Wednesday, August 03, 2011
I want a bike in the worst kind of way. Last night at Walmart my boyfriend and i were looking at them. He said he might just buy me one. I don't want to spend a lot of money. I am not sure how often I will get to ride it, so I want to keep it cheap.
Anyway, I was trying different ones and am having trouble finding one. I tried the 24 inch and it seemed a little small, so I tried a 26 inch and it seems a little big. Granted, I was wearing flip-flops and a skirt, and was struggling not to show the store my business, but I was having a hard time with the 26 inch bike.
I was looking at a mountain bike and also a "crusier". My boyfriend thinks I should get a mountain bike. He said I should have one with gears. I am more of a fan of the Crusier model, however, if we go anywhere that has hills, I will be effed. It is great for riding on flat ground, but that is about it.
So the Boyfriend and I had an awesome Tuesday. We spent all afternoon in the pool soaking up the sun and talking about future plans. We talked about different things we wanted to do to the house, and different possibilites of adding on, remodling and revamping. Then we went out to my parents house to pick up my mini TV, Richard Simmons Videos and my new Ian Flemming book that came in the mail. We talked with them for a bit before we headed to Olive Garden for dinner.
Olive Garden was sooo awesome. I got the lunch portion of the meal instead of the full dinner portion. I limited myself to 2 breadsticks and I will admit I had 2 servings of salad. All told I am sure the meal was still over 1,000 calories, but I hadn't really ate a lot that day, so it was ok. Plus, it isn't like we do it all of the time. It used to be a once a month treat, but we haven't been there in several months, opting to eat at home most of the time.
I think that is all for now
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
everyone always says not to go to the grocery store when you are hungry. I made this mistake today.
I had just gotten done at the gym, and figured I would buzz by TJ Maxx to see if they had anything interesting. I found myself in the housewares section where they have odds and ends. They also have a small food section of mostly sauces, coffee, tea and a few odds and ends. While I was looking I found two sauces (Mango/Coconut and Cranberry Merlot) that I thought sounded awesome. I started thinking of all the yummy ways I could prepare chicken, shrimp and fish with these sauces. I bought them for a grand total of... $9.95.
I then had to stop at Martin's (giant) Grocery store because I am almost out of Strawberry Balsamic dressing. I do use that dressing a lot, so I needed to get some. My chicken salads just aren't the same without it. While I am getting that, I look over and see they have Blueberry Pomegranate flavored vinegar! Well, doesn't that sound divine? I have been making a lot of my own salad dressing lately for home salads and figured I would give that a shot! Then I noticed they had Ken's Fat Free Sun Dried Tomato something or other... ohh and I thought about how awesome that would be on a nice crisp salad with those real bacon crumbles, so I had to get that. I also bought reduced fat shredded cheddar cheese, but I needed to buy that anyway, and it was on sale. Grand Total there... $13.86
I then went to walmart. I had my list out and bought everything on it... plus a watermelon, 4 oranges, an extra can of green beans, and a box of Earl Gray decaf tea. Grand Total there... $39.10
When I go to the store hungry, I don't buy junk. I go nuts usually on the fresh fruits because they all look so yummy and awesome and refreshing.
I tend to steer away from the junk food when I go to the store hungry, especially if it is after a workout. I mostly navigate to the junk food if I am tired or feeling a little down in the dumps.
I am going to be making an awesome Tuna Noodle Casserole for my work lunch Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. It is going to be awesome. And yes, I will be eating it all three days. I am actually tracking food into Friday already.... OCD Much?
I find though that planning ahead is always a good thing. The more I plan the easier it is for me to stick to the plan. I have the time, so why not use it to plan these things out?
I think that is all for now
Sunday, July 31, 2011
I really wish HITS 1 would STOP playing Ke$ha every other song. It is now ingrained in my subconscious.
I keep feeling anxious. It is the weirdest thing. It is like I am having a constant panic attack since yesterday. I don't know why I feel this way, but I don't like feeling this way. It makes working that much more difficult. I don't suffer from any anxiety/panic disorders that I know of. I have had problems in the past, but have managed to overcome them since it was never really an option for me to succumb to them. Anyway though, it is a horrible feeling and is beginning to annoy me and distract me.
