather put a pillow over its face so I don't have to hear it.
I am not saying that kids can't be cool SOMETIMES and be fun SOMETIMES. I love my co-worker's kids. She has a boy (age 9) and a girl (age 7) and they are awesome kids. I love when they come to her at work. They are energetic, happy, full of life and so, so , so smart! I enjoy the times I get to see them, and I might even enjoy spending a day with them. That is about it though. Then the day is done, and I get to go home to my quiet house and be left alone. It was a good and fun day, but when it is over, I am ok with that. I don't go home and lament over my empty womb. Quite the contrary actually,
I don't like needy things. That is why I have a cat. Kitty is great. you give him some food and water, scoop his box, give him some love and snuggles and take him to the vet once in a while and that is about it. Cats love you when they want to love you and I am ok with that. Like right now I am sitting on the couch and the cat is snoozing behind me and wants left alone. He isn't always at me for something like a kid would be. Kids are needy and I don't like needy.
It also comes back to the idea if knowing that you wouldn't be good at something. I mean, I realize you should "try" something before you give up, but having a kid isn't really something you can "try" at. I mean, it isn't like trying out a gym, you can't get a week free coupon and see how you like it. Once you have it, you pretty much have it, and if you suck at it - WATCH OUT! It will pretty much haunt you until the day you die. The rest of the kids life you will have to hear about how bad you screwed up and how much their life sucks because of you. No thanks - I think I would just rather sit that one out and know that I am not going to be good at it.
Then you look at the expense. Kids are expensive and honestly, I would rather spend that money on clothes for myself than some little brat who isn't going to appreciate it anyway. Like I said before, I would just rather have a new Harley.
I think that is all for now
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
I want a bike in the worst kind of way. Last night at Walmart my boyfriend and i were looking at them. He said he might just buy me one. I don't want to spend a lot of money. I am not sure how often I will get to ride it, so I want to keep it cheap.
Anyway, I was trying different ones and am having trouble finding one. I tried the 24 inch and it seemed a little small, so I tried a 26 inch and it seems a little big. Granted, I was wearing flip-flops and a skirt, and was struggling not to show the store my business, but I was having a hard time with the 26 inch bike.
I was looking at a mountain bike and also a "crusier". My boyfriend thinks I should get a mountain bike. He said I should have one with gears. I am more of a fan of the Crusier model, however, if we go anywhere that has hills, I will be effed. It is great for riding on flat ground, but that is about it.
So the Boyfriend and I had an awesome Tuesday. We spent all afternoon in the pool soaking up the sun and talking about future plans. We talked about different things we wanted to do to the house, and different possibilites of adding on, remodling and revamping. Then we went out to my parents house to pick up my mini TV, Richard Simmons Videos and my new Ian Flemming book that came in the mail. We talked with them for a bit before we headed to Olive Garden for dinner.
Olive Garden was sooo awesome. I got the lunch portion of the meal instead of the full dinner portion. I limited myself to 2 breadsticks and I will admit I had 2 servings of salad. All told I am sure the meal was still over 1,000 calories, but I hadn't really ate a lot that day, so it was ok. Plus, it isn't like we do it all of the time. It used to be a once a month treat, but we haven't been there in several months, opting to eat at home most of the time.
I think that is all for now
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
everyone always says not to go to the grocery store when you are hungry. I made this mistake today.
I had just gotten done at the gym, and figured I would buzz by TJ Maxx to see if they had anything interesting. I found myself in the housewares section where they have odds and ends. They also have a small food section of mostly sauces, coffee, tea and a few odds and ends. While I was looking I found two sauces (Mango/Coconut and Cranberry Merlot) that I thought sounded awesome. I started thinking of all the yummy ways I could prepare chicken, shrimp and fish with these sauces. I bought them for a grand total of... $9.95.
I then had to stop at Martin's (giant) Grocery store because I am almost out of Strawberry Balsamic dressing. I do use that dressing a lot, so I needed to get some. My chicken salads just aren't the same without it. While I am getting that, I look over and see they have Blueberry Pomegranate flavored vinegar! Well, doesn't that sound divine? I have been making a lot of my own salad dressing lately for home salads and figured I would give that a shot! Then I noticed they had Ken's Fat Free Sun Dried Tomato something or other... ohh and I thought about how awesome that would be on a nice crisp salad with those real bacon crumbles, so I had to get that. I also bought reduced fat shredded cheddar cheese, but I needed to buy that anyway, and it was on sale. Grand Total there... $13.86
I then went to walmart. I had my list out and bought everything on it... plus a watermelon, 4 oranges, an extra can of green beans, and a box of Earl Gray decaf tea. Grand Total there... $39.10
When I go to the store hungry, I don't buy junk. I go nuts usually on the fresh fruits because they all look so yummy and awesome and refreshing.
I tend to steer away from the junk food when I go to the store hungry, especially if it is after a workout. I mostly navigate to the junk food if I am tired or feeling a little down in the dumps.
I am going to be making an awesome Tuna Noodle Casserole for my work lunch Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. It is going to be awesome. And yes, I will be eating it all three days. I am actually tracking food into Friday already.... OCD Much?
I find though that planning ahead is always a good thing. The more I plan the easier it is for me to stick to the plan. I have the time, so why not use it to plan these things out?
I think that is all for now
Sunday, July 31, 2011
I really wish HITS 1 would STOP playing Ke$ha every other song. It is now ingrained in my subconscious.
I keep feeling anxious. It is the weirdest thing. It is like I am having a constant panic attack since yesterday. I don't know why I feel this way, but I don't like feeling this way. It makes working that much more difficult. I don't suffer from any anxiety/panic disorders that I know of. I have had problems in the past, but have managed to overcome them since it was never really an option for me to succumb to them. Anyway though, it is a horrible feeling and is beginning to annoy me and distract me.
I am going to be over my calorie limit by about 200 today if I eat everything as planned. I may or may not. One never knows. I do know that right now, I am CRAVING Poptarts... I haven't had one in soooooooo long and I don't know why, but I want one now damnit! Just giving in to my craving will help me in the long run I am sure. It will avoid me eating an entire box of them, and throwing them back up. If it is one thing I have learned, it is to not deprive myself of something when I want it, because when I do it just leads to a lot more damaging behaviour.
I am going to go to the gym tomorrow and try something new. I am going to do my usual strength training, because... well, I have to... and I want to get in my cardio. I need a really good cardio workout. I miss my cardio. When I do strength training, I just don't feel like doing cardio. Which sucks because I LOVE cardio. If there is one thing I like when it comes to working out, it is cardio. It makes me feel like I am accomplishing something where strength training doesn't really make me feel like I am accomplishing anything. Plus I think it is boring. You sit there, you life weights... blah... I have more fun with cardio because I put on some tunes and bee-bop around while I am on the elliptical/treadmill/bike. Plus while I am doing cardio, I don't have to focus on anything and I can let my mind wander and I don't have to worry about counting anything, or worry about proper form or anything like that.
I suppose I should go back to work and be productive...
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