Saturday, July 30, 2011
if you are pro-baby, pro-life, and pro-kid you will just want to skip this blog
I read an article on CNN yesterday about the world population crisis. It is set to reach 7 billion soon. The earth can not handle it. The ride is full. People need to stop breeding. It just isn't the developing countries either. Even though we are one of the richest countries in the world, we will feel the effects of over population. The demand for goods and services goes up, so does the price and we all suffer.
I am ok with this. In fact, I have chosen to live a child-free life. I started taking birth control at age 15 due to endometriosis. It was shortly thereafter, I decided I didn't want children. I was 16 when I first asked my doctor to tie my tubes. Of course he refused. Then again at 17, 18... and on up the line until my appointment last year.
Every time I am told the same thing... "I will change my mind. Every woman wants to be a mother" - one doctor even told me "You are not a woman if you don't have a child"
NO - that is NOT the case. I don't want to be a mother. In fact there is nothing in the world I want LESS than to be a mother. I despise children. I don't even think despise is the right word for it. I dislike them beyond words. I know that I would be a crappy one, and I am ok with that. I realize that and that is why I do not now, nor do I ever wish to reproduce. The thought of children makes my blood pressure go up. When I hear their whiny little voices, I want to stab my ear drums out so I don't have to hear them.
I can freely admit that I would be one of "those" mothers. You know, the ones that beat their children? The ones that drown their kids in the bathtub... yup that would be me. Everyone always tells me it is different when it "is your own" kids... no, I don't think that is the case at all. I realize this however, and thus why I want my tubes tied.
You would think after expressing this to the doctor (that and telling him if I ever got knocked up, it would meet the sharp end of a coat hanger) that they would be all for it... NOPE. Because once again... "every woman wants to be a mommy"
So all of these people (mostly men) think they can tell me what to do with my body. They want to take away my right to have an abortion, but yet, they won't do anything to prevent it except shove pills down my throat.
Of course, there are other methods of birth control, but I don't trust them. The pill is the most effective form and the one I trust the most. Condoms can break, foam can fail, I have never had a child, so getting an IUD is painful and has the same hormones as the pill, which is what I want to get off of. So why not tie my tubes?
I have been on birth control for over 15 years. Maybe it is just me, but that can't be good for me? That could possibly be where a lot of my inability to lose weight is coming from? I don't know... They say that birth control does effect weight, but I have read thousands (and yes, I do mean thousands) of post from women on message boards that claim otherwise.
So once, again, when I go for my yearly appointment, I am going to ask the doctor to tie my tubes... and I am sure that once again, I will be told... "every woman wants to be a mother"
That is all
ps: I am sorry if anyone take offense to this, however... I warned you in the beginning of the blog not to read it and second, it is how I feel, and it is related to my health.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
220 pounds- highlights
210 pounds - massage for 1 hour at the Bedford Springs resort
200 pounds - Hello Kitty Tattoo
**under 200 pounds rewards TBD**
I am thinking every 10 pounds I will treat myself to something awesome, I just don't know what quite yet. I know those are three things I want. I am pretty much guessing that I will eventually reward myself with clothes, lingerie, tattoos, and massages. I know my goal weight will be new clothes and more work, possibly a finish on my arm tattoo
I think that is all for now
Sunday, July 24, 2011
uggggg -- I am so tired of eating food. No matter what I eat, it all tastes the same to me.
I am so sick of chicken, fish, beef, pork - no matter how I prepare it, no matter what spices I use, it all tastes like nothing to me.
I know that food is supposed to be fuel for my body, and I should look at it that way and not as something to enjoy, however, I don't now, nor will I ever view food that way. If I don't like what I am eating, that just leads to binges, which leads to purges, which leads to me feeling crappy. Right now, however, it doesn't matter what it is, everything tastes like sand.
I made a new spark recipe last night for my lunch for the next few days. It tastes pretty good when I sampled it last night, but now, it just doesn't seem appealing to me.
I made pasta last night for dinner, and the first bite or two was really good, then it just reminded me of rubber.
I did have a Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat, and it was excellent. Maybe I should just drink beer?
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
I have been a non-smoker for two years now...
Monday, July 18, 2011
My boyfriend and I can not agree on a kind of toilet paper. Personally, I prefer good old fashioned Scott tissue. It is easy on the septic system, it is a good price, large rolls last a long time, it has no lint and did I mention that it is lint free?
He on the other hand, likes charmin or something similar. I am not down with that. It is too linty in my opinion and I am just not cool with it.
I thought I would compromise and I bought this Scott soft kind... big mistake. It is linty. I can't win!
I got on the scales this morning, and they read 229.8! Whoo Hoo! Well, actually it read 233.2, then I stepped off and it gave me --C-- then I stepped back on and it read out 229.8. I don't know what that means or why it does that. I then weighed myself three more times, and it came back with 229.8 so I am going to stick with that. I will double check it tomorrow, but I am pretty excited that I am FINALLY out of the 230's! Maybe this means I might be able to start losing weight like a regular person. I am really hoping for that.
Since I lost some weight, i treated myself to a nice relaxing day in the pool. I spent all afternoon relaxing on a raft and enjoying the nice weather. Tomorrow is my last day of vacation, so I am not sure how I am going to spend that. I know that I am going to prepare my work lunches for the next few days, I am just not sure what i am going to make.
I had to put the top back on my Jeep :(
I think that is all for now
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