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But what about my choice?

Saturday, July 30, 2011

WARNING **********************
if you are pro-baby, pro-life, and pro-kid you will just want to skip this blog


I read an article on CNN yesterday about the world population crisis. It is set to reach 7 billion soon. The earth can not handle it. The ride is full. People need to stop breeding. It just isn't the developing countries either. Even though we are one of the richest countries in the world, we will feel the effects of over population. The demand for goods and services goes up, so does the price and we all suffer.

I am ok with this. In fact, I have chosen to live a child-free life. I started taking birth control at age 15 due to endometriosis. It was shortly thereafter, I decided I didn't want children. I was 16 when I first asked my doctor to tie my tubes. Of course he refused. Then again at 17, 18... and on up the line until my appointment last year.

Every time I am told the same thing... "I will change my mind. Every woman wants to be a mother" - one doctor even told me "You are not a woman if you don't have a child"

NO - that is NOT the case. I don't want to be a mother. In fact there is nothing in the world I want LESS than to be a mother. I despise children. I don't even think despise is the right word for it. I dislike them beyond words. I know that I would be a crappy one, and I am ok with that. I realize that and that is why I do not now, nor do I ever wish to reproduce. The thought of children makes my blood pressure go up. When I hear their whiny little voices, I want to stab my ear drums out so I don't have to hear them.

I can freely admit that I would be one of "those" mothers. You know, the ones that beat their children? The ones that drown their kids in the bathtub... yup that would be me. Everyone always tells me it is different when it "is your own" kids... no, I don't think that is the case at all. I realize this however, and thus why I want my tubes tied.

You would think after expressing this to the doctor (that and telling him if I ever got knocked up, it would meet the sharp end of a coat hanger) that they would be all for it... NOPE. Because once again... "every woman wants to be a mommy"

So all of these people (mostly men) think they can tell me what to do with my body. They want to take away my right to have an abortion, but yet, they won't do anything to prevent it except shove pills down my throat.

Of course, there are other methods of birth control, but I don't trust them. The pill is the most effective form and the one I trust the most. Condoms can break, foam can fail, I have never had a child, so getting an IUD is painful and has the same hormones as the pill, which is what I want to get off of. So why not tie my tubes?

I have been on birth control for over 15 years. Maybe it is just me, but that can't be good for me? That could possibly be where a lot of my inability to lose weight is coming from? I don't know... They say that birth control does effect weight, but I have read thousands (and yes, I do mean thousands) of post from women on message boards that claim otherwise.

So once, again, when I go for my yearly appointment, I am going to ask the doctor to tie my tubes... and I am sure that once again, I will be told... "every woman wants to be a mother"

That is all

ps: I am sorry if anyone take offense to this, however... I warned you in the beginning of the blog not to read it and second, it is how I feel, and it is related to my health.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRS420 7/30/2011 3:15PM

    My doctor tied my tubes at 21.

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CINNAMONJOY 7/30/2011 2:42PM

    Yep. All I can say is that it gets easier as you get older. People gradually stop haranguing you about your choice to remain without children as you enter your late forties and by the time you reach fifty it ceases to matter. I DO remember the pressure I felt in my twenties and thirties, however. It never stops. In fact, it drives some women into making the wrong decision about parenthood and I find that very sad.

I felt the same way that you did, btw. When I was young I knew that I would be a horrible, abusive parent. I don't understand why SO many people question our judgement on it. It's like they think we should have our own just to find out or something. Uh, that probably wouldn't be a good idea. I think that if more people were encouraged to look at themselves honestly instead of being pressured to have children, they might come to the decision that parenthood isn't right for them. Maybe domestic violence would be a bit less of a problem.

It's great being fifty and CF, btw. My hubby and I have had a few "Kodak Moments" (wishing we'd had kids) here and there, but for the most part it's more "Squall-Mart Moments" (OMG, what a set of lungs on that kid...MAKE... IT... STOP!) than the other kind. We have nieces and nephews for the former and can return them when we are finished.

If you are interested, there's a great book called "Pride and Joy: The Lives And Passions Of Women Without Children" by Terri Casey that absolutely rocked my world when I was feeling heavily pressured to become pregnant "before it's too late!".

You might want to Google "Childfree Friendly Doctors" - There are a lot of CF groups on the Internet that will be more than happy to point you in the right direction.

Cheers from a fellow CF woman! emoticon

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ROCHELLE62 7/30/2011 2:37PM

    I have issues with doctors who believe that they know more than you about what you would want. I wouldn't have gone back to that doctor. I have heard stories from clients of doctors that refuse due to the youth of the patient. One was begging. she had a kid at 13, 15, 17 and 19 and even after 4 kids was told the doctor would never due that to a woman under 21.

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1LBDOWN 7/30/2011 1:42PM

  Have you tried another doctor?

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EVELYN5877 7/30/2011 1:27PM

    I have three children, all three of which were accidents! My husband wanted children, so we brought them up in the usual manner and I got used to them. I actually became a fair mother as it was not their fault, they didn't want to be born. Now they are all adults and I have two grandsons I am not close too. I honestly prefer cats! Neither of my daughters have children, the eldest was sterilised at 41 so she can't, the youngest is a career woman and refuses to have them. If you are born without that maternal streak you can't do anything about it. Marie stopes in London would probably do it for you, I dont know about u.s.a.

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OOLALA53 7/30/2011 10:38AM

    Are you the youngest in the family?

I never had the kind of relationship with a man in which we chose to have children, but I would have, if the opportunity had been there. . Yet, now 57 and childless, it doesn't haunt me. I think I would have had a challenging time raising children, though joy as well.