I am going to be over my calorie limit by about 200 today if I eat everything as planned. I may or may not. One never knows. I do know that right now, I am CRAVING Poptarts... I haven't had one in soooooooo long and I don't know why, but I want one now damnit! Just giving in to my craving will help me in the long run I am sure. It will avoid me eating an entire box of them, and throwing them back up. If it is one thing I have learned, it is to not deprive myself of something when I want it, because when I do it just leads to a lot more damaging behaviour.
I am going to go to the gym tomorrow and try something new. I am going to do my usual strength training, because... well, I have to... and I want to get in my cardio. I need a really good cardio workout. I miss my cardio. When I do strength training, I just don't feel like doing cardio. Which sucks because I LOVE cardio. If there is one thing I like when it comes to working out, it is cardio. It makes me feel like I am accomplishing something where strength training doesn't really make me feel like I am accomplishing anything. Plus I think it is boring. You sit there, you life weights... blah... I have more fun with cardio because I put on some tunes and bee-bop around while I am on the elliptical/treadmill/bike. Plus while I am doing cardio, I don't have to focus on anything and I can let my mind wander and I don't have to worry about counting anything, or worry about proper form or anything like that.
I suppose I should go back to work and be productive...
Saturday, July 30, 2011
if you are pro-baby, pro-life, and pro-kid you will just want to skip this blog
I read an article on CNN yesterday about the world population crisis. It is set to reach 7 billion soon. The earth can not handle it. The ride is full. People need to stop breeding. It just isn't the developing countries either. Even though we are one of the richest countries in the world, we will feel the effects of over population. The demand for goods and services goes up, so does the price and we all suffer.
I am ok with this. In fact, I have chosen to live a child-free life. I started taking birth control at age 15 due to endometriosis. It was shortly thereafter, I decided I didn't want children. I was 16 when I first asked my doctor to tie my tubes. Of course he refused. Then again at 17, 18... and on up the line until my appointment last year.
Every time I am told the same thing... "I will change my mind. Every woman wants to be a mother" - one doctor even told me "You are not a woman if you don't have a child"
NO - that is NOT the case. I don't want to be a mother. In fact there is nothing in the world I want LESS than to be a mother. I despise children. I don't even think despise is the right word for it. I dislike them beyond words. I know that I would be a crappy one, and I am ok with that. I realize that and that is why I do not now, nor do I ever wish to reproduce. The thought of children makes my blood pressure go up. When I hear their whiny little voices, I want to stab my ear drums out so I don't have to hear them.
I can freely admit that I would be one of "those" mothers. You know, the ones that beat their children? The ones that drown their kids in the bathtub... yup that would be me. Everyone always tells me it is different when it "is your own" kids... no, I don't think that is the case at all. I realize this however, and thus why I want my tubes tied.
You would think after expressing this to the doctor (that and telling him if I ever got knocked up, it would meet the sharp end of a coat hanger) that they would be all for it... NOPE. Because once again... "every woman wants to be a mommy"
So all of these people (mostly men) think they can tell me what to do with my body. They want to take away my right to have an abortion, but yet, they won't do anything to prevent it except shove pills down my throat.
Of course, there are other methods of birth control, but I don't trust them. The pill is the most effective form and the one I trust the most. Condoms can break, foam can fail, I have never had a child, so getting an IUD is painful and has the same hormones as the pill, which is what I want to get off of. So why not tie my tubes?
I have been on birth control for over 15 years. Maybe it is just me, but that can't be good for me? That could possibly be where a lot of my inability to lose weight is coming from? I don't know... They say that birth control does effect weight, but I have read thousands (and yes, I do mean thousands) of post from women on message boards that claim otherwise.
So once, again, when I go for my yearly appointment, I am going to ask the doctor to tie my tubes... and I am sure that once again, I will be told... "every woman wants to be a mother"
That is all
ps: I am sorry if anyone take offense to this, however... I warned you in the beginning of the blog not to read it and second, it is how I feel, and it is related to my health.
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