I hope you get what you want for your birthday. We certainly have plenty of people on Earth. If someone chooses to be childless, it seems that it should be honored. emoticon

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KJMAZ2011 7/30/2011 10:03AM

    I enjoyed your blog.(and I have a child.. lol) I think everyone should be able to make their own choices regarding their bodies! I believe you should be able to get your tubes tied! Or atleast a better reason for why you "can't" It really bothers me when people have such control over your life!

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Thursday, July 28, 2011

220 pounds- highlights
210 pounds - massage for 1 hour at the Bedford Springs resort
200 pounds - Hello Kitty Tattoo

**under 200 pounds rewards TBD**

I am thinking every 10 pounds I will treat myself to something awesome, I just don't know what quite yet. I know those are three things I want. I am pretty much guessing that I will eventually reward myself with clothes, lingerie, tattoos, and massages. I know my goal weight will be new clothes and more work, possibly a finish on my arm tattoo

I think that is all for now

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRIGHTEYES86 7/28/2011 3:38PM

    Great ideas!! Get "Malfoy Blonde" highlights!

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-POOKIE- 7/28/2011 3:40AM


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SCOTTGARAN 7/28/2011 12:25AM


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Sick of food...

Sunday, July 24, 2011

uggggg -- I am so tired of eating food. No matter what I eat, it all tastes the same to me.

I am so sick of chicken, fish, beef, pork - no matter how I prepare it, no matter what spices I use, it all tastes like nothing to me.

I know that food is supposed to be fuel for my body, and I should look at it that way and not as something to enjoy, however, I don't now, nor will I ever view food that way. If I don't like what I am eating, that just leads to binges, which leads to purges, which leads to me feeling crappy. Right now, however, it doesn't matter what it is, everything tastes like sand.

I made a new spark recipe last night for my lunch for the next few days. It tastes pretty good when I sampled it last night, but now, it just doesn't seem appealing to me.

I made pasta last night for dinner, and the first bite or two was really good, then it just reminded me of rubber.

I did have a Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat, and it was excellent. Maybe I should just drink beer?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1LBDOWN 7/30/2011 1:45PM

  I disagree that you should not look at food as something to enjoy. What do you enjoy eating? I don't necessarily care too much for meat, either. When I realized that, I cut it mostly out of my diet. Then, I found myself craving it, so I'd have small amounts of it - when that happened. Then I'd go back to eating primarily veggies, fruits, nuts, etc. That got me out of my food-funk.

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non-smoker status

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I have been a non-smoker for two years now...

whooo hoooo!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIKINGFIT 7/31/2011 8:13AM

    congrats on your accomplishments!!

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MPLSKEN 7/21/2011 11:36PM

    emoticon That is AWESOME!!!

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BRIGHTEYES86 7/20/2011 1:56AM

    emoticon You rock!!!!

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    emoticon on staying smoke free for 2 yrs!!!! emoticon emoticon
And way to go on the loss on the scale!!!! emoticon emoticon

How did you quit smoking?
Did you struggle?
It's a goal of mine but I'm not ready yet, but love to hear how others have quit. Pls. share with me.

Enjoy this day & emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    So happy for you!!


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The Great Toilet Paper Debate....

Monday, July 18, 2011

My boyfriend and I can not agree on a kind of toilet paper. Personally, I prefer good old fashioned Scott tissue. It is easy on the septic system, it is a good price, large rolls last a long time, it has no lint and did I mention that it is lint free?

He on the other hand, likes charmin or something similar. I am not down with that. It is too linty in my opinion and I am just not cool with it.

I thought I would compromise and I bought this Scott soft kind... big mistake. It is linty. I can't win!

I got on the scales this morning, and they read 229.8! Whoo Hoo! Well, actually it read 233.2, then I stepped off and it gave me --C-- then I stepped back on and it read out 229.8. I don't know what that means or why it does that. I then weighed myself three more times, and it came back with 229.8 so I am going to stick with that. I will double check it tomorrow, but I am pretty excited that I am FINALLY out of the 230's! Maybe this means I might be able to start losing weight like a regular person. I am really hoping for that.

Since I lost some weight, i treated myself to a nice relaxing day in the pool. I spent all afternoon relaxing on a raft and enjoying the nice weather. Tomorrow is my last day of vacation, so I am not sure how I am going to spend that. I know that I am going to prepare my work lunches for the next few days, I am just not sure what i am going to make.

I had to put the top back on my Jeep :(

I think that is all for now

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAMIEWRITER 7/19/2011 12:37AM

    Perhaps just buy both toilet papers? Lint butt, sore butt from to much roughness... either way, someone ends up feeling uncomfortable at home. Which is stranger-- a couple with 2 rolls of paper beside the toilet, or a happy couple that broke up because of some paper that gets flushed out with crap.
Of course, there's always the addition of those fresh wipes things. Or a bidet.

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BRIGHTEYES86 7/18/2011 11:47PM

    Scott tissue is the best... congratulations on losing the weight!!!!!

I think you should win the house cup this year!!!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/18/2011 11:48:23 PM

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PUPPETGIRLKY 7/18/2011 8:37PM

    You are awesome!!! Congrats!!! Keep up the great work:0) We like Angel Soft emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MPLSKEN 7/18/2011 8:26PM

    Congrats on the weight loss!

p.s. try Angel Soft if it is available in your area. It is septic safe and might be a good compromise. I love it, if one can "love" toilet paper.

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SCOTTGARAN 7/18/2011 8:11PM

    Hey Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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LIVIN_THE_LIFE 7/18/2011 8:01PM

    Congrats on the loss!!! I was fighting with my scale the past couple weeks cause it kept telling me I had gained 20 lbs in a month ... At least yours ended up consistent!! Au Revoir 230s!

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